Cookies For Santa!

My parenting rant....

So, my friend was blogging about her great parenting skills (click here for an entertaining blog entry) and I thought, "Hum...maybe someone can learn from my great parenting skills?"

(Great, may or may not be the word associated with my parenting skills but I will let you be the judge.)

So you see, December isn't busy enough with work, concerts, parties, shopping, wrapping, delivering, baking etc. Let's add TWO road trips to the mix!

James and I made a trip to Jackson Hole Friday through Saturday for his work party. (Last year we didn't make it as it was held in LOUISIANA so with the location only 6-7ish hours away as opposed to three states away we thought we'd swing it!) 

We left Friday and we lift (gulp) Austin in charge.

He had instructions to come home right after work and be in charge!. That no one was to go anywhere without calling or texting and that Jazmine was to either go home to her Dad's or find another friend to stay with.

At ten we called home to confirm all was well and we shut down the party that was happening. (The party consisting of Jazmine STILL at our house and a friend of Austin's - later it was discovered that said friend and Jazmine had a mini-marshmallow fight through our house as I kept finding marshmallows behind and under things! Grrr...)

So Saturday we make the white knuckle drive home. (Dinner was good and then we watched everyone get drunk until we were pretty sure they wouldn't know we had left and we went back to the FABULOUS condo that they put us up in! Seriously, it was fabulous! ) 

Upon arriving home we find Alex and Rylee zoombi-ed to the TV with no idea where Devree or Austin are. We located Devree who informs us she's at the junior high watching young men play basket ball and has no idea where Austin is. I text Austin to bring Devree and himself home immediately. They arrive in about thirty minutes time claiming they did nothing wrong. I asked if Austin remembered that I left him in charge and that he is the only one that can drive anyone to the ER in case of emergency? That Alex and Rylee have no idea where he is? Well, yes but he thought that was only for Friday night!

 Good grief!

What about the "let me know if you go anywhere" request?

Well, he only went to his bb game- that I knew about - and then came home and ate lunch and then returned with Devree to watch more games for four hours! (Devree is sitting in silence...trying to avoid my wrath!)

(Sigh)

So, quick talk/rant on responsibility, communication and follow through.

Fast forward to road trip #2.

Monday Rylee and I left to go to St George to see my cousins lovely and talented daughters perform in the Nutcracker! Kylee - same age as Rylee - was dancing the part of Clara. Oh, we were so excited!! But unfortunately mother nature was not in the holiday spirit and after taking over three hours to get to Fillmore and the roads with little visibility and stupid semi's sloshing slush so thick it took my wipers two swishes to actually clear the windshield to see, and realizing that at 40 miles an hour I'd be lucky to make it before the Snow Princess does her finale, I turned around and headed back home!

Boo.

(We did stop in Orem for dinner and were able to get last minute tickets for "The Farley Family Christmas Party" playing at UVU in an attempt to salvage our trip and mother/daughter time.)

So with over 5 hours of nerve wracking, driving in the pelting snow I arrived home very late to a grumpy husband with my dishwasher torn apart and bad news....our slightly more than 2 year old dishwasher needed replacing. Grrr... 

Then as I look around I realize that despite my nicely typed list of the things that needed to be accomplished in my absence - which was minimal - like  DAILY CHORES,  NOTHING was done.Then James shared his frustration about our children and their selfishness and bickering over the course of the night. More grrr....And top it off with finding marshmallows strewn about my house and I was one mad mama bear!!
So this morning instead of scriptures we had words!
Words of Wendy.

I let a certain daughter know that when she makes cookies with MY ingredients for a school party she WILL make enough for everyone to have a cookie and NOT eat one in front of the other children proclaiming that they cannot partake!!

I let them all know that their NOT doing their job was NOT okay. That each day they do NOT do their job I will deduct one dollar from their allowance which means in 2 weeks time without doing their chores will cost them three dollars! 

Doing PART of their job and leaving the rest is not acceptable either. That if this happens again when they bring down their dirty clothes for me to wash, I will just fold them up dirty and let them figure out if I washed them or not! How would they like that? What if I only did 1/2 of my job?  

I told them that I never call them down to eat and then have NOTHING for them to eat! Because I always do my jobs 100% unlike my lovely charges that do part of something or say they did it when they actually did nothing! How would calling them to dinner with nothing to eat help them? It wouldn't. Just like doing a crappy job or no job at all doesn't help me!  

