Austin @ Spring Fling!

Kambree's Blog

Hey! Please check out my cute daughters blog!

http://kambreerichhart.blogspot.com/
I've convinced her to start a blog so I can stalk her when she goes away to school. Her first post was pretty cute-amazing to think this blog may capture the most important decisions and times of her life. 

So drop over and say hi, she could use a comment of support!

Thanks tons!

W

Oh my....

One year ago today we left for Ukraine.
One year.
Oh my, it seems like yesterday and yet it seems like Alex has always been ours.
How can that be?
I've decided to follow my blog one day at time from last year and relive our experience. I remember being so very excited and nervous.

I wish I could have had a video of mine and Alex's talk after school yesterday. It was about the maturation program. Devree had asked how the maturation program went to both Rylee and Alex as they came in from school. Rylee proceeded to answer but Alex walked off, following me into my office. I said,

Alex, Devree asked how the maturation program went.

I not talk her about it!

Why?

(Shrug)

Were you embarrassed?

Yes.

Oh, honey. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. 

In utter disgust & bewilderment Alex looks at me.

Mom you know penis?

Umm...yes?

You know penis get hard?

Umm....yes.....

You know why?

Uhh...why don't you tell me?

Excited!

The contempt and bewilderment is what is not coming across in this post. His eyes are as big as saucers and he's just appalled!

Didn't you know that?

No!

Well, good then you learned something today.

Then he proceeds,

And we learn about girls. Girls have....umm......

Girls have?

You know. Boys have penis girl have........

He's using both hand gesturing towards his lap and he's just not finding the word. I'm not sure what word he's looking for. And not wanting to introduce any new words and have to make further explanation at this point to add to the confusion I went with:

Oh, you learned about girls private parts?

Yes! 

 (Huge shudder and grimace on his part.)

Then he moved on to another subject and we didn't mention it again.

I was so proud of myself. I didn't crack. I laughed later when he left to go build a fort with Brach. And I laughed again with my friend at the gym this morning. The look. I wish I had the look of bewilderment and disgust and exasperation and this post just doesn't do the story justice! 

Oh my.

So, Brach and Alex are building a fort. First it was digging a hole in the field behind Kam's house. A hole that they were going to put a TV in and have tunnels connecting it to other holes. (Who's TV? No idea. How were they going to power it? Again no idea. But they're out there digging a hole and moving about an inch or two of dirt a day so Kam and I figured....why stop them?) Now it's going to be a wood fort out of the old wood from our makeshift stairs that we took out to have out deck installed. Alex is attempting to haul it over in the wagon. This I believe will be an all summer project.

Alex had a sliver in his hand last night from the wood and tried to tell me it was just dirt. I made him get me a needle. He said, 'You no hurt me Mom." I won't. And I didn't. He was so impressed and had to admit when I pulled it out that it wasn't just dirt!

I've been working on helping Alex identify feelings. Sunday morning he got up and made German pancakes for the family.(Yes, all on his own. He helped Rylee make them one morning and so he knew where to find the recipe and he's all about "If Rylee can do it, so can I!" ) He also straightened up the family room. You could tell he was quite proud of himself and I thanked him profusely for both tasks. He came in after wards and wrapped his arms around me and said "Mom I loves you sooo much!" This sort of came out of no where. I told him I loved him too and asked why he thinks he loves me sooo much?

Because I make breakfast and clean up living room!
I realized later that what he felt WAS love. The good feeling you get when you serve those around you. Later that night we talked about showing love through service and feeling good about serving. I think he was just bursting with joy from his service and only had the words I love you to explain that wonderful, happy feeling inside him.

He also came home last week and told me-that a voice but not a voice told him him in his head:

"Alex, don't forget your Spotlight*." 

(He's saying this in a theatrical spooky voice.)

*Spotlight is the book report form I had asked him to get because he set his first one on the counter in something sticky.

