Devree's Homecoming

Motorcycle Trip!

We just bought the boys new gear.....

Alex:

Austin:

James:

My mom and Dad:

About 30 minutes into the trip, I notice that Alex's leg was bleeding. As in dripping down his leg into his boot. He refused to let me or James look at it there on the trail so we went back to the truck. I was on an ATV so not as fast as the boys on the motorcycles and when I got there James hollered, "He's going to need stitches!" I knew if JAMES was saying this, it had to be pretty bad. 

We had a tiny first aid kit and managed to throw gauze over it and wrap it in a pillow case and tie it up with rope. My dad quickly loaded his ATV in his truck, I carried Alex to the truck and mom and I took off to find the nearest ER or Instacare. Alex was stoic. He just thought he had a "scratch". He fillet open his leg with the kick start on the bike. 

The next few pics are pretty gross:

8 inside stitches, 14 outside

And he never cried - he squeezed my hand like crazy - but he never cried. 

The Next Day:

After crutching through Walgreens with me to find non stick gauze bandages, medical wrap, and Neosporin, Alex told me "Thanks for taking care of me mom. I really didn't know I was bleeding yesterday. I'm glad you were there. Maybe you should come with me next time." Well? Apparently slicing your leg wide open on a motorcycle kick start is not a deterrent to riding motorcycles in the future?

Week In Review

In an effort to journal more, I thought maybe I'd try to write weekly? No promises and probably not really that interesting but in an effort to remember.....

Things I loved about this week:

Rylee sent me a snap chat of her lip syncing in the hall outside the bathroom door while Alex is in the shower singing and the top of his lungs! I love that he sings in the shower. Austin and Rylee do that too. The fact that Alex does it just warms my heart. You have to feel at home to sing in the shower right?

I had a great talk with Kambree this week. I had a dream about her earlier this week where she was being kept from me and refusing to talk to me. I was sobbing in my dream and woke up with heart palpitations. It was nice to have a chat with her on the phone this week. She is in the thick of nursing school and got a 96% on her first test! That's my girl!
Today is Cameron's birthday. He is 23 years old! She sent this picture:

They seem to be doing well. They're tied to the motel so we don't see them in person much but luckily she Instagrams pretty often.

Unlike her brother Austin! 

Here is my text conversation with this week:

And later this week I found this picture of his back side on Facebook through a new college friend that tagged him. Yes, I stalk  my children on Facebook. Why else have an account?

Devree got home late last night and came in (very late) and sang me a song that she and her friends sang to some boy last night to answer him for homecoming. She is hitting the books hard this week with her four college courses. This Saturday is homecoming and she's going with Tyler. (Her boyfriend - even though that's not what they call themselves?)

Devree and Rylee and I went to Tarzan at Hale Center Friday night. James had no interest in "seeing a guy in a loin cloth run around on stage." We had a nice time. 

Alex is playing water polo and graduated to a Speedo this week. He was the only guy on the team not wearing one. This is him last week in his jammer:

And this week at a distance in his speedo:

I find it funny that it took him so long to decide to wear one since he grew up wearing one and surrounded by a culture that embraces such small mens swimwear? (He looks like I don't feed him in the picture but, I do. He really doesn't go hungry - the funny part you can't see is that he saw me trying to catch a picture so he did a little hula hip motion for me. I wish I had the video on instead of the camera.)

James is away at work so of course I ran over the sprinkler head and broke it within hours of him leaving. Jake came and fixed it for me. They have a pack, James and Jake. They work opposite hitches and cover for each other on the home front when the wives have repairs beyond their abilities. James was out fixing Jake's sprinklers last hitch home and low and behold, Jake had to fix ours this hitch!

Alex got his hair cut really short this week. It's very cute and while listening to two hours of Stake Conference today he laid his head in my lap and put my hands on his head for a massage - at one point I was trying to take notes to share with James later and needed both my hands so he took Rylee's hand and placed it on his head for her to continue where I took off. Afterwards his hair was sticking up silly and when I told him, he said it was worth it! 

Alex is officially as tall as me - which is crazy because less than a month ago he was still a quarter inch shorter! It won't be long until he's taller than me and he just can't wait!

Rylee started on toe last week. It's pretty painful. I hope she callouses soon. She's dancing three nights a week for a total of six hours but only 1.5 is on toe.
This is her being fit for toe shoes. Our appointment took over an hour. Who knew it was such a fine balance? $150 dollars later we finally ended up with the shoes, little toe socks for her big toes,  some sort  of rubbery little toe pad, ribbons, elastic and a "breathable" bag.

