Poor Alex...

Tonight Alex had homework done early and was looking forward to playing Wii with his Dad when, his mean old Mom reminded him he needed a bath. Alex's way cool and super fun Dad backed her up on this and sent him up to the bath tub. Each of Alex's parents reminded him to wash all over and that they would be doing the sniff test when he came down. Alex jetted down in minutes with wet plastered hair produced a soap smelling arm and belly to Dad and then marched into the kitchen beaming for the sniff approval from Mom. Mean old mom-who was making cookies-smelled the proffered arm and belly and then asked to smell his leg. "Leg?" little Alex asks, and Mom pulls up his pajama pants to smell a very never been washed leg. Back up to the tub says mean old Mom. Alex stomps up runs the water and Mom comes up standing outside the door and can hear him grumbling (in English) about missing his game. Mom nicely reminds him-from outside the door-to wash ALL of him and waits for him to come out of the bathroom. Then guess what this mean Mother asks? Can I smell your feet? "FEET?" Sure enough no soap smell on the feet. Back in the tub little guy. This time tears of frustrating are welling in his eyes. Mom goes back to her cookies, Alex returns to the kitchen minutes later with red eyes and a contrite spirit. Mom sweetly explains to Alex (for the tenth time) that when he doesn't use soap he smells when he gets home from school. She explains what skin is and what it covers and that every inch needs to be washed. She asks him for a consequence that will happen next time he forgets to wash all over. Something that will help him remember next time. He comes up with grounding from video games. Nope, mean old mom says if you can't remember to wash your body then you can learn to wash the house and give me three hours of cleaning. He agrees they hug and Alex goes into play with cool, awesome Dad. Alex grabs a controller and Dad takes it from him and tells him. "You had to take TWO baths? Give me that controller, this is bull crap. You'll have to wait until everyone else has a turn first."
That was it.
Hum....what will Alex remember tonight? That his Mom talked and talked and explained and explained for the tenth time or that his Dad took the controller and made him wait an extra long turn and used the words "bull crap"?
You know, it really doesn't matter to the Mom who Alex remembers, just that he remembers to WASH ALL OVER!

Week in Reveiw....Whew!!

This week continued to build momentum day by day. This is a synopsis of our week AFTER SCHOOL. (This does not include any day activities/appointments or commitments!)
Mild Monday:
We had the missionary's over.
Not Too Bad Tuesday:
Ry had soccer practice
(Alex's was cancelled)
Kambree was at work (Hurray she has a job now!)
and I showed homes.
Whirlwind Wednesday:
I jetted up to the orthodontist with Austin, Devree & Rylee right after school.
Alex hung out with Brach and Tyler, (Kammy needed somewhere for them to go while she ran Loyd to the dentist)
Kambree and I took Dev & Rylee shopping for Kam's homecoming dress,
Brach and Alex went to scouts at 5:30
and then James and I went to Standards Night with Kambree and Devree
while Austin went to scouts.
Tornado Thursday:
Rylee had dance at 5:30,
Devree had her call for Annie at 5:30,
Rylee and James had a Daddy/Daughter party at 6:30
(so she missed her 6:45 soccer game)
Alex had a 6:45 soccer game (our turn for treats!)
and
Kambree performed at 7:00 with Dance Company at Spartan Spectacular (and my battery was dead on my camera...boohoo!) which Austin and I went too.
Whew!
Finally Friday:
Alex and Ry had a practice emergency evacuation so I walked up to the school to pick them, then I showed a condo, listed a house, boys rode their bikes over to get their haircuts, Dev again had to be to the theater at 5:30 and we all saw the show at 7:00.
Besides dinner and every one's individual homework, add to our week night Alex's homework which consists of: spelling, reading, vocabulary, "Lucky Listener" (which is Alex reading out loud to five different people a very difficult paragraph about the Constitution) studying English and a book report-why do I specifically mention Alex's homework? Because Alex's homework is a family event/ordeal/challenge as he cannot possibly do it on his own!
So let's continue...
Some What Sane Saturday:
We hit 9:00 am soccer game with Alex, 11:00 am soccer game with Rylee, we did some wall demolition in our storage room, I presented an offer to my clients and James painted our bedroom.
Tonight we found ourselves (James and I) home without any children. How bizarre...
Kambree is at homecoming with Matt Burton. (She looked so cute and Matt is such a nice boy-I hope they're having a blast!)
Austin with Jordan or Chance....somewhere.
Rylee with Rachel-shopping and having dinner (Thanks Amy!)
Devree at her last performance (Thank goodness!)
and Alex spent the afternoon playing with Brach and ended up at his house for dinner. (Having a sister with a boy the same age is such a blessing!)
It was sort of strange. We were going to go out but James was still painting-and not wanting to distract him-I surprised him with a romantic, spur of the moment dinner! It was so quiet, I'm not sure we've done this since Kambree was a baby and we could put her to bed early.
Here's a few pictures documenting just some of the craziness....

