My Ukrainian German....

The last few Wednesdays I've been helping direct Alex's class in a little play. Our scene was the battle of Trenton. Alex was a German solider. He had memorized his part early and was very excited to perform. He told me he wasn't nervous-like the rest of his class-just excited. We worked hard on talking loud and slowly. He had some hard words like "triumph" but he didn't forget any of his lines or cues. I could tell he was in fact nervous but not any more so than anyone else.

It's hard for me to direct children. All children, not just Alex. Especially when they have no idea how to project, or any sort of stage direction. But he did okay, in fact he did just as well as some of the other children-he does have a little accent but it's hard to place just what kind of accent it is. Too bad it wasn't German. That would have been lovely.

Introducing.....

She made it!
Devree is the Vice President of the 9th grade!
Whoootwhoo!

Tonight Alex came down at 8:40 pm on the dot.
Mom, come tuck me in?
Alex, are you going to bed now?
Yes. Last night you said.
I had completely forgotten that I told him and Rylee they had to be to bed at 8:40 pm. Twenty minutes early because they were up 20 minutes past their bed time last night. Good grief, my parenting skills are lacking.
I was so proud of him for following through on his own.
He had walked home from school today with TWO girls and at dinner tonight he proudly announced that one of them HUGGED him! While I tucked him in we talked a little more about kisses. We talked about how 5th grade is just too young for kissing or even thinking about them.
He agreed.
He said he'll wait until he's seventeen. (Well, that's better than twelve right?)
I then told him HIS kisses were just too special to give to just any girl and even when he's seventeen he better really like her and think she's special.
He agreed again.
When I praise Alex or tell him he's special he just lights up. His eyes just twinkle. It's like it fills him up from the inside. I've never seen it so visible in a child before. Of course everyone likes to be told they're good at things, or special but with Alex it's like he's been so deprived of praise and love in his little life that he just basks in it.
I leaned down and told him he could always give his special kisses to me and with that he planted one right on my cheek.

Music, Ownership & Update

Yesterday morning Alex was getting ready for school and was singing:

"Schools out for-ever!"

Me: Alex, I think the song goes "Schools out for summer."

To which he looked at me with surprised eyes and asked,

"Mom how you know that song?"

Like I would never listen to such a rocking song. Please. That song is older than I am.

However, I'm always baffled that my kids don't know I'm not a hundred years old! I had one child ask me if I wore a poodle skirt to school. My MOM didn't even wear poodle skirts. (Although my brother-when very young-once asked my mom if she rode a dinosaur to school! Which is just slightly more of a dig than a poodle skirt wouldn't you say?)

I know time line's make very little sense to children. They probably at one time all thought I served tea and donuts while the Declaration of Independence was signed. (Sigh)

But back to Alex's music.

We put him in piano lessons at the start of school. We have the sweetest Hawaiian man that comes to our home once a week. He teaches Alex, Rylee and Devree. Alex at first was excited to learn but since the skills didn't come overnight, his enthusiasm has waned. He asked me a few weeks ago how long he has to take piano lessons?

Me: Until you can play FIVE hymns.

Alex: FIVE? But I not even learning Hymns.

Me: Well then tell your teacher to start!

(I figured if he can get this across to his teacher and his teacher agrees that's fine with me!)

But recently Alex has taken up playing the guitar. He wears his MP3 player (not to be mistaken with an I-pod-he always corrects me when I say I-pod "I no have I-pod Mom!") and plays it full blast and strums the guitar. He thinks he's playing exactly like the song in his ears when really he's just randomly strumming. I'm hoping to catch a picture of this and maybe some video. It's priceless.

He asked me how much a guitar costs. I told him. He looked disappointed. "Alex, you don't have to buy your own guitar. We have two guitars. You can use our family's guitar. You don't want to buy your own piano do you?"

"No!" and he laughed.

He still struggles with OWNING things. Although we have roller blades that fit him He doesn't have his OWN roller blades. I know it's silly, but to him I think owning things gives him value. It's not that he wants to own things to not share because he willing shares all his things it's just the sense of owning that makes him feel important. Unfortunately the things he wants to own are very expensive and his $5 allowance bi-weekly is just not allowing for him to own all these big ticket items.

