Conflicting Reports...

I checked on Alex's grades yesterday and found he's getting a D+ in Health.
Nice.
I emailed his teacher and besides one missing assignment - that's he's turning in today - I got this:

I can tell you that he talks way to much in class.  I have spoken to him about being disruptive in class twice already.  His behavior will keep him from doing his best work if not controlled.  We discussed him in Team Meeting yesterday....many teachers are concerned about his success.

Yet, in English -he is getting an A - I got this:

I'm glad to hear Alex is liking junior high!  He really is doing well in English; he struggled at first with raising his hand to ask questions, staying in his seat, not blurting out, etc., but he's really improved with those behaviors in the last couple weeks.  He's such a smart kid!

Hum....so is the TEAM really concerned about his success? Or is it something more with the Health teacher? According to Alex, she's boring. (He does a fabulous impersonation of her nasally whining voice. Which, I know isn't nice but it's so accurate that it's hard not to laugh.) My older three - who have all had the same teacher - side with Alex but he does need to stop talking in class.

However, despite the fact that talking and blurting out answers is wrong, isn't it a little great that he has enough confidence to do so? That at least he's listening enough to blurt out answers? I don't know. I have to give him a little credit there. 

As for the staying in his seat.....he is a wiggly kid. At dinner on Sunday he was kneeling on the bench with his bum in the air and I had to ask him to sit on his behind. "Why, I am not on a date?" I explained that he can't just miraculously have great manners on a date if he doesn't practice it at home. I don't think he agrees with me. I also made him take his elbows off the table. Such a mean mom, I know.
I sent the following email to all his teachers:


I got the following email from one of Alex's teachers:
"...I can tell you that he talks way to much in class.  I have spoken to him about being disruptive in class twice already.  His behavior will keep him from doing his best work if not controlled.  We discussed him in Team Meeting yesterday....many teachers are concerned about his success."
I  have found with Alex that direct and straight forward is the best way to handle every situation, that he does not learn by example, or subtleness. Needless to say we'll be discussing his behavior tonight. Could you please let me know if he is being disruptive in your class and/or if there are any behavior issues we should address at well?
He is a good boy but he takes social cues from those around him and doesn't always make the best choices with his behavior if he has the chance to be funny or the center of attention. 
Any input or feedback you can give me would be greatly appreciated.
~Wendy Richhart

So, I guess well see what the other five teachers have to say.

He started making a "video" journal as one of his days of journal-ling. It was short lived because yesterdays video was 6 minutes and 48 seconds of him trying to add up the money he's going to make mowing lawns this month and the cost of  a cell phone. He's determined at the end of the month he can buy a crappy Cricket phone and pay for service for two months. 6:48 minutes of him adding and subtracting and wiggling around without him really talking in full sentences proved that "video" journal-ling is not working.

However, here is last weeks journal video. The sound's not so good but the kid sure is cute.

She said "YES"!

Austin's homecoming date that is!

She doorbell ditched this HUGE bucket of Oreo cookies on our doorstep Sunday, late afternoon. 

Poor girl, probably had a problem making the drop off as Austin and Alex were running around the yard trying to assassinate each other with Airsoft bb guns. Yes, I know it's Sunday but my rule is playing with FAMILY only so....meh? The boys had came in to show me Alex's welts on his chest and arm - which he showed off with pride - right before the doorbell rang. 

(Yes, Alex's face is this red due to running from Austin for the past hour.)

Jeff and Troy were there and helped open all the Oreo's. 

Devree got the lucky one that said....

Oh, a little closer you say.....

Confessions in Kiev....

A friend of mine - currently in Ukraine finishing the last steps of adopting  two boys - reminded me of an incident that happened when I was in Kiev with Alex.  An incident I chose not to blog about as it does not paint me in the best light but now that he's been home and has survived his first couple of years, I think I will confess and add this to our adoption journal.

Here goes....

When you fly half way around the world to a foreign country to adopt a street wise orphan, your sense of right or wrong gets a little skewed. You feel more like the child that can't understand people and/or what's going on around you. You are there to pay and sign. Sign and pay. What you are signing and what you are paying for is often times not explained to you. You just do it and hope that whatever you are signing and paying for will get you one step closer to getting on that plane and going home with your new child in hand. You just nod and smile and hope everyone around you does not think you are the idiot you feel like.