How did I get so lucky....

I've just spent the morning blog lurking. Yes, the best thing to do when I should be finishing the laundry, making work phone calls, grocery shopping or just cleaning up after the kids breakfast mess but instead I'm lost in blog land.
I follow quite a few blogs but no one seems to be writing much these days so I went lurking. I follow a fabulous blog that a woman keeps who has also adopted from Ukraine-her boys have RAD and attachment disorders so I started clicking on some of the blogs she follows and all I can say is....
Wowza!!
How did I get so lucky to get my Alex? (Should I even say that out loud?) I've read so many heart wrenching stories/post about kids with severe attachment disorders and my heart just aches for these blog moms. I've got nothing on these moms. Kids lashing out verbally and physically. Sick kids with a sickness hardly anyone understands. Oh so sad.
So I'm saying it out loud....we are blessed. Alex (knock on wood) is a piece of cake all things considered and not only are we blessed with Alex but with all of our children.
I need to appreciate all of them more and find more joy in this parenting thing. I feel as if I have a permanent frown cress between my eyes sometimes. I'm always complaining and over whelmed. Why? Really Wendy, why? (Yes I am having a conversation with myself on my own blog-perhaps I need therapy-oh wait, this IS my therapy!)
So, thank you blog moms that put your hearts out there not only with your adopted Ukraine kids but with the world on your blog. You are an inspiration to me.
I am now going to get to all those things I SHOULD be doing and get off my computer all while attempting to smile and soften the frown cress between my eyes!

2nd Discussion....

Last night we had the missionary's over for the 2nd discussion with Alex. He was very talkative and entertaining. The discussion was on the Plan of Salvation also know as the Plan of Happiness. Alex shared with us that he had a dream he was playing with his friend Doug and they were with Jesus and they were playing Avatar. (FYI Avatar is a Japanese cartoon character who has powers to bend water? I think?) Then when the missionary's got to the part about resurrection, Alex told this big story about how he will be in a little baby in my tummy and only speak English. (I think he's got reincarnation confused with resurrection?) He's mentioned this before, the wish that he was born to us and not adopted. I don't think he could saying anything more endearing and tell us how much he loves us than that. I told him that we love him just how he is and besides if he hadn't come from Ukraine we wouldn't learn all these great Ukraine words. His answer? If he came from my tummy he would speak a few Ukraine words like b____ (Which is the Ukraine word for hobo and one that I cannot possibly try to phonetically spell let alone say!) Great, as long as we know the word for hobo!
The missionary's went over what resurrection was again just so he was clear. He seemed to understand as he then told us about how the "angel told Jesus mother" (Mary Magdalene) that he went up and bye bye. (You would really have to visualize this as he's pantomiming Jesus descending into heaven and waving goodbye as he goes.) Obviously the boy has had some religious lessons, right? I don't think this was anything they've covered in Primary this year.
Then trying to make an object lesson, the missionary's also asked him how he would feel if his mom left with instructions to clean his room before she got back and when she was coming home how would he feel if he HAD cleaned his room? He said, "My mom say awesome!" Then how would you feel if you HAD NOT cleaned your room? He then explained that then he would have a wishing rock and it would magically make his room clean. Oh brother so much for the object lesson!
When we started talking about Jesus Alex explained that he saw a movie about Jesus in school and then he pantomimed how the two other people on either side of Christ had their hands tied to the cross but Jesus had nails driven through his hands. Our translator said it was probably the Baptist that came to the orphanage and showed this video. That might explain some of his religious knowledge.
Connor (Elder Malmberg-the other missionary I met in the food court at the mall in Kiev) came to translate. Alex told him he doesn't understand Poruski (Russian). But I know he still understands-he's just getting rusty. Apparently Connor has a bit of an accent and at one point Alex said "You sound like speak Chinese!" At first it looked like Alex was having a hard time understanding the translator and often times he'd asked questions and Connor would explain more or use different words but they both warmed up by the end. Which reminds me...
People always ask if we're learning a lot of Russian. No is the answer for the most part. Alex is very leery of speaking Russian to us. (In fact our biggest tears have been when he's frustrated and can't tell me what he's thinking and I tell him to just let it out-say it in Russian-not a good idea-that just makes him cry harder!) But a couple of days ago he just started telling us Russian words. He told us the word for push (don't even ask me to try and spell it or say it) then Devree asked him the word for pull and he looked puzzled and said "Let me think, me not remember." In fact there were a lot of words he couldn't remember. That is bittersweet. Bitter as I don't want him to lose his language but sweet because he's learning English so well. (The school secretary originally from Holland was so impressed with him when he came in telling her that he needed to get the ball off the roof-she was astounded that he could respond to her questions so quickly-she told me he must be thinking in English to be so quick.)
Overall is was a sweet night. Alex helped me serve brownies and the missionary's had to hurry off to their next appointment. Connor stayed for awhile and we shared Ukraine stories.

