Alex's 18th Birthday!

The night before Alex's birthday he asked me what time he was born? Luckily - thanks to Ivan - we have his hospital tag and I had it translated:

Berdo 

Anna Georgina, 

July 28, 

11 am

3.300 kg = 3300 grammes = 7 lb 4 oz
52 cm = 20 ½ in.
I think #79 is a number of the newborn in the hospital in the year.

That morning, on his official birthday, it started with this cheesy smile. 

He wasn't thrilled he had to work until 12:30

With me in my yoga clothes and his morning look:

Birthday Dinner:

Birthday Mom Snuggles:

Opening gifts:

Harper the helper!

We wrapped up his keys....

...because we had a "pipe" installed on his car:

So....my birthday surprise worked! X's wanted to put a "pipe" on his car and James had said, "No way - that's our car." Well? With a little persuasion from a very persuasive wife - I ordered the exact one he wanted (weeks ago) and made up a huge lie (thanks to my brother Jeff) that I got an extra part in a movie but I needed to bring a little red sports car AND he'd get $50 for it. My plan went off smooth like butter - even waiting for the 2.5 hour installation (However, he was HOME when I drove home and I was so afraid he'd hear it. But luckily for me my neighbors are out of town and so I backed it in their driveway.) I've been so excited all month and now I was down to hours and was ready to burst so I dragged him to the mall just to get away from the car and not spoil the surprise. We couldn't have hoped for a better reaction. James told him, "I said you couldn't modify the car - but I didn't say I couldn't!" Alex Richhart out there now adjusting it to make it even slightly louder - sorry in advice neighbors - I'm afraid we will all know when he's coming and going! ‪#‎lovethatgrin‬ ‪#‎donthateusneighbors‬

The blonde on the end? 

Kayla Durfey - Alex's 20 (most 21) year old girlfriend. 

(I know. Gulp. But she's a sweet girl.)  

He requested a peach cheesecake - made by Ry:

The next day Kayla took him to Olympic Park to ride rides and they just happened upon this Lamborghini car show. He was in heaven! 

(I had asked for ONE picture to document - and this is it! Which is now his phone screen saver - and when Kayla leaves to go back to college in August - in NEBRASKA - he'll probably be glad he has ONE picture?)

James forgot ON his birthday but two days later here he is in his "birth" shirt - or in Alex's case - the shirt James wore to court for his adoption.

(This is the two of them with their "Ukraine" smile.)

I'm adding this three months after his birthday - so no one really sees it? 

But this is what I text to Alex in the weeks leading up to his birthday. 

Someday, when I'm dead and gone and Alex is an old man - he MIGHT want to look at my blog and I want him to remember just how much he was loved and cherished! 

I know you've heard me take credit for a lot of the awesome characteristics you have. I mean you'll have to admit that I helped a lot with English, manners and personal hygiene but I'm not sure I've ever shared with you all the amazing and wonderful characteristics that you came with? That there is so much more to you than the molding and upbringing I've provided. 

So, in honor of this being your 18th birthday month. I'd like to share with you a few of the wonderful and endearing characteristics that you came with? If that's okay? 

The only credit I can take is that I hope I've helped cultivate and grow these talents, skills, abilities and character traits? And I hope you never lose them.  
I'll just send one each day - because I know how much you really don't like to read....

✔️Loyalty and Honor:

You've always been loyal to our family. I remember a girl taking Ry's seat at the first church meeting we had during the hosting program and you yelled at that little girl in Russian - obviously demanding that she give the seat back to Rylee. I don't know what you said but you definitely stood up for Ry. 

You've always stood besides your family and/or had their backs. 

I also remember accusing you of something that you didn't do when you were first home. (I don't remember exactly what.) But you told me you would never do that. You would never dishonor the Richhart name. 

Loyalty & honor. You came with that. 

✔️Protective: 

I'm pretty sure you were one of the warriors that must have escorted the devil out of heaven because you've always been such a protector.

You have a natural, inborn ability to protect those you love. It helps that you're strong and big but even when you were little you were very protective and you noticed things that other children would never notice. I remember you noticing the cross dresser at Wendy's having bruises and asking me with your broken English and our charades if her boyfriend hit her?

