Swear Words

Last night I finally watched Julie & Julia. Kambree saw it in the theater and gave it a horrible review-of course she doesn't cook or blog and has no idea who Julia Child's is-but friends of mine and my mother loved it so I borrowed it from my mom and watched last night while James went to a guy movie night with his brother and my brothers. Austin was gone for the evening so it was Dev, Ry, me and poor Alex-the lone boy. Kambree would pop her head in ever so often and ask if we hated it? Isn't it boring? No, we actually all liked it-even Alex laughed and seemed to understand it for the most part.
There's a part in the show where Julia Child's husband says the "F" word. We all groaned and Alex looked puzzled but said nothing.
I had gone over swear words with Alex a few weeks ago-much to the dismay of Rylee-who informed me I needed to repent for saying the actual words. I explained that it's impossible for Alex to actually know what swear words are if I just spell it or tell him "S-word" etc. So I did, I said all the swear words just so he'd be clear on what is unacceptable in our home. (I must confess that he's probably heard a few mild swear words from the lips of yours truly!) He's never had a problem and has said "heck" and "gosh" since he started speaking English. Last week he started saying "darn-it". (That and "time out" when ever he needs time to think of what he's trying to say.) He has mispronounced a few words that have come out sounding like swear words and of course his siblings are quick to laugh and correct him.
Anyway, so later in the show the main character hears that Julia Child's didn't care for her blog and she's trying to analyze why. She asks her husband that maybe it's because she used the "F" word a couple of times? Alex again looks puzzled and then asks,
"Mom, what "F" word? Fabulous??"
We all started laughing. It's true fabulous is a "F" word and one of Alex's favorite. Alex uses fabulous all the time in his daily speech and journal writing.
His first fabulous sentence was this:
"Today I was lettle skar to say sorry I was fantabelous"
We added fabulous to his dictionary and within the last couple of weeks here is how many times the fabulous word has cropped up in his writing:
I lake my mom she is fabulous
I ben fabulous yastaday.
I like my family they ar fabulous gass (guys)
I feel fabulous today.
I am having a fabulous today.
I like my fabulous family.
No, Alex, the "F" word is not fabulous! I hate to even tell him what it is-again. I think I'll just wait until the day when he blurts it or can say it himself? Or his siblings tattle on him? Won't that be fabulous?

American Math...

Alex asked me if I wanted to hear about his dream this morning.

Me: Sure
Alex: I dream about Bogdan (his cute little friend from the orphanage-that he refers to as his "little buddy") He get adopted, live close, like-ahhhh-(struggling with finding the word) neighbor? (Wow! Didn't know he knew that word!) I play with him, I teach him English, I teach him American Math.
Me: American Math?
Alex: Yes.
Me: The math here is different than it is in Ukraine?
Alex: Yes.
Me: (Baffled) No it's not. Math is the same everywhere. Did you learn how to add?
A: Yes
M: Subtract?
A: Yes
M: Multiply?
A: Yes.
Me: See? It's all the same, we all use the same numbers.
A: No! In Ukraine we no have 1/2 !
Me: Fractions? (laughing now) That's just because you hadn't learned fractions yet.
A: (nodding as the light dawns) Oh.....

I just had to show you!!

Oh my goodness....I'm giddy with excitment!
So, months ago I took a class from Grocery Smarts about how to save money on your grocery bill. I've been taking FOUR Sunday papers since the end of November to start my stock pile of coupons. I've saved a little here and there (a couple weeks ago I got Crest toothpaste for twenty five cents, DanActive for 88 cents but nothing that amazing.)
BUT TODAY LOOK WHAT I GOT.....

$154.43 worth of grocery's for $51.99!!!
Can you believe it?

Oh my goodness! It was so exhilarating! Like a sport!
Just had to share....

Following my heart.....

