Alex Playing Basket Ball....

Alex has improved immensely in his basketball skills. Last year he didn't know how to dribble, what a traveling was and he was very hesitant to touch the ball with his hands. (That would be because he had only played soccer up until last year!) But check out his ball handling skills this year!

He made a basket and I missed it entirely. I missed the basket, the grin, the wave to me.....everything! Here's what I got!

Rylee's 11th Birthday!

Family Party!

Friend Party!

"Fish" Pics For Kambree...

Devree is calling him "Popeye" because his eyes pop out. Austin is calling him a name I can't remember - some assassin from some video game? Rylee is ignoring him and Alex is over feeding him....we think. Someone is feeding him too much. (Clarification, Rylee is feeding the fish. Alex was very indignant when he read that HE was feeding the fish. So the truth came out...)  I am calling him "Fish" or when I stumble into the kitchen without turning lights on to fill my water bottle for the gym around 5 am - forgetting about our newest addition - and he swims rapidly around his bowl - I think he's a big spider or worse a mouse....then I call him "STUPID FISH!" 

Today is Ry's Birthday.
Wow. Eleven. My baby.
I plan on doing a birthday post complete with pictures later. Her party is tonight.
Today is also Alex's 1/2 birthday -as they are 18  months to the day apart. I was planning with Rylee just what kind of treats she would like to take for her class for her birthday and realized that Alex has NEVER taken treats to his class - due to his mid summer July birthday. Since there are a hundred and one things Alex can say  he never did as a kid, I decided taking birthday treats to class doesn't have to be one of them! So, he took treats to his class today too. He was so excited! He didn't care what I bought, in fact he told me to surprise him - I love that about Alex - he's not too particular, just happy to get whatever!

Kambree sent Ry a card in the mail for her birthday with a really sweet letter. Rylee loved it. She was reading it out loud to Alex and I and at the end she broke down crying. I had to point out that these are tears of joy! She nodded as she threw herself on my lap and sobbed into my arms. (It was a very sweet and thoughtful letter!) I have a feeling that these next few years with Ry are going to be full of tears both happy and sad. Sigh. Growing up is so hard on little girls and their moms!

 

A Terrible But True Fish Story.....

 In an effort to protect the names of the innocent (and the not so innocent) I will not be using names in this post. You may assume what you like.

Tonight Daughter 2 - after striking a deal with Son 1 (helping with his dish night) - went shopping for school supplies and chocolate chips (Son 1 made a deal with me that I would make chocolate chip cookie bars if he did his dishes and went to buy some chips.) 

Daughter 2 and Son 1 came home with more than just school supplies.....Daughter 2 bought  a bulgy eyed, black fish as a birthday gift for Daughter 3. Daughter 3 looked at it in fear & trepidation as I groaned and started in on "Why would you buy a fish? They always die. Who's going to clean the bowl? " as Son 1 proclaimed "I knew mom wouldn't like it!" laughing. Son 2 joined us in awe of this new pet as Son 1 proceeded to pour the fish into a fish bowl. (Why do we have a fish bowl? Because for some reason we seem to keep getting fish! Despite our ease in killing them off in less than a week or two.)  

Daughter 3 begins to cry. She doesn't like the fish but doesn't want to hurt Daughter 2's feelings. She's afraid the fish will die. (Son 1 pouring it into the bowl is only adding to the concern and torrent of tears! As Daughter 2 is yelling, "Don't just pour it in....you'll kill it!" ) Daughter 2 upon seeing Daughter 3 begin to cry begins to huff about Daughter 3 not liking her gift. I am hugging Daughter 3 - trying to supervise Sons 1 & 2 and make secret head signs to Daughter 2 to come hug & comfort Daughter 3. 

Daughter 2 is uncooperative as a result of a bad day - which is  a result of being a teenager and a tad bit self centered, ungrateful and demanding and me telling her as much earlier in the day. 

I notice that Daughter 2 has also purchased Peppermint Extract despite her telling me she needed Peppermint Oil for her upcoming science project. I point this out and Daughter 2 - who rarely cries and has a very tough exterior breaks into tears right along with Daughter 3! (She really did have a bad day!) So now I have two daughters crying, 2 son's in love with a black, bulgy eyed fish and Husband on Skype wondering what in the world is going on?

After a quick update on the situation, an introduction to our newest bowl dwelling pet,  he tries to comfort both girls who I am trying to hug and who continue to cry through his Skype call. There's no comforting happening -  although we do get Daughters to hug. 

As soon as Husband hangs up,  Son 1 googles about "black moor" fish and finds they can grow to six inches and live for 20-25 years! Seriously!? This information and the debate as to what to name the fish has caused both daughters to wipe their tears and join in the conversation. In an effort to continue to lighten the conversation I tell them about Grandpa Richhart that had big old fish for years in his aquarium and then fried them up for dinner when they died. (Gross...I know!) We joke about how this fish can be our food storage.