I told him that was probably the Holy Ghost reminding him to get his homework. 

Then he told me once the voice also said

"Alex don't forget basketball."

That's great I said. You are listening to the Holy Ghost.Those are promptings. It's great that you are listening and understanding. The Holy Ghost can help you make decisions and keep you safe but you have to learn to hear his voice.

Later that night in his journal he wrote:

I like when voices in my head speak to me.

Oh dear.

That's sounds a little disturbed.

We talked about how crazy people hear voice too. Voices that say bad things or tell them to do bad things. Maybe we should clarify what he means by voices? And on his own he wrote:

I like it when the Holy Ghost speak to me.

Whew!

That sounds so much better!

Oh my, who would have guessed a year later we'd be here learning about maturation, building forts and feeling the spirit? It makes me excited for the next year!

International Language of Cars....

What's with boys and cars? It's an international language with boys, one that can bridge all communication. Alex LOVES cars. The first word I ever heard him say was "Honda". This was when he saw our van in the airport parking lot when we picked him up for the hosting program. To which Austin replied "You might know Honda but I'm going to teach you Zonda!" (Austin's all time favorite car is a Zonda Roadster!")

For the longest time once we got Alex home he would ask me what the "two flag" car was called. I, not being a car person (I can tell you the color-maybe what the bumper sticker said-and if I can see inside I can remember if it was clean or dirty or what the drivers hair looked like but make and model? Heck no!) had no idea what he was talking about. For the longest time he couldn't seem to find a "two flag" car to show me. Finally  he found one-it was a Corvette! (Whew! Even I know a Corvette and could help him out with that info!)
Well, today we saw this car-or one very similar-coming home from school. And the back seat of my car erupts with enthusiasm. (Alex, Brach & Tyler were in the back.)
Alex starts cat calling....

"Oh baby!Yeah! Whoohoo!"

He's tapping the window trying to get the attention of the driver.

He exclaims:
"A MILLION time nice!!"

After the noise level dies down and the car gets out of sight, 

Rylee-sitting in the front seat-informs they boys that her first car is going to be a blue Camaro. It's going to blue with a white stripe and she's going to spray paint her hand blue on it. (I'm shaking my head in disbelief.) Then she clarifies,
"The first car I buy."
I tell her,
"I hope you're going to have a lot of money."
Rylee says
"Oh, I am. I'm going to have a lot of money. I'm like that."

Alex tells with a little disgust and disbelief and A LOT of authority tells her,

"No, you imagination!"

At least he has a grip on reality....right?

Maturation!

So, I should be cleaning my house, working, figuring out something for dinner, or planning how to get through Thursday (I only have about a million things stacked on this day-one of them being my film shot-yes, I was cast as the vampires mother!) but instead I sit here blogging because this was just way too funny not to share.

So, about two weeks ago I got a letter IN the mail about Alex's upcoming maturation program at school. I looked at the calendar, noticed James would be away at work and checked the box yes, my child will attend and yes, I will be there and sent it back with Alex. 

Last week I got a note home for Rylee that the school has decided to invited the 4th grade girls as well. Boys and girls meet separately but unfortunately the 5th grade boys meet at the SAME time as the 4th and 5th grade girls. (4th grade boys are off the hook until next year!)  Hum....what do do. I really feel like I should be there with Alex as I don't know how much he'll understand and he might need some translating-mommy style AND I really feel like I should be there with Rylee because she is so very sensitive and I knew most everyone else would have their mom's there. 

I decided I'd just split my time between the two. 

Beforehand I thought I better make sure Rylee was clear on just what we were going to be learning about. I knew she knew the basics as living with older sisters even Austin knows the basics and since we out number the guys here we're often reminded-by Austin-that "I AM STILL IN THE ROOM!" when we talk about our cycles, need for chocolate or who's bathroom is out of  T's.