Lunch today was so therapeutic. It might sound as if we get together and complain about our adopted children but really we just compare notes and it buoy's us up to hear that other children cry, melt, stomp, hate to study, etc...
I go home feeling fortunate that I have Alex and I'm sure each of my friends go home feeling the same way about their children.
When we decided to adopt, we didn't research "post adoption" issues. I knew nothing about RAD or attachment disorders, I didn't follow any blogs that talked about acclimating or how difficult it would be to teach a child at the age of ten the things you've taught your other children from birth. Nope. I just jumped in heart first.
I knew Alex was suppose to be part of our family and I focused on dossiers, airfare, how much this would cost and where the money would come from. I didn't think about real life after the adoption. The adjusting, the family dynamics, the details of reality.
I took some time a few days ago to go back and read where I was last year at this time, the anticipation, the worry, the connection I felt with Alex half a world away and I was so grateful I recorded all my feelings and experiences. I needed to remind myself how hard I worked and how much I wanted this. I also like to look back and read about when we hosted him and his first weeks home and see how far we've come.
So truth be told-the first few months were hell, with the thought, "What was I thinking?" running continually through my head. It was not easy and I found myself doing a lot of soul searching and realizing that I was not the loving, accepting, wonderful person that I thought I was. This little boy, so dependent on me was giving me claustrophobia. I actually had feelings of dread when he'd wake up in the morning. Seriously. I was sure I'd made a terrible mistake but I didn't want to tell anyone as I-and really I alone-had made this mistake.
Adopting isn't like getting a dog from the pound. This is a person. A little neglected person that followed me half way around the world and left all that he knows-be it good or bad-and is trusting me to love him and teach him and show him the way. I was seriously doubting my ability to love and care for this boy in those first few months. He was just so...foreign? He always seemed so angry, so selfish, so hyper vigilant about who got what, who went where, when none of it was his business. He was so needy and seemed to be everywhere, always demanding my attention or monopolizing James. He didn't seem to like anyone but James and I. He wouldn't participate, open up, or entertain himself. He expected to instantly have all the worldly possessions that everyone else had, DS, I-pods, cell phones. What we had provided just didn't seem enough. It was killing me that we'd spend almost 30K, provided him with his own room, clothes, a home a family and all he wanted was more! He didn't even smell like my other children. He wouldn't talk to me and didn't try and would cry, pout and sulk over the simplest tasks and events. Like being "it" in hide-n- go seek, getting tagged in flag football, being asked to take a bath and even worse....use soap?? Really simple basic things.
Nine months later, things are so much better. He still struggles to control his tears-cried when he lost a game of Halo to Austin last weekend-but he's finally fitting and doesn't seem so foreign. He's figuring out how to be a sibling, has friends, knows the rules, tries-most the time-with his homework and has figured out that taking a bath and using soap is easier than getting back in three times. He laughs, sings, whistles, tries to tell jokes, talk about his dreams, climbs on my lap and sighs with his head tucked against my shoulder and yes, I even know and love his smell. (As long as he remembers to use soap!) That's not to say life's a piece of cake but everyday we take a few steps forward and less steps backwards.
People ask, if you had known all this prior would you do it again? If you had asked me three to five months ago-my answer would have been NO WAY! But that's like asking a woman who just delivered a ten pound baby after 30 hours of labor if she's planning on having more children. At the moment? NO!! But like the woman who gave birth-since I actually have been that woman and repeated the whole pregnancy/birth ordeal four times-time heals so much and memories get fuzzy and so today, my answer is Yes! Yes, of course I would! I went half way around the world to find this little boy and jumped through all those international adoption hoops, and paid all that money and I'm so glad I did. I followed my heart!
We had the missionary's over for our last new member lesson and Alex insisted I sit by him. "Mom you sit be me so you translate."
"Alex, they're speaking English. I'm not translating."
But he was right, each time the missionary's would say something and I could tell Alex wasn't getting it, I'd relate a story or incident that he could relate to until he understood what they were saying. Towards the end of our discussion , the missionary's asked if he planned on serving a mission. (This is a hard concept for Alex as he JUST found a family and home and the idea of leaving for two years seems a little overwhelming-I think.) He told them he would go if his mom could come translate. Ha! I jokingly asked what we would do if we got called to Ukraine and he rolled his eyes and sighed, "Oh great." As he knew I wouldn't be any help translating in Ukraine!
Last night he asked if I could carry him like a baby to bed. I think it was more of a challenge than an actually need to be carried like a baby. Luckily for me, he weighs very little AND I work out at the gym regularly so I did carry him to bed. He wanted to talk. Mostly about his birthday. When I told him it wasn't July yet he decided to ask me questions about myself. "When you born Mom?" then before I could answer he asked "No, tell me Austin born." So I shared stories about Austin when he was a a baby and toddler. Alex laughed and laughed. Twenty-eight minutes later I told him he had to go to sleep. "No Mom. I want talk you more." "You can talk to me more tomorrow!" Five months ago, I never thought I'd be saying that!
I'm so glad I hung in there and that I did follow my heart. He's our boy. It just took awhile to find him under all that hurt, language barrier and institutionalized upbringing.
To those of you struggling with the same I wish you patience, empathy and please know that you can vent/cry/let it out with me anytime!
Thanks again for lunch my friends!