Then James tagged in with how it makes him feel to watch them walk all over us. 

Then I took back over with a trip down the river of guilt about how often I bail them out, bring things to school, plan parties, dinners, run to the store for this and that and try to be a good parent.....blah, blah, blah.....

Oh yeah. Like puppies with their tails between their legs, that's how they went to school. (I actually got sincere apologizes and thank yous on the way out the door!)

However, James doesn't believe that I can actually follow through on my dirty clothes threat. I believe that is a challenge....don't you? So if you see my kids crumpled and smelly in the near future, just nudge them a little and ask, "Maybe next time you'll do your job?" or just sniff the air and say "Do I smell dirty laundry?"

In any event, do learn from my fine example of parenting. Either avoid road trips all together or make each child sign in blood the contract of who exactly is in charge and what that entails on a minute by minute bases, what everyone is to do, and then be sure to take the marshmallows with you!

(Oh and don't buy an LG dishwasher!!)

Our Failed Trip To St George!

Our Trip To Jackson Hole!

We stayed in a fabulous condo....

 Look how cute this little carved bear is....

We stopped for Mexican Food at "Plum Loco"in Idaho Falls as recommended by Amy. (And it was yummy! Thanks Am!) This is our little waitress. Seriously. She even had hearing aids!

2010 Christmas Letter!

Merry Christmas Everyone! 
Welcome to our blog - if you've logged on after receiving our Christmas card.
or
Welcome back my faithful few followers!
(And thank you for all your comments and emails over the past year!)

We hope this season you are all healthy, happy and hanging in there!

This year I thought we'd review everyone alphabetically. 

How's that for shaking things up?

ALEX

Wow. Where to begin. Alex has learned so much this year and continues to learn more and more each day. He has mastered the art of showering and using soap, figured out that doing a job right the first time is better than repeating it numerous times, and has painfully given up the horrible habit of lying and cheating. (Yes, vices that come with being raised in an  orphanage.)

He is a very loving, sweet boy, that is starting to not look like a little boy but a teenager. (Sigh.) He is such an obedient child, always quick to do his chores and get his homework done.  His English is coming along and it's so fun to watch his cute & funny personality surface as he grasps the language

He LOVES playing basketball and is excited to play Junior Jazz again this year. He is taking piano and active in scouts. Last March he was sealed to our family and he likes to remind us that he's not adopted anymore, he's sealed! (It was funny, when we took all the kids to the temple the temple worker kept asking...."Now, who is being sealed?" He looks so much like us that no one can pick out which child we imported!)  He truly is a good boy and tries so very hard to fit in and catch up.

AUSTIN

Where to start? Austin is a junior in high school, driving, working, playing the guitar, and full of mischievousness. He is so very funny, witty & charming that he gets away with lots of things his siblings would never dare try! He went on his first date this year and is singing in A-Capella - where he wears a tux and looks so very handsome! He is taking a financial literacy class and spends his free time trying to figure out "get rich quick" schemes. Luckily for all of us, he runs them by his parents first who inform him of the illegal-ness and/or lack of ethic's that these schemes entail.
He aspires at this time of writing to be a helicopter pilot.
He's playing on a basketball league where he's learned that his large size is much to his advantage.(Yes, he's taller than James and weighing in at 180+)
He has taken to calling Alex "Big Al" (who is about a hundred pounds lighter than him and wears a size 14 slim!) and can make his little sisters squeal just by walking into the room!

DEVREE

Is serving as a Student Body officer this year. Playing on the high school girls freshman basketball team, taking piano lessons and dance lessons and pulling straight A's. (Makes me tired just typing all that!)
With Kambree's move to college we've done some bedroom swapping and she now has a downstairs bedroom. Which is great for the adult parent in the house that had such a hard time falling asleep with her rattling around at all hours of the night!
She still loves the color purple, gum and wishes she could sing like a black gospel singer! She sings beautifully but she covets those big, beautiful voices that can really belt! Devree can pretty much do anything she sets her mind to. (Or drive you crazy until you take her to the store or wherever she needs to be!)