So Rylee couldn't help but know at least SOME of the mysteries of womanhood. But just to be safe I sat her down and gave her an overview. Yep, she knew it pretty much.

Now maturation has been the talk of the school. Apparently there has been a petition going around-drawn up by some boys-that attending maturation constitutes as abuse? What the heck? However, I'm sure Alex would sign, not because he thinks it's abuse or even knows what maturation is but because he loves to sign his name in cursive. I don't know whatever happened with this petition but it didn't cancel the maturation class.

So last night-while I'm talking with James on the phone-Rylee comes in and  in an attempt to stall her bedtime she asks me why I'm not having anymore babies. "Is it because my eggs are all gone?"

"What? Rylee? I am not talking to you about my eggs right now. It's way past your bedtime. Goodnight."

On the way out is dawns on her. 

"Oh, never mind. You still have your eggs because you still have that (.)"

Thanks Ry. I'm glad you figured that one out.

So, this morning I tell the kids, I'll see you at nine for the maturation program. 

Alex asks, "Mom, what maturation?"

"Oh it's just a little class on how your body works and what happens to you when you grow up."

Alex shrugs. No big deal. Or so he thinks.

Rylee rolls her eyes. She's not looking forward to this.

I start out with Alex. He's sitting next to Brach and Kammy and I are on either side of the boys. The movie comes on and talks about showering and wearing deodorant each day. I nudge Alex. He looks at me with a "this has got to be a conspiracy" roll of his eyes. Then the movie shows the male anatomy. Alex's eyes open wide, he looks at me, he looks back at the screen, then back at me and whispers loudly "Mom, this weird!" Brach at this point has his head in his hands and his elbows on his knee's. He refuses to look up. I look at Kammy. Bad decision, we both purse our lips, look forward and try not to look at each other again as we know we'll burst in to giggles over the heads of our appalled and grimacing little boys.

Alex tells me again, "Mom, this weird!" when they show what the male anatomy does when blood flows to it. Brach has still never looked up at the screen.

It's time for me leave.

I give Alex a quick squeeze and slip out to go with Rylee.

Her movie is in full swing and she has saved me a seat.

"So what do you think so far?" 

"This is weird!" 

Hum...that's the same thing Alex said.

At one point Rylee asks me if she can have chocolate when she begins this process. Funny, that's not something they talk about in the movie. But apparently a perk or at least Rylee has interrupted it as one

There were NO questions after the film. Silence. Dead silence. The girls were excused. There was a quick parent meeting. Kammy came in  and sat with me and Amy. I asked how it went with the boys after I left and she said they talked a little about girls and what they go through and Brach put his fingers in his ears and his head between his legs and Alex covered his eyes.

We laughed. Finally we could. Too funny. 

Maturation. 

What a way to start your day!

Too True Tuesday

Hum....the Too True Tuesday Topic this week is things we indulge in.
That's tricky. 

You all know I'm cheap, right? I mean I did that post on how we try to save money and I even proudly displayed my coupon success at the grocery -complete with pictures-so admitting I have indulgences is sort of hypocritical but since it's time for the truth....

I have certain name brand products I buy that I don't care what they cost, they're the best.

Crisco Shortening

Skippy or Jiff Peanut Butter

 Surf or Tide Laundry degergent

 Clorox Bleach

Professional shampoo and conditioner\

and

GOOD hairspray (like the $12 can of  Big Hair)

The rest, I can go generic on. Who cares? My friend Lori's son did a science experiement on if cookies prepared with all generic ingredients taste different/worse than those prepared with name brand ingredients and the results were the generic verison actually got MORE votes. (Which doesn't validate my need for Crisco but that's okay.)

But I don't really consider these few name brand products indulgences. Necessities, actually.

