Just had lunch with some of our SAC parents.
My heart just hurts for a few of these parents with kids that struggle so much. I remember those first couple of years and the struggles we had with our Alex. I thought maybe I could find a blog entry showing how difficult he was and how far we've come to give some hope to these parents up to their eyeballs in contention and chaos.
I kept looking, certain I had one that I wrote in a fit of tears and frustration but truth be told, I didn't publish much in the way of the heartache I had with Alex the first few years. I tried to be positive and record the funny, good and tender moments. However, I did keep a private blog. I called it "What Wendy Really Thinks" and there I vented and said all the things I didn't dare put out there for the world to see. However, I deleted it some years back? Or at least I hope I did because it's not on blogger anymore?
But I remember feeling so discouraged. I felt that although I had given Alex a better life, that he didn't care enough or believe in himself enough to grab this opportunity by the horns and take advantage of it. That he'd never amount to much more then working in fast food or joining the military. He had no drive. No work ethic.
That's not to say that he's perfect now, I still worry about his relationship skills. We've started Husband 101 classes. Yep. I figure if he's hurting my feelings (and I have pretty thick skin), how in the world is he going to avoid hurting his future wife's? It's not that he's mean, he just words things in such a way that they're offensive and sharp. He's gruff. And his deep voice only adds to the gruffness lately. I don't doubt he can GET a wife but keeping her is my concern.....
He was so self centered when he first got here. He thought only of himself and having fun. He did the bare minimum in everything. Chores, homework, communication. He was all about rushing through and doing a crappy job so he could have FUN!
He still often times rushes through his chores or gets caught up in a TV show and can't focus but it is so much better!
Did I mention he all A's and B's this term? Not even one B-.
Pretty impressive.
3.444 - so close to honor roll (3.5).
He told me that next term he's getting a 4.0 because "I want to make you proud."
Oh baby. You already make me proud. And I told him as much.
But back to our first few formidable years.....
I was exasperated when I got home. There was parts of me that were counting down the days when he'd be old enough to move out of the house and be on his own. Now I'm dreading it. He'll be 18 before his senior year starts and I look at the next 3.5 years that we have left before he either goes on a mission or away to college and I want to cry. I missed so much of his childhood. I just want him to be "my boy" a little longer but since he's now as tall (or taller when I don't have shoes on) he's not much of a little boy any longer.
So, dear moms that read my blog. I know I recorded the sweet and tender stuff. I know it sounds all rainbows and lollipops over in my blog world but I've been there - maybe not to the extent that some of you have it with older kids and multiple kids but it is my hope and prayer that in time, like us, you'll find peace and joy in your imports.
If nothing else let me leave you with some of my favorite Facebook statuses. (Alex still gives me great material to write about - just farther and fewer between. I don't tag him and he's not an avid Facebook reader or I couldn't get away with this!)
I guess this is my new way to journal? Copy and pasting my Facebook entries?
October 30th 2013
Apparently my youngest son has super powerful
vision? On the way home home he asked me, "Mom, what planet is that?
Saturn or Jupiter?" Before I could even control my laughter and respond,
"Never mind. It's a plane." In his defense, he's yet to take astronomy.
October 14th 2013
Last
night Alex talked me into watching an episode of Walking Dead.
Uhhh....gross? He told me I could hold on to him if I was scared. I
don't think scared is what I was feeling but when the guy (not a zombie)
got a machete in the head, I was done.
Later that night when we
were watching Once Upon A Time (way more my speed), he was laying
against me and wrapped my arm around his neck and my hand was
laying on his chest, he asked with a wink, " Can you feel my steel
metal pecks?" (Yeah, he's pretty lean and getting muscular and not very
humble about it.)
I asked (while trying not to burst out laughing), "Is that the same as rock hard pecks?"
"Oh yeah, that's what I meant."
Then I did burst out laughing. Steel metal is a lot like rock hard! Love that we still have funny English moments....
September 21st 2013
After
crutching through Walgreens with me to find non stick gauze bandages,
medical wrap, and Neosporin, Alex told me "Thanks for taking care of me
mom. I really didn't know I was bleeding yesterday. I'm glad you were
there. Maybe you should come with me next time." Well? Apparently
slicing your leg wide open on a motorcycle kick start is not a deterrent
to riding motorcycles in the future?
