Introducing.....THE RICHHARTS!

Today is Halloween and keeping with the spirit of the holiday, I was cruel and wicked and made my family pose for family pictures! (This is just one my sweet cousin, Kim-the photographer- snapped with my digital camera!) You may notice a 5th child in our family picture this year (would you know he wasn't ours if you didn't know us?) Yep, it's true...we're adopting him!
We spoke with the adoption coordinator today and it's a long, scary process with lots of hoops and lots of jumping and it looks like it will take four to eight months and that's if everything goes smoothly. (Yikes!)
Lex, is so sad about leaving. Each morning he gets up and tells me how many more days until he gets on the plane (through pantomiming of course) and then makes a crying face. 
When the adoption coordinator was here his eye's filled with tears when it was explained that he has to go back to the orphanage and that we have to complete a lot of paper work and it will take months to come get him. I turned his face to me and held his chin and told him I needed him to be brave and take care of himself and that we would hurry as fast as we can to come get him and that I love him. He gave me a hug and then asked if he could go upstairs, as I think he didn't want us to see him cry.
We went to Gardner Village for our portrait sitting (which was a huge mistake as there were a million people in Halloween costumes there) but I think Kim got some good one's.

All my children!

 

 How they really felt about this photo shoot.....

 

 Love this face....

 The boys looking ever so thrilled.....

 And of course trick or treating later that night.....

Life is a Zoo.....

Yep, we're still here. Its been awhile since I've blogged. Mostly because things are so unclear in my mind as to where things are going with this. I was warned that this wouldn't be all bubbles and lollipops, I just thought it would be well....easier!
So, let me back track:
Problem #1 My necklace. I can't find it. Funny thing is I remember it sitting in plain sight on my dressing table, and I remember thinking "You should put that away." and I didn't. Now, I'm sure it's not worth thousands of dollars, perhaps not even worth hundreds of dollars but it has some sentimental value as my husband bought if for me and jewelry for James is far and few between. It's just a very delicate silver chain with a tiny diamond and two garnets (my birthstone). I've looked everywhere for it, I've asked everyone if they've seen it and I'm pretty sure (this will sound bad) that Lex has it. I mean if he wants to sell his shoes, how easy would it be to take this little necklace back and sell it? Part of me is, "It's okay, he needs it more than I do." but part of me is "How can he steal from me?" (I even went through his back pack and room when he was out riding his bike but I couldn't find it.) I typed to him if he's seen it and can he please help me find it? He just raises his shoulders like I don't know. I just feel sick inside about it - again not because it's of that much value - just how could he? I keep telling myself, I could have lost it wearing it, I'm sure I'll find it. But I have looked and looked and I'm a good looker! I'm telling myself if I could just find it, I would feel so much better. I'm just in such a quandary.
Problem #2 James. He's not getting warm fuzzies about this entire situation. It doesn't help that he had a rough week at work and that he came home to a broken valve on the gas fireplace, the least helpful parts department at the fireplace store, siding to put up on the addition, road blocks to manufacturing his invention, and that Lex can't understand him (no matter how slowly he talks) and just walks off when he's trying to talk to him. Then add to the mix that in Lex's attempt to communicate, he pouts and whines and comes across very obstinate, It's apparent that Lex has no idea how to deal with a father figure. I mean, he's been raised in an orphanage by women, he has no idea what a Dad is for or what to do with one. But James is the Pied Piper of children, they love him, he attracts them like flies. So for this little guy to not warm up or even acknowledge him is really a problem. Can you blame the guy? Then add to the fact that since the kids have been in school James and I have blissful days when he's home all to ourselves and we love every minute of it (we go to lunch, watch matinees, etc) and now, this little guy is demanding my time, attention and affection and James is feeling, well.....put out!
Not the spiritual, this is so right, warm and tingly experience I had hoped for or at the least, expected.
So, Wednesday, I'm having a little heart to heart with my Maker and telling him, I don't need a sign or anything, I just need that warm peaceful feeling that this is right (like I had on Friday after the director left) and I can't do this without James so could you please help him out too? (I'm having this discussion in my car, in line at the bank to make a deposit, not the best place but I'm alone and that is a rare thing these days!)
The next day I'm drying my hair with my head upside down and I spot something on the floor under my dressing table....guess what it is....yep, my necklace. It's upside down so I can't see the red garnets and I honestly thought it was a dust bunny or something. Keep in mind I've pulled out my dressing table at least twice looking behind it and through every drawer, and there it was...just sitting there. I of course break into tears....is this my sign?
It's Tuesday, and we're off to the Zoo. James stayed home to get things done and he's not feeling any differently so it's just easier to not include him or expect too much. We head out. I am so torn and feel myself pushing Lex away from my heart. I cannot do this without James and I cannot give this boy hope for a new life if I'm not following through and I'm just feeling sick to my stomach. I don't blame James, I don't blame Lex. I don't have anyone one to blame.