Some personal indulgences I would never go with out are:
COLORING MY HAIR

I tried it. Tried to imagine my silvery roots were actually highlights. I know it's chemicals and dye-can't possible be good for you-I mean for goodness sake they're now recommending not coloring your hair during your first trimester of pregnancy so certainly this is something I should avoid and go green etc. But I couldn't stand it!! Yuck. My hair looked dirty and old and just (insert shudder right here!). I'm a brunette darn it! You blonds out there just don't understand. A few silvery/gray hairs in your head don't stand out like a neon beacon saying "Look at me, I'm getting old!!!" We poor brunette's notice EVERY SINGE ONE!

HEATED SEATS

I know, what a baby. But I LOVE my heated seats. I worry that I'll wear the drivers side out. I don't think I turn it off October-March. I also LOVE my automatic start in my car. Perhaps it's because I have an early am-as in it's still dark and none of my neighbors lights are on in their homes early- gym person and I start my car-with the garage door open of course-while I fill my water bottle, tie my shoes and then (yawn) leave to get my girlfriend for the gym. (The important thing to note here is that I am leaving to GET my girlfriend-going on my own? Not an option. I need peer pressure to get me out of my bed at this time each morning!) If it's not my turn to drive my friends car is usually adequately warm before they pick me up and they each (I rotate between to fabulous friends MWF & TTH) have heated seats too! Yes, heated seats, auto starts.....defiantly indulgences!

400+ THREAD COUNT SHEETS

Another indulgence. I grew up knowing that you just didn't buy under 200 thread count but my first pair of 400 count....oh, my, yummy!
ELECTRIC BLANKET
Okay, maybe something is wrong with my internal temperature but between my heated seats and my electric blanket on my bed I don't know which one I could give up. Especially when James is gone. I just crank that blanket to high before I get in bed and have toasty warm blankets.....oh, la, la! I have electric blankets on everyone's bed as I think it's that necessary. But I don't know that anyone uses their blanket like I do. I know for a fact James NEVER uses his side. Which is fine, when my side wears out, I'll just flip the blanket over and use his! See? I'm still frugal....right?

Anyone else want to play along? Come on, what are YOUR indulgences!?

Memory Monday

So, I had my lovely mammogram and it just happened to be at the same office building as my children's pediatrician. On the way in from the parking garage I snapped this picture as every time I see it, it always makes me smile.

You see, when Kambree (my senior in high school) was a little lass, she asked me,
"Mom does this mean no woofs allowed?"
Well....it DOES look like a wolf....don't you think?

Devree's team WON the championship!!!

It's important to have fun, be a good sport, improve
BUT
VICTORY IS SWEET!!!
Whootwhoo!!

Alex Update...

Getting a tie lesson from Dad.

(Cute picture hu?)

Pack Meeting

Alex receives his Arrow of Light

With Brach on the bridge

And although this is not a flattering picture, I needed to document the war paint on MY cheek because of the hugs I got from Alex while his war paint was still wet!

It's been awhile since an Alex update.