Hodgpodge of January Pics....

My really curly hair....

Kambree heading to Snow for Snowblast!

Devree in her nerd glasses

Quilting at the Humanitarian Center

Alex asleep in front of the fire with his head in the dog bed!

Jazmine and Rylee squishing Chance!

Our new leather couches!

Devree's impromptu marshmallow roasting party in our driveway

Celebrating Rylee and James (upcoming) birthday at the family party on Sunday

We put on 26 & 1/2 candles-which is an average of their ages!

Borshcht

Nine months ago today I returned home with Alex.
I would like to say in honor of this occasion, Alex and I made borscht but-in all honesty-I totally forget what day it was until later that night!

We took lots of pictures to document this momentous event (but due to some glitch in our downloading a few have been lost!) because I wasn't sure I'd ever make this again.
So.... I'd been dreading making borscht as it sounded over whelming and I HATE beets. Alex had been asking repeatedly when we were going to make borscht-ever since I got my "Ward Cookbook Around the World" for Christmas and showed him a recipe for borscht. So although it's been nine months since we've been home, he's only been bothering me for just over a month to make it! I didn't use the cookbook recipe as I just didn't know what it would turn out like and it seemed so very complicated so I turned to my blogging friend, Diana @ Gold to Refine.
On Saturday we had a couple hours between basketball games and I had bought the beets earlier in the week and we just went for it! It involves A LOT Of shredding! Alex peeled the beets (I'm missing the picture showing his purple stained hands and the candid picture of me trying to wipe purple beet juice off his nose before we posed for our picture with me holding cabbage and him holding the beets with his stained fingers. Where those pictures are....who knows??)
Here's me shredding cabbage:
Here we are with our piles of shredded veggies
This the pot of boiled potato chunks, cabbage, kidney beans, (the recipe calls for Pinto but I didn't have any and used Kidney-tasted just fine) meat (I used canned chicken-thanks Diana for that short cut!) and the pan of sauteed carrots, onions, and cabbage.

When you add the sauteed veggies, then the soup turns a beautiful red/purple.

Here's Alex soaking up the "smell" of borscht.

Here is the finished product. ( Hummm....I should have wiped off the outside of the bowl!) Notice my cute Ukraine decor?? (My thought was I might get an invite to post on Sara's recipe blog if she's impressed with my pictures. Hint, hint!)
You serve it with a dollop of sour cream and a sprinkle of dill. (Dill is on EVERYTHING in Ukraine!) So without further ado, here it is.....

But more importantly here is the happy face that made it all worth it...

He gave me a big thumbs up and "Good, good good Borscht!" He said it was the best borscht ever.
And everyone (at home) liked it!!

No, really. They did like it.
James ate two bowls and yes, believe it or not, I even liked it!!
I will make it again-now that I know what beets look like in the produce department and have a recipe that everyone liked- but for now, there's a big bowl in the fridge that should last Alex for awhile.

Rylee's Birthday!

