Well, hold on to your hats, I-Wendy mother of five, wife to James (also know as Nature Boy) and lover of indoor plumbing, hot water and flushing toilets am taking my five children camping this weekend....without James!!
Why? Not super sure but something to do with the fact that we have not vacationed AT ALL this summer, haven't once been pulled behind my Dad's boat-be it on ski's or tubes-and this is the last weekend we can possibly go.
Now, don't be thinking me too heroic. I've recruited my family to go with me. My parents, my brothers and my sisters family are joining us for this fun filled weekend. Troy is pulling the Taj-our camping trailer that is named after the Taj Mahal-not for it's perfect symmetry and beauty but because it's just HUGE-it sleeps nine. We are co-owners of this trailer with my brother Troy-who drags it up to Parker Mountain each hunting season where it freezes & falls apart. We occasionally hook it up to Moby-our great white whale crew cab Ford pick up-and take it camping. Who cleans it? Me. Who repairs it? James and sometimes my Dad-because it's usually the deer hunters that break it-and who stores it? We do.
So, we (Rylee and Alex and I) managed to get the two inches of deer hunting dirt off the floor and counter tops and Troy has it hooked up and we're heading out after work hours today. I've got to finish baking and packing. Not too sure about going without James as I don't even know how to work the lantern or where it is or any of those little camping details. Yep, this will be an adventure.
Alex is so excited, he's been counting down the days until we leave. I think everyone is excited (except maybe me) but he doesn't keep his excitement under wraps. I hope he's not disappointed. He asked me what we will do while camping and I told him we'd ride in the boat, water ski, play games and if he wants he can bring a fishing pole. He told me "No own my." Which translated means "I don't have my own fishing pole." (I'm getting really good at Ukranglish!) I told him I'm sure he can use one of his Dad's.
This morning we talked about looking around and taking notice of things before asking questions. I was making FOUR peanut butter sandwiches when Alex came up and said "No me peanut butter." I said "Alex, how many sandwiches do you see me making?" "Four" "How many children do I have?" "Five." "Do you think I'm making you a peanut butter sandwich?" "No." Then I told him he could help me and gave him stuff to make himself a bologna sandwich. This may sound stupid but he's always asking me obvious questions that just require a slight observation for an obvious answer.
I'm worried about him at school today. We did a practice spelling test last night and he missed 15 out of 20 and as mentioned his vocabulary is VERY hard. I told him that if he does poorly-that's okay, we'll just keep working on it. I made him promise no matter how he does to not cry. He can come home and cry with me. He agreed.
I also gave him back his DS to charge for the trip. He's been without it for a week due to our trust issues of him sneaking it into bed and playing it when he's suppose to be asleep.
I realize that about 75-90% of my blog is about Alex as he takes up about 75-90% of my time and attention. We talked about this at our parent lunch this week. When we started this journey of bringing Alex home I was so focused on just that, bringing him home that I gave very little thought to what life would be like once he was home. It's not that this isn't what I thought it would be like, it's that I really never thought about what it would be like. I think I just imagined rosy times of him marveling and loving his new life here and all of us just happy as clams. I didn't think about the nitty-gritty day to day obstacles we'd face or the basic principles of living in a family that he would be lacking. If you've followed my blog faithfully-I may have lead you astray. I seem to only blog about the sweet things, or the funny things although I have thrown in a few of the things we have issues with (like baths, shoes on the couch, trust, etc) but I'll be honest, THE FIRST COUPLE OF MONTHS HAVE BEEN VERY HARD! And even now after four months we sometimes have HARD days. I expect a lot and he has no idea what to expect. I try hard to think about his point of view and limited understanding but I know I'm tougher on him then I am on my other children. Not because I want to be but that I'm trying to teach him all that he missed in his first 10 almost 11 years of life. I am blunt, I am to the point and I don't mince words or consequences with Alex. He doesn't always understand but nods and I think he understands and then repeats the wrong behavior the next day. He gets angry, cries, won't look at me and the worst is he won't talk or try to tell me how he feels or express his point of view. The first week he was here I sent him to his room for hurting Rylee's feelings and he scratched himself out of our family picture he had on his dresser. That was a little dramatic. He's hid from me, stomped off and thrown things around. He can talk so harsh that it makes my eyes water and he demands equality that he has yet to deserve. He's often self absorbed and seems to only want to have fun. He's always comparing and overly concerned with his siblings and what privileges and belongings they have and he monopolizes James and his time.