Yesterday, we worked on the work owe and own. He had left candy wrappers in his pockets for the umpteenth time and they had gone through the laundry. I had already found a bottle of power bait (from fishing) in the bottom of the washer earlier in the day and after pulling out wrappers in the dryer that Alex said were his I told him he owed me a ten minute job! (Work is the threat that triggers Alex to remember what he should do.) In his journal he wrote:

Today I forgot to emty my bacats (pockets-he struggles with putting a b where a p should be) and I nid (need) to own my mom a tem (ten) miunat (minute) evera (extra) work.

Own and owe. Complete opposites when you think about it. Yet so close in sound and spelling.

Alex walked home with one of the two girls he's crushing on. He was so very happy about it. After his bath last night he asked me if he smelled good. Yes, I said and covered his cheeks and forehead with kisses.

"Mom, how come girls don't kiss me like that?" I was taken back. "Alex, do you want girls to kiss you like that?" He grinned, and nodded. Hum...I don't know if I can handle TWO hormonal boys in my house at the same time. Later we talked and he confessed that he really just wants a kiss on the cheek. Whew. I thought he really wanted a girl to smoother him with kisses.

This morning he was all good smelling and wearing a nice shirt to go to school. "Oh la la!" I said to him to which he just smiled. He's not even embarrassed about this crush thing! Heaven help me when he gets older!

He did so well on his homework yesterday it made my eyes water. We were reviewing when to use a vs an and he got every problem perfect and told me which words started with vowels. I told him how proud I was of him and how perfect he did and he grinned and threw his arms around me. So happy.

The blessing he recorded last night was:

I am grateful I have a nice mom and dad.

We re-read ALL his blessings last night. There is quite a list. I told him from here on out he can just write down things he's thankful for. It doesn't have to be better here than Ukraine, just things he's grateful for. Like a healthy body or indoor plumbing. I made him a new book and I'm going to type up all his previous blessings and stick them in his scrapbook. I think someday he'd like to look back on all these things he wrote.

Well, because I don't OWN a million dollars and we OWE money to orthodontist, utilities and have a never ending grocery bill etc.. I need to stop writing, stop blog reading and get working this morning!

Mothers Day Recap....

My day started with breakfast in bed made and served by my Alex!

Scrambled eggs-enough for an army. Two pieces of toast and a HUGE orange all served with an economy size bottle of ketchup! (He LOVES ketchup so he's figuring I would too!) Last year he'd been home for less than two weeks when we had Mothers Day and he witnessed Rylee serving me breakfast in bed.
On the tray was the gift he made at school. A picture of him in a homemade frame, a sucker made into a flower and in addition to the first card (at the top of this post) I got a certificate that said
I love you because.....you are the best mom I had.
Since he's had more than one mom that's pretty cool isn't it?
Rylee ate one of the pieces of toast and Alex ate 3/4 of the oranges and half the eggs. (Thank goodness!)

After my breakfast Rylee gave me a back rub and an ear massage. If you've never had an ear massage you are missing out! She commented on how my ear lobes are attached to my head more than hers. Her's are more like her dads. Then she pointed out that mine are more like Alex's. Of course, I said because he's my son! To which Alex replied "Yeah when we get sealed my ears grow to my head like moms!"
We went to church and unlike last year, Alex got up and sang with the primary. My sweet Rylee just started crying right at the first and sobbed through both the Grandma song and the Mom song. Then she sat back down and sobbed some more. She has such a tender heart that when she feels the spirit she is moved to tears and then she cries harder because she's embarrassed that she's crying! So I spent the remainder of sacrament meeting trying to comfort her-to no avail!
After church I was showered with Rylee's gifts. A hand made necklace she made at achievement days (she has a smaller matching one) and a leather #1 key chain that she made at school. (Between Alex's many boondoggle creations, and now this, my key ring is getting pretty big!) Kambree gave me a cute mom necklace and earrings and a pack of gum.
Here's me with both my necklaces on:
Rylee and Alex also gave me flower seeds from primary. Kambree remarked that now I had work to do. (Plant the seeds) to which Alex quickly retorted. "No not today. She work tomorrow!"
Our ward always does a lovely Mom's brunch and this year was no exception.
Then we went home and James made a fabulous salad and we went to a BBQ my Dad had orchestrated and the menfolk did all the work!

