Lessons

This weekend we've been trying to complete Alex's science experiment. (I stole this idea from my friend Lori.) We're making chocolate chip cookies, one with all name brand ingredients and one with all store brand ingredients and doing a taste test to see if expensive taste better than thrifty.

Realizing, that science projects are due the 17th or 18th but that I'm going to be heading out of town 13th -18th, they need to get done this week. (Yes, THEY! Rylee has one too!)

We made the cookies Saturday and I told Alex -while I was running around like a crazy woman - to type up his list of ingredients, hypothesis, etc but to NOT print them out! I think I mentioned DON'T PRINT THEM about three times. 

Saturday was crazy! Running kids, running myself (Rylee's science experiment is me running and wearing a heart rate monitor to determine if running on a track or treadmill burns more calories) going to Alex's bb game, picking up Austin' corsage, attending a bridal shower, getting a listing signed, making cookies, and going to Junior Prom. Busy day. At one point I was collapsed on the couch with a ten minute window until my next get up and go and Alex come in with papers in hand. PRINTED OUT PAPERS. The very papers I told him NOT to print out. Grrr.....

I asked if he remembered me telling him NOT to print out the papers? 

Yes. 

Why would I ask him to wait? 

So, you can fix mistakes? 

Yes. 

Are they corrected? 

No.

And his eyes filled with tears and he told me he just cannot listen. I told him listening wasn't the problem. He heard me perfectly well. Obeying was the problem.

*sigh*

Later as I was attempting to throw on a skirt and freshen up to go to Prom later that night, Alex came in and told me "I am just hurting every one's feelings today." Again, eyes brimming with tears. I asked what he had done? He was on his new Facebook account (Yes, he found 20 friends.....my plan backfired!) having an instant message chat with Kambree and Devree kept telling him what to type. He was getting frustrated and told her in his Ukraine-I-will-kill-you-voice "Stay our of my life!" Now, unless you have a Ukrainian import you have no idea how ice-like, cutting and gruff one little sentence can be. Not to mention dirty looks? Overly exaggerated body language? Daggers? Words delivered in a way that sends ice to your heart? These are things that happen regularly. Often times for the smallest things and he doesn't even realize. I sincerely believe it's a cultural thing. Alex has "a look" that could melt ice.Over something as simple as a missed spelling word. He will bark something at someone and it makes the hairs on my neck stand up. We've talked about this time and time again but this is the first time he's come to me for help.The first time he has actually realized that his words hurt.

He had already told Devree sorry and was truly repented. (He had also come and rubbed his cheek against mine, hugging me and promised me he would try harder to listen early with regards to the printing episode.) I told him how he just has a way of giving looks and saying things that are so hurtful and angry that we think he hates us? I told him it's not his fault. But he needs to find a way to be friendly. A way to disagree or defend himself with out making us feel like crawling under a rock. I did tell him that the great thing is that he is noticing that his words and actions are hurting others and that's the first step in fixing it.

I gave him an example of me asking him to take his shoes off before he goes in the living room. Delivering the exact same sentence but once in a friendly but serious voice and one in an angry and hateful voice. I asked which one made him feel loved and which one made him feel like I didn't like him? 

I hope he can conquer this. It really is hard to help or have compassion for a child that can - with one dagger like look - make you feel like you're dealing with hardened KGB agent!

I think he took it to heart. He also told me he's going to start praying to listen better. (Again...listen and OBEY is what I'm hoping he'll be aiming for!)

Today I brushed an eyelash off his cheek in church and had him make a wish.It didn't blow away. I teasingly said,  "Oh darn. Alex, now you won't get your wish. What did you wish for? Super hero powers?"

"No, I wished for listening better."

*sigh*