Alex is playing water polo two nights a week and swimming on MAC two afternoons a week with water polo games on Saturday. He's scored a goal in each of his three games so far. He's a good player - very accurate and strong at throwing but not as strong and fast at swimming - that's why he's swimming at MAC - to work on speed and endurance.
I think water polo must be the WORST sport to photograph since all I have is a floating head in the pool? He's #5.

Devree is conditioning to play basketball. Tryouts are in November. Basketball will be such a blessed relief from drill. 

I am trying to ride my bike 4-5 times a week to prepare for the Wicked Witch Ride at the end of this month. It's a 70 mile ride with a wicked 3 mile climb in the middle. I need to get more hill climbing in to get conditioned.
I am happy to report that I am 3.5 inches smaller around my waist, tummy, and thighs and 4 inches smaller around my hips since last year at this time. It's all due to my "mostly Paleo" way of life AND my bike. I love riding my bike. I am dreading the cold weather for that very reason.

In other news, Alex is singing next month for General Conference in the priesthood session. This is him and Jared Walton leaving for practice tonight.

Well, that's a pretty good review of the last couple of weeks. 

Until next time.....

  

Alex Update

It's been a long time since I've penned an Alex update. Which only shows how well he's doing? I find that I blog and write as MY therapy in dealing with Alex and my silence is proof of the upswing we've had. 

So, for you two or three readers who are still  out there, you know we've had issues with lying. Over and over again. In the past four years I have wrote more about lying and the many lectures, consequences and punishments Alex has received due to lying than any other subject.

I don't know why, and I can't pinpoint when but at sometime in the last six months, something clicked in his little brain and he. Has. Stopped. Lying.
!!!!!!!
Glory be and the saints be praised!!!

This is evident by the fact that we let him get his learners permit.

Alex has dreamed of driving. From the minute we heard his first word "Honda" to his original career aspiration of being a taxi cab driver, he has ALWAYS been car oriented. He memorized car makes before he memorized his address. So of course the HUGE card we held over his head during his days of lying was "IF WE CANNOT TRUST YOU, YOU CANNOT DRIVE!" 

Maybe it was that as he was approaching the age of 15 he figured that we were serious and stopped lying? Maybe it was we have now been his parents almost as long as he lived in an orphanage? Maybe it was a spiritual awakening of his soul and the Holy Ghost whispering in his ear to speak the truth? Maybe he was just too tired of getting my lectures, lessons, role playing and exasperated anger? 

Who knows?

The joyous part is that HE TELLS THE TRUTH!

Here's a few examples:
"Alex, did you eat FOUR peaches after school today?"

"Yes"

"Alex did you do your chores today?"
"No."

And the best?
"Dad, I broke the brake on the motorcycle." last weekend during our camping trip. 

The truth will set you free.

Dang if that isn't the truth.

Since this miraculous change I have been able to give Alex the freedom that most children earn at a much earlier age. And I think he feels free. He doesn't have to worry about being caught in a lie. Covering up the truth. Telling stories. Hiding. Sneaking. Watching his back. He can just be.

Since I last wrote I think he's grown 5 inches and gained 15 pounds? He's almost 5'8" and weighs 120 pounds. He was 60 pounds when we adopted him so I was joking with him about how we've "doubled our investment". 

(Oh and he's ALWAYS hungry. I joke that we should have named him Alex Hungry Richhart!) 

He has his moments of grumpiness. But what 15 year old is cheerful all the time? Or sweet to his sisters all the time? Not any 15 year old's that I've raised. 

He still struggles with his "Ukraine" smile - or should I say lack of? He often times comes across angry and indifferent when really, he's just who he is? A non smiler? 

And gruff? I thought he spoke gruff before? Now that his voice has dropped he ALWAYS sounds gruff and irritated. It's not that he really has an accent anymore but he still has something foreign? Add the deep voice and the deadpan glazes and he can be a bit frightening to the outside world but to us, it's just Alex.

I've been letting him drive us places - here and there. He can sense my nervousness and came in last night and laid his head on my shoulder and assured me "Mom, I will always keep you safe." I don't doubt I'll be safe - it's my car that I'm a bit concerned about. 