Out of the mouth of babes....

Devree became aware of what a hysterectomy is during our camping trip. (I think she overheard my mother talking about it, asked about it and my mom explained.) But she didn't understand very clearly because she was elated and acted as if this was the most wonderful thing in the world! You should have seen the light in her eyes. She asked me if I knew what a hysterectomy was, when I told nodded yes, she looked perturbed like I had been keeping a big secret from her. Then she said,"Mom, do you realize that we could all go have this surgery and never have periods again! Wouldn't that be wonderful?" I told her "Well, yes...but you do realize that if you have those parts taken out that you'll never be able to have children?" Her crest fallen face said it all. She honestly thought she had found the answer to avoid that terrible time of the month!

Family Home Evening

So Monday night I decided to once again to tackle the impossible-have family home evening without James. I popped in a video that you've probably all seen about the Indian Boy that hikes to the top of the mountain and finds a rattle snake. The rattle snake asks the Indian Boy to pick him up and carry him back down the mountain. At first the boy refuses but the snake begs him so the boy carries the snake down the mountain and then carefully puts the snake down in the meadow at the base of the mountain and then the snake bites him. The snake then tells him, "You knew what I was when you picked me up." We discussed what the snake could possibly represent. Rylee suggested cigarettes-yes that could work, sometimes all it takes is one cigarette to get addicted, Austin threw out porn-yep another good analogy and then I asked Alex what other things the snake could represent and he said.....
"Dinosaurs! You carry dinosaur, put down-he could bite you!"
Yep, that too....

Camping Pictures!

The first night in the camp fire....

Dad and Mom

Alex making S'mores and thrilled to be playing with fire!

Saturday morning, Mom cooking in the rain!

Double Rainbow

Troy helping Zach with his DS game

Zach on the bunk with Alex

Troy, Dad and Arron chilling in the Taj

Sydni

My girls!

Arron, Brach, Alex, Troy & Zach on "Troy's Brother Boat"


Looking out the back of the boat

Austin loving the Jet Ski!

Dad cursing the blow up tubes!

Kammy and Syd asleep in the boat!

Rylee, Devree and Austin tubing!

Aleeney and Jeff

Bill getting loves from Syd

Alex loves to camp....can you tell?

Kam & Syd being "cutie pies"

Syd, Troy & Zach

My baby brother Arron

My five dirty campers basking in the glow of the campfire and soaking up the lovely smell!