So that's where I was, Nodding and smiling and delayed a WEEK due to passport picture issues when the unthinkable happened.

I lost Alex.

In downtown Kiev.

It was stupid and my fault. He wanted to go to the store and I let him go. We had been together everyday through the ten day wait and then another ten days solid and we were both going stir crazy! There was a little store across the parking lot that I assumed he was asking to go to and I didn't think anything of it. I gave him money. I think he was wanting a snack and to buy me chocolate? Yes, chocolate is what I needed to get through the day so, off he went. 

And then he didn't come back.

For a very long time.

In fact, after an thirty minutes, I walked to the store to see what was taking so long. No Alex. Anywhere. Our apartment was just minutes from "the square" and the heart of the city and all of a sudden it hit me. What have I done? I thought of downtown Salt Lake and how I would NEVER let my children wander around alone there. Never! And what had I just done? Let Alex do that very thing only in a much bigger city! I had no idea what to do. How could I explain this to the police. What was he wearing? Do I even have a printed out photo to show around? 

Luckily, Amy and Mary were with me - and they offered to go look for him and told me to stay put in case he came back to the apartment. I was frantic. Here I was his mother for just over a week and I lost him! Oh my gosh. 

I realized just what a terrible mother I was to this boy already. The fact that he could understand people and had to do the talking for us, gave me this warped sense of his ability to take care of himself. Not to mention that he had pretty much been taking care of himself most of his life? Unless you've been there, you don't understand what it's like to not be able to understand people. He could. He could talk to people, ask questions and he was respected and recognized by the adults we had transactions with because I was backing him with my fist full of Grivina and blank look. I had grown lax. I had assumed too much. Kiev is not a family friendly city and unlike Dnipro where he roamed the streets and knew every nook and cranny, he had never been there before.

What was I thinking?

I kept thinking about all the irresponsible parenting I had dished out so far: I  had given him money to go buy and haggle with the street vendors while I checked emails and wrote blogs at the Internet cafe. He was no where in sight as I desperately made contact with home. He could have very easily been kidnapped, hit by a car or carried off by a pack of stray dogs.

I had him navigate us to a terrible Mexican restaurant - where it was rumored we could get real Mexican food. He was the lone native speaker leading a bunch of adults through the subway AT NIGHT. Would I expect that of my home grown children at age ten? Please. 

I had  him order at all the restaurants for the both of us,  tell the waitress I wanted ice in my drink, and ask for directions and instructions. He did all this and more.  He would even check our bill and count the change and make sure we were not being taken advantage of. 

He would warn ME not to step on the man-hole covers (where there were any) pantomiming how I would fall down the hole and die and hush me up in the stores so people wouldn't hear my English and try to rob us blind. He would carry my bags and remind me to lock the doors. He really took care of me and yet HE was the one that needed a mother? Wat kind of mother did he get? One that let him wander off in a major, crowed city full of people (with questionable morals based on their dress and inebriated walk), with no address, no phone number, no way to call me. I'm not even sure he knew my full name.

I could picture the headlines: "Brrusht furcust ver gerrs htick zer surk zerer stera" Translation:  "Dumb American loses child with in days of becoming his mother!"
An hour later he walked in without a care in the world with package in hand!
I wanted to hug him and strangle him at the same time!!

Yes, he went to the store but not the little store across the parking lot. He went to some store clear across the square  that he had seen earlier that day, the line to pay was long and it took an hour but here was my chocolate. I wanted to hug him and strangle him all at the same time! 

I was minutes away from calling my translator to help me contact the police.

I-Yi-Yi!

So, there you have it. 

The truth.

9/11 May We Never Forget....