You've always looked out for Ry, I remember when her iPod was stolen from her locker and you were determined to stand outside her locker until the person came back. You were sure they would come back and that you would get them. You've also watch out for her when it comes to boys, I remember you telling me that Soren had a crush on her and me asking if Soren was a good guy? You said yes he's a good guy and I said good because I don't want her to get hurt and you said "Oh Rylee will not get hurt - I will hurt him him first!

I always feel safe knowing your watching out for Rylee. 

You've also been very protective of me. Remember when I had that bruise under my eye and you wondered if dad had hit me? You were ready to take on your dad in honor to protect and defend me.

And I'll never forget how defensive you were when I mentioned going to see your birth mother in Ukraine and I jokingly said I could take her. You found no humor in that and got very defensive telling me that you would never let her touch me. 

People feel safe around you - I feel safe around you - because you are so protective. That's something you came with. 

✔️Hard worker: So truth? you don't like to work - no one does -  but when you do, you are excellent at it. I remember you cleaning the family room before we had carpet down there and taking out the big area rug and beating it with a stick. When you clean out your room or your locker or your car you know how to do it and you do it right. 

Your Camero? Now that was hard work.

Learning English. A lot of hard work. 

Showing up on time and covering your shifts? That's work too. 

You've always had a very good work ethic when you put your mind to it. (Not so great when you're just trying to cut corners and get through it quickly…😉)

✔️Spiritual: 

I know you don't think that you are but you came that way. There was a time when I honestly thought the reason I had to adopt you was because you were going to be a future apostle or prophet?

Your humble & broken English prayers are some of the sweetest and most sincere prayers I have ever witnessed.

You felt things so deeply and the Spirit spoke so strongly to you. You would tell me all the time when you could feel the Spirit and when you couldn't. Pretty sure the Spirit is still there, it's you that has stepped away. But it will be there whenever you decide you want it back in your life. 

I need you to know that I KNOW the Spirit spoke to me and gave me the promptings to come find you and I know there is a bigger purpose for you coming and being a part of our family, more than just an opportunity for you to have a great future. 

I pray that someday you will want to embrace the spirituality that resides inside you and you will come to know how very powerful your spirit is and how powerful the priesthood can be. More powerful than your physical strength, more powerful than your stubbornness, and more powerful than your mother's determination & drama. 

However, spiritual gifts like physical traits and talents must be cultivated to grow. And when you haven't fed and nurtured it, it gets small and weak. Just like not working your muscles.  If you lay in bed for months at a time, you will have no muscle strength and be unable to walk. But with physical therapy and getting back to working your muscles, they will once again regain the same strength or more than  they had before. 

Your spirituality is still inside of you, waiting for you to bring it forth. And nothing that you've done in your past can prevent you from regaining that strength, power and more!

✔️Teachable: at first I was thinking humble? But, no that's the wrong word.(You bragged and complemented yourself when ever you could when you first came home. I believe it's because no one else ever did and it was a coping mechanism?) But what you were and still are is teachable. 

At first it was English. It was painful but you did it. Then it was learning how to be part of a family, learning to be honest & truthful, learning take baths, be responsible, be a gentleman etc. 

Yes. You don't like to be told your wrong - no one does - or learn from others but you do! You might need to take some time and think about it but you're very self correcting. Quick to admit you're wrong and try to adapt and learn. That's a very admiral trait. It's not easy to be critiqued and criticized but I think the fact that your teachable is the difference between you and some of the other adopted kids. Thank you for being teachable - it's a great trait that will take you far in life. 

✔️Chivalry - you came with gentleman manners. I was amazed. You'd carry all the bags in from the car. Grab a chair for grandma without even being asked. Once you could speak English I was struggling to fix my flat tire on my bike. You took over and told me "Mom, that's what sons are for!"  Oh, how I love this about you. In this day and age of equality it's such a refreshing thing to see a young man open doors, give up his seat and talk respectful to everyone he meets. I hope you never change - even though it might seem old fashioned or other guys don't do it - it makes you stand out and it makes me proud to be your mom. (Even though you came that way!) 