Lex runs from animal to animal and then he wants to go home. It's 11:00 we got there at 10:15 and he wants to go home already? I explain we're not eating until 12:30 and then we'll ride the train. (He's been bugging me about the train the whole time.) We try to hang out with Jen and her girls but he's so disinterested. At one point I try to talk to him about James but he doesn't understand. We're sitting outside the giraffe house (It's too smelly for Lex-he won't go in) just him and I and he understands I'm talking about "Papa" and he starts rattling off with "Papa-James, Mama-Wendy, Kambree, Austin, Devree, Rylee and Alexy"with a big smile and he makes a big circle motion. Like this is our family. I'm part of this big circle?  Right? Oh, he's killing me.
Finally, I give up and take him to the lunch meeting place at noon and let him eat. (We did stop and spend his three dollars he had earned that was burning a hole in his pocket on crappy zoo souvenirs.)
It's nice to talk with the other host mom's and see how their children act. It's apparent that other orphans are having issues with Dad's too and that we're not alone in this. In fact I'm pretty proud of Lex, he's given me less problems then some and he seems so much closer to me than other moms and their children. However, there are a lot of teenagers and I'm sure they're not huggy and lovey like my ten year old love bug.
Of course when you're at these activity's you're asked how things are going, how you're feeling? I can't help but be honest. I'm feeling okay, but James isn't. What else can I say?
At home that night we have dinner and Lex takes a bath (actually a shower) all on his own. He comes down with his wet head and face glowing from his hot shower. We do Ry's homework and I make a copy of her cursive writing paper and Lex does it flawlessly. Then I quiz her on her 2 times tables and Lex gets so excited when he knows the answer he can't help but blurt it out and this of course upsets Rylee who was already crying because she missed two spelling words and had cursive issues. So it's just another feel good homework session at the Richharts.
Then Lex burps, then Austin then they have a burping war and begin running around laughing and being silly. James smiles at this. Then it's time for bed and I coach Austin to go give James a hug goodnight and Lex follows suit. Its a manly hug with some back pounding, but it's a start.
Today, I arranged for Lex to go to Jen's and to out to lunch with James. I make a vow to myself that I won't bring up Lex but since it's been my life for the past eleven day's, its hard not to talk about anything else. So after small talk James says let's talk about Alexy.....
There's a reason I married James. Because he's a good guy and he's amazing. We talked about his bad week, his problems with Lex, our future with Lex and although we're not out of the woods. I think things are going to be okay. Tonight he's going to have a computer talk with Lex. The first one ever. Poor Lex. He's going to hate the computer.....

Monday Night @ Visitors Center
(We watched the Testament but Lex lost interest with his Russian headset after about 15 minutes. So did the majority of the orphans. Well, at least we tried!)

Lex listening to my ring tones to entertain himself at the Zoo!

Kambree and Lex munching on Corn Dogs! (Take note of the ketchup on his plate and dog, we've already gone through one Costco size container of ketchup!)

