What was going on with us in Ukraine last year:

http://blessedwitharichhart.blogspot.com/2009/03/tuesday-time.html

Easter Cake

My friend Ritva brought over a Easter Cake or Pashka as Alex calls it. Ritva is so sweet and is always thinking of Alex. She's from Finland so I think she knows what it's like to miss her native country. I'm not sure where she got it but Alex was so very excited. He reminded me over and over that they eat these on Easter and they are so yummy. (I was in Ukraine during Easter and I know all about Easter cakes but regardless, Alex needed to tell me about it again a few times!) Well, they're yummy to Alex-the rest of us had one bite and put it back. (Very dry and yeasty tasting-just like the one's I had last year in Ukraine!) Alex said they're suppose to be dry-like a cracker-and with that he poured himself a glass of milk to get his piece and the remains of ours down!

Here's where we were last year:

http://blessedwitharichhart.blogspot.com/2009/03/monday-musings.html

Skyping

This is Alex talking to his half brother, Ivan in Ukraine yesterday. He hadn't spoke to Ivan & Snezhanna since January. He could understand them but he said they talked too fast. However, he couldn't find Ukraine words to respond at all so he just spoke in English and Snezhana had to translate. There were many things they did not understand. The one thing we did understand is that Alex is going to be an UNCLE!! Snezhanna is due in September. Alex informed me that I will be a babushka too but I'm not so sure about that.....

He didn't seem to upset that he couldn't communicate with his brother. He's under the impression that THEY just need to learn more English.

Here's where we were last year.

http://blessedwitharichhart.blogspot.com/2009/03/sunday-in-dnipropertrosk.html

The Fabulous Fort

This is the fort.

Better described as a fence with prickly weeds woven on top to fortify said fort/fence from enemy attacks!

The proud architects , builders and dwellers of the fort/fence:

Alex & Brach

The use of the fort/fence? Air soft bb gun wars....of course!

Fort/fence comes equipped with a built-in air soft bb gun place that not only hide's but protect's your air soft bb gun from the elements-a good thing as the fort/fence doesn't have a roof to protect occupants at all.

Anyone want to come over for an air soft bb gun war??

Here's where we were last year with our fort/fence builder:
http://blessedwitharichhart.blogspot.com/2009/03/speaking-of-saturday.html

Blessings & Ingenuity

Last year I was in Ukraine for SIX weeks and ONE day. As far as work went, I had two listings and zero buyers. One withdrew while I was there and the other went under contract. When I got home and was over my head with the newness and complicated adjustment of adding a new child to our family, business was slow. So slow that once in the summer-when James and I were looking for an address-I was explaining that State Street isn't always zero west and east, sometimes west side addresses can be east of State, James remarked "Good thing you were once a real estate agent." Were once? I still was a real estate agent! But it did feel like I was on an extended vacation. One that I wasn't sure when I'd be returning from. Well, today I entered my SIXTH listing! SIX! I'm usually a two to three listing agent with a handful of buyers. Buyers are still slim-most are pending me selling their current house-but WOW! Business is picking up! (Anyone needing a good home? I have four in Murray, one in West Jordan and one in West Valley.)

It's good since we need to pay for so many things lately like Alex's braces, an additional car to add to our fleet, tuition for Kambree, and maybe finishing our dungeon like basement?

Anyway, I just needed to give thanks, thanks for my new business and a special thanks for the slow time. I really needed that time to adjust with my boy.
Here's Alex today.....
(Hauling wood over to Brach's house for the infamous fort!)

Now, when I saw him leave and before I could closely inspect his contraption, I yelled "Where is your helmet?" (Yes, Amy has trained me well!) Alex on second thought-or maybe in order to avoid wearing a helmet-suggested that he'd just walk the wagon over. I told him he better go get my camera-I was working in the yard and had mud on my shoes-before he unhook his crazy hauling contraption. He posed for this picture and then unhooked the wagon. Walking-I discovered upon further inspection-was a splendid idea because as you can see in this close up, he had attached the wagon to the bike-on the side-with his bike lock and a play set of handcuffs!

Ingenious? Yes!
Safe? NO!
Good grief!

Last year he was on a bike too....

http://blessedwitharichhart.blogspot.com/2009/03/finally-friday.html

Broken or Ripped Off?

What a dreary morning this morning. AND the first day of Spring Break. I hope it starts looking better-I have grand plans of all of us cleaning up the backyard to prepare for our Easter egg hunt on Easter.
Last night Alex asked me a for a "broken" shirt. No, he corrects him self "a ripped off" shirt.
Me: Do you mean a ripped up shirt? Like an old shirt?
Alex: Yes
Me: Why?
Alex: I making flag for fort!
James found him an old shirt and Alex cut it up and made a flag-he drew a skull and crossbones on it. Oh my. I'm going to have to go get some pictures of this fort!

Here's where we were last year today:

http://blessedwitharichhart.blogspot.com/2009/03/day-in-ukraine.html

http://blessedwitharichhart.blogspot.com/2009/03/thursday-thoughts.html

What mom doesn't know....

Last night James came home!! Hurray. It's always a mini-party when he gets home from his two weeks stints!
We were ALL home for dinner without any other friends-a rarity at the Richhart home-and we all started reminiscing about our school days. I learned that many of my children have had visits to the principal and ISS (In School Suspension) office-unknown by me.
I remember having an unwritten seven year rule with my mom. If we could keep something from her for seven years then she couldn't get mad at us when we finally fessed up. My children haven't waited seven years apparently they think seven months is long enough? Luckily most of the indiscretions were minor like Austin starting a crayon fight in sixth grade, Kambree throwing some boys shoes over the fence when he accidentally kicked it off playing soccer, silly things like that.
Since we were all sharing times we got in trouble Alex wanted to share too. Apparently in "kindergarten" he found a rubber band and flipped it and it accidentally hit another child in the eye. The teacher smacked him on the head (Alex is pantomiming a vicious pow, pow, pow about five times with fists on his head) and sent him to bed.
We all just sort of sat in silence for a beat or two.
Makes ISS and Principal visits seem a bit tame doesn't it?
Then he shared about getting in a massive food fight in the cafeteria and the orphanage director coming in and trying break it up and the kids throwing food at her too. He was laughing so hard he had a hard time telling us the story.
Tomorrow is the start of Spring Break! We're hoping to get out of town next week. Hurray! No more making sack lunches for eight days!


