Halloween Loot

Rylee with her stash...

Alex protecting his treasures...

Pretending to eat it all at once!

Dev....not wanting her picture taken but do take note of the many FULL sized candy bars! Good grief!

Trick or Treating....

The cousins!

Dev and her girlfrends

Alex and Brach....Brach is an Egyptian guy. Alex went as an elf. 

Carving Pumpkins!

18 Months Ago Today....

I arrived home with Alex.....from Ukraine. 

Six months and 12 days after the day we met him at this very airport when we hosted him, he was finally home!

Here he was in the airplane....

And here he is today....in between trick or treating

The same boy and yet so very different.

If you consider the year and a half home and how much he has learned, it's amazing!

Two Halloween's ago he was here on the hosting program and couldn't say "trick or treat"! He said "chicken-chicken". We laugh about it now. Just like we laugh about so many things that were such HUGE obstacles at one point. Things like:

Refusing to bath.

And when bathing, refusing to use soap.

Then once bathed, putting on the same old underwear he had on before. (gag!)

Now Alex is the poster boy for smelling good. In fact there are days when we all choke a little after he's put on his "man perfume". 

He even gel's and spike's his hair all on his own.

We struggled with homework and studying for months and months, I thought we'd struggle forever. 

Sure he has struggles but he attacks his homework, right after school and he has even confessed that he (get this) LIKES to read! (Insert sounds of angels trumpeting!)

I remember thinking that I would never have a two sided conversation with him and now we joke and tease and he's been able to tell me about his past, and the dreams of his future.

Today, I sent him down for hamburger in the freezer and he claimed we didn't have any. I told him we did and he looked again and still couldn't see it. I told him it doesn't SAY hamburger, just look at it. Still couldn't find it so as I walked down with him, we made a deal that if I could find it he'd owe me 10 kisses. Guess who got ten kisses today? And I didn't let him give them to me all at once - like he wanted to. I took one here and there all throughout the day. I told him that if I gave him a candy bar he could have saved it and eaten just a little all day long...right? That's what I wanted to do with my kisses.

Yep, we still have struggles but we've come so far. (Yes, I said we've. Because truth be told, I've been beside him, behind him, pushing him and dragging him - sometime kicking and screaming!)

I asked him today if it feels like he's been home eighteen months? No, he says he feels like he's been here three years! 

I, myself feel like he's always been here, how could we have been whole without him?

So happy 18 month's Alex!

We're so glad you're home!

Halloween Parade & Sister Witches

Rylee as Carmen Miranda....

Is she sassy or what?

Losing her fruit head piece after being picked up by her Dad....

Dad & Rylee

Alex as the mad scientist (or Colonel Sanders?)

That is his real hair.....plus some white hair spray.

And here I am as Wendy The Witch with my spooks, ready to tell stories to the 5th grade.

Here is a closer shot....

And with my sister.....are we pretty or what?

And just so you get the whole effect.....

Yes, I know.....so hot.....NOT!

Lectures

Alex has yet another scout camp this weekend. 

Brrrr....

(I am so glad I am not a scout!)

So, we're discussing who his tent mate will be and what to pack and I mention that we need to ask Dad which sleeping bag is best for cold weather. Alex informs me that he uses the sleeping bag that says 90 degrees. I try to explain that his sleeping bag does not say 90 degree's and I make a feeble attempt to explain sleeping bag ratings and that they are rated for how cold it can be and still keep you warm. Then I ask,

"Do you understand Alex?"

"No."

"Okay, maybe Dad can explain it better."

To which he gave a big sigh and proclaims,

"Dad takes long time to explain."

I suppress my laugh.

(James' lengths of lectures is something we all joke about. For being a man of little words he sure can be long winded when he gets on a roll!)
I can't help but ask Alex as I try not to laugh out loud,

"Aren't you glad that I do most of the lecturing?"

"Mom, you are almost as long as Dad."
Still trying not to laugh.

"Oh really?"

"Yes, but I ask Dad one little question and he takes a, a...", 
 he sits up in his bed and spreads his arms as far as they can go and with an exasperated voice continues "a.....paragraph to explain!"

I could help but burst out laughing!