Bath, Bed & Belief

We had a trauma Saturday night. It involved a bath, a boy and a test of wills.
Apparently Lex has been taking his baths by wetting his hair, patting some shampoo on his head and washing his hands. Hum...very clever.
Rylee caught him taking this so called bath and reported to me. So I typed out that he needs a real bath and marched him upstairs.He begins to pout. I start the water, strip his clothes off down to his underwear and I motion to him that he can wash himself or I will wash him. He just stands there pouting so I leave to get a washcloth so he can have some semblance of privacy and when I leave, he locks the door!
I can hear that he's in the tub and I ask if he's bathing and I hear silence. I pick the lock and throw in the washcloth. (I really don't want to freak him out with him being a 10 year old boy - when I believe I stopped being welcome in Austin's baths as well.) I go in and he is submerged in the tub with his underwear on! Good gravy!! Well, that is just fine. I get the hand held shower nozzle down and wet his hair and he begins to cry, no not just cry but that lovely wailing sound he made Friday night when I wouldn't let him stay up all night and watch videos.) However, I really don't care that he's crying. He can cry 'till the cow's come home, but he'll be crying and CLEAN! I scrub his hair and rinse it then get a scrubby bubbly with soap and wash his arms, back, legs, and when I get to the feet he begins laughing. Crying again until I get to the other foot, then laughing. Then I motion to his privates, shut the curtain and asked for his underwear, I hold out my hand behind the curtain, he gives me the scrubby, then the washcloth, finally I show him the dry underwear and he hands me the wet one's. I then give him a minute to wash and once I see that he is spraying the curtain with the hand held shower head, I turn off the water hand him a towel and he gets out all smiles and sweetness! Score 1 for the Mom! I'm only behind about 20!
Sunday was pretty uneventful. We went to church and he did okay. He sat through sacrament and would not go to primary so he sat with me in Sunday School. We left early to run over to a little Ukrainian Sunday School lesson at another ward house and he once again did not want to sit with the other orphans. He sat between James and I and about half way through started up with his "da-doma" pleading and then when the service was over he pulled me out to the car just as fast as he could go.
We went home and prepared our fruit plate to take to Jen's house. There were a ton of people there. I'm wondering just what they coach these orphans to say or act like back in the orphanage? We're eating and Lex is making faces at the food that we're eating and giving it a thumbs down or an it's sorta okay - take it or leave it - hand shake then pointing to me and saying "Mama" and giving me a thumbs up. Sort of like a you're a great cook tribute? It cracked me up because it seemed so rehearsed. He's really not all the crazy about my cooking either.
Anyway, after a quick spin on Jen's boys bike, food and watching Nastia open her presents. (Which she seemed baffled by the whole thing and at one point when I was looking for Lex to make sure he wasn't reprogramming some electrical device in Jen's house, I found her all alone in her room drawing with paper stuffed in her ears. Like the party was just too noisy for her.)
Lex was pleading to "da-doma" once again, which we did.
Once home it was time for bed and Lex didn't want to go. I pointed to the clock and said "No computer, TV or headphones after 8:00.  Lights out at 9:00. ]" It as about 8:50. He looked put out for just a minute then pantomimed book and rubbed his finger down his nose (indicating a face tickle) of course I said yes.  It's been our ritual to read a book then I sing him a song while I tickle his face with one finger, running it over his eyes, checks, down his nose....
We read the book with Ry, say prayers (which he has not said by himself yet, we offer him the opportunity and he just shakes his head) and then I start humming and tickling his face and he puts his hands on either side of my mouth and moves them, motioning for me to sing, not hum. How funny, I guess he doesn't mind my singing, I sing one song and he opens his eyes and asks for one more with is #1 finger. Okay. Then I kiss him goodnight and he's down for the night.
(Amazing, it's only 9:33-score another one for the Mom!)
He is sleeping better and not getting up so early.
Thank goodness.