Here's today's link to last years adventure.
Only one post. Can you believe it?
http://blessedwitharichhart.blogspot.com/2009/03/rain-in-urkaine.html

This-n-That

I've been trying to write daily as I've been follow our adventure in Ukraine last year and posting links for those that would like to follow along but today, I've got nothing.

Let me think....

Oh, in Alex's journal writing last night he wrote

I like my home-it is fun to play with my sisters and brother.

I like my brother so much and sisters so much.

I suggested maybe he should tell his siblings this.

"No, it's a secret!"

While finishing up his homework he asked me if he can have a Facebook account when he is 14 or 15 years old because he wants to play Farmtown so bad!

Oh! Here's something I wanted to blog!

When my children call each other names or speak unkindly to each other I make them say five nice things to each other. Sometimes this is pure torture for them and great entertainment for me! Sunday Alex and Rylee had to do it and Alex would just shrug and say "I don't know." He finally came up with five things but they were pretty lame.

Anyway, today Devree called Rylee a stupid head. I'm fuzzy on the details but I made Devree name five nice things about Rylee.

She started off with:

"You read good."

"Ewww!" exclaimed Rylee with disgust.

"What?" We both said at the same time.

Rylee, "Did you say I BREED good?"

Devree and I burst out laughing!!

No....READ!!!

Oh my.

Before school today I was reading Benson's blog and showing Alex the pictures. He could barely remember Constantine's apartment but that was because he only went there once. (Once I sneaked him in to make chocolate chip cookies.) He could remember Victor-after I told him who he was and then he shrugged when he saw Naydia-the director.
While combing his hair for school I asked:
Alex, why don't you like Naydia?
She take my candy you send in box.
She took ALL your candy?
Yes. She open box and take all candy and say you can't have candy.
Did you say anything?
(Alex looks at me with a confused expression-obviously standing up to the orphanage director is unheard of.)
Me: Well, your right. Taking your candy isn't very nice. But Alex, Naydia was so very nice to us. She said so many good things in court for us. It's because of her that you have a mom & dad.
Yes. (long pause) but I still don't like her!
I hugged him and kissed his forehead and told him how glad I was that he was with us now and he smiled up at me and said. "And I'm sealed and we're forever." "That's right" I said and we hugged some more.

Last year, this was the day I was able to see the other children and post video's. It took a few post's to get them all on!

http://blessedwitharichhart.blogspot.com/2009/03/post-by-james.html

http://blessedwitharichhart.blogspot.com/2009/03/this-is-post-some-of-you-have-been.html

http://blessedwitharichhart.blogspot.com/2009/03/continued-from-above.html

http://blessedwitharichhart.blogspot.com/2009/03/and-more-continued.html

Sentimental Smells

Smell is a potent wizard that transports you

across thousands of miles and all the years that you have lived.

~Helen Keller

With my youngest baby, I bought new perfume-actually I think James bought me new perfume-and I wore it everyday when she was an infant. I did this not only because I loved the perfume but so I could leave a little blanket with her that "smelled" like me. Hopefully, bringing her comfort that I was close by. Maybe it would help her sleep and/or help James when I left her with him. If it worked or not? Who knows.

I've done the same thing with Alex. Before we hosted him I purchased new perfume-actually at the elementary fundraiser. I bid on a basket of Estee Lauder products and got it. Tucked in with the skin care and makeup samples was a full sized, pale pink bottle of fabulous smelling perfume. I wore it everyday Alex was with us that fall. I later mailed him a little USA beanie bear sprayed with the same perfume while he was in the orphanage. I know, kind of corny. I just know smells are such powerful triggers for me. I wanted him to be able to remember me, remember my scent. Remember how his mom smells.

This same perfume I brought to Ukraine and wore everyday while completing our adoption adventure.

When we got home I was tired of it (and Ukraine and the whole experience-truth be told) and I didn't wear it for months. Besides, it was silly. It's not like Alex even noticed. It was a whimsical idea. After being home a few months I started wearing it again, maybe a couple of times a month. Wearing it now makes memories of Ukraine and our whole adoption experience just rush back. And that's a good thing. Now. Now that I've been home for awhile.

I never told Alex about my perfume-or anyone for that matter. I'm sure James just thought I really liked this new perfume. It was just one of my silly, sentimental things. I wanted Alex to associate this smell as "MY MOM" but he had never mentioned it or that he liked how I smelled or anything. He is just a little boy, I mean really. And it's not like I'm going to wear the same perfume forever so it was all kind of silly. I just chalked it up to Wendy's silly sentimentality, a failed experiment. A good excuse to buy perfume. Right?

Well, yesterday I wore the perfume for no rhyme or reason. Probably because I've been walking down memory lane all week re-reading about our experience in Ukraine last year and following the Benson's blog like the blog hawk that I am. They're in Ukraine now adopting out of the same orphanage. Who knows?

So I'm cooking dinner and Alex comes up and leans in for a hug. (Nothing abnormal about that. He likes to hug and he especially likes to eat so I get things like "I love you mom" when I'm preparing dinner. In fact last night I got a "Yous so beautiful Mom." when I put dinner on the table.) I catch him inhaling deeply as he's hugging me. He looks up at me and says "Mom, you smell like Snezhana." (His half brother's wife in Ukraine. The only woman from his past that was ever remotely kind to him.) Snezhana? I was taken back a bit. Did I really smell like Snezhana? Not that she's not a lovely person or anything. I am cooking dinner, maybe I'm cooking something that smells Ukraine-ish? Then I realize I have on my perfume.

Hum.....I highly doubt that Snezhana wears Estee Lauder Beautiful/Sheer on a regular bases. I finished making dinner and give the situation some thought. I think I've figured it out.

What he's smelling IS me but because he's associating feelings and memories from his past-hopefully pleasant memories-he can't quite place it. The only time Alex has ever shared fun, nice, or loving memories Ivan and Snezhana are always part of the picture. So, he's assuming it's Snezhana-she represents his past-his past in Ukraine-he doesn't associate me with his past as I am his present. He's just gone back too far!

