Carving Pumpkins

Day One: Cleaning The Pumpkins

Devree's participation

Alex found it "refreshing" to put his face in the pumpkin "guts".

He also tried to put the pumpkin on his head.

Day Two: The carving

Three years ago, Alex carved his first pumpkin during the hosting program.
He had looked through ALL of my scrapbooks and wanted to recreate a pumpkin we did the year prior. Not knowing what he was doing he messed it up and then proceeded to cry. James tried to help him fix it. (I thought I had blogged about it but I guess I didn't? Which I can't believe. But then, it was right around then when we were deciding about adopting Alex and our lives were crazy.)
However, his first Halloween was so funny. He couldn't say "trick or treat" so he ran - as in sprinted - from door to door saying "chicken-chicken". I'm sure he was in 7th heaven - getting candy at every house.  James had to get on his bike to keep up with him. At one point he tripped and fell down flat on his face - he jumped right back up and kept going. He came home with sweat streaming down his face. I can picture his cute sweating face in my minds eye but I didn't take a picture. But here is Rylee and Alex before leaving for trick or treating three years ago.

 

And since we're walking down memory lane - here's a couple of shots of my little guy on Halloween three years ago:

Look how little he was?

Last Halloween Parade!

Thursday was an end of an era for me.

Since Kambree was little, I've dressed up and told stories for my children's class Halloween parties. Fourteen years now - I think I've only missed two years.
Each year my costume is different. Some years are better than others. I don't like traditional - I always try to spice it up a bit. I've worn pink hair, a poke-a-dot face, my old home coming dress, I even shoved a blue pompom up under my hat one year and had blue pompom hair. My most creative year was the year I was pregnant with Rylee and came as the pregnant bride of Frankenstein but most the time I am some version of a witch. I really just rummage through my costume box and try to come up with something a little different each time.
My biggest stress is finding the right story. Something Halloween-y but not to scary or morbid. (And that is hard to do....trust me!) Regardless of my new story, I always end with my traditional "Blood Bones & Dirty Diapers" story and it always makes the kids groan and laugh. (Scary with a silly ending.)
This year I had at least 5 kids and a couple mom's ask if I was going to tell stories again - when I nodded in the affirmative - I got a squeal, a "cool" and a "your the best story teller" from the kids. Warmed my heart.
I don't know that I'm the BEST story teller but I do do voices. They're not always consistent. Sometimes my English accent starts sounding a little Irish and my Bronx brogue merges into an Italian immigrant but kids are very forgiving and/or don't seem to notice. (I also have a FABULOUS Russian accent - thanks to the in home tutoring and Ukraine experience we have these past few years.)
But, this is my last year.

My baby is in 6th grade and it would be so not cool to have your mom dress as a witch and come tell stories in Junior High.

So, I guess I'll be hanging up my witch hat.
Until.....I have grand babies!

Here is this years outfit - my make-up's not the best because Ry's hair took way more time than I anticipated and I just had to hurry!

Yes. That is a REAL frog person - thanks to Amy. Her parents brought it to her from the Philippines. (It even has a zipper on the underside and you can actually carry a lipstick or a pack of gum in it. But not a cell phone. I tried.)

James won't miss it. He really doesn't find my witch outfits too appealing. He tries to be supportive of my crazy need to dress up and act silly but he doesn't get it. 

He especially didn't like the wart this year.

Rylee was Medusa!

Her hair was the bomb!

TWELVE snakes were intertwined in multiple buns. (Hence the reason we were running so late!)

Why in the world we had the parade on the 27th when Halloween isn't until tomorrow is beyond me. But it's done. 

Perhaps the reason I like being a witch so much is because my mother use to call me "Wendy The Witch That Washes Her Hair In The Waters of Whohoo."? No idea where that came from. I'm not sure she even knows. 

But for whatever twisted, crazy, psychotic reason I like to dress as a witch - I will miss it. 

Three years ago??

Was it really just three years ago October 18th that we met Alex for the first time?
My, it seems like yesterday and in the next breath it seems like he's always been here.
How can that be?
He is so much a part of us now that it seems he's always been here yet, we have "Want to know what I did for free time in the orphanage?" or  "In Ukraine...." stories that make me stop and realize he hasn't always been here. That his past is still apart of him and always will be.
We were having a family discussion about a situation where a learning disabled foster child was being treated unkindly by his foster families younger child and - as normal - there are three conversations going on at one time over the dinner table. James is talking to me about how having this child in the home will help this younger boy have more empathy for disabled people and in the long run it will help him grow and be good for him. Alex blurted out very adamantly,   "I got hit with sticks at the orphanage and it never helped me!" (He and Rylee were talking about this boy being poked by the younger boy with a stick and assumed James was saying getting poked with a stick is good for you and will help you grow?) Yep. There it is. His past. It's not something I want him to suppress or deny yet it's like a cold splash of water to the face when it comes out of nowhere.