It's official! At 4:18pm yesterday Rylee turned ten! She is now a decade old. The days approaching her birthday were filled with lots of "last time as a nine year old" moments. Wednesday night as I tucked her into bed she told me "This is the last time you'll tuck a nine year old into bed" and before that she ate a piece of chocolate proclaiming"This is the last piece of chocolate I will eat as a nine year old!" Yes, it was all very dramatic.
I brought cupcakes to school for her to share with her class mates and for dinner she had requested a salad so we had a spinach chicken salad and rolls. Austin couldn't believe we were only eating salad for dinner. "Where is the rest of dinner?"
Then Rylee headed off to dance. She dances with Murray Community and is now in a class that shares the same dance room as the Murray High Dance Company so Kambree and her friend Kamille had a little surprise for her in the dance room:

She loved it!!
Then she rushed home to greet her guest. We had a "spa"velous birthday party and twelve giggly, wiggly and LOUD little girls attended. Each were instructed to wear a robe, slippers and pull their hair back. They were ushered into the "waiting"room (living room) where there was tranquil music playing and teen magazines to thumb through. Why I thought this would be a peaceful tranquil party is beyond me as these girls were so very loud they couldn't even hear let alone appreciate my peaceful ambiance!
My assistants (Kambree, Devree, Kamille and Jazmine) brought each girl back one at a time and applied their hydrating masks.

Then they were ushered back into the living room to relax with cool cucumbers to refresh their tired eyes....(oh, wait that was ME with tired eyes!)

(The above photo might make you think they were calm and peaceful....but NOT! This is one of many photo's as someone was always wiggling, giggling or moving and taking off their cucumbers! By the way, I found at least six cucumbers slices strewn about the waiting room/living room floor before night was over.)
Then one at a time they were taken back and my assistants washed off their mask, applied a refreshing toner and then it was on to the manicures...

Rylee had requested a "cookie cake" from Mrs. Fields.

After nails Rylee opened presents....

Even Edward made an appearance-which caused-much to every one's dismay over ten year old-very loud squealing and screams that continued until Edward graciously left the room.

Blowing out the "cookie cake" to a very loud and rousing rendition of the Birthday Song.

The whole gang!
We handed out headbands and little bags with bubble bath, a bath scrubby and lip gloss for party favors. Whew! It was fast, sweet and very crazy! And thank heaven's for my assistants!!

The boys were sequestered to the basement during the party but HAD to come up early because they were "starving" from their pathetic salad for dinner and needed nourishment. They grabbed crackers and were sent right back downstairs. After the girls left they came up and polished off the cookie-cake. This is Austin with the left over head bands on, pretending to eat the rest of the cookie!

Ry then opened family gifts:

She got a Barbie, an electric shaver for her legs (she's been asking for one of these for months!) a head massage thingy-ma-bob (another coveted gift), a crochet head band that is all the rage and new sheets and comforter set for her new bed. (She also got a cute new nightstand!)

We had moved and assembled her new bed while she was away at dance-to surprise her. I would like to say it was a big surprise but she actually had spotted it in the garage but she put on quite the show acting surprised. Yes, she's inherited her acting abilities from yours truly.

Happy Birthday Rylee!! I can't believe my baby is ten!!