ELLA
Our little Shorky dog is still alive but not so well....mentally. She's been a little crazy lately. We don't know what it is but she's been escaping our yard, hiding under the bed and sleeping with Austin! If  any of you know Ella and Austin's relationship you will realize the extent of her mental issues.

JAMES

James is still working away in Wyoming only now he's gone for 16 days and home for 12! He's up to his eyeballs getting the Glummy Bag (soon to be named something else) to market. He's come to the conclusion that it's easier to invent things than to actually market and selling them so he  has contracted with a team of professionals at BYU to  help get his product off the ground.
You would think with 12 days off that we'd do lots of fun things or get major projects done? Easier said than done!. Last summer between his schedule and the kids camps and activities we had TWO days where we were all home together. TWO DAYS!
He bought a new motorcycle this year and loves to ride it. Even in the freezing weather.
When not working in the fridge temps of Wyoming keeping guys safe and alive on the construction sites of natural gas oil rigs, he stays busy at home attempting to keep our fleet of cars running and has a forever long list of repairs on our house!

KAMBREE

Kambree graduated from high school last spring and is attending Snow College.
She is learning the art of living with five roommates, cooking, cleaning and doing her own laundry.
She's loving school, dancing on the drill team, dating up a storm and learning that RM's want relationships and commitments and she wants NONE of that! (Thank goodness.)
When she visits she is thrilled to eat anything I make -as long as it isn't spaghetti - which apparently is her staple meal at school?
She is planning on going into nursing and just finished Human Anatomy and labs where she worked on actual cadavers.(In this aspect....she does NOT take after her mother!)

RYLEE
Rylee is taking dance, piano and just finished performing in Murray High's production of Music Man.
She's a spit fire, can talk a mile a minute and thinks and acts like she's 15! I keep calling her my "baby girl" with the hope that she'll stay little a little longer!
She's doing great at school but often comes home with stories of the drama of 5th grade! (And it seriously reads like a soap opera!) She's still very tender heart-ed and wears her heart on her sleeve so that only adds to the tears and drama.
She loves her Webkinz (Curse you people that developed this toy! What the heck? Internet birthday parties for stuffed animals that you have to log in to at a certain time!? My computer is plastered with reminders of when Rylee needs to log on for one pet party or another!) and has started cooking. So far we've had more successes than catastrophes in the kitchen!
She wants so badly to have her own cell phone and wear make-up. (See? She thinks she is 15!)
At this point she aspires to be an  anesthesiologist and likes to perform "virtual" operations on the Internet. (Luckily they're only animated. I can just picture future conversations with Kambree and Rylee at the dinner table.... I know I'll be dry-heaving when they start talking about bowl obstructions or puss and infections. Yuck!)

WENDY

I am still selling real estate - although I took some unscheduled months off this year due to poor market conditions and the economic situation. I am also serving in the Young Womens presidency - which I love. I get to work with the 14 & 15 year olds and am excited to go to girls camp this year.
This summer Kambree, Devree, Rylee and I all performed in WVC's production of Peter Pan! It was so great to be on stage with all three of my daughters.I tried to talk my sons into it but they said NO WAY! (In this aspect they take after James!)
With 5 children, a career, an involved church calling, volunteer work and single parenting more than 1/2 the time, I am very busy and sometimes don't know if I'm coming or going but I wouldn't change one thing! I know this busy-crazy-over scheduled-spread thin time won't last forever and that some day I will look back and miss it. (Or at least I tell myself that on the really busy-flying-by-the-seat-of-my-pants days! )

We hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and that the New Year brings you all your hearts desires.
We are so grateful to our Savior and brother, Jesus Christ for his birth, his life and that we know that he lives!

Blessings,
The Richhart Family

Christmas Shopping

After a crazy day of work and running kids in every direction our piano teacher canceled at the last minute and I got a brilliant idea to take Dev, Ry & Alex to do their Christmas shopping.

I know this task has been weighing heavily on their minds. Rylee has asked me over and over what I would like for Christmas. I've given her some ideas but apparently not the right idea? Finally I just told her the art of gift giving is to know and care for the person well enough to select a gift you think they would like on your own! (Thinking this would get me off the hook.) That went right over her head. "Give me more ideas Mom!" I told her I've given her plenty of  ideas. "I know but I can't use them or you'll know what you're getting!"