But in the same breath, truth be told, I have a very loving, eager to please little boy that carries very little baggage despite his rough start. He has no qualms accepting me as his mother and James as his father. He's generous to a fault. He's kind to animals and babies. He's willing to try new things and although he sighs and groans and would avoid studying if it were not for my constant reminders, he does study. He's the first to get his job done and the first to run and get things from food storage or grandmas house. He tells me each day when he throws his arms around me after school, "I miss-ed you." He wants so badly to be an "American boy" to fit in and belong. Don't we all want to belong? How hard it would be to feel so foreign, to have such different taste, and life experiences. I often think about how long I spent in Ukraine and what a hassle and time consuming process it was how I couldn't understand the rules, the language, the weird food, everything but I realize that was just a taste of what my little boy has to deal with on a day to day bases and he's handling it so much better than I could.
Last night I made sugar cookies for our trip and I was rolling them out while talking with my Mom. The last time I made sugar cookies with Alex was the 1st day he was in our home last October. My other children were snitching the dough and I pinched some off to give him a taste. He put it in his mouth and than spit it right out back into my bowl made a retching sound and a terrible face. I reminded him of this last night as he snitched his third helping of dough right along with the rest of the kids and he laughed. Looking back at that lost little boy that spit in my bowl to the happy sweet child that sits before me now pleading for just one more taste was one of those rosy & marveling moments that I had envisioned.
Despite the difficulties, the drama and the tears, Alex is ours and he is home...
Why? Not super sure but something to do with the fact that we have not vacationed AT ALL this summer, haven't once been pulled behind my Dad's boat-be it on ski's or tubes-and this is the last weekend we can possibly go.
Now, don't be thinking me too heroic. I've recruited my family to go with me. My parents, my brothers and my sisters family are joining us for this fun filled weekend. Troy is pulling the Taj-our camping trailer that is named after the Taj Mahal-not for it's perfect symmetry and beauty but because it's just HUGE-it sleeps nine. We are co-owners of this trailer with my brother Troy-who drags it up to Parker Mountain each hunting season where it freezes & falls apart. We occasionally hook it up to Moby-our great white whale crew cab Ford pick up-and take it camping. Who cleans it? Me. Who repairs it? James and sometimes my Dad-because it's usually the deer hunters that break it-and who stores it? We do.
So, we (Rylee and Alex and I) managed to get the two inches of deer hunting dirt off the floor and counter tops and Troy has it hooked up and we're heading out after work hours today. I've got to finish baking and packing. Not too sure about going without James as I don't even know how to work the lantern or where it is or any of those little camping details. Yep, this will be an adventure.
Alex is so excited, he's been counting down the days until we leave. I think everyone is excited (except maybe me) but he doesn't keep his excitement under wraps. I hope he's not disappointed. He asked me what we will do while camping and I told him we'd ride in the boat, water ski, play games and if he wants he can bring a fishing pole. He told me "No own my." Which translated means "I don't have my own fishing pole." (I'm getting really good at Ukranglish!) I told him I'm sure he can use one of his Dad's.
This morning we talked about looking around and taking notice of things before asking questions. I was making FOUR peanut butter sandwiches when Alex came up and said "No me peanut butter." I said "Alex, how many sandwiches do you see me making?" "Four" "How many children do I have?" "Five." "Do you think I'm making you a peanut butter sandwich?" "No." Then I told him he could help me and gave him stuff to make himself a bologna sandwich. This may sound stupid but he's always asking me obvious questions that just require a slight observation for an obvious answer.
