Dear Girls....

I want to be that mom.

I do.

But Alex can attest to the many times I've asked him to stop growing and stay my little boy.  

It's just that I feel a little short changed? I missed the first almost 11 years of his life and now  I look up at this man/child  of mine at his 5 foot 10 stature - soon to be taller next month - and I think, where is my little boy? I'm not ready for this. I didn't get enough time!

Regardless, we're working on husband skills. "Husband 101" to be precise. Some of our lessons include his fluent body language that says "I hate this, I don't want to, whatever you asked me to do is terrible and might kill me!" when his answer was simply and compliantly "Yes."
We're also working on tactfulness, using a kind voice as opposed to his gruff Ukrainian snarl, respect for women and their bodies and basic gentleman manners.  Also working on not laughing and going along with the crowd when they're telling bad jokes and stories, standing up for what you believe and recently.... the proper etiquette of  "hang out" with girls. 

((Gulp))

That one is hard for me. 

I know he's cute.

I knew this was coming but to me he's still that silly, broken English, giggling at Tom & Jerry, building inventions out of junk, obsessed with video games little boy. The boy that loves his face tickled, his back rubbed and sighs when he hugs me tightly.

But apparently to girls his ages he comes across as "The slightly  foreign, yummy smelling, handsome, tall boy that is filling out his T-shirt and has that cute grin and wink?" . 

Oh brother.

It started with a girl he met while working at scout camp that invited him to a dance.....they started texting. Regularly. Okay. Not a worry. She lives in WJ a good 20 minutes away. I'm cool with that. They got together a few times but it took a lot of planning and effort on both parents parts. 

She was pretty safe.

Far away.....and you know how long distance relationships are? 

Besides, we don't date in our home until 16 (which he will be in just about 3  months) and then it's group dates. He's cool with that. But this isn't dating... it's "hanging out"?
Now we have girls from school "hanging out".  And I just recently found out that they're hanging out more than I even knew? 

Husband 101 lesson on trust, the sin of omission and how being honest and truthful with your mom (or future wife) will get you a lot more privileges and trust than just omitting the things you don't want to bring up. Like "hanging out" with girls.

Last night it was going to a trampoline place with a guy friend - when in actuality it was a guy friend plus two girls from school AND that these same two girls were over for a movie at the guy friends house on Tuesday that Alex was invited too. Not to mention, we had the same two girls over last Friday for an hour to "hang out" at our house.

I know that one of the girls has a crush on Alex - it's pretty apparent? 

Oy. 

I learned of the last two "hanging out" episodes from the guy friends mom.

Oh Alex.

Moms.....we talk!

I'm happy for him. I am. Liking the opposite sex and figuring out social graces is all part of growing up. And it's fun and exciting and makes life worth living. I get that.

But I also get that I have only had 5 short years with him and although his body is a strapping  almost 16 year old - sometimes his thinking, actions and emotions aren't quite there? 

((Sigh))

So - as of last night - he promises to be honest and upfront and I got an "Okay, I'm sorry. I will tell you every detail at what we are doing and who will be there." (actual text quote when confronted on the issue.) 

And I'm just putting this out there - for what it's worth.....

Dear girls that think my son is so cute,

He is. 

But please be careful with my man cub. Despite his outward appearance he is still a little guy. My little guy to be exact and I'm not done molding and shaping him into the great man he will be.
I know YOU will have more influence on him than I will now. I know that he will want to be with you and snuggle you more than he'll want to be with me and snuggle with me.

I know he will listen to you and try to please you more than he will listen and please me.

You are a powerful influence. Be an influence for good?  

Please treat his heart, mind and body with respect. I am trying to teach him to do the same for you. 

One day when you are a mother you will understand and you will hope that the girls your boy attracts are kind, wholesome and inately good.

Please be that girl.

He's my baby. 

~Alex's Mom 

March Photos

This is James being "Gucci" in his new winter gear:

Dev and Alex being walruses with their chopsticks:

Saturday lunch at Cafe Trane

Senior Prom dress shopping:

(Sniff - last school dance for Dev)

 Austin heading back to Snow - on the  motorcycle - in James winter clothes!

This is Alex lying on my lap in church. We call this affliction "Mamalaptococcus." 

James enjoying tortilla chips and whip cream? 

One of the many Rylee selfies on my phone....

Our house in dreary March....

A picture I stole off of Facebook of Alex with this girl named Hannah......

Getting dropped off for first over night polo tournament! 

Look who started studying the Drivers Ed Handbook?

And look who's playing with his Game Boy.....again. 