Oh my goodness! (Sigh)

So we head to the store. Alex is all business. He heads straight to the toy department to get Zach (his cousin) a gift. His funds are very limited (Yes, I am a cruel & evil mom and make my children earn their own money for gift giving. However, I did give Alex a pretty easy $10 job this week to help his cause!) Zach is five and he was elated to draw his name this year. Alex wanders up and down each aisle and then asks for my help. After wandering through every aisle...again  I asked him to think about when he was five and what he would like. Alex quickly responds with:

"I didn't get presents when I was five." 

Oh. My. Yes. Hits me like a dagger. But I put on a happy face and said. "Honey, I didn't ask you what you GOT when you were five, I asked you what you would have LIKED when you were five." The light dawns and he manages to find Zach a Nerf gun in his budget. Then it was on to Kambree. Alex had Kambree last year too and you could tell he was a little concerned. I pointed out quite a few things she would like - I cannot be specific as she follows this blog - and he would pick one then the other and then want me to decide. Finally I put my arm around him and told him that what counts is that HE picks, that this is a present from HER little brother and with that he put everything back and found her something he thought she would like! When he showed it to Rylee she approved immensely and wrapped her arm around his neck and gave him a side hug telling him he is  a "good bro". (She had overheard my pep talk and was just helping his gift giving self esteem! Good job Ry!)
During our shopping trip Rylee informs me that she needs new black shoes for Sunday. I asked her what happened to the black shoes she had? "I grew out of them Mom!" and then in a very dry, sarcastic voice she says, "What do you think? I lost them in the fire?"
Oh. Dear. Please tell me that my baby daughter is not going to join the ranks of the sarcastic & quick witted! I already have too many of those children! 

Devree spent the most and had the most to buy for. (I think she's up to 19 of her closest friends?)  She was so relieved to get her shopping done but was pretty reluctant to fork over ALL her hard earned  money (from getting her straight A report cards) at the cash register. On the way home everyone was lamenting that they were now out of money.  "Me too!" I said. To which Rylee replied "No you're not Mom. You still have your swipy card!"

Great. 

I guess as long as I have a "swipy" card....I have money?

So much to teach these little chicks of mine!

Alex Update

While trimming Alex's hair (well, just trying to make his sideburns not look similar to Elvis Presley's) before school on Friday he told me:

 "I hope you don't make me look durfee." 

"What????......Do you mean dorky?"

"Oh. Yes. Dorky."
I teasingly replied:

"Well, I assure you you will not look "durfee" but I can't promise my fabulous hair cutting skills will not make you look dorky!"

Teeheehee!

(They are a little uneven but I think they look less "durfee" than the "chops" he seems to grow in a months time! I think this boy will be one of those seniors with a 5'oclock shadow - James will have to come home and straighten out his sideburns - as he has the clippers with him and I had to do this hair trim with a pair of scissors and my pink "Ladies Choice"razor!)

Alex came home from church and told me about his lesson on gratitude. About being thankful for things that people do for you. Later he wrote in his journal a sweet entry about being grateful for his mom and that I am always nice. (Which is so not true-but hey! Who am I to argue? That wouldn't be nice!) I joked with him about if he would feel that way after I checked his spelling errors and sentence structure and he had to write more sentences and he insisted that he would.

 Minutes ago he came up as I was checking emails and waiting to get dinner out of the oven and leaned his head on my shoulder and softly said:

"Mom, I have something I am shy to say you.  Thank you for getting me out of orphanage. For bringing me here and adopting me."  

I was sort of stunned. It sort of came from no where. In the past he's expressed his hatred for the orphanage, and most things Ukrainian, he's said very sweet things about me, James and our family and I know he loves us and is glad he's here but he has never just come up and said "thanks" like that.  

I hugged him tight and asked him why he was "shy" to tell me this? And he just shrugged and buried into my hug.

I hugged him tighter and told him that I am glad he chose to come home with this crazy mama and how brave I thought he was and how much I love him.

Payday. 

That's what that was. 

Two years of work to get to this point but sweeter "shy" words have never been uttered.

A True Orphan Christmas Story....