Later while sitting with him doing homework I brought it up. I told him my secret, how I had bought this perfume right before he arrived a year ago October and how I wore it everyday then and then everyday in Ukraine. I told him how I did the same thing for Rylee when she was a baby-so she would know how her mama smells. His eyes lit up, "Yes, Mom, it's you!" and then he leaned over and smelled me again. Nodding. Smiling. He remembers. This is how mom smells.

Whimsical. Sentimental. Maybe even silly.

Yep, that's me.

And here I was last year-smelling like I did yesterday!

http://blessedwitharichhart.blogspot.com/2009/03/more-monday.html
and
http://blessedwitharichhart.blogspot.com/2009/03/monday-getting-down-to-business.html
and
http://blessedwitharichhart.blogspot.com/2009/03/more-monday.html

Apparently it was a very wordy Monday!

Alex Moments

When leaving church this week Alex proceeded to throw all his garbage in my purse.

"Alex, I don't want all this stuff in my purse."
As I'm removing his folded paper frogs, sunglasses, pens and paper scraps. I have a much smaller purse these days as I found my big bottomless bag was just a catch all for EVERYTHING and I ended up carrying every body's stuff.
"Where yours big purse mom?"
"I don't have it anymore besides, why should I have to carry all your stuff?"
Alex looks right into my eyes and with a mischievous twinkle says:
"Because YOU are MY mom!!"
Sunday morning was so sunny and glorious that Alex went back in the house to get his sunglasses before leaving for church. He attached them to his belt loop as he had them in his Glummy and then proudly announced, "I look like Dad now!" I think he pointed at the Glummy hanging from his belt loop about three times during church and reminded me that he looks like Dad. Funny, I never saw him wear his glasses on his face except indoors as entertainment during our two hour Stake Conference. ("Mom, I look cool?")
He also has it in his head that he NEEDS glasses. (Which he doesn't!) He borrows mine-which are hardly a prescription and claims he can see so much better. He sat in church with my glasses on doing his word find. Which is even funnier as my glasses are for distance not for close up.
Since I'm on the topic of Sunday, Rylee is a very loving, snugly girl. And she really likes to hug Alex. They've come to a truce. Sunday are hug days. Usually Rylee hugs him all the way home from church. Alex acts like he's a bit put out about it but he complies. However, a few Sunday's ago I caught him REMINDING Rylee that today is hug day. So I think he doesn't mind as much as he'd like us to think he does.
Here's a candid shot of one of these hugs:
Well, this morning I've already had one text from Austin-he forgot to bring clothes for his choir festival today. One "check me out quick" from Kambree with more details to come and one call from Alex's teacher asking me to help her explain to Alex that he can only have one book from the library and needs to keep it in his desk at school until after spring break. All this while I was showing houses this morning. (No, I take that back-Austin's text came while I was in the shower trying to get ready to go show houses-he ended up singing in his jeans and t-shirt because I couldn't possibly get his dress clothes up to the school within ten minutes as I was dripping wet!)

Here's what our day was like last year at this time. Funny it seems a little more peaceful than my life today!

http://blessedwitharichhart.blogspot.com/2009/03/meeting-ivan-snezhanna.html

Saturday....sweet!

Yesterday was so nice! The weather was way nice but nicer than that....we had very little slated on the calendar!! After eight weeks of three basketball games every Saturday, it was heaven!!

So we all did a little house work and then I just let everyone play. I did a little work-work myself-showed a couple houses, worked on a counter offer but for the most part-just ran a few errands and hung out at home! It was great!
I did go coach the young women basketball game at five. We're in region competition and we won!! Great!? Another game next week!
This is Dev, leading everyone in the Young Woman theme before the game:
I had let Alex play with friends and video games ALL day long. When I left for the adult session of Stake conference I asked him to do three things. Take a bath, read for twenty minutes and write in his journal. I went over these three things again when I left. Okay mom. He said.
So, imagine my surprise when I got home, finding him playing Wii and ask for his journal. He's hastily written two sentences. I asked about reading. Nope, not done. However, he has had a bath.
Once again, we have a long talk. I won't bore you with ALL the details (trust, privileges, obedience) but towards the end I talked to him about him needing to WANT to learn and that I can't MAKE him learn he has to WANT it for himself.
I tell him how smart he is and he looks away. Then I feel a little inspiration. I tell him I know that people in his past told him he was stupid and couldn't learn and that he was no good and he just bows his head and begins to sob. The hurt was so real. I take his face in my hands and tell him how wrong they are. He is NOT stupid. He is so very smart. Tears are just cascading down his cheeks. I just had such a surge of love for this little guy and a surge of anger for the teachers and adults that have made him feel worthless in the past. I kissed his forehead and wiped his tears that flowed so freely and told him to never forget-in fact I made him write it in his journal-"My mom thinks I'm smart!" At first he didn't want to write it because he said. "I not smart." I gave him the story about the farmer that planted peas in his garden and hoped he'd grow corn and how our brains are like gardens and what we plant in them is what grows. If he plants "I am smart" he will grow smart but what happens when you plant "I am NOT smart?" He answered, "I not be smart?" Right. I said. Besides I'm asking you to write "My Mom thinks I'm smart." Then we talked about how he is going to prove all those people wrong that labeled him stupid in his past. He's going to do great things! We hugged and tickled and then I asked if he used soap in his bath? No, shampoo. We talked again (Gosh what is this the 100th time?) about soap. He had received deodorant at the maturation program and although I had already supplied him with deodorant, THIS deodorant he is attempting to use. I told him how soap has deodorant in it and keeps his skin clean and smelling fresh. He gave me one of his "ah-ha" looks, like he finally understood BUT I've been fooled in the past-he's very good at looking like he understands and nodding and the right time and yet....nothing changes! I guess we'll see.
This morning he came rushing down chuckling to himself in his Sunday clothes.
Mom, you know my thought?
No, tell me what you're thinking.
I thought today school day! I wake Rylee. Hurry. We be late to school. I think, "why mom wake up Devree and Austin, not wake us?" Then Rylee say, "Alex it's Sunday." I already have school clothes on! I go change.
I laugh with him and then remind him, he needs another bath this morning. He needs to use soap.
Oh yeah, he says happily and runs to get in the tub.

This is one of the things Alex did yesterday. All on his own. Build a bird house. And he thinks he not smart???