BBQ
Brach & Alex pretending to be happy. They wanted to go to our house and jump on the trampoline but we made them stay with us.

This is truly how Alex looked. We call this his Ukraine smile.

Then I asked him for a G.Q. pose...

My beautiful Mom

Here's Syd and Ry eating cake right out of the box!

Jazz & Dev
Kam and James

Austin and our most recent new family member Hunter. My sisters dog.

Rylee & Alex
My mom gave my sister and I slippers. I LOVE slippers. I wear them everywhere. I just figure people can think I'm eccentric. I truly don't care. In fact I look forward to the day when I'm old enough for people to say "Oh, that's just old lady Richhart. She's crazy" and I'll be wearing whatever I want, color my hair blue and wear slippers everywhere of course! It may happen sooner than later. I find myself wearing things like my very old Old Navy jacket that now doesn't have the pull tab on the zipper that has paint AND hair coloring on it. I've tried to replace it but nothing feels the same. It's just comfy. It fits. The same for my favorite purple cardigan that has a hole at the neck and my going on eight year old wallet. I would have never thought I'd get so set in my ways that I can't replace such simple items. I remind myself of my father in law sometimes. He wore the rattiest, old, falling apart jacket. He had bought it at the DI and in my attempt to replace it I had researched it and found it was a Fed Ex deliver man's jacket. Irreplaceable. He liked the angle of the pockets and how his hands fit in them. I thought he was such an odd old man. Now? I'm seeing his side of things. Crazy? Yes. But so what? So, like I said, that title of "Crazy Old Lady Richhart" might come sooner than later!
We went home and I helped Alex with his homework and took a nap. (Sounds of angels trumpeting softly right here!)
After my nap James gave me my NEW DISHES! I had my eye on these dishes for weeks. Darling mult-colored melamine dishes from Costco. Did I NEED them? No. I just wanted them. I finally justified that I SHOULD get them because I could send Kambree to college with my old set. I loved the fact that they don't make loud sounds when plopped on the granite counter tops and because they are just so dang cute!
I knew they were not microwave safe but I figured I could use my old Correlle set for that. BUT imagine my disappointment to learn they were top shelf dishwasher safe only! I started goggling. Yep. Dishwasher top shelf only. The dinner dishes won't even FIT on the top shelf! There is no way I can keep these dishes. They are just not practical. Like I (and my children) are going to HAND WASH the dinner dishes? Please. James is all for returning them. He was disgruntled at the microwave issue and had called me from the store asking if I was sure about them. YES! But the dish washing is not something I can comprise on.
(Sigh)
All in all a very nice Mothers Day. Not too much guilt this year. Lot's of food, family and I didn't bake a thing or do a dish.
(Sigh)
But like Alex said, it's back to work tomorrow.....

Rylee's Dance Concert

I have no idea why this is side ways! I've rotated it and it appears upright but downloads sideways? Anyway, here is Rylee in her dance costume after her performance last Monday.

Getting Grandma hugs

With Alex

With Kam

With Dev

With Grandparents!

