Virtue

Since I pick out Alex's vocabulary words each week, I try to find words that I think he really needs to understand. This week I chose virtuous as one of the fifteen. On Wednesday's he has to write sentences using his vocabulary words. In the morning during our "before school studying' (where I try to get the bulk of his oral reading done when there is only two kids home as opposed to 5+)  I had him verbally give me sentences with his vocab words to prepare him for his after school sentence writing. For virtuous he told me.

"I am virtuous because I take shower!" 

So we had a big talk on the difference about being physically clean and morally clean. Now, with Alex I don't mince words. I just tell it like it is. (I figured I have a late start and he's so literal that he doesn't get subtlety.) We covered everything from sex before marriage to sexually transmitted diseases and porno.

 I was very direct and refereed to male anatomy, what it does, pregnancy out of wedlock and some of the results of STD's. I told him how sex is wonderful when your married and about how you should only have sex with the woman you marry. I asked if they taught this in Ukraine, abstinence before marriage? No.  It was just him and I and our conversation lasted about 15 minutes. Very direct and he looked right at me, comprehending (at least I think so) every word. Sincerely, I  covered it all. When he left for school I worried that I had maybe said too much? "Really Wendy, he's only twelve. Maybe you said a little more than necessary?" 

I went to lunch with a few other moms (some of my favorite people in the world)  that have adopted from Ukraine also. We all shared stories about our kids and asked each other for advice and suggestions. It's such a refuge to hang out with these women each month and know that they get what you're talking about and that they're right there, often times in the same situation or have gone through similar things. A couple of our mom's shared stories of their kids struggling with peer pressure and how the lack of self esteem makes them easy prey for other kids to get them to do things that they know is wrong. But in the desire to have friends and fit in, they make bad choices. So sad. 

After our lunch I felt a little better about my talk with Alex. Although he is more about the age of a 8-10 year old (sometimes 5 depending on the situation?) emotionally and socially, his  physical body is most defiantly a 12 year old's. And although I know he likes girls, he's still pretty shy about making any sort of contact with them. But I'm not so sure the girls are as shy as he is.

After school I privately asked him if he was okay about our talk this morning? That I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable or yucky. That maybe I had said too much?

His reply?

"No mom. It was good. I would rather learn about this while I am little."

That was EXACTLY what I was thinking! 

We talked about how it would be so much harder to learn these stuff AFTER making bad choices and how right he is about learning about this NOW and not later.

Whew.

I didn't scare the bejebers out of him! 

And maybe, just maybe, he is not only physically but emotionally & socially 12 at times!