All week my youngest two children have been coming home telling me about 9/11. They act as if I don't know about this tragic event? I realize for Alex this is all new information for him* - not growing up here and all but I thought Rylee was pretty familiar with the attack.
* I did talk to Alex about 9/11 last year sometime when he wanted to make an art project about the "towers that got hit by plane" only because he found it cool, like boys do when they think of war and guns and fighting - he didn't grasp the sadness and significance of the attack. I couldn't seem to get him to understand, I finally just told him he had to find something else to focus his art project on much to his dismay.

Upon realizing this is the tenth anniversary of the attacks and that Rylee is only 11 1/2, it hit me. Of course she doesn't remember! She was here but just a baby. And as much as I feel we're a patriotic, apple pie eating, American loving family, it's not something we talk about very often. (Unless you're making a cartoon about it for art!)

It was just so sad and tragic.

I think 9/11 is one of those events that you never forget when and where you were when you were made aware of it. Just like older folks that remember when and where they were when John F Kennedy was shot. I know where I was when I heard about the attacks, I was right here, sitting in my office. I had a little TV in my office then so my littles could watch PBS while I worked. I can't remember if someone called or if I had the TV on and it came across the screen, I just remember the panic and the search for my mom and brother who were flight attendants and working at the time. I know that for most of my family when they remember their when and where, it will be "When my sister/daughter, Wendy called and told me to turn on my TV."  I wrote a post about it a while back on the day OSB was killed. 

I am so glad my children are learning in school about 9/11. And I vow to do a better job of teaching them about important historical events at home.

Alex wrote this in his journal this week:

In Utah Studies we watched a movie about Twin Towers. The sad part is the people were jumping off Twin Towers and Twin Towers getting hit by a plane. I am grateful that some people survived from the Twin Towers.

His teachers this year have managed to convey to him what I couldn't get through to him last year. The horrible sadness, the loss of innocent lives, the terror of that day.

Has it really be TEN years?

It seems like just yesterday.

I feel so badly for the families that lost friends, family and loved one's that day. Some were just going to work like any other day or taking a flight. Others were trying to save those that were attacked. They rushed in without thought for their life in order to save another. I am sure there is a place in the Kingdom of Heaven for these fire fighters, paramedics and police.

I feel badly for the families that have lost soldiers who went to war because of the attacks.
How many children have lost parents? How many wives have lost husbands? Husbands lost wives? Children lost both parents? Grandparents? Aunts, Uncles?

9/11 is just so sad. So tragic and we should never forget.

We're watching footage and a documentary on 9/11 this morning. How unfortunate that when I checked out Netflix, the first movie to pop up was on the conspiracy of 9/11 comparing it to some of the atrocities  committed by Hitler.  I have to remind myself, that this is what sets the United States apart from so many other countries. Freedom of speech.

God Bless America.

For some odd reason....

I didn't publish some of my posts over the last year. 

I was looking in my blog for a certain article for one of our families having issues with her school district and noticed a BUNCH of unpublished posts?

I cleaned them out today, publishing the one's I think I missed and deleting the duplicates.

Sorry for plugging up your reader!

Homecoming??

I came home from my SAC lunch (Thanks everyone that came, it's so nice to catch up with each other.)  to Austin announcing in a rush, "I need your help!" 
I have been bugging him about going to homecoming. This being his senior year and all but his answer? "I've already been to homecoming." 

Good grief.

Well, apparently he has decided to go (Because his friends are going? Thanks Austin's friends!) but he heard it through the grape vine (or from this girls friends) that someone else was going to ask the girl he wanted to ask today (Supposedly said girl would really rather go with him? Ahh...the drama of high school.). So, time was of the essence!

Time to put on my creative-cool-ingenious-spontaneous mom cap! And quick!!
(Insert sounds of heroin music -face paced and full of energy - right here.)
I had lots of ideas (we do have a spare toilet in our side yard. Imagine the possibilities??)  but due to my impossibly quick deadline, this is what we ended up with......

"It makes a lot of "cents" 

for you to go to 

homecoming with me. 

Will you?"

???

And we filled a jar with over 1,000 pennies with his name spelled out one letter at a time on 14 out of the thousands of pennies. (I even tied a bow on the jar much to Austin's dismay, "Mom, that's gay." Well? That's what you get with a mom helping my friend. A little fru-fru!!) 