Glow in the dark hair accessories!

Austin modeling his grandpa's wet suit with the accent of his life jacket hat!

Alex and Brach the inseparable cousins and friends!

Kambree....

Kambree wake boarding

Alex the designated flag boy

Jeff with his JCrew look

Kambree, Me & Alex tubing...

Two brothers in too big of wet suits!

Kambree and I showing off!

Kambree and Austin playing rough!

Tyler in his water gear!

Grandpa teaching the girls to play Hearts!

The coolest climbing tree ever...




Alex asked me to take his picture with this bear

And Kambree with this one!

Then my battery in my camera died!

Camping Trip

We are alive! We all survived our camping trip! We're unpacked, I'm on my 6th load of laundry, and I have clean children back in school. Ahh...civilization!
Actually, the weekend was a lot of fun. I took ton's of pictures (but my battery is dead so I'll upload later) and we really had a fun time. It's always great to spend time with my family.
Friday night Arron was there with Shondra but she had to work all weekend so that was all we saw of her. Troy and Zach came up with us and Mom and Dad were already there. We made S'mores after Alex and Rylee scrounged enough firewood to start a fire. (That was just ONE of the many things I forgot to think about packing!)
Saturday, Kammy and her kids arrived and Jeff came bringing his jet ski's. Saturday was rainy the minute we woke up. I have a hilarious picture of my Mom cooking breakfast under her pink umbrella. Then Dad put up the canopy and we all huddled under it together and enjoyed bacon and eggs and pastries. (One thing about vacationing with my family...we never go hungry!)
We waited until after lunch for the weather to clear and then took the boats out and did a little tubing but it got so choppy and then the thunder and lightening started so we pulled the boats off the lake mid afternoon. Alleeny (pronounced Ahh lean ee), Jeff's girlfriend/friend came up and Bill, Kam's husband for the night. We taught Alex how to play Mexican Train Domino's and even though he ended up losing, he stuck it out and didn't cry. We are making strides!
That night Kambree and Devree had talked me into bringing ingredients for S'moreritto's. Something they had discovered this year at Girls Camp. You take a flour tortilla, spread Nuttala on it and then chocolate chips, marshmallows, butterscotch chips and sprinkle with cinnamon and sugar, wrap it in tin foil and throw it in the coals and then waalaa...you have a S'moreretto! It was very sweet and gooey and probably made all our blood sugars soar! ( I still think S'mores are better!)
Sunday morning the weather was better-which Alex pointed out-he had prayed for in his prayer the night before. We waiting until after lunch again and then took the boats out and this time we really spent some time on the lake. Kambree wake boarded behind Arron's boat and Austin attempted it a few times. Then we switched over to Dad's boat and I made Alex tube with me. He did not really want to go. He's so very skinny that he shivers and shakes the minute he gets wet so we took an old wet suit and cut the legs off and he wore that. He was pretty much terrified about going on the tube but bless his heart, he did it! He was white knuckled the whole time and I rode right beside him whooping and trying to get him to loosen up, he did laugh a little and say he was having fun then Dad had to slow down for a big wave and we had a lot of water come over the tube and I knew he wouldn't be able to stay on so I dropped off so I would be with with him and sure enough he fell off and came up all sputtering and panicky. I was about two stokes behind him and grabbed his ankle to let him know I was right here with him and he's just screaming and motioning to his hand where I can see two tiny scratches and he's crying and carrying on. Oh my. I assure him he's all right and Grandpa will be back. I would not let him get hurt. We would never leave him in the water and on and on...he keeps crying. So I tell him he needs to calm down, and toughen up, this is nothing to get so frightened about. He calms down a bit before the boat gets back then he gets back in the boat. He's had enough. Kambree was on the other tube and she and I get back on and we have a blast! When we had Alex Dad was just leisure driving knowing it was his first time and all but with Kambree and I we're going fast and out of the wake and we have some great wipe outs! Alex is observing this from the boat with eyes of wonder. (Hum, perhaps he should have observed before I made him get in?) Then I switch out with Austin and let the games begin! One thing about our kids, they are not wimps! We've been boating since they were babies. Austin would get flipped upside down on his tube/rocket thing and not let go and flip back over and still be on. I would yell "He's down!" and Dad would begin to stop and then I'd yell "Never mind, he's still on!" Austin told me. "Don't say I'm down until you see my hands leave the straps!" Kambree is just as tough. In fact Kam was the first in the water and the last out. Rylee and Devree had already tubed while we were on the other boat and they can hold their own too. Alex was in awe. I don't doubt in time that he'll be out there just as tough and laughing as the other kids.