We're starting to see his wit and personality come through. I think he keeps things really low key around me, I've criticized and corrected him so much that I think he's on guard a lot with me? That makes me sad but I guess it's for the best? I am his PARENT not his friend. I detest crude language and behavior. There is no reason to say, "Mom, I have to pee." He can just say " Excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom." He brings home expressions and sayings from school and repeats them and doesn't even know the vulgar meaning of what he's saying. Guess who tells him? Yep. Me. If not? Who will? 

But because of my frankness, I know he trusts me. When someone is teasing him or he's not sure if they're speaking the truth he'll say. "I'll ask mom, she always tells me the truth." 

That warms my heart. And I think as time goes by, he'll relax more around me? 

I don't think a day goes by that I don't get numerous hugs, kisses on my forehead & cheek and him leaning on my shoulder. He even sits on my lap every so often and although he's hanging off - because he's as tall as me now - we try to adjust and he'll just let me hold him and rub his back and tickle his face. I know he'd die if his friends knew about this.  He knows that most boys at age 15 don't sit on their moms lap but I told him that he has 10.75 years of mama snuggles to make up for, it's okay. He must not mind too much because while camping (with my extended family) he sat on my lap three different times and didn't seem to care who saw? 

I was thinking why he sat on my lap so much during camping but doesn't at home and I've decided it's because the only time I'm sitting is in front of the computer? If I'm ever sitting on the couch he'll just sit next to me and lean against my shoulder or lay his head in my lap. I do try to get up to bed around the same time as my kids  and I seem to get ready and into bed much faster than they do - that's probably because I LIKE to read and hope they'll get in bed quickly so I can get a few chapters in before I need to turn out my light? Anyway, nightly  he'll come in and throw himself across me (there goes my reading)  and I'll rub his back and we'll talk about this and that. We recently changed our master bedroom around and now our bed is on the opposite wall much closer to the door, Alex told me he likes the configuration because he can just walk in and lay his head on my tummy faster? Funny kid. 

He also still elects to sit by me when we watch movies downstairs and always ends up laying against my shoulder or across my lap. If I don't rub his back or his face, he takes my hand and places it on his back or face. Nothing sublet there. 

Touch. 

I think he lacked so much of it growing up that he craves it now. My worry? Girls. Yep. You know a girl rubbing your back or tickling your face would be much better than a mom? It scares me how much he likes girls. Austin didn't really have an interest in girls until his senior year. Alex is a freshman. Gulp. It feeds my fear that he's so very cute too.

He talks about girls a lot and he's pretty confident. (He told us the other day he's just going to say "Lets be boyfriend and girlfriend" after hearing Rylee and I talk about a boy/girl situation with her friends at school. He just plans to cut to the chase. None of this back an forth. He'll just come out and ask. He was also getting a Holding Hands 101 lesson from Devree and he scoffed and told her that he knows how to hold hands and he showed her by just picking up her hand. With a "this is how it's done, just pick up her hand" expression. He's not going to mince words or "accidentally" place his hand next to the girls hand, no he's just going to do and say exactly what he means.)  He has a little friend from EFY that he texts and face times with occasionally. She came over to watch a movie and play board games once. (In a group setting - she and her sister and Alex and three other boys.) Luckily she lives in Provo. 45 minutes away. She's a sweet, cute girl. It's just too scary for me to think about this next phase of Alex's social life. He just seems so little still. Luckily we don't date around here until 16 and even then we don't exclusively date in high school. He's well aware of this and seems on board. I guess next year we will see just how that all turns out? And how his cut to the chase and get to the point technique goes. It helps that his social/conversation skills are still a little awkward? But I know that's not enough to shelter him from the storm of giggly girls coming our way!

He asked if he could have some guy friends over for a movie last Saturday. I offered to make popcorn but we were out so I served some grapes and some crackers and cheese. Maybe I'm crazy? But, Alex just grins from ear to ear when I come down and serve snacks to his friends. He always thanks me profusely and plays a generous host? And I can't help but think how this boy had NOTHING to call his own. Not a home to invite friends too, not a movie to watch, not a mom to serve snacks and he has not forgotten. He doesn't say it but I can feel it:

I'm home.

I'm safe.

I'm loved.

I have a family. 

And I feel his gratitude, in his smiling face and his sighs of contentment as he hugs me and leans against me. Call me crazy, but I will hold this boy and rub his back and tickle his face just as long as he'll let me. He's not the only one that missed 10.75 years. 

It's taken us over four years, four months and some odd days to get to this point of trust, clarity and comfort, but it's been worth it.

I've been out of blog land for awhile now, please comment if you've read this post. I'd like to know if I still have anyone reading.....