No, we did not have over a thousand pennies just lying around. Austin ran to Smiths and bought rolls of pennies while Devree, Alex and Rylee scrounged through the house for all our spare pennies they could find. I made up the little saying and Dev wrote his name with Sharpie on the pennies. Austin arrived with the rolls of pennies, unwrapped and dumped them in the jar and we were set!

The poor girl was at soccer practice and I had a brilliant plan! I talked Devree into wearing the Yettie suit and hand delivering it to her on the soccer field! (As she knew who the girl was by sight - if not I would have done it! Yea, I'm crazy that way. In hind sight, we should have had Austin dress up as he's so much bigger and walks and runs like a guy but it worked out fine all the same.)

Here is Devree in our fabulous Yettie outfit (I knew this costume was going to be a great investment when I bought it three or four years ago! We use it all the time!)  with 5 pound jar of pennies before we left:

We all jumped in the car (because everyone wanted to watch) and we were off! 

It turned out great, just wish I had a camera that would zoom in WHILE I was videoing....

 
This is the stuff that makes being a mom so dang fun!

Can't wait to help Devree answer her date!
Maybe then I can wear the Yeti suit!

Still Needs A Mama....

The speech teacher from the junior high just called. She had just given Alex a test and told me how well he was doing and hoping he'll be wrapping up speech therapy at the end of the school year. Woot! I asked what class she'd be pulling him out of? I gave a plug to pull him out of his least favorite class "Functional Literacy" because A: he doesn't like it and B: none of Alex's friends or peers are in it with him so it will save him the embarrassment of being pulled out of a regular class. (Yes, mom points for me!) She thought that would work great.
I talked to her about his "th" sound - as his IEP addresses the "s" sound and she agreed that he had a few more sounds to work on, then I explained  that we adopted him from an orphanage for children with speech disorders.  I asked, "You did realize he was from another country right?"
"Oh yes. I figured something like that."
"Oh good, he doesn't usually like to tell anyone, he keeps it on the low down."
"Well , he didn't actually come out and tell me. I asked him to tell me about himself but he didn't mention anything about being adopted. Then I asked him to tell me more and he did but still nothing about Ukraine or being adopted. Finally I asked if he had always lived in the country and he admitted he hadn't."
Ha! Nothing about Ukraine. Nothing about being adopted. Zero. Nada. I told her that he is 100% here and just wants folks to think he's always been here. I am fine with that except I think some of his teachers need to know he's only been in the country for just over two years and still struggling with the language. She said he was doing amazing. I was tickled. That's my boy. My all American boy.

Alex decided he wanted to start blogging again. I had to help him with his post a lot and I'm not sure it's going to help his English as much as journal writing. I'm thinking maybe I'll just let him publish his post in their original form? Mistakes and all? Before I was correcting in a different color but I hate to mark up his posts for all to see. Well, see. Last time blogging died off quickly. It might again. (Stop by and say "Hi" if you feel inclined. He loves comments!)

Last night I was examining the scratch he got riding his bike. It's on his arm and it's sort of bruising around the scratch. He got it on his way to school yesterday on his bike. It looks very tender and sore and I asked if he cried? He looked at me with a look of disdain and obvious disgust. 

"No."  

Teasingly I said,

"Oh, okay. You are thirteen now. I guess you don't cry for your mama any more when you get hurt?" 

"No, I didn't cry for my mama."
He was laying against me - tucking ME into bed  - because he was so slow at getting to bed - I was already in bed, reading. I was rubbing his head and I asked,

"When do you cry for your mama?"
He answered without any hesitation or embarrassment,

"I  cry for my mama when I get HUGE hurt."
And I reminded him,

"Oh, and in a freezing, cold snow cave when you can't get warm?" 

"Yes. And in the middle of night at scout camp when bugs bite me." 

"So you still need a mama?" 

"Yes.....to give me food." 

"Oh, so you need me to feed you?" 

"Yes, and teach me English."
And he sighed and hugged me real tight.

Thirteen.
Thirteen year old's still need their mama's.
And it sure is nice to hear that they do......

Rockport Labor Day Weekend!