Alex's sick day

So, Alex WAS sick.
I checked on him before bed and he was still very hot-despite the ibuprofen dose and then Wednesday morning I got home from the gym and he came down all clammy and pale and told me he "frowed up" but he "cleaned up my mess" I asked where his mess was? (With dread as the sight of barf makes me dry heave!) and he told me toilet. We went in and I didn't see anything...whew! I stuck him right back in bed with a barf bowl and a cool wet rag on his forehead. After getting the other children off to school I brought him peppermint tea and toast with instructions to try and eat very slowly. He sat up and ate like a robot. Now, my other children simply refuse to eat when they have the stomach flu but I think Alex thought he HAD to eat. By the time I realized this, he was done with his toast and 1/2 his tea. I explained that he didn't HAVE to eat it but it would help him feel better if he throws up again as it's easier if you have something in your tummy. He promptly put the tea down and went back to sleep for and hour. He didn't throw up anything more but had a temp of about 102 so I gave him another dose of ibuprofen-as he hadn't thrown up the toast and tea and I was hoping the ibuprofen would stay down and put him in the family room to watch a movie. He told me he had never had a fever before, then asked if I had a thermometer that goes under your armpit? No. Just a digital. Then he told me in Ukraine they use the under the armpit thermometer and he told me he would "blow his wind" (breath) on the thermometer so it would look like he had a fever and then he could go to the hospital. (Yes, they go to the hospital for fevers in the orphanage!) He told me he did this to get out of school. We laughed and I told him how I did the same thing with a light bulb to my mom when I was little.
We talked a little about why (maybe) he never had a fever before and with some suggestions from me came up with the fact that when he was in the orphanage there was no one to take care of him so he couldn't get sick, now that he has a mama it's okay to get sick every once in awhile because Heavenly Father knows he has someone to love him and take care of him. He seemed content with this idea.
He asked for tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch so I knew the flu like part had subsided and his fever had gone down so I asked if he felt well enough to go to the appliance store with me? We could stop and buy him a Sprite? Of course he was game. We stopped at Wendy's and a he/she person was working the drive up window. Huge women(?) with a deep voice and lots of makeup-missing 1/2 her/his teeth. I discreetly pointed her out to Alex and he causally glanced-impressive as Rylee would have gawked-and then looked away as if it was nothing. As we drove away I asked if he thought "it" was a woman or a man? He told me he thought a woman and her husband beat her up. Why? Because her teeth are missing? No mom, bruises. Wow. How observant-and sad-for an eleven year old boy to notice those types of things. She did have bruises (that or hickeys?) on her neck and I think maybe her face but since I was fixated on her teeth I'm not really sure. I told him if that were true how sad I was. Why? he asked. I said because women should never get beat up by their husbands. Then he said something that warmed my heart. "That is why boys don't hit girls." That's right I said, if you learn to not hit girls when you are little you won't hit girls when you are big. I think he's getting it!!
We went to the appliances store and he helped me select a new dryer. I am a fan of used appliances and went to a place that reconditions appliances-offering a 90 day warranty and lifetime free labor-you just pay for the parts. When we got back in the car Alex told me "Cool, cool store! I like that store!" Really? The used appliance store??? "Yes I want to work and fix things!" He was seriously elated. Later that night he told me he wished he didn't have to go to school, just go to work and fix things. I don't know what this boy will do in the future but it will defiantly be something along the lines of building or fixing things!
We went to the Russian store on our way home and it was like stepping into Ukraine. It even smelled like Ukraine. He picked out some candy and we bought some of those cabbage stuffed scone's that we use to buy walking the streets of Dniprozerzink. I also bought a big package of Russian cookies for him to share with his class today. His birthday falls in the summer and today is his 1/2 birthday (And Rylee's REAL birthday!! I will blog about her on my next post and cover her party! Wish me luck-we have 12 girls coming tonight for facials, and manicures!) so I thought it would be nice for him to share something with his class to celebrate his summer birthday.
James got home last night. Hurray! Alex gets so excited on James arrival days, asking when he'll be home all day long and checking outside every time he hears a car approach. James was fixing one of our lights last night and Alex was right there with him checking it out and being his right hand man. Can I just say...."I told you so!" When James was struggling after our hosting experience deciding if he could love this boy and accept him as his son I told him something to the effect that he just needs to give him some time. That he and Alex have so much in common and that he is the type of boy that will be under the hood right next to him and helping him with every project and guess what....I was right!!
We did work on English and reading and go over his spelling words. I've started Alex keeping his own dictionary, I made a little book with the letter of the alphabet on each page and every time he asks me how to spell a word or I correct a word, he records it in his dictionary and then he can refer to it when he's writing. I remember a 2nd grade class doing this when I substituted. I think it won't be so overwhelming as a real dictionary and it will be filled with words that he actually uses.
It was a sweet day, unplanned and unexpected but nice to spend time with my Alex.

This and that....