That night was my dinner and we made Hawaiian Haystacks and I'm not a believer in Mom doing all the work so all five of my kids helped prepare and clean up. Arron asked if he could take Alex out on the boat for some fishing after dinner and Alex was beaming. He went with my two brothers and Alleeny (who all speak Portuguese) and my brother Troy (who speaks Chinese) and Troy told them if they get pulled over by the fish cops to all just speak their languages-including Alex in Russian. I think this made Alex feel so apart and included. He came back to camp telling me Chinese phrases. Great Troy! Let's let him learn one language at a time. They didn't catch any fish but had a fun time.
Dad taught my girls to play Hearts and they spent hours playing cards. The rest of us played Progressive Rummy and Scum. Two of our favorite card games. Kambree and Devree tried to teach us Egyptian Rat Screw. (What a terrible name.) And the boys threw the football a lot!
Kam had brought up firewood and Alex enjoyed hatching it up into kindling. He's really a good camper and very ingenious. The second night we ran out of battery in the trailer and were getting ready for bed via flashlight light. Alex tells me it would work better if we could hang the flashlight up rather than hold it but I tell him there's nothing to hang it on. Minutes later he's rigged something up so the flashlight can hang from the ceiling.
Austin has two more nicknames. Dad called him Augitha and Kammy came up with Polar Boy as he would wander around with the polar bear fleece tied around his neck like a cape. Austin is a riot and made us laugh the whole trip.
Alex could not remember my brothers names or keep them straight so he called everyone "Troy's brother". But he wasn't sure which one was Troy either. This is funny in it's own right but even more so because Austin couldn't keep them straight when he was little either and just referred to them all as "The Uncles."
Rylee really got into playing cards and of course fell asleep on the boat while we were tubing. We decided we should call the boat "Rock a Bye Rylee" as she has such a hard time staying awake on it. It put Sydni to sleep too.
Devree played lots of cards and showered every night back up at camp-she always smells good. Towards the end of our trip she got a little cold. She took some cold medicine last night but got up and went to school this morning. I knew she would, that girl loves school. If it had been Austin (or probably Alex) he would have pleaded to stay home.
Troy shared a funny story about his son Zach. Zach is four and featured in my side bar because he say's such funny things but I told Troy I'd write this up in my journal so we can always remember it. Apparently, Zach was playing out on the truck and somehow fell and hurt his boy parts. He was crying and clutching himself and tells Troy "I hurt my weinards!" Poor, funny, little boy. He also when waving goodbye to a large man on Troy's softball team said "Goodbye chubby man!" All Troy could do is laugh.
Monday we got up and ate breakfast and packed up camp then went to a Nature Center over at Rock Cliff. Then we headed for home. All in all it was a fun weekend and great to get away from it all.
Alex had an incident at school Friday with his spelling test and cheating and then he wasn't truthful with me about it when he got home. I was very calm and sent him to his room to think about it for a few minutes I went up to talk to him about it. Keep in mind the last thing I told him was before he left for school was that I don't care how poorly he does, it's okay-just do his best. Besides, he knows cheating is wrong. He even told his teacher he knew it was wrong. (And wanted to know if she was going to hit him with a stick like the teacher do in Ukraine!) I asked him what he would do if he had a little boy that cheated and lied and he told me he'd send him to his room and talk to him. (What were were doing) But I decided he needed to write a letter to his teacher and to me and apologizing for cheating and lying. I gave him paper and a pencil and his Ukraine dictionary and told him to look up the words he didn't know. When he was done he could come down and help us finish packing for camping. He was heartbroken about it but started the task immediately. This is exactly what he wrote to me:
Mam i love ouy so man a em sorry I to uoy that i sead i no sead to uoy bad vord I aem sorry agen sorry sorry sorry (and then add about twenty more sorry's).
I asked him to read it to me and here is what he meant:
Mom, I love you so much. I am sorry for the bad words I said. I am sorry that I lied. I am sorry again. Sorry.....
Not bad. I wrote down the translation for his teacher's letter and then had him copy it correctly and sent all three drafts to her. She called and told me that he gave it to her first thing this morning and she's got a new plan for teaching him and we'll just start fresh today. When Alex left for school I asked him how he was going to do in school today and he said "No cheating." Good, I said and kissed him on the forehead. I just want you to do your best. That's all. No cheating. He nodded.
Whew...everyday is a lesson either for me or Alex or someone! I wonder what today will bring?