Lately, Alex has had a rough time.

Here is just a quick list of where he stands with privileges: 

#1 No unsupervised computer time (Thanks to him downloading numerous songs and bogging down the Mac, placing a bid and buying a broken iTouch on eBay - without permission and printing off a 66 page report to take to scouts on Ukraine -when a paragraph was requested.)

#2 No X-box for a month. (For playing without homework/jobs completed and without permission.)

#3 No iTouch (For remotely wiping out my iPhone information - permanently - from his iTouch.)

#4 No using James tools without permission (for not putting them away properly at all and making a big mess)

#5 No asking girls out - until he's 16. (This was never a privilege - just something we addressed this week.)

He is also working on paying back the $56  to cover the cost of the broken screen, bad battery and water damaged iTouch he won on eBay.

Hard lessons to learn.

Almost as hard as the basics that he had to learn when he first got here.

Things like:

• Using SOAP and bathing daily.
• Wearing matching clothes
• Comb his hair and brush his teeth EVERYDAY (Just this Saturday we revisited this life skill as he was hired to help our neighbor paint his shed and he just didn't know why he needed to comb his hair and brush his teeth for this event.)
• Wearing clean underwear every time he baths
• Chew with his mouth closed
• Cut his meat with a knife

and so much more.
He has also learned how to be a family member. To think about others and respect their things and their privacy. He's has begrudging learned to talk about his feelings and express himself.  He sadly has had to learn he is not an only child - that he has to share this mom he waited so long for - something that is still a struggle.
He is learning to be a good friend, a good student, and a responsible citizen.

We have moments when I just let him be the little boy he missed being. If it's climbing in my lap and holding him, playing cars with the little boy on our church pew - who is three, having a bear of his own on his bed to cuddle (or throw behind his bed) or just running around and playing on a playground. Because for being thirteen there sure is a lot of age 5, 6, 7, 8 & 9 he missed.

 However, based on the years here?
He's doing great.
We're three now and hopefully done with our terrible two's!
Love to you all in you first months and years.
Hang in there.
Someday the talks, and object lessons will make sense.
The repetition will stop. They'll get it. 
Someday they'll be able to communicate and tell you how they feel.
And someday, they'll realize just how far you went and how hard you worked to get them to where they are now.

Love,
Wendy

Fall Hike

My Ry Pie

I am watching Rylee turn into a young woman right before my eyes.

She called me from school yesterday, she needed me to bring her forgotten lunch AND some dry shoes and socks. (She wore slipper type boots to school on a rainy day.) As she's talking to me she say's "Hold on." and then proceeds to recite the pledge of allegiance with her class while I am holding on the phone, then without missing a beat gets back on the phone to inquire about the shoe/lunch situation. 

It just made me smile to hear her cute voice recite the pledge and be respectful even though she was on a phone call. 

Last night she told me how her class is learning about the Titanic and how they are each drawing names to be an actual passenger. She got a first class person. She was asking a boy in her class -who drew a 2nd class passenger name - if he drew a girls name? Her teacher informed her that a first class passenger would never talk to a 2nd class passenger and Rylee turned to the boy and in a snotty British accent repeated the question, "Nick are you a girl?"  

She cracks me up.

I gave Rylee my old cell phone.
Technically it's Rylee and Alex's but I really need her to have it as she has rehearsals and is always on the go and none of her neighborhood friends have a cell phone. Alex on the other hand only hangs out with his cousin Brach who does have a cell phone. So, it will mostly be Ry's phone but I hold the contingency that Alex can use it when needed.

Anyway, she's started texting other friends with phones and has overnight become a texting queen. Yesterday on the way to dance we had a discussion about the dangers of texting and how you might write something in sarcasm or for fun but the other person cannot hear the tone of your voice and may not interpret it that way. That she must not loss the art of conversation and actually calling and talking to people.

We also talked about texting boys and set up a standard that the boy must text first and of course no texting after 9 pm. When I was little my mom's rule was the boy had to call, you couldn't call a boy. Never.  I think that's a pretty good rule.
Only mine is - no texting boys first!

Ohhh....my baby, where did you go?