Just in case you're following along with me. I had TWO entries for today last year. Here they are:

http://blessedwitharichhart.blogspot.com/2009/03/random-ukraine-thoughts.html
http://blessedwitharichhart.blogspot.com/2009/03/we-finally-get-to-see-alex.html

Devree's Talent Show!

Friday was Dev's talent show at the junior high. She and these three other crazy girls did a 80's medley lip sync. They worked for weeks on our "dance floor" in my kitchen. (I swear if I hear "Eye of the Tiger", "Footloose" or "Summer Lovin" anytime soon-I will go crazy!)

James- as promised, here is the video of the blessed event! Sorry about my video skills.

Where we were last year on this day:

http://blessedwitharichhart.blogspot.com/2009/03/heading-to-dniprozerzynsk.html

The Vampire's Mother!

I made it through Thursday!!!

Hurray for me!!

It's not that anything was bad or terrible-in fact everything was fun and good it was just....
so much!!

First off, I DID get the part of the vampire's mom. My characters name was actually "Paul's Mom" very appropriate since I'm known in these parts as Kambree's Mom, Austin's Mom, Devree's Mom etc. (It's not a major motion picture or anything so don't be looking for me on the silver screen-just a 10 minute short to promote a new film production company-if I ever see it or it hits You-tube, I'll link it-but only if I don't look like a ding dong!) Filming was slated for last Friday, then pushed to Tuesday, then Wednesday and finally ended up on Thursday. (Yeah, that's how film goes!)

I skipped the gym-sorry Amy-to gear up for my crazy day. (But in truth? I should of got up and worked out rather than toss and turn then get up late and throw my morning off!)

I needed to be in Provo at ten.  I made lunches, got kids out the door, drove the junior high carpool-in my nightgown with James' robe over the top-and came home and checked on my bloggy friends. I was just hanging, chilling getting ready for my shot and I realized that I didn't really know where I was going! I  goggled my location and realized that I should be leaving in TEN minutes! Yikes! I jumped in the shower-went all natural with hair and makeup-as there would be a makeup artist there-and jumped in the car!

The Google directions were crazy and I got so confused. I finally just let my Realtor instincts take over and found the location without the printed turn by turn lousy directions-with five minutes to spare. Whew!

We were shooting at some cute old ladies house that was all done in 1980's blues and browns. Well taken care of but VERY dated. (Hard to separate my day job from my moonlighting job!)

After hair and makeup-where they put me in blue eyeshadow and pinned my wild dread lock like curls into a french twist-we did our first shot. Me, drying dishes at the sink and hollering for my son Paul.

2nd shot was Paul on the couch listening to his Ipod with the help wanted paper over his head. 

Next shot was me removing the paper from Paul and his non caring responses to me asking him how his job search was going.

Then the camera shot me from Paul's angle. Oh, I'm sure that will be lovely. Nagging him to get a job.

The actor playing Paul was a really fun and cute guy named Arron. I, of course am truly to young to be playing his mother-as he is 28! (Doubt me if you must but I did the math. Nope. Couldn't have a 28 year old!) However, he's playing a 21 year old- so yes, I could have one of those but still I would have been VERY young!

The shot that took the longest was our embrace-supposedly at the end of the day when I-the worried, hoovering mother-had been looking for him all day. (Come on people! He's 21! My seventeen year old is gone all day and I don't rush to embrace her at the end of the day but....that's show business!)

So they did one wide shot from my back side. (Thank goodness not wide enough to include by lower backside!) and then a shot from my side of the embrace and then one from him. This took over an hour and about thirty takes and about fifty embraces. At one point Arron apologized as the takes on his side were numbering the double digits. "No worries," I said. "I recently adopted an eleven year old from an orphanage and I spend hours hugging all the time!" (In defense of Arron and his acting abilities-he's job was much harder than mine. He's been turned into a vampire now and he hugs his mother, then gets the urge to bite her and then controls the urge and just squeezes her tight. Thank goodness!) Why the hoovering mother that I'm playing doesn't notice his bite punctures on his neck, his pale white skin or at the least his new grown fangs is beyond me!

One more shot of me on the phone, calling around looking for Paul. (A scene the director made up on the spot!) and then I was done.

I rushed home, got Austin from school as he stayed late for driving range. Dropped his friends off-as I didn't want extra kids at my house with my meeting that night-and then got home to turn around and pick up Dev from school who had dress rehearsals for tomorrows talent show.

Got home, Alex was already at  birthday party, I got Ry off to dance, returned work emails and calls. Set up some showing,. heated up left overs for those at home for dinner, attempted to finish laundry-or at least have it out of sight, give my main bathroom a "spit and a promise" (my moms saying for a crappy yet surface looking cleaning job) before for my meeting, banished my kids to different floors and realized I STILL HAD MY BLUE EYE SHADOW ON and my hair in this polygamist style french twist. Oh my!

Hurried upstairs and tried to switch out my eyeshadow to something more contemporary and throw my hair in a pony, rushed downstairs and was sweeping my floor when the first guest arrived. Whew!
During my meeting Alex arrived home, Rylee took her bath, Kam arrived home, Kam and Dev left for regional basketball game and Austin had Hayden over. Jazmine never got picked up-unannounced to me amongst all the chaos in my  house-so when my guests left around ten I had to break up the co-mingling, get Alex and Rylee to bed-who thoroughly enjoyed watching movies with the other kids until way past their bedtime, and herd everyone to bed, off the computer and lock up!
When I walked into the bathroom I looked a sight-fluffy hair that I'd pulled out of the french twist and put back in a pony, tired red eyes and way too much makeup-the blue seeping up from under my quick fix-was still there! 

I indeed looked like a vampire's mother!
Here's a picture of me on set:

My Vampire Son, Paul!

And just in case you want to know where we were at last year at this time, here's a link to our 2nd Day in Ukraine.
http://blessedwitharichhart.blogspot.com/2009/03/our-first-full-day.html

New families seeking new adventures!

Tonight we had a meeting with the 2009 families that hosted Ukraine orphans last fall. To hear their stories of inspiration, frustration, paper work nightmares....oh it all came rushing back. I remember just over a year ago, walking through my life here but having part of my heart walking around in Ukraine. Wanting so badly to bring Alex home, praying he was safe, wondering what he was doing, and hoping he still wanted to be part of our family. Listening to these parents just brought back all those feelings.

Wow.