✔️Mechanically inclined: I knew this was a gift you possessed when we hosted you. In fact, when Dad was struggling to decide if adoption was right, I told him , "If you've ever wanted a son under the hood with you, this is your boy." Which isn't why he decided to adopt - but when ever I see the two of you under a hood I think to myself, "I was right!"

You've just always had a knack of understanding and figuring mechanical things out. 

I struggled with your collections of "resources" and drawers of what I considered junk? Remember how I use to find all those treasures at the bottom of washer?  But you're ability to analyze and figure out how things work - it's something that comes from within. I can take very little credit - except the monetary investment I made into cars, parts & my attempt to keep your clothes clean of oil & grease. I hope you'll always try to fix things and continue to learn how things work. It's such an amazing gift. 

✔️Technically inclined: need I say more? You knew how to work my phone better than I did and have always been my "go to" tech guy. It's almost as if you speak another language when you try to explain to me how you fixed a computer. My favorite tech memory was you spending the night sleeping by my computer trying to trouble shot it. I know you've taught yourself a lot of this - but it's a gift that God blessed you with - this ability to understand technical stuff.  

✔️Tender hearted: you've always been so sweet with little kids & animals. I know this is genuine because little kids love you! They're drawn to you because they know you're safe and would never hurt them in any way. And you're fun and play with them on their level. 

I've never worried about you being mean or unkind. It's says a lot about a man - how he treats those that are smaller, weaker and defenseless.

✔️ Sense of humor: 

You've always had a mischievous twinkle in your eye. Sort of a teasing twinkle? I love your mischievous grin. And it's so hard sometimes to tell if your teasing or for real!

I was told you were very funny in your native tongue. And I've always felt a little bad that maybe learning English hampered your ability to be funny? But I don't worry any more. 

I know for a long time your humor didn't translate  - and even now sometimes it flops? But we all flop sometimes. Your timing and wit improves everyday and you make me laugh out loud all the time. 

Disclaimer and mini generic "mom" lecture: dirty & disgusting is not funny. Sometimes guys your age forget that because crude jokes and nasty puns ALWAYS get a laugh or snicker  - but truthfully it's because it makes the atmosphere uncomfortable or people are shocked, embarrassed or repulsed and laughing is how they cover that up. Please don't mistake that for quality humor or being funny. If I could give you any advice as you transition to young adulthood it's too not resort to potty humor or sexual jokes - anyone can do that. It says a lot about a mans character to hold his tongue when a nasty joke will get a quick chuckle - but wait for a well timed & delivered joke that will get a sincere belly laugh! Okay. Lecture over. Back to the regularly scheduled birthday celebration text:    

Making me laugh Is no easy task - but you've been doing it for over seven years with your silly faces, dance moves, English confusion, and recently your perfectly timed come backs and witty observations. 

Your wit, funny faces, imitations and quick thinking Is something you had long before I came into your life and I'm so glad they're in my life now. 

✔️Artistic: 

Wow. Your ability to draw is amazing. I knew you had talent when you'd draw and send me pictures from the orphanage but your talent has greatly increased since then. I can't draw stick people - so I am beyond impressed and can't wait to see what you draw your senior year. 

And your musical talent? You didn't really come with that BUT it has improved and continues to improve daily! I'm so impressed you've taught yourself the guitar and ukulele and you just keep getting better and better! 

And your voice? Honestly you use to be a little tone deaf? But now it is so greatly improved. 

The first time I heard you belt a song in the shower, I knew you finally felt like you were home. That you felt at home enough to just sing your heart out. 

It still warms my heart every time I hear you sing in the shower. 🎤

✔️Physical abilities: 

You're so strong and fit. You told me once that you could play any sport you put your mind too. I don't doubt that. 

I think that's why I struggle when you choose not to play sports? Or play competitively. I would have given anything to have half of your physical abilities. I'm very competitive and love the feeling of being part of a team. Something bigger than myself. I wish that for you. The desire to use your exceptional physical abilities that God gave you to be apart of something great!

But lately, I've been thinking deep about your lack of sports enthusiasm? And I think it might  be that when most boys were finding what they love to play - you were just trying to survive? That although your amazing physical physique can conquer just about any sport - you don't have the desire because you never developed a love or need to compete like that? That just surviving was your sport and that is deeply ingrained in you? 