Austin was there too but no where to be found during pictures.
He and Hayden and Alex entertained themselves with their I-pod touches and Game Boys until Rylee performed. She was the 23rd dance out of 25!
This morning Rylee and Alex were helping me eat my Mothers Day breakfast in bed and Rylee was sharing how nervous she is to try out for Junior Starlets this week. Alex told her:
Just dance like a rock star!
Rylee: What?
Alex: You will kick their butts!
Nice to have a brother that thinks you dance like a rock star and has so much confidence in you. I didn't know what a joy it would be to watch these two learn how to be brother and sister. They are so sweet. Last week Rylee was having a bad day at school and asked Alex for a hug which he willingly gave. AT SCHOOL never the less!
Rylee asked if she and a friend could go to our local park by themselves a few weeks ago. I don't like her going there with girlfriends yet the next day I let her go with Alex. She called me on it. "Why can I go with Alex and not my friend?" I had to think long and hard on that one. Why? Because Alex is street smart and looks out for her. That's why. I know he wouldn't let anything bad happen to her. He took care of himself roaming the streets of Ukraine for ten years. I know he can take care of himself and Rylee. (Even when he was in the orphanage he did his own thing-scavenging for metal to take to the recyclers, going to the stores, holding his own, he really just came and went as he pleased.) But how to explain that to Rylee?
Then a few days ago Rylee out of the blue said
Ry: I like Alex's Ukraine Mom.
Alex, looking at her in disbelief shakes his head and says: Well, you shouldn't.
Ry: Well, I do or we wouldn't have you!
Alex looks a bit confused so I continued:
Yes, we wouldn't have you as part of our family if she hadn't given birth to you. We should be thankful for her. There's at least one reason to like her right Alex?
Alex: Uh....(not too sure) Okay. (And a shrug.)
It's taken him a while to figure out how to wear this big brother hat but he's getting it! By George, he's getting it!

Words of Wisdom from a Wonderful Woman

"We women have a lot to learn about simplifying our lives. We have to decide what is important and then move along at a pace that is comfortable for us. We have to develop the maturity to stop trying to prove something. We have to learn to be content with what we are."
— Marjorie Pay Hinckley

"Home is where you are loved the most and act the worst."
— Marjorie Pay Hinckley

"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails.
I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp.
I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children.
I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden.
I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder.
I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived."

— Marjorie Pay Hinckley

"I know it is hard for you young mothers to believe that almost before you can turn around the children will be gone and you will be alone with your husband. You had better be sure you are developing the kind of love and friendship that will be delightful and enduring. Let the children learn from your attitude that he is important. Encourage him. Be kind. It is a rough world, and he, like everyone else, is fighting to survive. Be cheerful. Don't be a whiner."
— Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Charity Never Faileth

"Think about your particular assignment at this time in your life. It may be to get an education, it may be to rear children, it may be to be a grandparent, it may be to care for and relieve the suffering of someone you love, it may be to do a job in the most excellent way possible, it may be to support someone who has a difficult assignment of their own. Our assignments are varied and they change from time to time. Don't take them lightly. Give them your full heart and energy. Do them with enthusiasm. Do whatever you have to do this week with your whole heart and soul. To do less than this will leave you with an empty feeling."
— Marjorie Pay Hinckley

"Be a Mother who is committed to loving her children into standing on higher ground than the environment surrounding them.
Mother's are endowed with a love that is unlike any other love on the face of the earth."
— Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Mom thoughts...