I'm worried about him at school today. We did a practice spelling test last night and he missed 15 out of 20 and as mentioned his vocabulary is VERY hard. I told him that if he does poorly-that's okay, we'll just keep working on it. I made him promise no matter how he does to not cry. He can come home and cry with me. He agreed.
I also gave him back his DS to charge for the trip. He's been without it for a week due to our trust issues of him sneaking it into bed and playing it when he's suppose to be asleep.
I realize that about 75-90% of my blog is about Alex as he takes up about 75-90% of my time and attention. We talked about this at our parent lunch this week. When we started this journey of bringing Alex home I was so focused on just that, bringing him home that I gave very little thought to what life would be like once he was home. It's not that this isn't what I thought it would be like, it's that I really never thought about what it would be like. I think I just imagined rosy times of him marveling and loving his new life here and all of us just happy as clams. I didn't think about the nitty-gritty day to day obstacles we'd face or the basic principles of living in a family that he would be lacking. If you've followed my blog faithfully-I may have lead you astray. I seem to only blog about the sweet things, or the funny things although I have thrown in a few of the things we have issues with (like baths, shoes on the couch, trust, etc) but I'll be honest, THE FIRST COUPLE OF MONTHS HAVE BEEN VERY HARD! And even now after four months we sometimes have HARD days. I expect a lot and he has no idea what to expect. I try hard to think about his point of view and limited understanding but I know I'm tougher on him then I am on my other children. Not because I want to be but that I'm trying to teach him all that he missed in his first 10 almost 11 years of life. I am blunt, I am to the point and I don't mince words or consequences with Alex. He doesn't always understand but nods and I think he understands and then repeats the wrong behavior the next day. He gets angry, cries, won't look at me and the worst is he won't talk or try to tell me how he feels or express his point of view. The first week he was here I sent him to his room for hurting Rylee's feelings and he scratched himself out of our family picture he had on his dresser. That was a little dramatic. He's hid from me, stomped off and thrown things around. He can talk so harsh that it makes my eyes water and he demands equality that he has yet to deserve. He's often self absorbed and seems to only want to have fun. He's always comparing and overly concerned with his siblings and what privileges and belongings they have and he monopolizes James and his time.
But in the same breath, truth be told, I have a very loving, eager to please little boy that carries very little baggage despite his rough start. He has no qualms accepting me as his mother and James as his father. He's generous to a fault. He's kind to animals and babies. He's willing to try new things and although he sighs and groans and would avoid studying if it were not for my constant reminders, he does study. He's the first to get his job done and the first to run and get things from food storage or grandmas house. He tells me each day when he throws his arms around me after school, "I miss-ed you." He wants so badly to be an "American boy" to fit in and belong. Don't we all want to belong? How hard it would be to feel so foreign, to have such different taste, and life experiences. I often think about how long I spent in Ukraine and what a hassle and time consuming process it was how I couldn't understand the rules, the language, the weird food, everything but I realize that was just a taste of what my little boy has to deal with on a day to day bases and he's handling it so much better than I could.
Last night I made sugar cookies for our trip and I was rolling them out while talking with my Mom. The last time I made sugar cookies with Alex was the 1st day he was in our home last October. My other children were snitching the dough and I pinched some off to give him a taste. He put it in his mouth and than spit it right out back into my bowl made a retching sound and a terrible face. I reminded him of this last night as he snitched his third helping of dough right along with the rest of the kids and he laughed. Looking back at that lost little boy that spit in my bowl to the happy sweet child that sits before me now pleading for just one more taste was one of those rosy & marveling moments that I had envisioned.
Despite the difficulties, the drama and the tears, Alex is ours and he is home...
4 of my blog friends said something...:
Good post, Wendy. You have a talent. And by the way, I love how you nickname everything. Taj? Moby? I remember your yellow suitcase is Mustard. Have fun camping.
Awesome post! have a wonderful labor day weekend. Stay safe! we love all of you.
You will do great camping!! I know you will! Have fun!
I enjoyed the truthfulness to this post. We are all working through the kinks and it is nice to know we're not alone. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and we're getting closer!
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