That's just me thinking out loud - but besides giving you proper nutrition, medical care and attempting to get you to sleep enough  - your physical body (and the many push-ups you do) is all to your credit. 

✔️Affectionate: 

Honestly you've taught me a lot about love and affection. You came ready to be loved!  

You were so snuggly as a little boy that it sometimes overwhelmed me. You needed to be touched, hugged, kissed, tickled and it was foreign for me? Don't get me wrong. I kissed & hug my other children but not to the extent that you craved. That you needed.

I've always thought your physical affection and sweetness stems from making up for lost time? Not having a mom for so long? And wanting one so much?

One of the sweetest things you ever said to me was "I wish I comes from your tummy." Oh, how that melted my heart. 

I often try to imagine you as a baby - my baby - and how much love and affection I could have showered you with. Because of you I am a much more cuddly mom that shows affection. 

As you've grown older, you've curbed that need of kissing & hugging your mom so much. I remember you talking to me and worrying about it when you noticed other guys your age weren't as affectionate with their moms. And I've watched you slowly pull away - which is normal but a little sad for me? To me you'll always be my little boy - no matter how big, hairy & manly you become. Moms just see their babies - as babies. In my heart you'll always be 10 - the age you were when you became mine. 

And I'll always be available for hugs & snuggles. You've trained me and softened me. This affection - you brought to the table.  It was always within you - you just didn't have anyone to share it with in Ukraine and I feel blessed to be the recipient of your sweet affection. 

That being said, this natural affection & cuddliness also translates over to the dating part of your life. It comes very easy and natural to you to snuggle and cuddle with girls. Holding hands, hugging, kissing & making out is almost a given - if you set your mind to it. What most guys sweat and stress about is 2nd nature for you. It's a talent but it can be a curse? Just be careful my cuddly son. Some day you'll be glad you saved your intimacy for the girl that saved hers for you. And that you're married and committed and can give yourself fully to someone that will never walk away, who will protect your heart and love you fully - forever. 

Trust:

Just because we couldn't trust you - at first - doesn't mean you weren't trusting. 

Trusting is definitely a trait you had before you became our son. 

You let me - pretty much a stranger - come take you from the only life you've ever known - be it good or bad - move half a would away and trust us to love and take care of you. Trust our family to accept and nurture you. Trust a culture you only knew about in the movies. Trust yourself to move away from the only family you've ever known. To a life you knew nothing about. That's an amazing amount of trust which brings me to the last and final trait that I'll share tomorrow -on your last day of being a child - to be continued....

So tomorrow's the day. You'll be 18. Officially an adult. And today's the last character text. (I'm sure you might be happy about that? All this reading?) 

I've mentioned; 

Loyalty & Honor

Protective

Spiritual 

Hard Worker

Mechanically inclined

Technically inclined

Artistic

Affectionate 

Physical abilities

Tender Hearted

Sense of humor

Teachable 

Chivalry 

Trusting 

And I have one more left for today. I think I've covered most the positive traits & characteristics you've come with? But you've gained so many more being our son and I know you're working on some too. 

Before I mention the last character trait you came with, I'd like to tell you how proud I am to be your mom. You make me proud everyday. I see you trying to make good choices and be a good guy. I see your struggles and know your heartaches and I hurt right along with you. But I know that with your character & goodness you will overcome your struggles and make the most of this life you've been given. What a joy (with a little bit of sadness and heartache) it's been to watch you grown from a boy to a man. Just remember my man-child, that you'll always have a mom. She doesn't go away at 18, or marriage, or fatherhood or ever. I'll always be here for you, cheering you on, in your corner, praying for you and loving you. I couldn't love you anymore if I had given birth to you. As you approach adulthood - please remember that? "You have a mom and she'll always love you."

Can't wait to witness your future and the spectacular man you'll become. 

Here's the last trait; 

Brave: 

You're one of the bravest souls I know. Not just unafraid of  fights, scary movies, spiders and dentists. But brave in trying new things, taking chances, asking girls out, telling the truth (most of the time), repenting & fighting your demons, and following a crazy mom home half a world away to live forever. That kind of brave. A brave heart. 

I love you Alex Benjamin Richhart. Wherever you go, my heart goes too.