Here she is after the make-up practice night.
She's playing a step-sister in WJ Children's Theaters production of Cinderella.

Somedays I Just Can't Believe It!

Last night was Alex's choir concert.

Yes, I took pictures and video but sadly, you will not be seeing any.

Why you ask?

Well, remember my new iPhone? 

Remember how Alex has his own iTouch? 

Well, last night right after the concert I needed to run and show a house. Alex - in all his technology wonder - showed Devree how he can FIND me on a map with his iTouch.  That' pretty cool, right? My new phone has a Find My Phone feature and because we all have the same Apple account, Alex found this app and showed Devree where I was. Neat, right?

No. 

Not so neat.

As I'm leaving the house, I notice my phone is back to the set up screen?

Weird.

I knew the battery was low - maybe I just need to plug it in?

Nope.

I came home to find this email. (My phone is not working at all. Receiving calls/emails/message. Nothing)

Remote wipe of Wendy Richhart’s iPhone has started.

The remote wipe you requested for Wendy Richhart’s iPhone started at 6:27 PM on October 18, 2011.

All media, data, and settings are being permanently erased from Wendy Richhart’s iPhone. This process cannot be stopped.

If you retrieve your iPhone after completing a remote wipe, restore it from a previous backup using iCloud or iTunes. If your iPhone has been lost or stolen, be sure to contact your carrier to suspend your wireless service.

Yes.
My son had WIPED out my phone. (A feature for if you lose your phone and don't want anyone to see your information.)

What a nightmare.

He just pushed a button that he didn't know what it did and POW! Contacts, calendar, pictures, videos, reminders, apps, everything GONE!

I am so proud of myself for not yelling - but I was not happy. I showed him the email and sent him to bed. (It was bedtime anyway.)

It took me HOURS to fix it. HOURS. And I needed to write an offer and was expecting a text and didn't have my clients numbers because they were lost on my phone. 

Oh my gosh.

I almost started to cry.

(I am pretty sure Alex was crying already.)

He must have been praying because miraculously, I was able to get all my contacts back after an hour. Not sure how that happened and then another hour later, my calendar suddenly showed up. I lost all the pictures and video of Alex's concert, reminders and apps. 

It was very late before I got to bed.

This morning I called him down and had him show me what he had done. He already knew the severity of his actions - he was bleary eyed and sad.

I told him that I just can't have this happen. My work hinges on my phone. I don't know what to do. What does he think I should do?
He suggested that he shouldn't have an iTouch?
I agreed and took it from him.
As sad as he was, he never said,  "Sorry.".  I pointed this out and about ten minutes later when no one was around he asked me if I could look into his eyes. I leaned over the counter and looked right into his eyes and he's voice wavered as he told me "Mom, I am really, really sorry." 

((Sigh))

I plan on giving him his iTouch back in about a week with some rules and restrictions. 

By the way, he did really well at his concert. (Well, as well as a group of 7th grade boys can.)
I did receive some shocking news though. Apparently Alex ASKED OUT a girl! He asked Jackson Smith if she would "go out" with him? She explained that she cannot date until she is 16 so he then stuck out his hand to shake and said "Friends then?" - I got all this from Jackson's mom. 

Alex didn't know we were friends.

When he saw me talking with her - the look on his face was perplexed and he came up and insisted we leave quickly. We did and I casually asked him if he knew I was friends with Jackson's mom?

No.

I hear you asked her out?

Yes.

Where were you going to go?

((Shrug))

Have you asked out other girls?

No.

Then we proceed to have a big talk about girlfriends and dating on the way home.

I told him that I figured having a girlfriend at the orphanage was a big deal? Yes. That it meant you were older, mature - a big guy? Yes. I told him how I bet it was so important to have someone that cared about you - especially in an orphanage where you didn't have a family to do that? Yes. Then I explained that he is much too young to be dating and having girlfriends and that he does have a family to love him and take care of him. He agreed. We also talked about being the kind of guy that girls want to date and that PARENTS want their daughters to date - not the kind of guy that dates everyone and has girlfriend after girlfriend and starts dating at an early age. 

The talk went really well - I could tell he was pretty uncomfortable about it and really was ready to agree with just about everything I said. 

Sometimes I feel sorry for Alex. 

It's got to be hard to have a mom that eventually finds out everything. 

I think that reason alone will curtail him "asking out" any other girls. 

((Sigh))

Sometimes I feel like my life should be a sitcom.

"Tune in next week for the next adventure of Alex and his trusty side kick....Mom."