Rylee & Alex's New Glasses!

How interesting that I took the kids in for eye exams last year and they didn't need glasses and this year they both do! 

We've known from the get go that Alex has a stigmatism-he had an eye exam while we were hosting him-but when we brought him home last year it wasn't bad enough to justify glasses. Rylee has always had perfect sight. Then BAM! They each grew three inches and now need glasses. Alex's are just for reading, watching TV, seeing distances-he can play without them-thank goodness. Rylee needs her's ALL the time. Good grief.

Truly all our children got James' vision issues. Alex included. 

Another funny thing. When fitting Alex for his glasses he had a hard time with the nose piece fitting right. Rylee turned to me and said "That's because he has a bump on his nose like yours!"I looked at Alex and winked. He just grinned. So yep, he's ours. James vision and my bump!

Alex Phrases & Update

These phrases I have been collecting for the past two weeks:

That doesn't mean any sense!

Choose with your mouth closed!

I am going to baptisms for the deaf.

Can I spill it in the thing?
(Asking if he can  pour the bucket of cleaning water down the sink.)

Ella, stop licking your vagina.
(The DOG was licking her bottom. And, yes. We use atomically correct words in our house.Although I think the word bottom would suffice in this sentence and sound a whole lot nicer!)

While opening the fridge after coming in from playing outside:
A: (Sighing) It's hot in here.
Me: What? It's hot in the fridge? (Starting to panic!)
A: Oh  I mean it's cool in here. Cool & refreshing! (I have never heard him use refreshing before!)

When asking how my cookies were I got a thumbs up and an "Addictive!" Another word I've never heard him use before.

 Yesterday we went to swim and have lunch with a few other families that have adopted through Save A Child foundation. One of Alex's friends/classmates from the orphanage arrived home this weekend. The first BOY from his orphanage that has been adopted.
You would think when we get these kids together that they'd love to talk and catch up, maybe compare notes about parents? Reminisce about other friends? But nope.
After an HOUR Alex seemed to warm up to Benson but since I'm sure Benson's English is little at best and Alex's Ukraine is very rough I'm not sure they communicated much.
When I did talk to Alex he explained that he said "Hi" to Benson and "Do you remember me?" Benson nodded and that was the extent of their conversation. I asked if he asked him how he likes his new family? America? Anything? What did you talk about while you were playing?
"Nothing. We were just playing"
There were other boys and girls there too. Some very similar in age and yet if they weren't from his orphanage he didn't give them the time of day.
Odd.
If I were living in a forigen country and was put in a social situation with lots of people from my native country I would be talking and socializing with everyone.
Alex's comment on the way into the party was that he hoped his friend Cameron would be there. Uh....Cameron is his neighborhood friend. I explained that this is just a party for families that have adopted from Ukraine. Without him we wouldn't have been invited. He sighed and asked "Why we have to have party with Ukraine kids?"
Humm....anyone else have this issue?
I'm sure part of it is the language issue. Many of these kids are still fluent as they have a group of Ukraine friends they still hang with here in America and others were adopted in pairs so there's a sibling to keep the language up with. Alex honestly cannot understand much besides the basics and claims everyone talks so fast. But I think it's more than that. I think he wants so much to close that chapter in his life. Move on. Forget about it. Is that healthy? We have never referred negatively to Ukraine-at least in front of him. We try to cook Ukraine food sometimes, I have decorations from Ukraine through the house and I have Ukriane things in his room but he's slowly getting rid of them now that I think about it. His Ukraine flag has disappeared and the other day he wanted me to find someone to give his Ukraine book of fables to.
Hum....
On another note. One of my daughters-who shall remain nameless-came home from the pool party and announced that Ukraine boys are HOT! To which Alex proudly proclaimed, "I'll be hot when I grow up too!"
Wow. That's confidence!

Side Note:  Unnamed daughter thought the boy in the white swim trunks was especially cute-not sure who's son he is AND another young man that when I told her was NOT from Ukraine she asked me
"Then what was he was doing there?" Uh....being a sibling to a Ukrainian like you!? Good grief!

Attention bloggy friends!!

Alex is keeping a blog! Please drop by and say hello! His blog address is:
http://alexhasamom.blogspot.com/

Swimming & Rambling....

I calendared swimming every Friday afternoon and I think we made it 3 or was it 4 times out of the whole summer? It didn't help that my sister broke her leg and Amy's daughter broke her arm. The pool's not fun without company-at least for me. So Friday we went one last time. And I think this was the first time I brought my camera this season?

