I know I haven't blogged much. Partly due to my new job - that I think I may have a handle on now - but mostly due to nothing really exciting or note worthy to blog about.
Which is note worthy all the same as it means that Alex is doing well. Whew. There were times in the past two years and nine months that I never thought I'd be able to say that. But he really is doing well. His grades were all A's, B's and one C+ last term. He is getting along with his siblings, doing his chores, trying to communicate, not stomping, sighing and rolling his eyes (as much), taking a shower, controlling his need for continuous hugs, using soap and much more.
He convinced me to transfer him out of his Functional Literacy class - that he'd complained about for 1/2 the year - he's so excited to be in "regular" classes like everyone else.
I did a little wheeling and dealing with regards to getting him out of this "annoying" class. He has to study with me 5 times a week. His study consists of two new words each day - he looks up what they mean, uses them in a sentence and then writes a story using each word twice. Then he reads a short comprehension story and answers questions and does an English worksheet. Some days this takes 30 minutes. Other days two hours. (On Fridays he writes a journal entry instead of working on two words and writes down one thing he is grateful for.) I also have him write his new words on a sticky note and hang them in the kitchen and we try to use the words in every day sentences. Although he can communicate well, and make himself understood there are still so many words (or at least the meaning of the word) he doesn't know. Last week I was surprised to learn he didn't know what selfish meant. He just thought it was being mean. No wonder all our talks and lectures don't stick. He still doesn't know half the words I'm using!
I realize that I am a lover of words. I love to read and I love to find the right word to describe things. Alex does not have this passion. Everything is "annoying" and/or "awesome".
We've been working on expressing his opinion in a way that doesn't irritate those around him. He is an all or nothing at all kind of guy. "This is best movie in whole world!" (Yep. Still doesn't use the all the time.) and then the next movie is also the best movie in the whole world.
He also HATES things. Hate is a strong word. Last week he told me he "HATES gay guys". Oh dear. We had a talk about disliking and not approving someones actions or lifestyle but that we don't HATE people. We love people but we don't have to love or even like what they do. When we have talks like this - he just nods in agreement. I know he's not getting it yet. He's just not mature enough socially and emotionally to recognize the difference and that not all things are black and white. Right and wrong. He is still very young in his thinking. So much that despite his 13.5 years - there are parts of his emotional maturity that are still closer to 8 or 9 years? But that's progression because he was much more like a 3 or 4 year old when we first brought him home.
Last week he proclaimed, "Jackie Chan is best show ever!" Really? Jackie Chan? I explained that this is his opinion - and that everyone is entitled to an opinion but that he should preface his proclamations with "I think Jackie Chan is the best show ever!" I know this sounds trite but it really does get under your skin time after time and you feel like you need to argue with him because you sincerely don't think the animated Jackie Chan series is the best show ever or even a decent show for that matter. In fact using Alex's favorite word....it's annoying!
Let's see....what else is new?
Devree is in the middle of her basketball season. She is playing really well. She is co-captain of the sophomore team and also playing on the JV team. She is covered in bruises and there are nights she just crashes on the couch and I physically have to pull her to her feet and push her up the stairs to bed. She got another 4.0 last quarter. I really enjoy going to her games but I'll be glad to see the season end as it just takes so much of her time and I worry that she's going to get sick or injured.
Austin is....well just Austin. He was laid off from the bakery and has no desire to get another job. He has a little job on Wednesday nights taking care of my sisters foster son, Lloyd. He watches him for a couple of hours and takes him back and forth to his horse therapy class. I guess this is enough pocket money for Austin to buy his fast food for the week. That's all he seems to spend his money on. He is planning on applying to Snow and I even have him signed up to audition for the choral program, hoping they might offer him some sort of scholarship? Either way, he's going to HAVE to get a job to pay the difference. I get the feeling that he's just trying to really enjoy these last few months of being a child. He turns 18 in April and I think he thinks his life and fun will be over. It won't. Life will go on but fun may not if he cannot afford to pay for it!
Rylee promoted from primary to Young Women's yesterday. ((Sniff)) She is so excited and ready to go! We now have FOUR children in the Young Men/Young Women's program. Unlike Alex and Austin she is YEARS ahead in maturity. Funny the differences between girls and boys. Alex at least has an excuse. But Austin?
Kambree came home and helped me with a bridal shower for her childhood best friend. She and Sammie go way back. I can't tell you how many carnivals, haunted houses and babysitting clinics these girls pulled off - with the help of their siblings and mothers. So to see these two girls sitting there - one the bride, unwrapping gifts, the other tying the bows in her hair - made a lump in my throat. Kambree could be the next bride. Oh dear. I would like to go back to pulling off the carnivals and haunted houses and finding crazy costumes for the crazy movies they made. It seems like yesterday that those things consumed their lives (and ours as well) and now it's dates, boys and college finals.