People, when hearing we've adopted want to know why? What lead us to adopt? Why when we already have four? And an older child? Our story is too long to tell and to sacred to share with just anyone. Adoption isn't for everyone. It's not a fad, (Once, I had a well meaning family member compare me to celebrities that are adopting-like I was just doing the popular/chic thing. Grr....that didn't sit well with me. We didn't adopt to be like Madonna or Brad and Angela!) it's not easy, and it's not for the faint of heart. If it's right for you, only you will know. 

I knew. I knew and I couldn't deny the feelings I felt. When the first whisperings of the spirit came to me, I tried pushing it away, I was sure I was crazy. Then as quickly as my prompting came I also had a quick glimpse of how horrid I would feel standing in front of this person-this person I knew and loved before-in the next life and the sorrow I would feel telling him, I'm sorry. I didn't look for him. I was too scared. I didn't know what to do. I didn't have the money or the time. It was a fleeting moment-this sorrow I felt-but I think the Lord knew I would struggle with doubt. That I needed this reminder about a promise made before this life. 

I also think the Lord works in mysterious and wondrous ways. If you had told me two years ago that I would travel half way around the world, live for six weeks in a foreign country, come up with almost as much money as our first house and figure out the hoops and endless paperwork involved in completing a international adoption. I would have asked you what you were smoking!?

But mountains can move. Tonight a family shared with me their mountain that the Lord moved for them. It's not my story to tell but trust me, this was a BIG mountain. Our Lord is incredible and he loves and knows these children. Just as He knows and loves us. 

Do I have any advice for these parents, facing the unknown, throwing their hat in the ring, taking on this quest to love, save and change the life of a child?

Hang on! Keep your hands inside-preferable in the praying position-do not let go, do not give up hope, stay seated and just hold on!

It WILL be bumpy, it WILL be scary and getting them home just changes you to a different track on the roller coaster with different bumps, turns and loop to loops.
The secret, a wonderful and famous man once said is:

"The trick is to enjoy the ride!"

And just in case you want to follow along as I retrace our adventure, here's where we were last year at this time:

http://blessedwitharichhart.blogspot.com/2009/03/we-made-it.html

Austin @ Spring Fling!

Kambree's Blog

Hey! Please check out my cute daughters blog!

http://kambreerichhart.blogspot.com/
I've convinced her to start a blog so I can stalk her when she goes away to school. Her first post was pretty cute-amazing to think this blog may capture the most important decisions and times of her life. 

So drop over and say hi, she could use a comment of support!

Thanks tons!

W

Oh my....

One year ago today we left for Ukraine.
One year.
Oh my, it seems like yesterday and yet it seems like Alex has always been ours.
How can that be?
I've decided to follow my blog one day at time from last year and relive our experience. I remember being so very excited and nervous.

I wish I could have had a video of mine and Alex's talk after school yesterday. It was about the maturation program. Devree had asked how the maturation program went to both Rylee and Alex as they came in from school. Rylee proceeded to answer but Alex walked off, following me into my office. I said,

Alex, Devree asked how the maturation program went.

I not talk her about it!

Why?

(Shrug)

Were you embarrassed?

Yes.

Oh, honey. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. 

In utter disgust & bewilderment Alex looks at me.

Mom you know penis?

Umm...yes?

You know penis get hard?

Umm....yes.....

You know why?

Uhh...why don't you tell me?

Excited!

The contempt and bewilderment is what is not coming across in this post. His eyes are as big as saucers and he's just appalled!

Didn't you know that?

No!

Well, good then you learned something today.

Then he proceeds,

And we learn about girls. Girls have....umm......

Girls have?

You know. Boys have penis girl have........

He's using both hand gesturing towards his lap and he's just not finding the word. I'm not sure what word he's looking for. And not wanting to introduce any new words and have to make further explanation at this point to add to the confusion I went with:

Oh, you learned about girls private parts?

Yes! 

 (Huge shudder and grimace on his part.)

Then he moved on to another subject and we didn't mention it again.

I was so proud of myself. I didn't crack. I laughed later when he left to go build a fort with Brach. And I laughed again with my friend at the gym this morning. The look. I wish I had the look of bewilderment and disgust and exasperation and this post just doesn't do the story justice! 

Oh my.

So, Brach and Alex are building a fort. First it was digging a hole in the field behind Kam's house. A hole that they were going to put a TV in and have tunnels connecting it to other holes. (Who's TV? No idea. How were they going to power it? Again no idea. But they're out there digging a hole and moving about an inch or two of dirt a day so Kam and I figured....why stop them?) Now it's going to be a wood fort out of the old wood from our makeshift stairs that we took out to have out deck installed. Alex is attempting to haul it over in the wagon. This I believe will be an all summer project.

Alex had a sliver in his hand last night from the wood and tried to tell me it was just dirt. I made him get me a needle. He said, 'You no hurt me Mom." I won't. And I didn't. He was so impressed and had to admit when I pulled it out that it wasn't just dirt!

I've been working on helping Alex identify feelings. Sunday morning he got up and made German pancakes for the family.(Yes, all on his own. He helped Rylee make them one morning and so he knew where to find the recipe and he's all about "If Rylee can do it, so can I!" ) He also straightened up the family room. You could tell he was quite proud of himself and I thanked him profusely for both tasks. He came in after wards and wrapped his arms around me and said "Mom I loves you sooo much!" This sort of came out of no where. I told him I loved him too and asked why he thinks he loves me sooo much?

Because I make breakfast and clean up living room!
I realized later that what he felt WAS love. The good feeling you get when you serve those around you. Later that night we talked about showing love through service and feeling good about serving. I think he was just bursting with joy from his service and only had the words I love you to explain that wonderful, happy feeling inside him.

He also came home last week and told me-that a voice but not a voice told him him in his head:

"Alex, don't forget your Spotlight*." 

(He's saying this in a theatrical spooky voice.)

*Spotlight is the book report form I had asked him to get because he set his first one on the counter in something sticky.

I told him that was probably the Holy Ghost reminding him to get his homework. 

Then he told me once the voice also said

"Alex don't forget basketball."

That's great I said. You are listening to the Holy Ghost.Those are promptings. It's great that you are listening and understanding. The Holy Ghost can help you make decisions and keep you safe but you have to learn to hear his voice.