Picture Catch Up

Thursday night, Devree's choir concert:

She had  a solo/duet at the last minute. Seriously, like 20 minutes before the performance the girl that was scheduled to sing was to frightened to sing without someone so Devree pitched in. She didn't know the song well but in all honesty, she did better than the original girl. The other girl kept laughing and hiding behind her hand. Devree -  although not her strongest performance - was very professional and given the circumstance, did a good job!

Friday morning while collecting a quilt my aunt donated to the SAC silent auction, my mom needed me to cover for her watching my nephew Zach. So I took him home to play with James. I thought this picture was hilarious!
Yes sir. That's my baby!

Friday night we had a small window of time to go out celebrate our 20th anniversary! It's not until November 2nd but this is the only night that we could go. That's a little pathetic, isn't it?

We went to a lovely place called Epic and this was the flat bread.

So yummy!

And bought blue balloons to take to the airport that night.

Went to the airport. 

The orphans landed around eleven and we left around midnight.

The next day it was a race to the DI and Walmart to come up with a costume for Austin. He decided on Friday that Saturday he needed a Lugi costume. But before I show you the pictures of the costume, let me introduce the mega-phone that I was asked to rent to help the photographers during the chaos of taking pictures after the orphans landed.

And that would be Austin yelling at people in the rain as I returned the mega phone on they way to the DI. He was like a little kid! Apparently it is every boys dream to have a mega-phone? I was so glad the place we rented from was a few blocks away AND that it was raining and there weren't many people out on the street. He managed to find a young lady coming out of the restaurant and he asked her via his booming mega-phone voice "Did you have a nice meal?" Good grief! I am so glad we don't OWN a mega-phone.

So after a $6 trip to the DI where we bought a green t-shirt and women's Capri overalls, (the only overall type pant we could find) a trip to Walmart for a $2 hat, and a $1.99 mustache from the costume store, here is Luigi:

He ran down to my mom's and she embroidered a L on the hat on her embroidery machine. He was ready to go with five minutes to spare before the start of his shift. Good grief! Nothing like the last minute.

Here's a picture I stole off of Facebook of Austin and his co-workers. Apparently, he had lost the itchy mustache by this time!

Austin went to work, I went to (and was co-in-charge of) the orphan swimming activity and everyone else went to a family wedding two hours away.

Even Kambree made it to the wedding. I stole these pictures off of FB too. (Thanks Heidi!)

Here's my girls at the reception with their cousin Sara, Devree is almost not in this picture.

That night we went back to the airport for the last orphan that didn't get on the plane the night before. (Ticketing issues) Poor little guy. I knew I could post this picture because it's just the back of every one's head, and no orphans are visible!

Since then I've partied with the orphans at an ice cream social, a trip to the museum and tomorrow we're going bowling. Cute, cute kids and fabulous host families. I would take pictures but I can't post them and since you all know I'm a rule breaker, I've just decided to not take pictures to avoid getting in trouble.

Is that a sign of maturity? 

Or a sign of just getting old & lame and following the rules?

My kids would agree with the latter.....

Just how far.....

Wow.