Now both girls are in control of their emotions and it's time for bed. I ask Son 1 to say the family prayer and he asks a blessing on the fish to live for now but that some day will "nourish and strengthen" our bodies!  Son 2 and Daughter 2 break out into laughter - during the prayer of course. Daughter 3 does not find is amusing but I can't help but smile. 

(Sigh)

It snowed today, I am coming down with a cold - I have one of those itchy sore throats coming on - this is only day one of 16 of being a single mom and now I have a black, bulgy eyed, nameless fish on my kitchen counter that could possible be there until husband and I are past retirement age!

Give me strength!

Letting Go....

Yesterday Alex was reading out loud to me from the New Era (I've started having him read 20 minutes in his AR book and then 10 from church magazines.) while I prepared dinner.  In this story the girl talks about making bad choices and hurting her mom, the one person she loves the most. Alex stopped reading and looked up at me smiling, "See mom? Everyone loves mom's the most!" 

He went back to his reading then stopped and out of no where announced,  "I don't hate my Ukraine mom anymore." Then shrugged and said, "Maybe she is still mean?" but he shrugged again like it was out of his control and he wasn't going to worry about it any longer.  

I was so very proud of him. He's letting go of his hate and hurt. What a  big, heavy bag for a little boy to be carrying around all this time. 

I told him how  great it was that he has decided not to hate her and how wonderful that must feel.  I told him that we should both be grateful to her that she gave him life so he could come here and be our son. He nodded in agreement. We talked about how maybe she did the best she could with what she had. I also quickly touched on how hating her doesn't hurt her, it just hurts him. He agreed then went back to his reading without a care in the world. Our entire conversation couldn't have lasted more than 5 minutes. We could have been discussing the weather or what I was making for dinner, or whatever....but we weren't. We were healing his soul or I should say HE was healing his soul and moving forward with his life.

What a resilient, brave, strong, beautiful boy.

I wonder if his Ukraine mom ever thinks of him?..... I wonder if she knows just what she's missing?..... I wonder if I could take her in a boxing match?..... Hum....maybe I need to work on letting my anger go....

Marathon English!

Here is an example of Alex's English:

"Is the word "let" had two T's?"

Now, I know perfectly well what he's asking, "Does the word "let" have two T's?". I corrected his structure of the question and had him repeat it and then answered his question. "No, the word "let" does not have two T's." 

The problem is that often times I do NOT correct him. If I did I would be correcting about 75%-80% of everything he says. Which might sound like I am kind, tolerant or benevolent but I'm not. Really. Really I am just lazy, tired and spread thin.
I am also fully aware that if we don't correct him, he will just continue to say things wrong but, because like a toddler learning to speak, I understand perfectly what he is saying and can answer or respond appropriately I just answer/respond and move on, sometimes not even noticing the jumbled past/present tense topsy-turvy sentence structure or have the time and/or energy to address it.
Unlike a toddler though, when you're 12 going on 13 it isn't cute or funny anymore. It was when it was wacky, wrong words, funny pronouncement or combined words when he was first learning. We would all laugh. Alex included. Now, its just incorrect, crazy sentence structure, past or present tense issues and he takes offense if you laugh, can't understand or worse, correct him.

It feels like we're at the start of a very long marathon, he and I.  The English Marathon - the correction of past and present tense - the use of punctuation in writing - capitalization - plurals. Its the tough English stuff that we need to push through and dig deep for. This is not an easy race.

As I explained this morning - more for my benefit than his - that if we don't correct him, no one else will and he will just sound uneducated and funny to everyone. So I am resolving today to be more diligent. To correct with kindness and compassion. To not let things slid or assume he'll figure it out eventually. But more than that, I realize that often I am just not listening or paying enough attention because life is so crazy busy! So, I resolve to slow down, really listen and finish this marathon we've started almost 21 months ago...if only I could see the finish line!

Alex's and his "Delicious" Dreams of the Future.....

Last week Alex had a dream which involved a cute girl named Katie, only I was her mother and she told him not to let her mother/me see him hold her hand or hug her or "other stuff". 

"What other stuff are you referring to Alex?" I asked. 

He made kissing motions with his fingers. 

"Oh, did you kiss Katie in your dream?" 

He giggles, "Yes." 

"How was it?" 

"Delicious!" 

Oh my. 

Did he really just say that?

This Katie he's talking/dreaming about is no longer at his school but apparently going to be back in his school next year for junior high. I asked what he's going to do if she ignores him? 

"Oh, I will bother her until she talks to me." 

Well, that's one way of going about it.....