Here's Ry with a friend from school that just happened to be at the pool.

 Here's the broken bone group. 

Rachel with a broken arm and Kammy with her broken leg.

Amy's not broken. 

Devree was on Sydni patrol....

And here's Alex....

with his cousins/built in buddies Brach & Tyler.

I was examining my end of summer tan. Or lack of it. Good thing that the pale vampire look is in right? Now if only gray roots would become stylish.

I spent the day washing down the new tile floor and surround in the kids bath room and cleaning out drawers and closets. ( I LOVE cleaning out stuff!) The standard was "if you won't wear it to school we're not keeping it!" amazing how many things my kids want to keep but won't wear. Crazy. 

I also tried to start dividing the goods. Kambree and Devree share a lot of clothes. Or borrow each others clothes and never return them or I put the wrong jeans in the wrong clean laundry pile and BAM! Now that girl thinks those jeans are hers. So much fun. So with Kambree leaving for school next week it was time to face the music and start dividing and conquering. 

After purging through everyone but James and Kambree's stuff-they will have their day too-they just weren't home today-I dumped everything on the front grass, advertised it on KSL in their FREE section and I went from 6 or 7 garbage bags full of clothe, bags, purses and sheets to haul to the DI to two! 

Sweet!

Note to self: DO NOT BUY things just because they are on sale. Even if they're a dollar. No one will wear them and in time you will run out of hangers, clean out the closets and give them away. Just say no to sale items unless you or someone in the family LOVE it! It's not worth it!

And when you buy new sheets-get rid of the old. Gee wiz. Like you need six sets of sheets hanging around in the linen closet? 

(I did save all the flat white sheets as toga parties seem to be popular at the high school recently and you never know when you need a white sheet to show a movie on or make a ghost costume.)

I also got an offer in on one of my new listings today.

Hallelujah! 

(Insert sounds of angels trumpeting.)

So over all a very productive Saturday.

Tomorrow, Alex passes the sacrament for the first time and Austin is giving a talk on obedience. It's going to be an interesting sacrament meeting...

Sixteen months ago today!

I came across this video while looking through pictures to post on the Mecham's blog a couple of weeks ago. I don't think I ever put it on my blog. This is the day after our ten day wait when I was taking Alex out of the orphanage forever. We were throwing a birthday party for his friend Julia and then leaving. I had forgotten how excited he was to go "da doma"(home)! Just thought I'd share this clip of my cute boy!

Glimpses, Confessions & Life Lessons

So, Alex has roughly two more weeks of studies before he gets his money for studying all summer. He's down to eighty-five dollars. Not bad. That means he only missed studying three times all summer. 

Yesterday we were working on math. Making change actually. He missed almost every problem. He answered that if you bought something for $6.42 and paid with $10.00 you would get back $4. Once again we went over subtracting from zero and carrying the number. He came back with much better answers but still with mistakes. One problem was so easy $100-$80= and he said $9. What? Then he changed to $10. I kept asking him to think about it. He kept insisting it was $10. So I asked him to add $80+$10 and he insisted that was $100!! I finally had to show him it was $20. 

Now, disclaimer here. I am NOT a teacher! Despite Alex's plea to home school him because "You teach me most English", teaching is not my forte. I do NOT have patience and after studying for almost two hours...I was done!!!