Later that night in his journal he wrote:

I like when voices in my head speak to me.

Oh dear.

That's sounds a little disturbed.

We talked about how crazy people hear voice too. Voices that say bad things or tell them to do bad things. Maybe we should clarify what he means by voices? And on his own he wrote:

I like it when the Holy Ghost speak to me.

Whew!

That sounds so much better!

Oh my, who would have guessed a year later we'd be here learning about maturation, building forts and feeling the spirit? It makes me excited for the next year!

International Language of Cars....

What's with boys and cars? It's an international language with boys, one that can bridge all communication. Alex LOVES cars. The first word I ever heard him say was "Honda". This was when he saw our van in the airport parking lot when we picked him up for the hosting program. To which Austin replied "You might know Honda but I'm going to teach you Zonda!" (Austin's all time favorite car is a Zonda Roadster!")

For the longest time once we got Alex home he would ask me what the "two flag" car was called. I, not being a car person (I can tell you the color-maybe what the bumper sticker said-and if I can see inside I can remember if it was clean or dirty or what the drivers hair looked like but make and model? Heck no!) had no idea what he was talking about. For the longest time he couldn't seem to find a "two flag" car to show me. Finally  he found one-it was a Corvette! (Whew! Even I know a Corvette and could help him out with that info!)
Well, today we saw this car-or one very similar-coming home from school. And the back seat of my car erupts with enthusiasm. (Alex, Brach & Tyler were in the back.)
Alex starts cat calling....

"Oh baby!Yeah! Whoohoo!"

He's tapping the window trying to get the attention of the driver.

He exclaims:
"A MILLION time nice!!"

After the noise level dies down and the car gets out of sight, 

Rylee-sitting in the front seat-informs they boys that her first car is going to be a blue Camaro. It's going to blue with a white stripe and she's going to spray paint her hand blue on it. (I'm shaking my head in disbelief.) Then she clarifies,
"The first car I buy."
I tell her,
"I hope you're going to have a lot of money."
Rylee says
"Oh, I am. I'm going to have a lot of money. I'm like that."

Alex tells with a little disgust and disbelief and A LOT of authority tells her,

"No, you imagination!"

At least he has a grip on reality....right?

Maturation!

So, I should be cleaning my house, working, figuring out something for dinner, or planning how to get through Thursday (I only have about a million things stacked on this day-one of them being my film shot-yes, I was cast as the vampires mother!) but instead I sit here blogging because this was just way too funny not to share.

So, about two weeks ago I got a letter IN the mail about Alex's upcoming maturation program at school. I looked at the calendar, noticed James would be away at work and checked the box yes, my child will attend and yes, I will be there and sent it back with Alex. 

Last week I got a note home for Rylee that the school has decided to invited the 4th grade girls as well. Boys and girls meet separately but unfortunately the 5th grade boys meet at the SAME time as the 4th and 5th grade girls. (4th grade boys are off the hook until next year!)  Hum....what do do. I really feel like I should be there with Alex as I don't know how much he'll understand and he might need some translating-mommy style AND I really feel like I should be there with Rylee because she is so very sensitive and I knew most everyone else would have their mom's there. 

I decided I'd just split my time between the two. 

Beforehand I thought I better make sure Rylee was clear on just what we were going to be learning about. I knew she knew the basics as living with older sisters even Austin knows the basics and since we out number the guys here we're often reminded-by Austin-that "I AM STILL IN THE ROOM!" when we talk about our cycles, need for chocolate or who's bathroom is out of  T's.

So Rylee couldn't help but know at least SOME of the mysteries of womanhood. But just to be safe I sat her down and gave her an overview. Yep, she knew it pretty much.

Now maturation has been the talk of the school. Apparently there has been a petition going around-drawn up by some boys-that attending maturation constitutes as abuse? What the heck? However, I'm sure Alex would sign, not because he thinks it's abuse or even knows what maturation is but because he loves to sign his name in cursive. I don't know whatever happened with this petition but it didn't cancel the maturation class.

So last night-while I'm talking with James on the phone-Rylee comes in and  in an attempt to stall her bedtime she asks me why I'm not having anymore babies. "Is it because my eggs are all gone?"

"What? Rylee? I am not talking to you about my eggs right now. It's way past your bedtime. Goodnight."

On the way out is dawns on her. 

"Oh, never mind. You still have your eggs because you still have that (.)"

Thanks Ry. I'm glad you figured that one out.

So, this morning I tell the kids, I'll see you at nine for the maturation program. 

Alex asks, "Mom, what maturation?"

"Oh it's just a little class on how your body works and what happens to you when you grow up."

Alex shrugs. No big deal. Or so he thinks.

Rylee rolls her eyes. She's not looking forward to this.

I start out with Alex. He's sitting next to Brach and Kammy and I are on either side of the boys. The movie comes on and talks about showering and wearing deodorant each day. I nudge Alex. He looks at me with a "this has got to be a conspiracy" roll of his eyes. Then the movie shows the male anatomy. Alex's eyes open wide, he looks at me, he looks back at the screen, then back at me and whispers loudly "Mom, this weird!" Brach at this point has his head in his hands and his elbows on his knee's. He refuses to look up. I look at Kammy. Bad decision, we both purse our lips, look forward and try not to look at each other again as we know we'll burst in to giggles over the heads of our appalled and grimacing little boys.

Alex tells me again, "Mom, this weird!" when they show what the male anatomy does when blood flows to it. Brach has still never looked up at the screen.

It's time for me leave.

I give Alex a quick squeeze and slip out to go with Rylee.

Her movie is in full swing and she has saved me a seat.

"So what do you think so far?" 

"This is weird!" 

Hum...that's the same thing Alex said.

At one point Rylee asks me if she can have chocolate when she begins this process. Funny, that's not something they talk about in the movie. But apparently a perk or at least Rylee has interrupted it as one

There were NO questions after the film. Silence. Dead silence. The girls were excused. There was a quick parent meeting. Kammy came in  and sat with me and Amy. I asked how it went with the boys after I left and she said they talked a little about girls and what they go through and Brach put his fingers in his ears and his head between his legs and Alex covered his eyes.

We laughed. Finally we could. Too funny. 

Maturation. 

What a way to start your day!

Too True Tuesday

Hum....the Too True Tuesday Topic this week is things we indulge in.
That's tricky. 