He's doing very well.
Yes, still have a few issues. This morning it was chewing with his mouth open....again.
He has terrible dining habits, he eats like a toddler with a fist around his fork, shoving in bites as fast as he can, pushing the food with the fork to the edge of his plate and then slurping it off and he has no idea how to use a knife and fork.
That's okay. One step at a time.
It's the chewing with his mouth open that I can't handle. I don't know, I just can't stand to see it or hear it. Not just from Alex but from EVERYONE!! I just hate it. (That and that sound people make when the smack their lips together or make yummy moist sounds with their tongue against the top of their mouth?) Yuck.
So....today.....again.
Me: Alex how long have you been here?
Alex: Ten months
Me: And how many times have I asked you to chew with your mouth closed?
Alex: Once a month. No, once a day.
Me: Let's just say I've asked you twenty times a month. Times 10. That's 200 times. Right?
Alex: Yes.
(Insert sigh of exasperation on my part)
In addition to this Alex took strawberries from the fridge. Strawberries I was saving to make jam. I asked if he knew he wasn't suppose to have them.
Yes.
Okay, so you can write a page on why you ate the strawberries and why you can't chew with you mouth closed.
Eyes water a little. Writing. A cruel form of punishment.
Me: Alex what would you do if you had a little boy that just kept eating food that he knew he wasn't suppose to?
Alex: Ground him.
Me: But what if your little boy was very use to going without things like video games and bikes. Grounding him wasn't a big deal because he'd spent ten years of his life with nothing so a week of going without something wasn't a big deal.
Alex: (Silence-you can tell that he's thinking "Oh, crap. She figured me out!")
So that's why I've decided that your consequence from now on is going to be working or writing because you know I don't believe in spanking and whippings right?
Alex: Right.
He begins to write but not happily.
Then I start thinking out loud.
Hum, maybe I'm asking you to do the impossible. Maybe your tonsils are just to big. (He has gigantic tonsils!) Maybe they're so big that you cannot breath while you're chewing and you have to open your mouth while you chew. I know you can hardly sleep with your mouth closed. Do you have troubles breathing while you're chewing?
Alex: (Hide's his eyes. Visibly shaken. And shakes his head.)
Me: Honey what's wrong?
Alex: I no want surgery.
Me: I'm not saying you need surgery. The doctor decides that but maybe we need to have you looked out to see if there is a problem.
Alex: (Starts crying) What if something go wrong?
Me: Oh, sweetie don't cry. Nothing will go wrong and Mom and Dad won't let you have a surgery unless it's going to make your life better.
He stops crying and stares at his paper. I proceed to the shower with a threat that he'll write more if his page isn't done when I get out.
I have him go with me to drop Devree to her game.
We drop Dev off and he reads me his paper.
I touk (took) strabery's and I didno't asket. I don't want to bet (get) my tnsels (tonsils) out because I never hav (have had) sojare (surgery) before. Mom you shude (should) pot (put) saen (sign) that say do not eat the stabery's I am saven them for samthing if you pot the saing (saying?) I wood aderstant (understand) and mom I am so sorry I tock youre strabery and did not asket for youre promishen (permission). I am realy sorry and thank you for averething (everything) you did for me.
Pretty sweet and smart huh?
We had a talk about how I hated living with room mates and labeling all my food in college and how he had to hide and defend all his belongings in the orphanage and how our home shouldn't be like that. He knew the strawberries were for something special and chances are-if he had asked I would have let him have one or two but because he KNEW and he didn't ask, that was like stealing. We talked about trust and why he needed to go the game with me because I cannot trust him home alone.
He agreed this was a good idea. H knows he has to earn our trust at this point.
We talked about how if he doesn't learn how to chew with his mouth closed how embarrassed he might be when he goes on a date, or when he grows up and invents something wonderful and is invited to an awards dinner on his behalf. That people make judgments about others based on their manners and that I know he had a rough start but I want his life here to be the best it can be. We talked about how I had to teach all the other children the very same manners but they were much younger. That I know it's hard to learn all this stuff at eleven but I have to make up for all the time I missed.
We talked about the little boy I went to school with that was dirty and neglected and had terrible manners and how I don't want anyone to ever thing that Alex is not loved and cared for. Ever.
The talk went FABULOUS!
And tonight, he was consciously trying to chew with his mouth closed!
Hallelujah!
During the game one of the mom's I sat by said something about her "orphan" daughter. (This daughter has spent quite a lot of time at our home lately.) Alex, perked up.
"Orphan?"
That was a fun explanation for Alex and I had to explain to this mom where Alex came from.
On the way home, I went into it a little more detail, explaining that sometimes people refer to their children as orphans when they're dirty or uncared for because in general, most orphans are that way. I used the word adopted at some point and he said,
"Remember mom, I not adopted. Just sealed!"
"Yes, that's right but how do we explain where you came from?"
Devree suggested we just say Alex is from Ukraine.
Very tricky this no using the word adopted. I guess I'll just say imported.
On a funnier note, Alex has this groovy way of walking and bobbing up and down that he showed us today. It's very funky. I asked him why he walks like that and with a very cocky attitude he tells me
"Cause I'm Alex Richhart Benjamin" with his name all in disorder.
Too funny.
Despite the food issues, the chewing issues, the adopting issues, he's just a funny little boy that loves to make us laugh. And laugh we do!!