Saturday the Fishermen/woman set out at o'six hundred to go fishing.....

Love this picture of Alex and James in their matching "do" rags.

Here comes grandpa with the bigger boat.

The rest of us didn't meet until 8:30 ish and leisurely got to the lake around 9:30 am. 

The younger kids immediately started to build sandcastles because it was too cold to even consider getting in the water.

The big kids fell asleep waiting for it to warm up.....

and some tried to study....

One of the fishermen was still intent on catching a fish. No bites during the morning.

The sand village....

The beach girls:

The tube boy's heading off on an adventure:

On "Gwampa's" Boat

Getting pushed off the beach.....

Recruiting MORE help to push us off the beach!

Austin:

Kambree:

Devree: 

The Captain:

Troy:

The newest boat was the tubing boat and the younger kids got lots of tubing time in.

And right before we left - the smallest three found this mud pit!

Yes, that is MUD not knee-high stockings!

All and all  it was a lovely day. Beautiful weather, good company and no major injuries. A few sunburns and sore muscles but that's to be expected!
Goodbye summer. You will be missed!

Family Update

In bullets!

• Rylee is in a child's theatrical production of Cinderella. She is cast as a stepsister. Rehearsals started today. Three times a week through October. Yep.
• Austin is in a kick ball league. No idea when it starts but I did have to sign a wavier about concussions. Makes me a little nervous.
• Devree is in MAG (Murry Association of Girls) and has early morning meetings each Tuesday. Luckily they're not that early and Austin has agreed to get her to school by 7:30 instead of their regular start time of 7:50.
• Kambree is loving school. Loving her roommates. Meet a new guy named Riley. Which will be weird if anything comes of that, so let's hope it doesn't. (Sorry Kam.) 
• Alex is getting an F in Utah Studies. Nice. But according to all his older siblings it's not his fault but his teachers as she's "stupid" and "scatterbrained". And since the only missing assignment he has is a chapter test he said he turned in yesterday, I'm thinking the older siblings might be right? Great. A stupid teacher. Just what we need. (He's getting A's in all his other classes -except one where he's getting a B.)
• James is home and attempting to fix all the broken things around the house. Like the latch to the back hatch of my Sequoia and the window that won't roll down. Apparently the window issue is a factor glitch but because it's not a safety issue, Toyota is not replacing it for free. Their solution? Just shut the hatch hard or bang on it until the motor kicks in and starts working again. Great. (Cost of motor? $300. Yep. I'm going with the slamming option.)
• Dance classes start this week. Ry has Senior Starletts on Monday nights for two hours. Devree has class on Thursday nights for an hour and 1/2.
• Austin has decided to take piano lessons with everyone else. I was worried it was because we have such a cute piano teacher but he assures me it's because he really wants to learn to play the piano. He plays all the time, just his own compositions.
• Austin is also the lead singer in a band. Yes, you read that right. A band. Haven't heard or seen said band but he and his friends have organized a band and plan to play at various busy locations with the hopes of people just dropping money in their hat. He told me I could come if I brought ten dollars. I suggested I bring drinks and treats and he said that would be okay too. I will certainly be bringing my camera too!
• Devree has a little job babysitting my cousins kids every Tuesday night for a few hours. 
• Austin has been scheduled back at the bakery starting next Saturday. Woot! He's working!!
• James is busy ordering fabric and labels to continue manufacturing and selling the Glummy. He's got a connection that has sold a few to some gas stations and they want more!
• Kambree's coming home this weekend because I lured her home with a family water ski trip scheduled for Saturday. 
• I started a new cleaning schedule of the house when the kids went back to school. The fact that the only new news about me is this pathetic tid-bit of information tells you so much about my life right now. Boring.
• Devree passed her written driving exam and now has her learners permit. She LOVES driving and is always suggesting we go places where she can drive. It's going to be a long year.
• Alex had a lesson on scrubbing his "boy" neck. I'm not sure what it is but boys tend to get this brown, flaky, dirty gunk on their neck. I have asked him to scrub his neck better for a couple of weeks but he claims it's just a "tan". I took him upstairs and with a washcloth and soap and lots of giggles - because he is so ticklish - scrubbed his "tan" off.  I remember doing the same thing for Austin at this age.
• Austin and Devree are both in performances choirs this year and have the opportunity to go on choir tour. This will require them each coming up with close to $600. I agreed to pay 1/2 which means they need to come up with the other half. So, if you need an muscle (Austin) or babysitting (Devree) let them know.
• Rylee's school is selling Happenings Books. She sold one to my mom. Austin and Devree came home two days later announcing that they too are selling Happenings Books to raise money for their choir tour. My cute nephew Tyler just showed up trying to peddle one to me from his school. What the heck? That's three different schools all in our area having the same fundraiser. Someone didn't think that through very well.
• Oh, here is something more about me. I am addicted to Pinterest. If you don't know what that is, then just forget about it. Trust me. You do not want to know anything more. If you are into Pinterest - let me know so I can follow you too!