At dinner tonight we somehow got talking about Alex's future wife. (He often brings this subject up. He's really focused on finding a wife.Good gravy!) Oh, I remember why this came up. James was asking the kids what they felt deprived of? He felt deprived of having clean white socks that weren't stretched out when he was little. His older brother with much larger calves would always stretch out his socks and now that he's grown he really enjoys having nice white socks that fit. He was wondering what we were depriving our children of that they will look forward to when they're  adults? (Not because we plan on changing our ways....just so they can have something to look forward to!)  I mentioned they will look forward to having a BIG dog. (Everyone wants a big dog except James and I! No way! And no birds, rodents or reptiles either!) Devree quipped in that they are deprived of having a dirty house! Then Alex informed us that his house will  "always be 100% clean". I couldn't help but snort a little at this statement. (This from a boy that is just figuring out how to make his bed correctly?) Austin asked what if his wife doesn't know how to do house work? Or cook or anything?

With all the confidence in the world Alex replies, "Oh...she will. I say my prayers!" 

I burst out laughing. 

Alex looks at me and explains,

"I will pray to have a good wife!"

What a funny little boy that apparently is not as little as I'd like to think?

Delicious?

Really??

Alex's Birth Dad

So, awhile back I blogged about Alex and the sorrow he feels about his birth dad dying. At the time he was inconsolable until, in my feebly attempt to comfort him, I mentioned that maybe we could do his dad's temple work? As soon as the words left my mouth - I instantly doubted my ability to make this happen. Alex's birth dad is NOT the dad listed on his birth certificate. His birth mother put her first husband (Ivan's dad) on the certificate. I don't believe she ever married his dad. I had no idea this mans name, his birth date or his death date. I was afraid I had suggested something that was an impossibility? 

I emailed Ivan. He responded with "Yes his father died." Not what I was hoping for. I got Jordan (the cute young man that helped me translate our phone calls to Alex in the orphanage) to write an email in Ukraine asking for dad's legal name, birth date and death date. And guess what? Ivan had all of it!!

Next hurdle?

I am not a family history buff or know ANYTHING about how to prepare his name for temple work. With that in mind, I immediately called our family history specialist, Barbra Jensen and she had me come over and with a couple clicks of her mouse she had his paper work temple ready! Seriously, it was so easy for her. The super, cool thing is that although Alex is sealed to our family, he can be linked to his Ukraine father and someday when someone is researching his families line, there will be a link showing that Anatoliy Ivanovich Litvinenko had a son and where he is. Cool huh? 

Well, today was the day. We took Alex to the temple where he was baptised and confirmed by his father James for his birth father. (For those unfamiliar with the LDS faith, feel free to read here: http://lds.org/general-conference/2000/10/the-redemption-of-the-dead-and-the-testimony-of-jesus?lang=eng)

It was a nice day. I really hope this will help Alex have some closure with his fathers death. And I really hope that Anatoliy accepts the ordinances performed on his behalf. It is my firm belief that those relatives that pass before us have a hand in our lives, that our relationships go beyond the grave. I like to think it was this man, this birth father that loved Alex the best he could while he was alive, that whispered to me to find Alex. Knowing how much he needed a family. How much he wanted a mom. Mountains moved for us to adopt Alex and perhaps he had a hand in that too?  Who knows? But one thing is for sure, Alex loved his birth father and the only happy memories he has prior to the orphanage involve this man and I believe it is his love and nurturing of Alex -despite the neglect and abuse he suffered from his birth mother - that has made Alex able to attach and bond and love us.

Funny Side Story:

After the ordinances we got special permission to take Alex to the cafeteria. As we were walking towards the cafeteria Alex announced that it smelled just like the orphanage! We burst out laughing (quietly of course because we were in the temple) at his remark. I guess cafeteria's smell the same all over the world? The good news is he decided the food was much better than the orphanage! 

Just call me Dory!

So, my grandmother at the age of 85 was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. 

Is it genetic? 'Cause I'm thinking that I might be pre-disposition-ed to have it?

I kid you not.

Here are a few examples:

#1 

I can't find my car in a parking lot.

I've mentioned this before on my blog. I walk out of the store, and just pretend I know where my car is and walk forward with a look of confidence all the while my brain is going "Where in the heck did you park?" I don't have a key less alarm on my new car. (I use to just start pushing my lock and listening for the little chirp on my old car) so I'm out of luck unless I"m shopping with a husband or child that instinctively knows where the car is parked and I just follow. I have also taken to always parking on the same side of the church or the gym. That seems to help. It's the grocery store and shopping that really does me in! You can never get the same place twice so it's always a roll of the dice.*

#2 

I lose things. 