Glory Be And The Saints Be Praised!

That's a line from "Music Man". I played Maud (one of the trickling fountain ladies) about eleven summers ago. This line has always stuck with me and we've had so much good news lately that I thought it very appropriate for my blog title today!
1st off: Kambree was selected out of hundreds for a finalist interview for the Ambassador scholarship at Snow. She made her appointment to go down for the interview but then found out that she cannot be on the drill team AND be an ambassador. I asked her what she wanted most. To dance. Then there's your answer, call them back and politely decline the invitation. Which she did. So the good news was that she was selected as a finalist, not so good she can't participate but even better, we're done with scholarships applications and interviews! (Now she just has to focus on making the money for the rest of tuition, books and housing!)
#2 The school called and has agreed to test Alex! They're going to test him in three area's speech, social/behavior and intellectual/cogitative. This is based on the last batch of papers (including Amy's findings) and documents I sent! I found his translated medical records in our pile of adoption paper work that I tossed in a folder and never looked at. In it it said he had a class III speech disorder requiring medical, social, and educational follow up. Apparently the school needed some sort of documentation to do testing as they cannot assume that all new language learners have learning disability's-that would be discrimination. Lot's of bureaucracy in this area of schooling. Whatever. I'm just glad they're going to test him and with any luck he'll get more one on one or special needs help IN school.
#3 Even better than that my good friend and client (also with the fabulous name of Wendy) suggested Alex get some tutoring through her workplace. Only problem is, it's very expensive. My sweet friend talked to her boss and there may be a grant available for Alex as he's so new to the country? I'm so excited! I'm going to contact her boss today and see what we need to do. If the school testing doesn't come through, then I'll make arrangements to pull him out of school and have him tutored DURING school as opposed to more time out of school. If the testing does qualify him for more help in school then I'll just arrange for tutoring outside of school. And hopefully this will be something we can continue with through the summer! Oh, I feel such relief. When talking with the principal he told me I was a good advocate for Alex. Pesky Mother Bear is probably a more appropriate title but I'll take what I can get!
#4 My good friends son, Karen just got his mission call to England! What a great place! You get to go foreign WITHOUT learning a new language! (A new dialect, yes. But girls love English accents! What a bonus.) We love the Burton's. Kambree and Mathew have known each other since they were two and three. We lived next door to them in West Jordan. We're so happy for Matthew and the decision he's made to go on a mission! (Karen-I know you read my blog faithfully-you are a fabulous mother and friend! Congrats! You can do this!)
#5 Spring is coming! My pussy-willow tree is budding, my daffodils are starting to come up and our one year anniversary of going to Ukraine and getting Alex is rapidly approaching. Friends of ours are leaving Saturday to get their second daughter from Ukraine. I can't wait to watch their journey. She promised to blog lots-you can follow her on my side bar-Drew & Jen Benson. They adopted Anastassia last summer but her older sister Masha (I think she'll be going by Maria?) didn't have her paperwork filed properly in Ukraine and they have all had to wait to bring her home. It's been a long road. I'm sure they'll be so excited to unite this two sisters and complete their family. Please include them in your prayers.
Well, I'm off for a not so great appointment-my first-a mammogram. Boo. It's hard enough watching your babies grow up, go on dates, off to college and on missions but do I have to get my chest squashed too? Grrr.....
(Sorry if I've offended any of my male readers. I think it's only Andreas so I guess I should just apologize to him? If there are any more male readers-my apologies to you as well!)
Have a glorious day!