Nothing like hanging out with orphans fresh from Ukraine to realize just how far your adopted child has come. It's more than just the physical appearance & olfactory perception, which has improved dramatically, it's the whole package. As the children yesterday ate snacks and I tried to smile and communicate a few of them scowled and walked away or grunted and rolled their eyes, I was reminded of our first days of hosting Alex. A LOT of it is the lack of communication. Understandable. But a lot of it is lack of parenting. No one has taught these children social etiquette, graces or just basic kindness and manners.(This is not true for ALL orphans, there are certainly some sweet well mannered one's as well as rough and  gruff ones! I am just referring to a handful of boys observed during the swimming activity.)  I remember being so exasperated with just basic concepts like gratitude, friendliness, politeness and civility. I remember how frustrated James was with Alex because he'd walk off when he was trying to talk with him. Alex couldn't understand him and rather than try or at the least, sit there nodding, he'd just walk off. It drove James crazy!!
Amy and I were talking after Saturday's swimming activity about how much work and effort we have put into getting our children to the point they are now. Serious work and effort. Long ago I stopped worrying about Alex liking me, he needed a mother not a buddy or play mate. He needed guidance, nurturing, encouragement and occasional hard cold facts, bluntness and truth. I have had many mental talks with myself, "If you don't teach him this, who will?" and then I grit my teeth and dive right in. I've also had many, many talks with Alex explaining that if I didn't love him I wouldn't care about his behavior, attitude and manners etc.
He has begrudgingly come to believe me and realize that I do correct him, lecture, and reprimand him because I DO love him!
However, while hosting it's a difficult balance. Are they acting this way because they don't understand? Are they trying to just appear cool in front of their orphan friends?  Are they just so unaccustomed to American manners or social graces? Or the complexity of living in a family? Or are they really just defiant, angry children with a whole lot of emotional baggage that need parents more than they'll ever be able to admit?
Alex didn't really want to go to the ice cream social tonight. It's hard for him to see all these Ukraine kids. I thought at first it just took him back down memory lane. A painful, neglected, labeled and abused memory lane. But I think it bothers him most to not understand what they're saying and realize just how much he has forgotten. He told me today he can remember five words. Oh, my. I know five words.
I told him it was up to him if he came or not.
He elected to stay home.
Then I told him that I would like him to go because perhaps he'd remember a few words, just hanging around, that he doesn't have to speak Ukraine. These kids don't know him, they can just think he's an American boy. He was okay with that concept and agreed to go. Then I told him maybe these Ukraine kids need to see that living in America is great and that we don't adopt Ukraine kids  to harvest their organs or make them slaves. He was looked at me bewildered but nodded. (He never believed any of those crazy rumors floating around about "psycho" Americans!)
Then I thought a little more and went back to his room and told him the real reason he needs to go is for the hosting parents. To show them the potential of these children. To show them they can learn manners and be clean and speak English. He needs to give them hope. Hope that these little foreign children that they cannot communicate with have such great potential. That they can be loving, kind, respectful children. And would he please be on his best behavior?
He laughed and told me that not all kids are like him. That "I just got lucky!" That he is the BEST kid.
He's right, I did get lucky and I've told him as much before but, the BEST kid? Certainly not a very humble kid.  I told him that he is a GOOD kid, just like I'm a GOOD mom but I'm not the BEST mom. I then pointed out a few flaws (not liking baths, not liking school work, not retaining his Ukraine) that other children do not struggle with and reminded him that everyone has things they're the best at but no one is the best at everything. And we both agreed that we're both pretty good but we aren't the best.
Whew.
Humble lesson #23
That's okay. At least now we can talk about it, work it out, understand and communicate with each other. He has come far and it is a good reminder that I am lucky, that he is a good kid that we have come leaps and bounds and that maybe, just maybe all the work, talks, tears, prayers, frustration and patience are paying off?
Maybe I am a good mom?
Not the best by any means.
But today, I'll agree to good.
Tomorrow might be another story...

The Airport

Last night I had the awesome and daunting task of bring the "blue group" of orphans down the escalators at the airport. Two years ago, I was one of those parents standing behind the blue banner welcoming the kids to America. I was one of those mothers holding my breath wondering if I'd recognize the boy who's picture I had taped to my office wall for two months. I remember wondering and worrying. 

Was he scared? 

Will he like us?
Will the clothes I bought fit?

How will we communicate? 

And I was wondering if he was meant to be ours? 

Did we know each other before?

In this life before? 

Was this the boy I had promised to find? 

But last night, I was a the top of the escalator, trying to put those tired, scared faces in an order and figuring out who goes to which family and who is paired with who. When I arrived at the top of the escalator the group before mine was almost sorted out. I was surprised to see how young these children looked, but more so, I was touched by the tiredness and concern in their eyes. What a huge scary experience. To travel for over 24 hours, 42 children with five adults. What brave little souls. It looked as if a few were on the verge of tears. As the first group descended to cheers and clapping it sounded like a roar from above the escalators and not knowing what the sound was or who it was for my group of children shuddered a little and looked around. Little did they know that the thunderous applause and excitement would soon be for them. As I pointed to pictures and sorted in my mind what child goes with what family, I wanted to hug each one of them and let them know it would be okay. Especially the little blond six year old. Oh, he is so tiny and cute. They are all so cute. The thing about Ukrainian orphans, is they look just like American children. Only a little forlorn and of course after traveling so long, a little un-kept, and there was that familiar orphan odor and need for baths and clean clothes. (My breathing technique that I perfect when visiting with the children in the orphanage in Ukraine came rushing back. The key is not to inhale deeply through the nose.)