"I love him and he could stay with us all night or into next week. What a darling boy. He's so well behaved and my baby just loves him. He was so cute with him. Carrying him around. What a sweet boy. He is just so cute. Very good looking. And manners? Please, he did better than my own children. I don't know what you were worried about."
Exact words from a mom and friend of mine that had Alex over last night for a late over. I was a little nervous as he'd never been to this friends house and although they're school mates, he lives about 2o minutes away so Alex couldn't just come home if he needed to. I know the mom super well and had shared my concerns when we set up this play date. She called last night while her husband was bringing him home to report. It was her son's birthday weekend and he could invite ONE friend over for dinner and playing and get a bigger birthday present OR he could have a party with many friends. He elected the one friend deal and chose Alex!
I don't know why I worry either. He is a good boy. He tries very hard. In fact when asked what he'd like to drink he told them Sprite he can't have Dr. Pepper. (What a good boy!) They had pizza and soda pop and played and played. He did ask to go home a little early complaining of being tired but secretly I think he was just ready to come home as he didn't appear tired at all or want to go to bed once he got home. He likes being home just like I like having him home. Having him gone is sort of like when you leave your baby with a sitter for the first time. You just wonder if he's okay, what he's doing and you realize just how much he fills up your life. I remember when James and I would finally slip away on a date when our kids were younger and all we'd do is talk about them!
When Alex came home he announced that "Chandlers baby brother love me!" the minute he walked in and he was so pleased with himself. He is very good with little kids. And he had so much fun. Yes, I worry all too much.
Today we spent the morning weeding and planting flowers as family. (Could you hear the groans coming from the Richhart home this morning?) Then James and I rushed to pick up our co-opp produce basket and the kids dispersed to friends and work and to take naps in the trailer. Anywhere were they would not be found by their parents in the event we got another brilliant idea to WORK as a family.
Alex came in later all red faced with his bike helmet on, rushing through the house. "Alex where are you going?" "I getting fishing pole. Me and Rylee fishing." We live very close to the Jordan River and he has been bugging James to take him fishing. James told him to go throw his pole in the river. I guess he and Rylee were on a bike ride and the decided to do just that.
He received his own pole from Devree from Christmas but Rylee doesn't have a pole so he was rummaging through the wood shed to find her a pole and get them both rigged. I was of no help. I finally took the tackle box in and asked James what hook? (He was in having a serious guy talk with Austin. Ahh the joys of teenage boys!) James had Alex bring the poles in the house and helped him rig them. He planned to send them off then thought he should go too-just to make sure they know how to cast and where to go. He said he'd be right back-as he does not have a license. That was 45 minutes ago. I hope he doesn't get caught without a license. The joys of men & boys and fishing!
Tomorrow is Mothers Day. Good luck everyone. Mothers day can be disheartening. I know I feel inadequate when I hear and or read about all wonderful, fabulous, extraordinary mothers doing incredible, selfless, fabulous things. Super hero mothers. How about the mother that had a son born without ears and later in life someone donated him ears. All his life he wondered why is mom had ugly long hair around her face. He was so embarrassed of her and her appearance, Then when she was on her death bed he found out she wore her hair that way to cover her lack of ears that she donated to him? Could this be true? I don't know. Stories like that. I don't think that's happy and uplifting.
I want to hear stories about mom's that don't always successfully juggle their schedules, are OCD about their children wearing matching clothes, combing their hair and bathing daily. Moms that worry, and hate to play Candy Land and don't know how to turn on the Wii. Mom's that sing silly songs when she doesn't have the words to cheer up or comfort a sad or grumpy child. (Even when the singing just make the grumpy child grumpier!) I want to hear that these children LOVE and appreciate their mom-even though she gives them a curfew, makes them eat veggies, lectures repeatedly, won't let them swear or say words like sucks, pissed and butt face. I want to hear that these kids turn out successful, happy, loving and have great memories of growing up with a mom that was spread thin, sometimes complained, often times yelled and loved them everyday. Just ordinary moms, doing ordinary things with ordinary-all be it cute and incredibly funny kids. That's what I want to hear about. Successful happy stories about mom's that are more like me and less like Wonder Woman!

The Game Of Mom w/some clarification added.

I spent the evening cleaning out my blog. Believe it or not, I have MANY post that I haven't ever posted. Mostly private/embarrassing/spiritual things. (I know, I am pretty much an open book so imagine how juicy they must be if they're too private for even me to publish?)

Anyway, I was going through my blog cleaning and posting a few that I don't know why I didn't post in the first place and copying the private one's on to my private blog that I started a few months ago as my journal-and deleting the half started never got anywhere post and I found this post. I wrote this in the December of 2008. I don't know why I didn't post it then but thought it was worth posting now especially with Mothers Day staring us in the eyes!

THE GAME OF MOM

I've often said to my friends that there should be a Mom Game. Like football or baseball but just for Mom's. No, not a league or anything requiring you to take more precious time out of your crazy days. A game you can play while your busy doing all your Mom things. Let me explain.