And that's all I can think of for now. Over and out!

Same Thing, Different Day....

Alex called my cell phone yesterday at 2:27 pm.

Mom, I don't have jobs today. I practice piano. Can I  hang out with Brach?

You practiced your piano?

Yes

For how long?

Thirty minutes.

Are you sure.

Yes.

Alex, you get out of school at 2 pm, you have to get home and now it is 2:27 pm. How could you have practiced your piano for thirty minutes?

I did. I got out of school at 1:55. I set timer. I practice for thirty minutes....

I interrupted and told him we'd have to talk about it when I got home. To not go anywhere, I would be home in a minute.  I came home to a sulking boy sitting and waiting. 

I took him into my office and told him that I would love to believe what he says but I can't. I can only make my decisions on what I KNOW to be true. Not on anything he says. I WANT to believe him but I can't because he has lied so much to me in the past. (This is a totally different tactic then our past talks/lectures/wailing sessions.)  I KNOW that school gets out at 2 pm but even if it got out at 1:55. I KNOW you cannot take your back pack to class so I KNOW you needed to go to you locker, get your stuff, go to your bike, unlock your bike and ride home and that would take at least ten minutes. I also KNOW that the first thing you do when you come home is have a snack. He interrupts with "I didn't have a snack." I said, "That my be true but how am I suppose to believe you? This is part of losing your trust. I cannot believe what you say because you keep telling me lies so I can only go with what I KNOW and I KNOW that you have a snack right after school. I also can see the time that you called my cell phone asking to hang out with Brach. Can you see the time? Yep 2:27 pm. So, if I do some basic math - even based on getting out at 1:55 and NOT having a snack, there is NO WAY you couldn't possibly have practiced for thirty minutes." 

Busted.

And he knew it.

But he also had a different look of understanding. I can't really explain it. It was like he understood he couldn't be trusted and what it really meant to be trusted. He kept nodding - but not in his robot way - when I explained how I cannot believe the things he says because of his past history. I don't know. I feel like we may be making headway? That rather than the moral talks, stories and examples that I have dished out by the fist full, over the past two years, that he finally got it! "She cannot believe me."

In his journal he wrote about our incident but  neglected to mention "My mom didn't believe me because I have lied so often to her in the past." Yep. You bet. I made him add it.

Our journal deal is this, if he can write a journal entry with three or less mistakes (spelling, punctuation, sentence structure) and write at least ten sentences that tell  a story or event in the correct time line without any major missing information,  he can skip journal writing the next day! (I had been holding off on journal writing trying to gage his junior high homework level and since it's usually a few  math problems and reading, journal writing has been incorporated back into his life. No. He is not happy.) 

Journal writing I am hoping will help with sentences like this: 

"Do's anyone want last chicken?"  

and 

"May you get me fork?" 

Despite the tone and topic of the post, he has been a sweet boy, telling me he loves me, hugging me and looking right into my eyes when we talk. I think our "send me back to the orphanage" day really scared him. (It scared me.) We talked more about it and he knows that I would never send him back and I know that he doesn't want to go back. Ever. 

Someday, this boy will tell the truth or at least stop holding to his lie like a bull dog with a T-bone in his mouth. I have hope for him yet.

I can always have hope, right?