I managed to not fall down the escalator and I was grinning like a Cheshire cat - like I had something to do with delivering these children? But I was just so proud and excited, I couldn't wait for these families to meet these kids. Moms had embraced me in the airport, sharing their excitement and fears. I had delivered a blue balloon for each child to each of the families. There were four colors, Red, Yellow, Green and Blue. I looked around at all these balloons representing each child and thought of the promise. The promise they represent. Although only a hosting program and not an adoption program, because of the opportunity to host, many hearts and homes are opened to adoption. Many of these children may be meeting their parents for the first time tonight and many of these parents may be embracing and introducing themselves to their children. It makes me teary to think about it.

(My cute Dev holding the extra blue balloons!)

Of course the nostalgia was over whelming. Remembering meeting Alex. Seeing his face for the first time. Making introductions. Alex was there at the airport last night, clad in his red Aeropostale shirt and spiky gelled hair. Grinning from ear to ear with his braces sparkling. My boy. Our boy. Our son. Two years ago, he arrived, scared, tired, un-kept and not smelling so great, and now look at him. He was going to try and help translate but was scared. He said he could understand what they were saying but he couldn't remember the words to say back. Later on the ride home Alex confided that he's the only one (out of his orphanage friends) that cannot speak Ukraine. James asked if that made him feel bad? " No." Was his nonchalant answer with his familiar shrug. I think in Alex's mind he is now "all the way American" and he wouldn't have it any other way. Two weeks after arriving home he told us "I no speak Ukraine. I American boy now." and he really hasn't. Of course back then he was choosing to not speak Ukraine, now he has no choice, he has forgotten it

On the way home I asked what he remembered about the airplane ride and meeting us for the first time. He only remembers being tired. Not scared. Just tired. 

I asked him about a few other hosting memories and he claims to not remember much. Not even the bath I gave him a week into the hosting experience due to his fake bath technique of rubbing shampoo on his hair and getting it wet and NEVER actually getting in the tub. He doesn't remember that at all. He wailed through the whole thing!  Although he does remember the bath he cried about when he had a scrape on his leg from learning to ride a bike. I could hear him crying and had thrown him a washcloth to cover himself so I could go in and help him with his leg. When I walked in he was using the washcloth to wipe his tears and cared nothing about his privacy. I think that was the moment I realized just how much this boy trusted me and needed a mom. 

Last night when I tucked Alex into bed I hugged him extra tight and told him how glad I was that he was ours and how glad I am that he's here to stay. He hugged me tight and kissed my cheek and told me he was glad he was here too.

(Sigh)

So now onward!

Things to see, parties to attend, memories to make!

Blessings to all our host families!

May your:

• Cooking be acceptable.

• The clothes you bought fit.

• Biological children be accepting.

• Patience be long.

• Love be strong

• Host children find joy in cleanliness

And...

May your pantomiming and charade skills be sharp! 

Love,
Wendy

And here's a couple pictures. I figured this is two big group shots and you can't really tell who's the orphan and who's not....right? So, it's okay to post this.....right? If not? Shhhhhh.

Oh the Glamorous Life I Lead

As many of you know, I dabble in acting. I have a talent agent and every so often I get sent to auditions and even less often, I get a part.
I don't especially like film and TV but it pay's unlike live theater. I LOVE live theater but I limit myself to one live theater show with a short run - usually local summer theater -  and I try to get my family? No, kids? No, daughters to participate with me. Thus relieving some of the guilt of being gone so much for rehearsals. (And we have a lot of fun....well, we have some fun depending on how many cute boys are in the cast for my girls to flirt with.)

So, last week I got a call that I needed to send in a full body shot to my agent. Well, being the author and photographer of this blog and our families scrapbook I have to admit. Not a lot of pictures of me, especially full body shots. 

I dug up this one and sent it:

(Remember when I dressed up as a Southern Debutante and embarrassed my teenagers at the Etiquette  dinner? It's sort of glamorous. And I can't help but be a tad proud that I squeezed myself into Kambree's prom dress.)

Hum....

Could I please send a picture with less "puffy clothing"?