"Seriously Alex! Ten dollars? I am worried about you!" And I lit into him about how he should be able to figure this out in his head. This is simple math. I know. Not positive. Not encouraging and as I'm berating him it dawns on me that he just completed an entire worksheet with similar but much more difficult math and done it perfectly.
Ah-ha!
The light dawns.
I don't think the problem is the math!
It's his pride!
He was sticking to that $10 answer like a pit bull dog on a T-bone. So I started in on him about pride and being open minded enough to be teachable-that he cannot learn with this stubborn pride. His eyes are starting to water at this point and he won't look at me. I hate it when he won't look at me. But I've learned when this happens that angry won't get me anywhere. When he won't look at me...he's leaving. Emotionally.
I pulled him into my arms took a deep breath and dug deep. "Alex, where are you?"  "Here." he said. (Sometimes he's back there. Very far from here. He's in his past.)  "Then look at me." and he did.
He didn't look away and as I looked in his tear filled eyes I had a glimpse. A split second glimpse. A glimpse of how his life is. The feeling of ALWAYS being wrong. Corrected. Laughed at. Made fun of. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. And for just a second I felt how he must feel every day. All day. Day in and day out.
I softly explained that no one likes to be wrong. And that I know he is wrong...a lot. I know it hurts. I know that people are always correcting his English, making fun of how he talks, laughing at his sentence structure etc. Tears just streamed down his face.  His hurt so evident. I held him and rubbed his back and kissed his forehead and told him I know. I understand. It hurts.
As I held him we talked about how he has had to do so much more than learn English. How he has had to learn how to live in a family, be not only a son but a brother, take care of things, do chores-and do them well-take baths, match his clothes, empty his pockets, learn manners, go to church, and the list went on. Then I looked deep into his eyes and told him how amazing he is doing and how sorry I am that I don't tell him enough how amazing he is! He just sobbed and nuzzled into my arms and let me hold him like a baby.
Once he gained some composure, we laughed about some of the things he's had to learn and we talked about how we find his silly sentence structures cute, endearing and funny. We're not making fun of him-unlike some of the boys at scout camp who really did make fun of him-we're just enjoying him and find him funny. I told him wouldn't it be funny if someone was learning Ukrainian and instead of saying "I love my Babushka (grandma),  she is my favorite person." They said "I love my Bambuska (roll)...." He laughed with me.
I don't think he takes too much offense when we-his family-laugh because he laughs with us for the most part. I think it's hard when his peers laugh or make fun. He's not sure if they're laughing with him or at him. And kids can be very cruel. Alex never brings up these offenses. He just keeps it to himself. (Which is ironic as he tattles on his siblings day in and out but never when it comes to them or someone hurting him.)  I actually found out about scout camp via a mom who's son told her that some of the other scouts kept making fun of Alex during camp. When I brought it up with Alex days after he just shrugged and said "Yes. They make fun of me."

Then I confessed that I don't tell him how great he is very often because when I do he acts as if he's mastered the English language and doesn't need to work on it anymore or he is now a professional or master of whatever I complimented him on.
We talked about when we're studying he needs to forget his pride and just let me or his teacher teach. He needs to open his mind and be teachable. To not rush and stubbornly refuse to consider other options.
Then I told him I would try harder to tell him how awesome and amazing he is if he would keep trying to learn and grow and not think he's "all that" when I do.

It's true. I rarely praise or compliment him. And you know he's not getting that from his siblings or peers either. I didn't really realize it until this little glimpse I had. He tries so hard and although he doesn't always do his best-he keeps trying and I'm always asking for more. I feel such a rush to get him caught up. He's so very far behind scholastically, socially, and I worry. I worry about him all the time. So when he does something well, I give him a quick "good job" and then push for more. Besides, when I have praised him in the past he gets so cocky-and he's already cocky by nature-so I've just stopped praising. In my defense I do say thank you or good job...a lot!  But that's not praise. That's not, "Wow! You are amazing!", "You are awesome!", "I can't believe how smart you are!"  And he needs that.
He needs it like a three year old needs it because sometimes he IS that three year old. When he was three he was getting beat and forced to shoplift. He was unfed and uncared for. But unlike a three year old who can prance around proclaiming how great he is after being praised-it's not so endearing coming from a twelve year old. In fact it's irritating. So in order to not be irritated and annoyed by his gangster-hip-hop-cocky attitude when complimented. I just stopped doing it. And I didn't even realize. 
So, our next life lesson for Alex?
Accepting a compliment or praise without letting it go to his head!
For me?
Dishing out those compliments and praise with two hands!

(Sigh)

So much to learn. 

For both of us.

Pay Days

Look at this sweet picture......

That's my four children walking into the temple. 

I wish I had brought my real camera-these are all taken on my cell phone. Had I been able to actually see the results-besides the microscopic thumbnail on my camera that looked perfectly fine-I would have taken another but this is all I have.

(Sorry Austin and Dev....not the best picture of you two!)

It was one of those "pay days" as a parent to take them all to the temple to do baptisms. Alex was a little nervous but Austin was with him and showed him what to do. Later in his journal he wrote about how he likes going to the temple and what he did and why. It was a 2nd "pay day" to know that he understands what is going on and that he feels the spirit. 

A bunch of Ukraine names had been sent to Utah to get baptisms done in preparation for the Kiev temple opening. Unfortunately they needed to be done last week and Alex was at scout camp and not yet ordained a deacon so even if he had been home, he wasn't ready.