My oh my.....
While shopping for Rylee's birthday present. (A bigger bed as she's the only one still in a twin.) I came across a fabulous steal on leather couches. As my white (I know....What were you thinking?) couches in my family room were shabby and ugly, I felt justified in replacing them. Although I took pictures on my cell phone to send to James for approval, he didn't respond so I made the executive decision and bought them! (They were 25% off the clearance price and seriously a deal! Oh, and non-refundable- so, I really hope James likes them!) My brother Arron brought his trailer to the furniture store and loaded them up and Austin and his friends took care of the white set. (The love seat has found a home in Austin's bachelor pad and the couch is covered in plastic awaiting summer for Austin and his friends to lounge on in the backyard-with the promise that when I say it goes....it goes!!)
Alex upon seeing the new couches said, "Mom I think we millionaire!" Ha!
Then without warning the next day my dryer's heating element or coil or whatever that makes your clothes warm went out. Boo. I hate replacing things like dryers, water heaters, tires, all those boring things! No fun at all. (Note to universe: All though I'm complain I am grateful for all these things and the ability we have to replace them-despite the lack of fun and grandeur in doing so.)
This morning I went to the Humanitarian Center and they put us to work tying quilts for earthquake victims in Haiti.
Then Amy and I tried to find the appliance store I saw on line-with no luck, dropped in to NPS and the distribution center (Alex asked for an ENGLISH animated Book Of Mormon stories-"I no can read this!" he told me about the Russian one I have in my Sunday bag) and then we had a lovely lunch!
So...I decided on Sunday I wanted to have curly hair...again. Use to have curly hair all the time in the 80's and have had a perm here and there since but it's been a few years. So after lunch I went in for a perm and I now look like a poodle. Yes, teeny tiny curls. Oh my. It's a bit out of control. We'll see if it dies down.
This evening I went with Kambree to a Snow College open house. After checking out Utah State's scholarship options I suggested she check out other schools. (Nothing like the last minute, most applications and scholarship deadlines are February 1st!) Kam has a friend attending Snow and decided to go down this weekend for "Snowblast" to check out the school. While checking out their website we discovered she could get a scholarship but we couldn't apply on line-some glitch in their program so I called on Monday and found out TONIGHT there were having an open house in Sandy. We went, the application fee was waived, they offered her 1/2 tuition, handed us four other scholarship options, found out when dance and drill team tryouts are and set up an interview for an ambassador scholarship. Whew! All in an hour. I think my baby's going to be a Badger! (She was only one point off on her ACT or .10 off on her GPA from getting a full tuition scholarship!)
When I arrived home, I found Alex asleep in front of the fire with HIS head in the dog bed-just like Austin the other day. Austin came in and whispered, you better take his picture, he's been laying there waiting for you to come home and take his picture. I did and then roused him to get up and into bed. He complained that his head was "bonking" so after his bath I gave him ibuprofen and he went straight to bed. I hope it's just from overheating in front of the fire and that he's not getting sick.
This morning Alex asked me "Where Kambree live when she marry?" (NOT that she is anytime soon!) "I don't know Alex, in an apartment? When children get married they move out and live on their own." (Yes, I'm planting seeds early!) You could see the look of concern in his eyes. I went on to explain. "You shouldn't get married unless you can support yourself and live on your own." Then he asked "When I marry and work and wife work who watch baby? You watch baby!" "Uhm....no. I am not a babysitter, when you have a baby you need to make enough money that your wife can stay home OR pay for a babysitter." Then we talked about how his cousin Sydi has a babysitter and Zach goes to a babysitter. I know this is hard for Alex to fathom as in Ukraine that's what babushka's are for-babysitting! But again, I'm planting seeds early! What an interesting conversation. And I LOVE that we are having conversations lately. Full blown conversations. I wasn't sure this time would ever come but although his English is rough-he can get his point across!
Well, it's Tuesday night. Piano and voice lesson night. I love that my house if full of music from 6:15-9:15 pm.
James is home tomorrow! Hurray!!
But, I don't know what to worry about him liking more,
the couches
or
my curly hair!

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery during a detour.
~Mark Twain.

I came across this quote on another blog today and loved it! I want to be a truly happy person-I just need to appreciate the detours of life more! Instead of worrying and being disappointed that things aren't turning out just like I had planned. So this is my quote for the week!

Here's too detours, happiness and figuring it out!