I want to be that mom.
I do.
But Alex can attest to the many times I've asked him to stop growing and stay my little boy.
It's just that I feel a little short changed? I missed the first almost 11 years of his life and now I look up at this man/child of mine at his 5 foot 10 stature - soon to be taller next month - and I think, where is my little boy? I'm not ready for this. I didn't get enough time!
Regardless, we're working on husband skills. "Husband 101" to be precise. Some of our lessons include his fluent body language that says "I hate this, I don't want to, whatever you asked me to do is terrible and might kill me!" when his answer was simply and compliantly "Yes."
We're also working on tactfulness, using a kind voice as opposed to his gruff Ukrainian snarl, respect for women and their bodies and basic gentleman manners. Also working on not laughing and going along with the crowd when they're telling bad jokes and stories, standing up for what you believe and recently.... the proper etiquette of "hang out" with girls.
((Gulp))
That one is hard for me.
I know he's cute.
I knew this was coming but to me he's still that silly, broken English, giggling at Tom & Jerry, building inventions out of junk, obsessed with video games little boy. The boy that loves his face tickled, his back rubbed and sighs when he hugs me tightly.
But apparently to girls his ages he comes across as "The slightly foreign, yummy smelling, handsome, tall boy that is filling out his T-shirt and has that cute grin and wink?" .
Oh brother.
It started with a girl he met while working at scout camp that invited him to a dance.....they started texting. Regularly. Okay. Not a worry. She lives in WJ a good 20 minutes away. I'm cool with that. They got together a few times but it took a lot of planning and effort on both parents parts.
She was pretty safe.
Far away.....and you know how long distance relationships are?
Besides, we don't date in our home until 16 (which he will be in just about 3 months) and then it's group dates. He's cool with that. But this isn't dating... it's "hanging out"?
Now we have girls from school "hanging out". And I just recently found out that they're hanging out more than I even knew?
Husband 101 lesson on trust, the sin of omission and how being honest and truthful with your mom (or future wife) will get you a lot more privileges and trust than just omitting the things you don't want to bring up. Like "hanging out" with girls.
Last night it was going to a trampoline place with a guy friend - when in actuality it was a guy friend plus two girls from school AND that these same two girls were over for a movie at the guy friends house on Tuesday that Alex was invited too. Not to mention, we had the same two girls over last Friday for an hour to "hang out" at our house.
I know that one of the girls has a crush on Alex - it's pretty apparent?
Oy.
I learned of the last two "hanging out" episodes from the guy friends mom.
Oh Alex.
Moms.....we talk!
I'm happy for him. I am. Liking the opposite sex and figuring out social graces is all part of growing up. And it's fun and exciting and makes life worth living. I get that.
But I also get that I have only had 5 short years with him and although his body is a strapping almost 16 year old - sometimes his thinking, actions and emotions aren't quite there?
((Sigh))
So - as of last night - he promises to be honest and upfront and I got an "Okay, I'm sorry. I will tell you every detail at what we are doing and who will be there." (actual text quote when confronted on the issue.)
And I'm just putting this out there - for what it's worth.....
Dear girls that think my son is so cute,
He is.
But please be careful with my man cub. Despite his outward appearance he is still a little guy. My little guy to be exact and I'm not done molding and shaping him into the great man he will be.
I know YOU will have more influence on him than I will now. I know that he will want to be with you and snuggle you more than he'll want to be with me and snuggle with me.
I know he will listen to you and try to please you more than he will listen and please me.
You are a powerful influence. Be an influence for good?
Please treat his heart, mind and body with respect. I am trying to teach him to do the same for you.
One day when you are a mother you will understand and you will hope that the girls your boy attracts are kind, wholesome and inately good.
Please be that girl.
He's my baby.
~Alex's Mom