I had a little schedule of the hours the Jordan River Temple was open and made a mental note to put said little schedule in a safe place so I could find it later. Well, apparently the place was so safe, even I couldn't find it!! I kept racking my brain. "Where did I put it?" I know I put it somewhere safe. Nope. Didn't find it. Went to the temple with Amy and she handed me a new little schedule and I went home and decided once again to store it in a safe place and flipped to the first safe place I thought of and there was the FIRST schedule....right where I had left it! Grrr...

#3 

Thoughts escape me.

The other night I was brushing my teeth. Something crossed my mind that was perplexing. Seriously perplexing. Something that made me think, I need to look into that or figure that out or something but by the time I was rinsing my teeth, the thought had vanished. I remember feeling perplexed but for the life of me have yet to remember what it was. Seriously?

#4 

I say the wrong name/word.

I never call my children by the right name. I think I should have named the girls KamDevRy or just call the boys "A" which will suffice for both Alex or Austin. Because although I know perfectly well who I am talking to, the wrong name always comes out! Often times I say the wrong word for things too. For example, I will THINK "Go put that in the fridge." and I will SAY "Go put that in the tub." I will get strange looks until I realize what I just said. Grrr....and I use to be so quick witted! 

Not good I tell you. 

Not good. 

I feel a lot like this little fish:

Dory, from Nemo. 

Which is funny because her song is one of my life long motto's "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming."

But I think if things don't start improving I might forget how to swim, or what order my clothes go on, or what my blogger password is!

Anyone else have memory issues? Is it my age? The number of children I'm responsible for? The inversion? My mom says stress. Blah. I don't feel stressed. I feel forgetful! James say's I'm just going to fast. I need to slow down. Whatever. I don't have time to slow down.(Secretly I think he just wants me to slow down to match his pace - which is a lot slower than mine - and often times drives me crazy!)

Maybe I just need to see if I can get an Rx for the patches my grandma is wearing to slow down the effects? But that would involve remembering to call a doctor, remembering the appointment, and then of course remembering to fill the Rx and wear the darn thing. That's FOUR things to remember! What are the chances?

*Note: Talking about cars in the parking lot reminds me of a story that I don't think I shared on my blog yet? (Maybe I have? Again, memory's not as good as it use to be.) So, late one night in December I went to Wal-mart (which I try hard to avoid) because I had been earlier and James had asked me to pick up a couple of things for him and I had totally forgot. (Very appropriate to document on this post as further evidence of my deteriorating state of mind?) I walked out to the parking lot and went to what I thought was my car (I was driving James car and we had only had it for a couple of months) and notice three people sitting in it. Oops. Not my car? I glanced at the license plate as I walked away and felt a bit confused. I think that's the letters on our plate? (The letters are OMK. I remember it only by thinking it stands for Oh My Kids) But quickly shrugged it off thinking I must have remembered wrong. Obviously, because there were three people sitting in the car and I saw the brake lights come on as they started it. I moved farther down the parking lot and found the very same make and model but slightly newer car and realized that I was NOT crazy! Those three people were in the WRONG car! MY CAR! Again, it  was late (like 11:30 pm?) and raining slightly. My mind is racing as to what to do? I don't feel like I'm in grave danger but then thoughts flash through my mind of all those crazy stories on the news about people jacking cars or taking people by gunpoint to ATM's to withdraw money so, I try to think rationally. I need a witness. I need someone to see me get pulled into the car and call 911!  I grabbed the first and only person I could find, a toothless Wal-mart worker that was out gathering carts, and asked him to accompany me to my occupied car. He grunted, nodded and grinned (I'm not sure he was verbal and as I'm returning to my car, I'm thinking that he many not be a very good witness?) I softly knocked on the drivers side window, not wanting to freak the driver out - as I am easily freaked out when people knock on my window. The car had yet to move or start. A very cute, young, Asian guy looked up at me with wide bewildered eyes. He rolled down the window and I, in my nicest voice, explained that I think he is in my car? The car's occupant's burst in to laughter and shot out of the car faster than a Chinese Fire Drill (and I don't mean that in a derogatory, ethnic comparison but truly a comparison of how fast they vacated my car!) They explained that the key fit but it wouldn't start (hence the brake lights I saw) and they were just about to call a mechanic. They laughed and apologized profusely as they gathered their bags out of the back of my car. The Wal-mart worker just stood their grinning. I excused him and told him I was sure I was safe and thanked him for accompanying me. The cute Asian youth were laughing so hard they could hardly catch their breath. I was laughing too, almost to the point of hysteria. Whew. I wasn't crazy and better yet I wasn't being car jacked or kidnapped!

Apologies....

I just caught up my picture posting. I've been out of memory on Picasso and not posting pictures. I apologize for clogging your reader with all my back posts!

~Wendy