Our youth's baptism assignment just happened to follow three days after he was ordained and lucky me my BFF, Amy is the young women's president so I offered to help drive. Afterwards Alex told us he "got wet five times!" 

We went home and picked up Rylee who spent the morning with Amy's girls and took everyone to lunch at Rubio's and ate outside on the patio. 

Of course Austin had to be Austin and asked that we take this picture......

(Yes, he's STANDING on the Keep Off sign!)

In his defense....he had spent the morning in Sunday clothes at the temple and you can only be reverent and respectful for so many hours in the middle of the week when you're sixteen and your name is Austin!

And I just couldn't stand that dark red background and have removed all my backgrounds. What you're seeing just shows up on it's own. Any ideas how I get this off? Thanks bloggy friends. 

It's the most wonderful time of the year....

Do you remember the commercial where the dad is pushing a shopping cart gleefully through an office supply store? Kicking up his heels while "The most wonderful time of the year" plays in the background? Pan to shot of his kids with sad, sad faces, watching as he fills the cart with back to school supplies?

It's a GREAT commercial and it's exactly how I feel!

Every year.

Back to school. That's right baby.....the most wonderful time of the year!

Don't get me wrong. It's not because I don't love my children. 

I do. 

But, they NEED to go to school!!

I have decided to stop feeling guilty-you read those blogs or hear about mom's who are sad their kids are returning to school, who feel so empty the first day of school, wondering "where did the summer go?", dreading the carpools, the homework, the structure.  Oh, yes. Those are the mom's that for years pushed me into suppressing my true feelings.  I use to feel so guilty for my feelings of glee when I see the words "back to school sale". I use to try and suppress my joy when notebooks, colored pencils and glues sticks are stocked at the front of the store at ridiculously low prices. I use to try and look sympathetic to the groans and dismay of my children as the two weeks before school were counted down. BUT after years of closeting my happiness and euphoria about the kids returning to scholastic study....NO MORE! 

It's time to come clean!!

I love this time of year!!! 

I love back to school!!!

I love structure and order and bedtimes and homework time! 

I LOVE IT!

I am not a bad mom for wanting more than endless hours of Wii, Webkins, I-tunes downloading, Facebooking and "hanging out" doing nothing with friends for my children.
I am not selfish to want a period of time where the fridge stays shut for more than 15 minutes straight, where silence reigns supreme through the day and no one is beat boxing, pounding on the piano, dancing, wrestling, singing, pillow fighting, "inventing" things out of wood with power tools, riding their roller blades on the wood floor and or shrieking through the house being chased or trying to get someone to chase them.
I am not evil for wanting my kids up and dressed and out the door before noon-going somewhere where trained professionals help them learn and use their minds and creativity.
I am not ridiculous for wanting to stop hearing "What are we doing for FUN today?", "No one is home, there is no one to play with.", "I'm bored.", "Let's go to the mall!", "I have nothing to do.", "How come we don't go to Hawaii?" (Or  Disneyland or Lagoon or anywhere cool and fun their friends families are going) and "It's summer-I don't need to get up!".
I am not the devil herself for wanting structure, bedtimes, scripture time, dinner times, and a sense of knowing everyone is at their designated school and not running a child here, another there, trying to find a friend for this child, hoping another is driving safe and another remembers to get to work.

Mothers unite!!

It's time to shrug off the guilt!

School is great!

Teachers are saints!

Silence is golden!
Despite what my children think about this subject and my love for this time of year, I do love my children! I think the fact that I love for them to go back to school is only proof I love them even more! I love for them to be engaged in learning and growing. I love for them to come home and smash their cheek against mine and tell me about there day. I love to hear about who is going out with who and what so and so said to so an so. I love to see and smell my teenagers all groomed and smelling good rushing out the door at 7:25 am. I love to see my elementary kids run up the front steps after school and throw open the door exclaiming "I'm home! Where are you mom?" I love the break we get from each other and the chance to miss them a little each day.

And although I really hate this blog background I'm going to keep it until school starts! Just to get the "feel" for this "wonderful time of the year"!!

Who's car is that?

James and I had just dosed off to sleep last night when about 11:15 someone's car alarm went off. But not a normal car alarm-more like a horn stuck down just blaring non stop. We have a corner lot and our bedroom is on the street side and this car was right on the street. After a few minutes I got up to see if anyone was investigating this horrific noise and low and behold it was AUSTIN'S car! 