Great.

So after searching high and low through my files. I found some, but with other people, oh well. Here they are:

And that's ALL the full body shots I could find. 

(Except maybe a few from the backside which were not flattering at all!)

And guess what?

I got the part!!

No audition necessary.

I was told I'd be playing the part of a violin teacher. Given a list of wardrobe items to bring and to show up at a certain church at a certain time.

2 hour job

$150 bucks!

Whootwoo! 

So I show up with the requested wardrobe choices. They pick my blue dress that with a gray cardigan and  my old lady looking pumps and send me to hair and make-up.

(My FAVORITE part about film and photo shots is hair and makeup!)

There, the secret is let out.

I am suppose to look matronly. MATRONLY? I AM A OLD LADY VIOLIN TEACHER?

Yep.

They give me reading glasses on a chain to wear. 

Nice.

It was a photo shoot and will be on the opening web page for Yamaha. (As in the same company that makes motorcycles, pianos and apparently violins?) I am in the back ground of a violin recital pointing to a paper showing another little violin player that she is next. The girls are darling. Six and nine years old. I am not so darling.....

(Here are some terrible pictures off my cell phone that I cannot rotate.)

Oh my.

What a nice spinster look. 

I've always joked that I'll have the time to do theater when my children are grown. When I'm all wrinkly and grey, then I can play all the grandma parts. I just thought that was still a ways  away?

Apparently not.

Hum....

Maybe there will be some Depends or Polident commercials in my near future? Or better yet? Maybe they'll remake Little House on The Prairie and I can play Miss Beetle, the spinster school teacher. Or a prudish librarian, a mean nurse Ratched-like the one tormenting the Moore's in Ukraine at the sanatorium, or someones awful mother in law?

Wow. The possibilities are endless.

Watch out Betty White!

Here They Come!!

The next batch of Ukraine orphans arrive this Friday night!
Forty-two to be exact!

This year with being a captain, I get to see just how much work and effort goes into getting these kids here. (I think I mentioned this before? I am a captain over an orphanage? Well, half an orphanage. We have a BIG orphanage and  Andreas and I are sharing the responsibilities. Amy & Carlin are over another and Margie the other.)
Can I just say.....
we have FABULOUS families this year!!
Seriously.

But in all fairness, there's not a family through the Save A Child Foundation that is not fabulous! I love rubbing shoulders with them, texting at all hours of the day and night with my new found BFF's, following each others blogs, getting together for lunch, sharing stories, cheering each other on in their adoption adventure and just being friends! I look forward to the new friendships I'll make with our new families. 

I've got my families set up on a group text, a group email and I just tried to find them all on FB. (Look at how modern technology savvy I am? That texting group only took me about two hours to figure out!)

Lately, I've had calls with all kinds of fun questions to field, 

"Do the Ukraine boys like boxers or briefs?" 

(The answer....briefs. Alex didn't switch over to boxers until he was "all the way American".) 

"Can I cut your borscht recipe in half?" 

Sure....why not?
(Except it's a lot of work and keeps for weeks so I'd probably just make the whole pot!)

And then they ask about Alex....and I ramble on an on about my boy. 

I asked him yesterday if it made him uncomfortable, me talking about him? He had been sitting in the room through my phone conversation. He didn't realize I was talking about him. Wow. My other kids hang on every word I say when their name is brought up in conversation. Not Alex. 

So, I guess I can talk away....until he decides to start paying attention?

So life's going to get a little crazy these next few weeks. You might not hear from me for awhile. I'm sure you are all heartbroken. (Yeah, right.) They've asked us not to post pictures on our blogs of the hosted children. Good thing that wasn't a rule when we hosted. (Or maybe it was and I just didn't know? Or blocked it out?) 

I do hope that our families will consider keeping a blog or at least writing daily about the hosting experience. I did and I cherish it. I would have forgotten so much and Alex has forgotten almost all of it. When asked about what he remembers he told me he was here for three days. Three days? Not 2 1/2 weeks? I was able to go back and read to him my blog entries and show him pictures.

 My friend Sara has this quote on her blog:
Do not trust your memory, it is a net full of holes; the most beautiful prizes slip through it. 
--George Duhamel

Isn't that the truth?

