"Your Mom Goes To College"

It's official.

I'm enrolled and registered for classes.

Gulp.

I met with my "academic adviser" who tried to flatter me by saying.  "You couldn't possibly be returning to school after 22 years, you only look 22 years old."

Please.

Whatever.

Then he "thinks" I need another English class, a communications class and math.

MATH!
WHAT???

Oh, and since it's been 22 years, I need to take a math placement test.

Oh my stars!!

And pending how I test will determine if I need one, two or THREE math classes.

Shoot me now.
 He also estimates that I need about 10 more credit hours to get my associates.
(Why in the world didn't I at least get my associates way back when? Oh yeah. I got married and put my hubby through school.)
I had to get all my transcripts resent to be matriculated - again because they're so very old.
I decided to just take the one class to start and wait to hear what the "official" verdict is on what I truly need to take instead of Mr. Academic A's estimate.  

At one point in our conversation I explained I wasn't returning to school to change my career - I just want to get an education. I sell real estate and love it.

Then he proceed to tell me HOW TO SELL REAL ESTATE.

Real?

Mr. Academic Adviser? How many houses have you sold?
(I wanted to say that but I didn't. I just sat there politely nodding my head.)

Finally when he started telling me to knock on doors and get listings in a certain area, I could stand it no further.

"I've been selling real estate for almost 13 years. All my business is word of mouth. I don't cold call, knock doors or do much marketing. I've been blessed. I have all the business I need but thanks for your suggestions."
I do realize it's this guys JOB to advise people but please, I am not an 18 year old freshman. And isn't he an ACADEMIC adviser - not an "I know everything adviser"? 

In my defense I explained that most my clients I pick up by either a referral or they know me - for example I recently bought my bike and the cute girl I bought it from called me afterwards and is looking to buy a house next spring. That's the way I work.

Upon hearing about my bike purchase he asked if I'd be interested in buying his wife's Honda Shadow?

As in motorcycle?

I had to explain that my bike was a road bike with pedals.

Then he said, "Oh that explains why you have such.....strong legs." 

Oh gosh. 

Yuck.

I know he was just trying to be nice but seriously? The leg comment was a little awkward. 

I was glad it was while we were on the way OUT of his office.
(Note to self: Request a different Academic Adviser next time.) 

So....two months and one week from today - I start class.
Yikes. 

My Austin has class at the same time and we're going to carpool.

How cool is that?
Maybe not so cool for Austin......