Journal

Well, hold on to your hats, I-Wendy mother of five, wife to James (also know as Nature Boy) and lover of indoor plumbing, hot water and flushing toilets am taking my five children camping this weekend....without James!!
Why? Not super sure but something to do with the fact that we have not vacationed AT ALL this summer, haven't once been pulled behind my Dad's boat-be it on ski's or tubes-and this is the last weekend we can possibly go.
Now, don't be thinking me too heroic. I've recruited my family to go with me. My parents, my brothers and my sisters family are joining us for this fun filled weekend. Troy is pulling the Taj-our camping trailer that is named after the Taj Mahal-not for it's perfect symmetry and beauty but because it's just HUGE-it sleeps nine. We are co-owners of this trailer with my brother Troy-who drags it up to Parker Mountain each hunting season where it freezes & falls apart. We occasionally hook it up to Moby-our great white whale crew cab Ford pick up-and take it camping. Who cleans it? Me. Who repairs it? James and sometimes my Dad-because it's usually the deer hunters that break it-and who stores it? We do.
So, we (Rylee and Alex and I) managed to get the two inches of deer hunting dirt off the floor and counter tops and Troy has it hooked up and we're heading out after work hours today. I've got to finish baking and packing. Not too sure about going without James as I don't even know how to work the lantern or where it is or any of those little camping details. Yep, this will be an adventure.
Alex is so excited, he's been counting down the days until we leave. I think everyone is excited (except maybe me) but he doesn't keep his excitement under wraps. I hope he's not disappointed. He asked me what we will do while camping and I told him we'd ride in the boat, water ski, play games and if he wants he can bring a fishing pole. He told me "No own my." Which translated means "I don't have my own fishing pole." (I'm getting really good at Ukranglish!) I told him I'm sure he can use one of his Dad's.
This morning we talked about looking around and taking notice of things before asking questions. I was making FOUR peanut butter sandwiches when Alex came up and said "No me peanut butter." I said "Alex, how many sandwiches do you see me making?" "Four" "How many children do I have?" "Five." "Do you think I'm making you a peanut butter sandwich?" "No." Then I told him he could help me and gave him stuff to make himself a bologna sandwich. This may sound stupid but he's always asking me obvious questions that just require a slight observation for an obvious answer.
I'm worried about him at school today. We did a practice spelling test last night and he missed 15 out of 20 and as mentioned his vocabulary is VERY hard. I told him that if he does poorly-that's okay, we'll just keep working on it. I made him promise no matter how he does to not cry. He can come home and cry with me. He agreed.
I also gave him back his DS to charge for the trip. He's been without it for a week due to our trust issues of him sneaking it into bed and playing it when he's suppose to be asleep.