So new families, if you're out there. BLOG! (And be sure to share your blog address with me! I will be your #1 fan!)

Also, I need to give a plug for our benefit concert and silent auction. 

Save A Child Foundation presents....

What Is Your Dream?

Monday, November 1, 2010 

at 

Mount Jordan  Middle School

(9360 South 300 East Sandy, Utah 8407)

Featuring Jon Schmidt & Angela Winston

Doors open at 5:00 pm

Advance Ticket prices are $10 per person or $40 for a family

At the door ticket prices are $12.50 per person, $50 for a family.

(Let me know if you'd like to buy tickets and I'll hook you up!)

Visit:

http://saveachildevent.blogspot.com/

or 

call Ann Carr at 801-638-2761 for raffle tickets 

or 

Amy Rast at 801-201-7196 concerning the Silent Auction.

One of our fabulous parents, Ari made a video with pictures and interviews of many of our families and their children and it will be shown during the concert. Yours truly and Alex will be in this. (I hope I don't look like a giant as Alex and I are sitting on little kid primary chairs during our interview!)

So, there you have it.

My life for the next three weeks!

Lagoon 2010

Friday we hit Lagoon. It was UEA and the kids were out of school for four days and since we hadn't made it to Lagoon all season.....I broke down and took them!

It was a perfect day. Not too hot, not too cold and the lines were nice and short when we first go there. 

Alex and Rylee were so excited they got up and emptied the dishwasher on their own accord and helped me pack lunch. I rememeber being excited for Lagoon when I was little. I would get butterflies like it was Christmas. The drive there seemed to take forever and the entire event was just a joy!

Wish I could say the same now. 

As I was following the boys from ride to ride, I sent James a text. "You know you're old when the idea of never going to Lagoon again sounds lovely." To which he replied "You know your old when you say that every year and yet pay the ticket price again the next year!" 

Here are the kids before the first ride. 

The majority of the riders hit "Re-Entry" first:

But the others hit a ride a little more their speed. (Last year Alex "frowed up in his mouth" on a few of the high speed rides. We were trying to avoid that this year.)

So, I tagged with the three youngest boys and the other four went crazy with their thrill seeking, twisty, turning, plunging rides, while we stuck to rides like "The Scrambler":

Our first ride all together was "The Pirate Ride" I don't think that is the real name but that's what we call it.

Tyler looks frightened here-but he really wasn't.

Then we all did the big swing ride. 

Here is Devree & Kambree giving us some Super Model poses:

Then Brach broke off and went with the thrill seeking kids and Tyler, Alex and I hit kiddie land:

Here's Austin, amusing us at lunch with his big hammer. Count on Austin to make us laugh and convince us to let him hammer on our heads at least one time!

Kammy showed up with Syd and dinner around 5.

And then the spooks came out:

It was time for Devree's maiden voyage on the Sky Coaster. Yes, Rylee had gone before but not Dev. The three of them plucked down $15 per person and were hoisted hundreds of feet in the air, pulled a  cord and plunged down, down, down until they hit the bottom of the rope and then swung back and forth. Shrieking in delight!

It makes me sick just watching. 

They LOVE it!

Taking Syd on some Kiddie Rides:

Syd finally decided she was having fun:

Possing for pictures outside of Dracula's Castle

Going home..... all tuckered out.....

Some of us were more tuckered out than others:

The whole group posing for one last photo op:

The funniest part of the whole night was the Hypnotist. 

Kambree was hypnotized and she was a riot. She danced like The Village People, thought the edge of the stage was a 500 foot cliff, laid on her tummy to peer over, then when the hypnotist told her he was "floating" (by stepping on the stair off the stage) she asked if she could try and she thought she too was floating....500 feet in the air! She thought her neighbor smelled atrocious and then that SHE smelt atrocious, got really cold, really hot, danced like a puppet, saw a ghost (and cuddled in fear with a very handsome large guy that was also hypnotized), thought she was handed $1000 (and turned away to tuck it securely in her bra), and here she is thinking she is a famous butt drummer: 

I think she was the star of the show - if you ask me - but I didn't watch anyone else.

Not the best video-but given I was shooting it between my knees with Syd sitting on my lap-I think I did pretty good! (Yeah, I'm rebellious-video recordings are not allowed. Shhhh!)