September 18th 2013
Get this! Alex prefers ME to take him driving over his fun loving dad!
Of course, I've been teaching this boy since the minute the court
declared him ours just over 4 years ago. I started with "chewing with
your mouth closed" and now we're up to driving. Look how far we've come!
He told me as he walked up to bed "Don't ever get old mom, because I still have a lot to learn." I that boy!
September 15th 2013
Things I loved about this week:
*Rylee Richhart's snap chat where she's standing in the hall outside the bathroom door and lip syncing while Alex Richhart sings in the shower.
*My long talk catching up with Kambree Wright on the phone and her cute picture of Cameron Wright blowing out his birthday candle on his stack of birthday Oreo's.
*That I actually had a texting conversation with my long lost son Austin Richhart
and found a picture of him on Facebook posted by one of his new college
friends. (Yes, I am a mama stalker. Why else do I have FB but to keep
an eye on my kids?)
*Devree Richhart
singing a song to me after midnight last night that she sang with
friends to answer a boy to homecoming. (Oh, and the fact she asked me to
proof her English paper.)
*Face timing (or texting or talking) with my hubs, James Richhart and keeping him up to speed on the goings on around here.
*One house under contract!
*The rain - except for when I wanted to ride and the rides I got in despite the sporadic rain!
Here's to next week! Happy Sunday!
September 7th 2013
I've
been letting Alex drive here and there. So far, he's pretty good but he
can tell I'm very nervous about it. He told me last night "Don't worry
mom, I'll always keep you safe."
It's not really my safety I'm worried about. It's my cars!
August 26th 2013
Success!
2.5 sets of disclosures signed and in their backpacks. (.5 more
tomorrow after B day.) And then a final list of folders, binders,
notebooks etc needed for the school year.
Everyone survived. Alex
told us about his Relief Society class (seminary - he just couldn't
remembered what it was called) and a teacher he called Tit-sy. Which
sounded wrong and it was. Thank goodness.
August 12th 2013
If
you were to step out of the shower and hear heavy footsteps on the roof
of your two story home (shaped like a barn with an incredible steep
pitch) only to find your 15 year old and his friend having an air soft
BB gun war on your ROOF, besides yelling, grounding and writing a two
page paper on the dangers of being on the roof, what could happen and
"how I'd feel if my friend died or was paralyzed" is there any other
consequence this child deserves? Short of a good spanking? — feeling angry.
August 11th 2013
Alex told me that buying Jared Danger G. Walton's
big, semi automatic air-soft bb gun made today the best day of his
life....next to his adoption day! Wow. Glad his adoption didn't get
trumped by a 2nd hand air-soft bb gun purchase. Oy! — feeling relieved.
August 7th 2013
(Austin and Alex gone for the week. Camp/College Class)
This week there has been:
No teasing
No wrestling
No constant snacking
No stepping on airsoft bb's
No video gaming
No basement of musky smelling friends.....
And yet, I miss 'em. (Not sure the sisters will say the same?)
So, I guess we'll go shopping!
July 28th 2013
Tonight
I threw a surprise party for my son Alex's birthday. I've always had
surprise parties for my kiddo's on their 8th b-day but I didn't have
Alex when he was 8 so he got one for his 15th!
I told him we had
outdoor concert tickets to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and to be sure to
wear long pants and a jacket - due to mosquitoes. The whole family
played along - complaining about not wanting to
go - just like they really would. I had his friends hang out in the
garage until they were gathered and then sneaked them in while we sent
him on bogus errands to gather stuff for "the concert".
"SURPRISE!" (See video.) He was a little baffled and even after telling
him he wasn't going to a concert, he asked if I was still going to the
concert? "There isn't a concert love. I just made it up to get you in
long pants and a jacket and ready for your party." His face was
priceless - it was like he finally "got it!" As you can tell in the
video - he wasn't really sure what to think. Pretty sure he's never had a
"surprise" anything before.....
Now they're off playing air-soft bb
gun wars and coming back for banana splits. Here's hoping no one shots
their eye out! (I did require long pants and shirts - hence the mosquito
insert to the story and safety glasses!)
July 9th 2013
Today
while driving by my sisters house Alex spotted her cute and young nanny
outside. His eyes got big and he asked, "Mom, is that the
babysitter?" Me, "Yes." Alex, "Awh.....get me a babysitter!!?" Oh
boy......