I realize that about 75-90% of my blog is about Alex as he takes up about 75-90% of my time and attention. We talked about this at our parent lunch this week. When we started this journey of bringing Alex home I was so focused on just that, bringing him home that I gave very little thought to what life would be like once he was home. It's not that this isn't what I thought it would be like, it's that I really never thought about what it would be like. I think I just imagined rosy times of him marveling and loving his new life here and all of us just happy as clams. I didn't think about the nitty-gritty day to day obstacles we'd face or the basic principles of living in a family that he would be lacking. If you've followed my blog faithfully-I may have lead you astray. I seem to only blog about the sweet things, or the funny things although I have thrown in a few of the things we have issues with (like baths, shoes on the couch, trust, etc) but I'll be honest, THE FIRST COUPLE OF MONTHS HAVE BEEN VERY HARD! And even now after four months we sometimes have HARD days. I expect a lot and he has no idea what to expect. I try hard to think about his point of view and limited understanding but I know I'm tougher on him then I am on my other children. Not because I want to be but that I'm trying to teach him all that he missed in his first 10 almost 11 years of life. I am blunt, I am to the point and I don't mince words or consequences with Alex. He doesn't always understand but nods and I think he understands and then repeats the wrong behavior the next day. He gets angry, cries, won't look at me and the worst is he won't talk or try to tell me how he feels or express his point of view. The first week he was here I sent him to his room for hurting Rylee's feelings and he scratched himself out of our family picture he had on his dresser. That was a little dramatic. He's hid from me, stomped off and thrown things around. He can talk so harsh that it makes my eyes water and he demands equality that he has yet to deserve. He's often self absorbed and seems to only want to have fun. He's always comparing and overly concerned with his siblings and what privileges and belongings they have and he monopolizes James and his time.
But in the same breath, truth be told, I have a very loving, eager to please little boy that carries very little baggage despite his rough start. He has no qualms accepting me as his mother and James as his father. He's generous to a fault. He's kind to animals and babies. He's willing to try new things and although he sighs and groans and would avoid studying if it were not for my constant reminders, he does study. He's the first to get his job done and the first to run and get things from food storage or grandmas house. He tells me each day when he throws his arms around me after school, "I miss-ed you." He wants so badly to be an "American boy" to fit in and belong. Don't we all want to belong? How hard it would be to feel so foreign, to have such different taste, and life experiences. I often think about how long I spent in Ukraine and what a hassle and time consuming process it was how I couldn't understand the rules, the language, the weird food, everything but I realize that was just a taste of what my little boy has to deal with on a day to day bases and he's handling it so much better than I could.
Last night I made sugar cookies for our trip and I was rolling them out while talking with my Mom. The last time I made sugar cookies with Alex was the 1st day he was in our home last October. My other children were snitching the dough and I pinched some off to give him a taste. He put it in his mouth and than spit it right out back into my bowl made a retching sound and a terrible face. I reminded him of this last night as he snitched his third helping of dough right along with the rest of the kids and he laughed. Looking back at that lost little boy that spit in my bowl to the happy sweet child that sits before me now pleading for just one more taste was one of those rosy & marveling moments that I had envisioned.
Despite the difficulties, the drama and the tears, Alex is ours and he is home...