You all know I'm cheap, right? I mean I did that post on how we try to save money and I even proudly displayed my coupon success at the grocery -complete with pictures-so admitting I have indulgences is sort of hypocritical but since it's time for the truth....

I have certain name brand products I buy that I don't care what they cost, they're the best.

Crisco Shortening

Skippy or Jiff Peanut Butter

 Surf or Tide Laundry degergent

 Clorox Bleach

Professional shampoo and conditioner\

and

GOOD hairspray (like the $12 can of  Big Hair)

The rest, I can go generic on. Who cares? My friend Lori's son did a science experiement on if cookies prepared with all generic ingredients taste different/worse than those prepared with name brand ingredients and the results were the generic verison actually got MORE votes. (Which doesn't validate my need for Crisco but that's okay.)

But I don't really consider these few name brand products indulgences. Necessities, actually.

Some personal indulgences I would never go with out are:
COLORING MY HAIR

I tried it. Tried to imagine my silvery roots were actually highlights. I know it's chemicals and dye-can't possible be good for you-I mean for goodness sake they're now recommending not coloring your hair during your first trimester of pregnancy so certainly this is something I should avoid and go green etc. But I couldn't stand it!! Yuck. My hair looked dirty and old and just (insert shudder right here!). I'm a brunette darn it! You blonds out there just don't understand. A few silvery/gray hairs in your head don't stand out like a neon beacon saying "Look at me, I'm getting old!!!" We poor brunette's notice EVERY SINGE ONE!

HEATED SEATS

I know, what a baby. But I LOVE my heated seats. I worry that I'll wear the drivers side out. I don't think I turn it off October-March. I also LOVE my automatic start in my car. Perhaps it's because I have an early am-as in it's still dark and none of my neighbors lights are on in their homes early- gym person and I start my car-with the garage door open of course-while I fill my water bottle, tie my shoes and then (yawn) leave to get my girlfriend for the gym. (The important thing to note here is that I am leaving to GET my girlfriend-going on my own? Not an option. I need peer pressure to get me out of my bed at this time each morning!) If it's not my turn to drive my friends car is usually adequately warm before they pick me up and they each (I rotate between to fabulous friends MWF & TTH) have heated seats too! Yes, heated seats, auto starts.....defiantly indulgences!

400+ THREAD COUNT SHEETS

Another indulgence. I grew up knowing that you just didn't buy under 200 thread count but my first pair of 400 count....oh, my, yummy!
ELECTRIC BLANKET
Okay, maybe something is wrong with my internal temperature but between my heated seats and my electric blanket on my bed I don't know which one I could give up. Especially when James is gone. I just crank that blanket to high before I get in bed and have toasty warm blankets.....oh, la, la! I have electric blankets on everyone's bed as I think it's that necessary. But I don't know that anyone uses their blanket like I do. I know for a fact James NEVER uses his side. Which is fine, when my side wears out, I'll just flip the blanket over and use his! See? I'm still frugal....right?

Anyone else want to play along? Come on, what are YOUR indulgences!?

Memory Monday

So, I had my lovely mammogram and it just happened to be at the same office building as my children's pediatrician. On the way in from the parking garage I snapped this picture as every time I see it, it always makes me smile.

You see, when Kambree (my senior in high school) was a little lass, she asked me,
"Mom does this mean no woofs allowed?"
Well....it DOES look like a wolf....don't you think?

Devree's team WON the championship!!!

It's important to have fun, be a good sport, improve
BUT
VICTORY IS SWEET!!!
Whootwhoo!!

Alex Update...

Getting a tie lesson from Dad.

(Cute picture hu?)

Pack Meeting

Alex receives his Arrow of Light

With Brach on the bridge

And although this is not a flattering picture, I needed to document the war paint on MY cheek because of the hugs I got from Alex while his war paint was still wet!

It's been awhile since an Alex update.