My Kambree! Playing singing measles with her primary kids!

They may be as tall as men but they still play like little boys.

Here's Alex and Brach lighting things on fire with a magnifying glass. 

They came in for sunglasses - since the sun was hurting their eyes. 

(Look at Alex's perfect grumpy old man face?)

Alex and his water polo buddies making cookies.....

Grandpa and Grand daughters at a polo game

Dinning in Parkcity (at a water polo tournament)

Kammy & Grandma in their matching waterpolo shirts:

Rylee's Company Picture

Celebrating Dad's new job with breakfast burrito's!

(Notice Kambree is with us!)

That night we celebrated with this 32 ounce prime rib!

(We shared!)

Austin eating an Auggie Brownie

 Make overs during water polo!

I CAN UNDERSTAND!!

Last night James and I took Austin, Ry & Alex to dinner. It ended up being quite the run around as Spice Bistro (where I really wanted to go) had a big fundraiser going on and closed to the public so we thought we'd go to the Hungry I  - we hadn't been there for years - apparently too many years as it's long since closed? I guess? There was another restaurant in it's place Red Butte Cafe or something? That we thought we'd try.  We sat down, looked at the menu and left. Austin's comment "We could eat this healthy kale stuff at home!" So back in the car - we've now driven ALL OVER THE VALLEY and Austin suggested Coachman's. It's almost 8 pm so at this point, we were game for anything! 

We had nice dinner is this very original 1970's diner. 

(It's so 1970's they don't take credit cards or debit cards - luckily I had a check book! Who takes checks these days? Coachman's!) 

While we were heartily eating and talking  Alex remarked quietly to me in a voice of awe - in fact, I'm not sure he realized he was talking out loud?  "I can't believe I can understand everything everyone is saying!" It was like a light just dawned on him? Me, taken back a bit and then having a realization asked,  "Did you think you'd never understand English?"  He nodded. I congratulated him and gave him a leg squeeze and then we went on with the business of eating and laughing - which is what we do best. 

But I've been thinking on his statement all day.  You mean to tell me it's taken this long for him to actually understand??? We are almost FIVE YEARS HOME and he is just NOW realizing he can understand English? I was baffled and have been thinking on it all day. I am thinking that for the past 5 years, while in group settings, he caught bits and pieces but never felt like he could keep up with the entire conversation?  Especially considering how we talk over each other, switch topics and talk so rapidly? At least during group conversations. He's always been better one on one. 

We've just figured he tunes us out? In fact we've been a little offended by it. When we have family over or a gathering or just even our immediate family together he mostly stares into space or tries to slip away to do something on his own. It just didn't dawn on me that it was because he just couldn't follow what was being said? I just thought he was aloof and anti social? No - it was probably just so much work to listen and understand? He was getting lost and couldn't follow what was being said. No wonder whenever we tried to draw him into a conversation his immediate response was "Huh?"
We'd actually had talks with him about participating and paying attention - more than a few times. We even had conversation 101 lessons.

But it was like an "Ah-ha" moment for him last night! He UNDERSTANDS US!

This little conversation took place just between Alex and me so I shared it at dinner tonight and pointed out that when I had his first IEP in 5th grade they told me it would take at least 4 years for him to be fluent. Maybe 5? And how proud I was of him. He seemed pretty proud too AND now that I think about it, he has been staying up with the conversations more - often times he gets confused when we've switched topics and he's made us bust up laughing asking us questions about one thing when we'd switched to another? (Rylee and I change topics pretty quick!) But the point is he's following and participating! Hurray! (And I'm just NOW realizing it myself!)

Today when I mentioned his milestone and that he thought he'd never learn English I was reminded of the conversation we had during the hosting program when he cried and cried because he just knew he'd never be able to learn English. I asked him if he remembered that conversation? He did. And I said, "And look at you now! It might have taken 5 years but you're fluent! I always believed you could!."  Alex grinned and said, "Yeah, you did."
It just makes my heart hurt a little to think that I already thought he was fluent?

Assuming he was just bored, rude or disinterested in our group conversations. 

((Sigh))

No mom points there. 

I just thought I'd share for any of you following along a few years behind us in the process. Maybe if your child is like that in a group setting, you can have a little more compassion and understanding than we did with our boy? 

Sincerely,

Wendy

The mom that keeps on learning that she has so much more to learn!

Keeping Up with the CKam's!

Kambree and Cameron haven't been able to come home much with their hotel job and school. But luckily Kam is an avid Instagramer so I get to see their cute faces when she posts. So....in an effort to keep them in our blog, this is just a bunch of Instagram posts I stole......