Journal

What do the word's malevolent, malignant, malodorous, malady and malpractice all have in common?....
They are Alex's vocabulary words this week.
Wow. Could we just start with male, mall and perhaps mammal? Good grief.
This week we also started the missionary discussions. Elder Lavina (Whom we met in the mall in Kiev in April when I frantically flagged down him and his companion across the food court) came home in May and he came to translate. It went well. Our missionary's (Elder Gregory and Elder Hipwell) are a little zealous and challenged Alex to be baptized on September 12th. Alex sort of nodded but I'm not going for that. This isn't a race. He's not going anywhere. We're going to slow things down take the discussions once a week and if and when Alex is ready to be baptised then we'll go from there. I made it perfectly clear that baptism is his choice, that if he does or doesn't get baptized we will love him the same. The missionary's talked to him about the Holy Ghost and praying and to pray about the decision to be baptised. It was great to have the translator explain some of the Church words to him. Like priesthood and what exactly baptism is (Alex thought it was crossing himself and or like when we were sprinkled by the priest during the blessing of the Easter feast.) Alex impressed the missionary's when he pointed out that the man Jesus is laying his hands on in the pamphlet is the same guy that came to Joseph Smith. (Peter as in Peter, James and John) The missionary's mouths dropped open. I explained, "Well, he has been to primary for four months!"
That night I tucked him into bed and asked if said his prayers. No. He said. I asked if he'd like to say prayers with me or by himself. Myself. That was a first. So I kissed him goodnight and turned off the lights and stood outside his door. I wasn't really eavesdropping because even when kneeling beside him it's hard to understand his words but he did spend a few minutes saying his prayers and they didn't seem as rushed as they have been recently. The next day while combing his hair for school I asked how he felt about being baptised. "Good." he said. And that was it. Well, we will see. I want to make sure he understands and that he is joining the Church on his own accord and not to please us.
Yesterday I dropped him off for soccer practice and he was pretty concerned about when and where I would be picking him up. I told him I'd pick him up right here by the blue garbage can at six. He then rambled on about what if a car is here and he can't find me and on and on and I held his cute face between my hands and looked into his eyes and said. "Alex I love you too much to leave you or forget you, I WILL be here at six." He seemed okay with that answer and ran off to practice with his team. I ran to the grocery store and kept looking at the clock on my cell phone, I knew I needed to be on time and not a minute late. I made it with 3 minutes to spare and he skipped to the car announcing, "Me say you funny story okay mom?" And proceeded to tell me through words, pantomime and sound effects about kicking the ball so far and tripping one of his team mates. I'm sure it was funny but I didn't really get why but I laughed along with him all the same. He then said "Practice great!"
I had talked to his teacher during the day and she mentioned that he had been upset with a boy that had been bothering him and that he very clearly and agitated said "STOP TOUCHING ME!" to this boy. The teacher told him that he was in the right to tell this boy to stop touching him. I asked him about the incident on the way to soccer practice. He told me this boy always pokes him and touches him. I asked "Why do you think he does that?" Alex said "Cause he's annoying!" Annoying? Not bad word usage for just four months in the country!
I also made fudge yesterday. Kambree and I had a need for fudge so I just made quick microwave fudge and introduced Alex to it. I wasn't sure how he'd like it as he's not a big chocolate fan. He was concerned that I didn't put it in the oven and bake it and surprised when I gave him a warm spoonful but quickly told me after tasting it that he likes it and he could eat the whole pan. I told him he may have two spoonfuls or he will get sick so he instructed each of his siblings as they approached the fudge "Mom say two spoons."
Then last night when heading up to his bath I asked if he needed me to come in and wash his hair and make sure he's using soap. "No!" he said. Then he changed his mind. "Mom, you shower me?" "You want me to come give you a bath?" "Yes." I told him to get the water started and I'd be up, then while bathing him I asked "Why do you want me to give you a bath?" He shrugs. Then I said "It's nice to have someone wash your back isn't it?" "Yes." he says. I think he just hasn't had enough touch and love in his little life. I scrubbed his hair, washed his back, chest and limbs and then told him I'd leave so he could wash his boy parts (he stays covered up under a washcloth while I'm in the bathroom with him). He told me "You no see my little thing." I said, "No I will not look at 'your little thing'." and then I told him the proper name for his "little thing" but he said he doesn't like that word and just wants to call it his "little thing" I had a hard time not laughing right on the spot but I suppressed my laughter until I got out and shut the door. Yes, I know this is probably something he would be mortified to know I was blogging about but it's just too dang funny!
He's some more Alexisms:
Alex: My sheep says..
Me: Your sheep?
Alex: Yes, my soccer sheep.
Me: Do you mean soccer coach?
Alex: Yes, my soccer coach.
Then I explain what a sheep is and he starts to giggle.
Alex: Me hot. Me take off uhh.... (pointing to shin guards on his legs after his soccer game)
Me: Okay, you can take them off if you can tell me what they're called.
Alex: Uhmm.....shits?
Me: Close. SHIN guards. Shits is not a nice word. It's a swear word.
Rylee: (laughing hysterically and rolling on the blanket next to him!)
Then last night while he's sitting on my lap while I was TRYING to teach/go over/make some sort of explanation of a few of his vocabulary words, out of the corner of my eye I could see him looking at me with this penetrating, glassy look. Really deep like.
Me: Alex, why are you looking at me like that?
(Assuming he was struggling with my explanations-heaven knows I was struggling to come up with them!)
Alex: Cause I loves you.