He's doing very well.
Yes, still have a few issues. This morning it was chewing with his mouth open....again.
He has terrible dining habits, he eats like a toddler with a fist around his fork, shoving in bites as fast as he can, pushing the food with the fork to the edge of his plate and then slurping it off and he has no idea how to use a knife and fork.
That's okay. One step at a time.
It's the chewing with his mouth open that I can't handle. I don't know, I just can't stand to see it or hear it. Not just from Alex but from EVERYONE!! I just hate it. (That and that sound people make when the smack their lips together or make yummy moist sounds with their tongue against the top of their mouth?) Yuck.
So....today.....again.
Me: Alex how long have you been here?
Alex: Ten months
Me: And how many times have I asked you to chew with your mouth closed?
Alex: Once a month. No, once a day.
Me: Let's just say I've asked you twenty times a month. Times 10. That's 200 times. Right?
Alex: Yes.
(Insert sigh of exasperation on my part)
In addition to this Alex took strawberries from the fridge. Strawberries I was saving to make jam. I asked if he knew he wasn't suppose to have them.
Yes.
Okay, so you can write a page on why you ate the strawberries and why you can't chew with you mouth closed.
Eyes water a little. Writing. A cruel form of punishment.
Me: Alex what would you do if you had a little boy that just kept eating food that he knew he wasn't suppose to?
Alex: Ground him.
Me: But what if your little boy was very use to going without things like video games and bikes. Grounding him wasn't a big deal because he'd spent ten years of his life with nothing so a week of going without something wasn't a big deal.
Alex: (Silence-you can tell that he's thinking "Oh, crap. She figured me out!")
So that's why I've decided that your consequence from now on is going to be working or writing because you know I don't believe in spanking and whippings right?
Alex: Right.
He begins to write but not happily.
Then I start thinking out loud.
Hum, maybe I'm asking you to do the impossible. Maybe your tonsils are just to big. (He has gigantic tonsils!) Maybe they're so big that you cannot breath while you're chewing and you have to open your mouth while you chew. I know you can hardly sleep with your mouth closed. Do you have troubles breathing while you're chewing?
Alex: (Hide's his eyes. Visibly shaken. And shakes his head.)
Me: Honey what's wrong?
Alex: I no want surgery.
Me: I'm not saying you need surgery. The doctor decides that but maybe we need to have you looked out to see if there is a problem.
Alex: (Starts crying) What if something go wrong?
Me: Oh, sweetie don't cry. Nothing will go wrong and Mom and Dad won't let you have a surgery unless it's going to make your life better.
He stops crying and stares at his paper. I proceed to the shower with a threat that he'll write more if his page isn't done when I get out.
I have him go with me to drop Devree to her game.
We drop Dev off and he reads me his paper.
I touk (took) strabery's and I didno't asket. I don't want to bet (get) my tnsels (tonsils) out because I never hav (have had) sojare (surgery) before. Mom you shude (should) pot (put) saen (sign) that say do not eat the stabery's I am saven them for samthing if you pot the saing (saying?) I wood aderstant (understand) and mom I am so sorry I tock youre strabery and did not asket for youre promishen (permission). I am realy sorry and thank you for averething (everything) you did for me.
Pretty sweet and smart huh?
We had a talk about how I hated living with room mates and labeling all my food in college and how he had to hide and defend all his belongings in the orphanage and how our home shouldn't be like that. He knew the strawberries were for something special and chances are-if he had asked I would have let him have one or two but because he KNEW and he didn't ask, that was like stealing. We talked about trust and why he needed to go the game with me because I cannot trust him home alone.
He agreed this was a good idea. H knows he has to earn our trust at this point.
We talked about how if he doesn't learn how to chew with his mouth closed how embarrassed he might be when he goes on a date, or when he grows up and invents something wonderful and is invited to an awards dinner on his behalf. That people make judgments about others based on their manners and that I know he had a rough start but I want his life here to be the best it can be. We talked about how I had to teach all the other children the very same manners but they were much younger. That I know it's hard to learn all this stuff at eleven but I have to make up for all the time I missed.
We talked about the little boy I went to school with that was dirty and neglected and had terrible manners and how I don't want anyone to ever thing that Alex is not loved and cared for. Ever.
The talk went FABULOUS!
And tonight, he was consciously trying to chew with his mouth closed!
Hallelujah!
During the game one of the mom's I sat by said something about her "orphan" daughter. (This daughter has spent quite a lot of time at our home lately.) Alex, perked up.
"Orphan?"
That was a fun explanation for Alex and I had to explain to this mom where Alex came from.
On the way home, I went into it a little more detail, explaining that sometimes people refer to their children as orphans when they're dirty or uncared for because in general, most orphans are that way. I used the word adopted at some point and he said,
"Remember mom, I not adopted. Just sealed!"
"Yes, that's right but how do we explain where you came from?"
Devree suggested we just say Alex is from Ukraine.
Very tricky this no using the word adopted. I guess I'll just say imported.
On a funnier note, Alex has this groovy way of walking and bobbing up and down that he showed us today. It's very funky. I asked him why he walks like that and with a very cocky attitude he tells me
"Cause I'm Alex Richhart Benjamin" with his name all in disorder.
Too funny.
Despite the food issues, the chewing issues, the adopting issues, he's just a funny little boy that loves to make us laugh. And laugh we do!!

Glory Be And The Saints Be Praised!

That's a line from "Music Man". I played Maud (one of the trickling fountain ladies) about eleven summers ago. This line has always stuck with me and we've had so much good news lately that I thought it very appropriate for my blog title today!
1st off: Kambree was selected out of hundreds for a finalist interview for the Ambassador scholarship at Snow. She made her appointment to go down for the interview but then found out that she cannot be on the drill team AND be an ambassador. I asked her what she wanted most. To dance. Then there's your answer, call them back and politely decline the invitation. Which she did. So the good news was that she was selected as a finalist, not so good she can't participate but even better, we're done with scholarships applications and interviews! (Now she just has to focus on making the money for the rest of tuition, books and housing!)
#2 The school called and has agreed to test Alex! They're going to test him in three area's speech, social/behavior and intellectual/cogitative. This is based on the last batch of papers (including Amy's findings) and documents I sent! I found his translated medical records in our pile of adoption paper work that I tossed in a folder and never looked at. In it it said he had a class III speech disorder requiring medical, social, and educational follow up. Apparently the school needed some sort of documentation to do testing as they cannot assume that all new language learners have learning disability's-that would be discrimination. Lot's of bureaucracy in this area of schooling. Whatever. I'm just glad they're going to test him and with any luck he'll get more one on one or special needs help IN school.
#3 Even better than that my good friend and client (also with the fabulous name of Wendy) suggested Alex get some tutoring through her workplace. Only problem is, it's very expensive. My sweet friend talked to her boss and there may be a grant available for Alex as he's so new to the country? I'm so excited! I'm going to contact her boss today and see what we need to do. If the school testing doesn't come through, then I'll make arrangements to pull him out of school and have him tutored DURING school as opposed to more time out of school. If the testing does qualify him for more help in school then I'll just arrange for tutoring outside of school. And hopefully this will be something we can continue with through the summer! Oh, I feel such relief. When talking with the principal he told me I was a good advocate for Alex. Pesky Mother Bear is probably a more appropriate title but I'll take what I can get!
#4 My good friends son, Karen just got his mission call to England! What a great place! You get to go foreign WITHOUT learning a new language! (A new dialect, yes. But girls love English accents! What a bonus.) We love the Burton's. Kambree and Mathew have known each other since they were two and three. We lived next door to them in West Jordan. We're so happy for Matthew and the decision he's made to go on a mission! (Karen-I know you read my blog faithfully-you are a fabulous mother and friend! Congrats! You can do this!)
#5 Spring is coming! My pussy-willow tree is budding, my daffodils are starting to come up and our one year anniversary of going to Ukraine and getting Alex is rapidly approaching. Friends of ours are leaving Saturday to get their second daughter from Ukraine. I can't wait to watch their journey. She promised to blog lots-you can follow her on my side bar-Drew & Jen Benson. They adopted Anastassia last summer but her older sister Masha (I think she'll be going by Maria?) didn't have her paperwork filed properly in Ukraine and they have all had to wait to bring her home. It's been a long road. I'm sure they'll be so excited to unite this two sisters and complete their family. Please include them in your prayers.
Well, I'm off for a not so great appointment-my first-a mammogram. Boo. It's hard enough watching your babies grow up, go on dates, off to college and on missions but do I have to get my chest squashed too? Grrr.....
(Sorry if I've offended any of my male readers. I think it's only Andreas so I guess I should just apologize to him? If there are any more male readers-my apologies to you as well!)
Have a glorious day!