Perhaps this reflection and the sniffs of Rylee turning 12 is a reflection of MY maturity? Am I immature for wanting everyone to stay where they are! Don't grow up, don't graduate, move away, get taller than me, go on missions, get married. Just FREEZE!
Why?
Because I will miss this. I will miss this crazy, loud life. It seems so fleeting. I remember women my age telling me when I had babies and diaper bags hanging off my arms to enjoy this time and I would think "Are you kidding me?". I just want everyone to be potty trained or in school or whatever the next step in life was and now here I am - with some of the next biggest and grandest steps in life ahead for my children and I just want to push the pause and rewind button.
I want to go back and rock them to sleep, tuck them in and kiss their cheeks and tell them stories and be the center of their world - like I was back then. I want to just have one day with each of them at a much younger age. I want to give Eskimo kisses and dance with them in my arms and hear them giggle in delight. Just one day with each child. Because I feel like I didn't enjoy it like I should have. I was too focused on getting them to that next step. Even though I was warned time and time again. I didn't slow down and time marched on and now they're all almost grown.
So, here I am - that forty something woman - telling you young mothers...enjoy it! It will be over before you know it.
Great.
Now I need a tissue.
Well, I need to stop blubbering and get going with my day. Laundry waits for no man (or woman).
And here I thought I had nothing to blog about?
Ha!
Proof that I do love words!
9 of my blog friends said something...:
Good grief, I was bawling when you started talking about kids growing up. Bridal showers?! That really got me going. My oldest daughter turns 12 this year (not until October, but still) and then it's down hill after that. All the rest of the kids are so close together in age that it is going to be over in a blink. I wish we could stop time where we are now. I didn't really enjoy the baby phase. Barely survived it, actually:) Backing up to the beginning of the post though, do you still have to sit with Alex while he does his 'homework'? Wether it be mom homework or school homework? I spend sooooo many hours doing homework! I don't mind so much helping all the littles, but I really feel like Danny is old enough and capable enough that I could get him started and he could continue on, with me checking in periodically or checking at the end (keep in mind that we are all 7 of us sitting at the same table within a foot of each other), but instead, I have to do every. single. thing. with him. He literally wants me to just do his homework with him. As in we both do the math assignment together and compare our answers after each problem and often I have to walk him through it over and over and over. Should I push him to do more on his own because I think he's relying on me too much? Or let him spend all this extra time with mom because he never had that? Hmmm.... What to do. D's other problem right now is that he THINKS he understands waaaay more than he does and it's gotten him into trouble a few times (not with us, but in life). He's too proud (what?! a prideful child?!) to think for a minute that perhaps he is still learning the language. haha
sorry. that was a book!!
You women with older children always make me cry! Babies growing up! Heck, my baby is 10, and shes only been home a year, but looking at pictures from when we hosted her when she was 8... waaaaaaaaaah! It has gone waaaaay too fast!
Im so proud of Alex and you for your accomplishments and progress in his schooling! Way to go! What a team!
Hey, with your new job, I'm thinking you could get a great deal on a flight to Ukraine. Maybe Amy and Jeff can find you a little cuddly bug. :)
Otherwise, it won't be far out until grandkids are in the picture, and you can hold, cuddle and spoil them!
Steph- Well, the days he sits with me go a lot faster than the days he's on his own.
I printed out a word list of about 100 descriptive words and he picks two each day unless I've got two words in mind. (Some days I just can't come up with a word!) Then I have pre-printed a bunch of comprehension stories with questions and English worksheets. I found the comprehension worksheets on line, the English is from summer packets that his elementary sent home. We're almost done with those so I'll have to pull stuff off line.
It's set up so he CAN do it all on his own and not be waiting on me for worksheets or words - but we've learned that he needs to run the definitions by me before he writes sentences or a story because sometimes he doesn't have those right or just can't grasp what the words mean?
The days that he glows and tells me how much he loves it are the days I sit at his side and help him. The days that are hard and he has to keep erasing are the days I am trying to get other work done and he's left to his own devices. They really are hungry for mama time aren't they? Luckily my other four are very self functioning. Despite Alex not being the youngest, he is my baby.
However, I will tell you that he is very self functioning on his homework from school but that wasn't until this year. So there is hope Steph! Hang in there!
where did you find the comprehension worksheets online? I spend so much time trying to find stuff for all my kids... Danny really needs help with comprehension (duh). Right now I have him reading the little stories my 1st grader brings home but I know it bothers him that it is 'her' homework, even though we have talked about what we are trying to accomplish. He reads at close to an age appropriate level but his comprehension in zilch, as you know... Thanks for the help:)
I so loved reading this post and i love your blog. Your right... Kambree could be next. It's really a good idea for everyone to just enjoy where they are at in life. I am glad Alex and everyone is doing well.
Sometimes I feel like I'm reading my life when I readyour blog. Although I've totally given up on doing extra reading/homework with the kids, you are so impressive!
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