What the heck????
We do not have a car alarm in this car. It's an old GEO Metro for heaven's sake. James was taking forever to pull some pants on so I went prancing out in my nightgown and met Austin on the way. Yep, it was his car and the doors were locked. (He never locks his doors.) So back to the house he went for keys and I went inside as I was wearing a short nightgown and really didn't want to run into any of my neighbors whom I was SURE were awake by now.

Some lovely prankster had used two sticks to push down the horn and then locked the doors. Probably a friend of Austin's was down the street having a good laugh. Yes, I said friend. That's how boys are. Girls would only do this to enemy's but not boys. Boys LOVE to pull pranks on each other. In fact I think they view it as a show of friendship? Remember the shrink wrapped car? That was a friend.

James was coming out while we were returning for the key with his GUN hidden in his shorts. Good grief. No wonder it took him so long to get dressed. Like what was he going to do with his gun? Shoot the car and put it out of it's misery? 

So....just in case any of you were thinking about tp-ing our house, or shrink wrapping our cars let this be a warning to you. James grew up in the sticks. Toting a gun is not a crazy thing where he comes from-his father slept with a pistol under his pillow and he always "carried" when he came to the "big city". I have tried to be the rational, calm, let's think this through partner with this "good o'boy" husband of mine. But, he's at that age where I have no control. Just a word of warning,  crazy, old-man Richhart has surfaced despite my best intentions. Please stay away!! 

That goes for gophers, mice and any other rodents.
Unlike people he WILL shoot you. And I have a nice white vinyl fence that doesn't take kindly to bb's, pellets and I'm sure not bullets so just stay out of our yard furry rodents.
Oh, and don't come inside either or you may be caught in a paper cup by our good friend Ryan-with panther like reflexes- while James is running for the pellet gun. 

No, he didn't actually shot the little mouse.
Alex wanted to keep him as a pet...uhh...no way!
I suggested they just go let him go in the field but I'm pretty sure he met his maker due to the squishing he got in the cup. I don't know. All I know is mice DO NOT BELONG IN MY HOUSE. Even if they walk in through the doggie door.

Work, Goofing Off & Fundraisers.....

WORK

Dev & Rylee helping with cement....

Here's how the kids bathroom looked yesterday around two pm....

Then these three guys hit it-hard!

And then the girls-including yours truly-helped out and now it looks like this:

Nice huh? The tile guy is coming this week and lucky us-we'll be waiting for James to get home to put it back together. Meanwhile the three youngest will be sharing a bathroom with....me!

MISC

When I was in Ukraine I brought home napkin holders. They're a little on the fragile side and a couple broke in my suitcase. (I carefully glued them back together as I only had seven-the exact number in our family!)

Rylee sat the table today and used the napkin holders-I'm not sure we've ever used them before. The table looked so nice.

However, Austin found a better use for them after dinner!

I told him he looks like some kind of underwater, frog man!

Alex was ordained a deacon this afternoon. He's so excited to pass the sacrament next week. He told me scout camp was fun but hasn't shared too many details except a funny saying they said about hairy legs and that he liked the craft classes. He says he earned five merit badges. 

Kambree is having to raise money for Badgeretts. They're attempting to raise money to go to a national college dance competition. 

"Any donation is appreciated. As our gift, if you donate at least $20, we'll give you a Champions Card. With it you can save up to 50% at over 100,000 locations." 

www.championscards.com

If interested, please call or text Kambree and she'll bring you a card or you can make a comment and I'll get her in touch with you. Apparently you can use these discount cards all over the country? (Yes, I've already bought one!)

She HAS to sell 15 (she has 14 left) or bring an additional $300 to school.

Yikes.

Fundraisers should not have the word FUN in them.

Devree is heading to her "retreat" this week for student body officers. 

Rylee is crazy about "Webkins" and attended her first online Webkins birthday party that her friend hosted for her little stuffed animal thingy. If you understand what I'm talking about-I'm sorry. If you don't, consider yourself blessed. She has two more parties this week. She actually bought her little stuffed animal thing a party-with her Webbucks-$1,000 of them to be exact and forgot to log on at the designated time and date. Upon discovering it, we had tears and drama for almost an hour! 

Oh my. 

I'm going to write one whole post one day on the things our mothers NEVER had to deal with when raising children that we deal with today.  Cell phones, I-tunes, Ipods, texting, and Webkins are going to be at the top of the list!

School starts two weeks from tomorrow. Not that I'm counting down the days or anything.....

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