When a Mom does something amazing like a marathon day of getting kids to dance recitals, practices, performances, games, makes dinner, finds the lost ballet slipper etc there should be a phrase she can shout at the end of the day similar in exuberance to "touch down" or "home run". It could be "MADE IT!" or "HA, I'M STILL ALIVE!". In this game points will be given for all sorts of unappreciated Mom chores like:
Cleaning up barf without barfing herself
Finding lost things
Delivering homework/feminine hygiene products to school at a moments notice
Doing the laundry in ONE day
Remembering when your child is "this weeks super star" or student of the week
Sitting through any child production/performance more than once
Getting teenagers to school on time
Cleaning the bathrooms
Selling fundraiser items for child's team or dance group*
Remaining calm during all ER visits
Reading with 1st grader (or recently adopted English learning child*) nightly
Not losing your temper after telling your children to get to bed for the 10th time
Picking up flipping goldfish off the floor or out of the garbage disposal.
Anything you do for the PTA or as room mother
Driving carpool
Driving with a child with a learners permit*
And the list goes on...
In this game each activity/chore will be worth certain points and there will be no negative points as long as you and your children are all still breathing at the end of the day.
This way and the end of each day you can tally your points up.
Let's see today I...
Made breakfast +5
Remembered to send lunch money to school +3
Drove Carpool +3
Returned over due library books AND paid the fee +4
PTA Meeting +5
Started Laundry +3
Remembered child's orthodontist appointment +6
Picked up supplies to make school assigned Indian village +5
Finished folding laundry while making dinner & listening to child recap day in 3rd grade +10
Drove BOTH ways to dance class +5
Helped child with algebra +3
Bandaged both knees AND put chain back on bike +20
Got kids in bed before 10pm +5
For a total of 74 points!!
Every time you get 25 points you shout out a victory phrase like "Mom is great" and do a victory dance while the family cheers enthusiastically.
CLARIFICATION ADDED TODAY!
(All italic's and * items I added today!)
There are NO negative points!
Even if you burn dinner
Forget to sign permission slips
Call you child by the wrong name
Forget to give child required antibiotics
Correct homework....wrong!
Tape up a hem because you don't have time to sew it or don't even know how to sew or want to blow the dust off your sewing machine!
Drive to the wrong practice, dance class, pick up etc
Don't sign up to be a field trip chaperon for the fifth time this year
Space a birthday party invite
Write embarrassing things on your blog about your children
Yell, swear or lose your temper
Hide in the pantry to eat the last piece of cake
You name it.
NO NEGATIVE POINTS!
And this is NOT a competition with other moms! If you make 5 points and your friend makes 105....who cares! We have enough competition/guilt/feelings of inadequacy. This is a game to support and encourage this lovely and fleeting moment of motherhood! To add some cheering and funky chicken victory dances to the overlook and mundane chores you do each day. Hurray for us! We're all on team MOM!
What do you think? You want to play?

Spring Fever

Been so busy.

Have pictures to post but no time to down load them.

However, I wanted to write about this before I forget the details.

Spring is in the air at the Richhart home-depsite the rain, snow and wind of the previous weeks. Kambree's on cloud nine and since she keeps a blog I will leave it up to her to share that if she chooses too.

Austin has suddenly found that girls are fun to hang out with and he and his friends are continually planning activities with girls (many I have never met or seen before) and/or having them over to jump on the trampoline/play video games/eat our food.

I think I should have installed a revolving back door the way the kids come and go through the house. That and a drinking fountain-outside!

Alex came home and told me he likes TWO girls, Katie and Lexy. He's not sure which he likes most and he's of the opinion that he can handle both girls anyway. He asked Katie for a hug two days ago. To which Rylee and Devree shrieked "Creeper!" Katie just walked away from Alex. But he doesn't seem to care about his sisters opinion or Katie's reaction. He is a man on a mission.

Kambree upon hearing he has these crushes teased him with a "Oh Alex, are you starting to like girls?"

To which he indignantly answered, "No. I always like girls. Since I was five!"

That night as I tucked him into bed I gave him a hug and told him I would hug him even if Katie won't. To which he replied very self assured, "Oh, she will hug me mom. Maybe not till I'm big-like 6th grade-but she will hug me!"

Oh my. Nothing like self confidence.

The next day I went upstairs to remind them it was time to leave for school and was hit with the over powering scent of men's body spray permeating through the entire upstairs! Wooweee! It was strong. "Alex, you're really working on that hug aren't you?'

"Yep!"

This morning he went to school again wafting in body spray. I also noticed a definite strong smell of soap after is bath the other night.

Glory be and the saints be praised!

I've been working on him smelling good for a year, and all it took was a cute girl and a quest for a hug!! Who would have thought?