Are you familiar with the story titled "Christmas Oranges"? It's a story about a little orphan girl that is punished by not getting an orange - the only gift all the children in the orphanage get - on Christmas morning. 
I've always thought "What a dramatic and over the top story! What sort of deranged person is so mean that they'd not let an orphan have an orange on Christmas?!" Seriously. I was sure it wasn't true. I was sure it was probably just someone trying to tell an over the top, sad story and make a quick buck.
Not my favorite Christmas story....by far.
Now that I have a previous orphan as a son?
Still not my favorite Christmas story.
But not because I think it's an outrageous, simplification of "evil orphanage director" vs "helpless little orphan" but because I now know there are adults in this world that take pleasure in taking from and depriving little children from small and simple joys. There are adults in supervisor positions over children that care nothing for children. Their physical, emotional or spiritual welfare. I know because my son has shared these stories, first hand.
So, here is the Ukraine version of that very, "over the top, couldn't possibly be true" story, told to  me by my now 12 year old son. (Who, as you all know grew up in an Ukrainian orphanage from age 6 until almost eleven.)
(Although Ukraine does not celebrate Christmas until January 7th,  his orphanage did a little Christmas celebration in December like we do.)  
When Alex was 7 1/2 years old, he and his orphan friends visited Father Christmas on the 24th of December and each child received a small box of candy. The teacher collected these to give to the children the next day as their only Christmas gift. The morning of the 25th the children were suppose to meet in the "living room" (smelly common room with hard benches and a small TV) and recieve their candy from the night before.  However, Alex was in the cafeteria - by himself - throwing a ball against the wall and chasing it around. (No, he should not have been there. But imagine the pent up energy of a small little boy, stuck inside in the below zero temperatures-common for that time of year? So bouncing a ball? A very typical Alex thing to do! Also similar to the little girl in the Christmas Orange story - that was so excited she tiptoed out late at night to see the Christmas tree - the reason for her punishment of not receiving an orange the next day.)  When Alex was located, they marched him to the "living room" and it was announced that he would NOT be getting his box of candy! He was the only one that didn't get his candy.
This made him very sad and he cried of course.
But luckily Alex (like the girl in the story) had a kind hearted friend, Sasha, and he shared his little box of candy with him.
But the story doesn't end there, no in true, Ukraine fashion they ALL watched a movie together. 
The feel good, holiday favorite that was selected? 
Why this movie of course: 

Merry Christmas Little Orphan Children!
The End
Can you even believe it? When Alex was shuddering and telling me the plot of the movie tonight, he refereed to this main character as "the creepy elf"! Creepy is right! And he IS green but certainly not an elf! And certainly not a holiday classic or appropriate for children UNDER SEVENTEEN!
Yes, this is rated R, scary, horror movie.
 And yes, again, he was SEVEN AND 1/2 YEARS OLD!
Don't know what bothers me more, the candy being withheld or the movie selection?
Unbelievable!
I do feel sadness that Alex experienced this, but I feel even more sad for the children still living there. For the thousands of children that are in similar circumstances all over the world.
Please remember them in your prayers!
Love,
Wendy

December Is Here!

I realized that the picture in my header was over two years old and since I am not computer savvy enough to create a new one, I had to use the blogger format. I know it's a little boring, but at least it's more current right?

(It was also time to get rid of those crazy Thanksgiving turkey's on my back ground.)

I love Christmas. Really I do!  But I get so sick of red and green - in fact often times houses, yards and blogs are so covered in red and green and tinsel and lights that it looks like Christmas just "threw up" everywhere! 

(I let Ry and Alex pull out the decorations last Saturday and sincerely my house looked like a Christmas blow out! I have subtly, toned the house down and limited decorations to certain designated areas as opposed to every nook, cranny and windowsill!  Gosh, that doesn't sound like I like Christmas does it?)

We're not doing outdoor Christmas lights again this year.  No one has enough enthusiasm to put them up? James refuses unless I buy new one's each year after Christmas and I didn't hit any great clearances last year. His reasoning? One strand always goes out and the house looks stupid. Since we have them on every night for the month, their life is one season and one season only! He has a point. Personally, I think it would help if our house had some pointy peaks and not a straight line for hanging lights? And with the placement of our Christmas tree - you can barely see it from the road - we might look like the Grinch family on the street. Oh well. When you come in....you can defiantly see we are Christmas celebrating folk!

