Alex Update

For the most part Alex has been doing great.

Last night he got all reminiscent about his past and the orphanage. He claims his favorite memory is when he "bonded" with Austin playing Nerf guns and making paper airplanes. He said they were "best buds" and then sighed, "And now he's at college....". I then asked what he remembers about when he figured out he was going to be adopted during the hosting program?  He said he just thought,  "Great! Now I can get out of there (the orphanage)!" I asked why?  "Because I got hit so much." I pried and asked if it was his school teacher or the staff who took care of him. "Both." He claims to have been punched in the head by one of his teachers and that he usually got hit daily from the staff (because he hated to take naps?) but what was most scary was that he shared how the big boys would hunt down the little boys and then just beat them up. For sport. They thought it was entertaining. He told me how he knew the building really well but still they found him. He thinks he was around eight years old? His brother Ivan came to visit and he told him about the beatings and Ivan asked a couple older boys to look out for Alex. After that he said after that the older boys were his "best buds". The one he remembers is his friend Sasha's older brother - he can't remember the name of the other boy. But he still had problems if his "protectors" weren't around.

He then told me how he'd like to go back there and "show them". That he could just pretend to be another orphan and then "let them have it." (Alex is 5 foot nine and I think he thinks he can fight like Jackie Chan? Not sure about that, but he can hold his own in a wrestling match with his brother or dad.)  I asked how old these boys were  when they use to beat him up? He guesses around 15. I then pointed out that if they were 15 even when he left the orphanage by now they'd be 20 and no longer at the orphanage. That seemed to curb his enthusiasm for going back under the disguise of an orphan and beating the snot out of them.

Sunday I wore a retro 90's dress suit to church - complete with shoulder pads and Alex loved it! He always lays his head against me during sacrament meeting and loved the padded shoulders. "Your shoulders are too bony!"  He then told me I needed to get some pads for my thighs? My thighs? I then reminded him it's my hip bones he complains about - not my thighs. (There's plenty of padding there.) At night he'll come throw himself across me while I'm reading in my bed (I have a really tall bed so he's sort of hanging off and then laying across my tummy) and he's banged his head on my hip bones one too many times.  The first time he was sure something was wrong with me? He tried to convince me I had a broken bone or something? Nope, just hip bones that haven't protruded until recently. 

Today I substitute taught at the junior high and I had the pleasure of subbing for Alex's art class. I warned him I was coming. He called me "mom" the entire time and didn't seem to mind that I was there OR letting the class know I was his mother. Some of the class didn't believe I was his mom. One boy said "He's your son? .....I'm sorry." I don't think Alex is the most angelic student. In fact, I know he's not.  It was interesting to observe him in this social setting. He is most definitely one of the cutest boys in the class. Tall and clean cut BUT I can tell he is a follower not a leader. He just goes along with the crowd. Ah, my heart. He had warned me that a lot of kids swear in art. I can believe that. The teacher is really free spirited and lets the kids listen to music while they work on their art and it's super chaotic and noisy. Most of them just goof off. I was disappointed to see Alex also goofing off and just going along with the crowd.  He gets good grades in art and finishes quickly (he's rather talented in art) but he waste a lot of time being entertained by some not so savory boys. Needless to say we had a BIG talk on the way home. Then I shared with James my observations and he had another talk with him. I hope he can develop leadership skills and set an example as opposed to just following along? (((Sigh))) So many life lessons. 

When I mentioned his behavior to James both Devree and Rylee told me he is not the "golden boy" he appears to be. They mentioned his "U" in citizenship for not dressing for gym. Oh dear. I think James shared some great insights with him. He thinks the world of James and tends to appreciate his opinion more than mine. Let's hope he can figure this out and find good friends. Luckily he doesn't hang out with these kids in a social setting - just in art class.  

My mama bear instincts kicked in this week. I can't go into details but just a fair warning, don't mess with my boy. I haven't gotten my mama bear hairs up in awhile and they came out in full force last week. After I calm down and can see straight, it's such a witness of the love I have for Alex. All my children for that matter. Don't mess with my babies. I've been cross-fitting lately and I will take you out.

Tonight he had to write a persuasive paper on why hunting was a good thing. He was copy and pasting phrases off the internet and I told him he had to write his own thoughts and ideas. He seemed exasperated about it. So we broke it down. What three persuasive arguments are you going to use? With a little prodding and examples he came up with his three and wrote the entire paper himself.  THEN he asked me to help proof it!? (I am always volunteering and he has yet to ask for my help this year.) The thoughts were his, I just helped with some sentence structure and word choices.  He was so appreciative afterwards. He hugged me and thanked me. "I think I'll get an A on this paper!"  He then said he wouldn't be scared to ask me to help him with his papers in the future?  I asked why in the world he would be afraid of me? "I'm not afraid really, it's just that you correct me so much." I explained that might be true but that I'm the coach in his corner, giving him water, bandaging up his cuts and encouraging him to get out there and give 'em a right upper hook. He laughed.

It's true, I am in his corner.

I just don't want him going to Ukraine passing out any right upper hooks!