I am happy to report that once again I have a "Christmas Elf" living among us! He/she has set the table and made my bed! I so love Christmas elf's! I just wish he/she would live with us all year long!

I am not happy to report that we have an actual little mouse living amongst us as well. Yuck! I think this mouse may be the reason for the psychotic-ness  of my little dog Ella?  She's been acting so weird lately. Even Austin noticed when she spent the night sleeping on HIS bed. Ella really doesn't like Austin so there is defiantly something up with her emotional stability. (What dog in their right mind would willing sleep with a large, sixteen year old  boy that likes to drape her around his neck, like an exotic fur, and then spin in circles?) 

This morning I got up to Rylee dressed and jobs done, Alex dressed and  brewing me a cup of tea and all my teens sleeping peacefully away. 

Why this sweet Alex and Rylee behavior before eight am on a Saturday?

Netflix.

Yes, I signed up for a trial month of Netflix through the Wii. 

Happy day at the Richhart home!

So far, I must say, I am not impressed with the line up of movies. (I have decreed that if any R rated movies are viewed or PG-13 without a call for permission, I will cancel our account immediately! I'm not too worried about the R ones, my kids sincerely know better, but some of the PG-13 shows are just as crude and awful as R!) We'll see how this goes. If it inspires them to get up early, get dressed, do their jobs and make me herbal tea without asking.....it might be worth the $7.99 a month!

Crazy busy day ahead, Ry was given comp tickets to see her friend perform at Hale Center today. Lucky for me, I get to accompany her. So we're heading there after I pick her up early from her primary Christmas party,  Kambree is driving in to perform at Rio Tinto stadium this afternoon, (I hope we don't have snow for the drive or the performance!) and I'm showing houses later this afternoon.

The hustle and bustle is upon us my friends! 

Good luck!

Virtue

Since I pick out Alex's vocabulary words each week, I try to find words that I think he really needs to understand. This week I chose virtuous as one of the fifteen. On Wednesday's he has to write sentences using his vocabulary words. In the morning during our "before school studying' (where I try to get the bulk of his oral reading done when there is only two kids home as opposed to 5+)  I had him verbally give me sentences with his vocab words to prepare him for his after school sentence writing. For virtuous he told me.

"I am virtuous because I take shower!" 

So we had a big talk on the difference about being physically clean and morally clean. Now, with Alex I don't mince words. I just tell it like it is. (I figured I have a late start and he's so literal that he doesn't get subtlety.) We covered everything from sex before marriage to sexually transmitted diseases and porno.

 I was very direct and refereed to male anatomy, what it does, pregnancy out of wedlock and some of the results of STD's. I told him how sex is wonderful when your married and about how you should only have sex with the woman you marry. I asked if they taught this in Ukraine, abstinence before marriage? No.  It was just him and I and our conversation lasted about 15 minutes. Very direct and he looked right at me, comprehending (at least I think so) every word. Sincerely, I  covered it all. When he left for school I worried that I had maybe said too much? "Really Wendy, he's only twelve. Maybe you said a little more than necessary?" 

I went to lunch with a few other moms (some of my favorite people in the world)  that have adopted from Ukraine also. We all shared stories about our kids and asked each other for advice and suggestions. It's such a refuge to hang out with these women each month and know that they get what you're talking about and that they're right there, often times in the same situation or have gone through similar things. A couple of our mom's shared stories of their kids struggling with peer pressure and how the lack of self esteem makes them easy prey for other kids to get them to do things that they know is wrong. But in the desire to have friends and fit in, they make bad choices. So sad. 

After our lunch I felt a little better about my talk with Alex. Although he is more about the age of a 8-10 year old (sometimes 5 depending on the situation?) emotionally and socially, his  physical body is most defiantly a 12 year old's. And although I know he likes girls, he's still pretty shy about making any sort of contact with them. But I'm not so sure the girls are as shy as he is.

After school I privately asked him if he was okay about our talk this morning? That I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable or yucky. That maybe I had said too much?

His reply?

"No mom. It was good. I would rather learn about this while I am little."

That was EXACTLY what I was thinking! 

We talked about how it would be so much harder to learn these stuff AFTER making bad choices and how right he is about learning about this NOW and not later.

Whew.

I didn't scare the bejebers out of him! 

And maybe, just maybe, he is not only physically but emotionally & socially 12 at times!