I wish I had more fuzzy feel good moments rather than "What the heck am I thinking?" moments but I don't. This is hard. It's hard to think how much this is disrupting our lives. How is this going to work? How much patience I need to have and how he has no idea what kind of sacrifice it's going to be to get him back over here. This is like the morning sickness part of pregnancy when you think "What was I thinking? Why am I doing this? I feel so crappy!" and there's no turning back. I know the witness that I had, I know this is what I need to do and I know that my feelings of despair and panic is just the adversary hoping I give up. But I feel like this child thinks living here is going to be his golden ticket and it's not!
So here's what I've devised. I think it's only fair that he knows what he's getting when he comes back here. It's not all fun and games at our house. You don't cry, grunt, pout or stomp to get what you want. It's only fair to him to let him know what he's in for. So, this morning after he went to play at Masha's house and I went to gym for a long over due cardio on the treadmill, I sat him down and explained that he has been here for one full week and this week we're going to treat him like our own son and expect him to do a chore each day, study English and explain a few more family rules. He's okay with all I'm saying.AND that if he studies English for thirty minutes and does he's chore each day I will pay him a dollar each day he does it. (Like allowance but I'm not sure if that word translates or if he'll even understand?) He is all over the idea of earning a dollar.
So, should we do English now or later? Now, we start with me typing in words like shirt, pants, shoes and pointing to them and then saying the word in English which he repeats. Then he tells me "No school." I explain he does not have to go to school right now but when he comes here to live forever he will have to go to school. He shakes his head, "No school." Yes, in our family we go to school. He shakes his head. After repeatedly going over this and then finally resorting to "Would you rather live in the orphanage or come here and go to school?" I'm getting a very sad, crying boy that seems he'd rather stay in the Ukraine than go to school here. I am baffled, I must have translated something wrong. Perhaps it came across that I will be sending him to boarding school here or something? He's just so sad. Not the wailing, fake sad like the bath, a true - eyes full of tears -spilling down the checks - trying not to cry - sad. I decide it's time for a translator and I get Jordan (the guy who's been teaching Sunday school) on the phone. He talks with Lex at length and determines that it's not that he doesn't want to go to school here,  he just knows he will never learn English so he will never BE ABLE to go to school here. I have Jordan translate about how I know he can, I believe in him, he can just learn a little at a time, we will all help him, he's a smart boy and he can do this etc. and I get head shakes. He just knows he can't do it. I thank Jordan and we go back to our shirt, pants, shoes lesson which he is all bleary eyed sad about and then I say let's take a break and I'll make lunch.
He runs upstairs and shuts the door and I can hear him crying...again. I make lunch and ponder. I bet this child has absolutely no self esteem about his ability to learn. He's in a special speech class at the orphanage and I bet - just like children in the United States that go to special ed classes - he is made fun of because of his difficulty with the letter S  and his special class status. He has no faith in his ability to learn. He knows he has to go to school here but cannot fathom the idea of ever learning English so he has no hope? He knows I expect him to go to school so he has no other choice but to stay in the Ukraine?
Good gravy! Now what should I do? How do you teach a child to believe in himself? He is so very smart. He is curious, independent and knows how to work my digital camera better than I do. He has communicated so much without saying many words. He's only ten years old. I know he can learn English. I think I'll have Alex (the 12 year old boy that came over the 1st Sunday) come over and talk to him about how he learned English. That's all I can think. It doesn't seem to matter how much I offer to help or how much I believe in him, he has to find it within himself.
Well, Masha and Nastia are here. I put on Mr. Bean (as he doesn't speak too much just uses physical comedy) and I can hear that they're losing interest so I better run and play some more charades....

My Boy The Bunny....

Our euphoric night lasted until midnight. Lex was wired after Naydia and Oksana left jumping around and hugging me every so often.  At one point he had communicated via charades that he didn't want to go to sleep. I said "Sure, you don't have to go to sleep right now." Thinking he meant RIGHT NOW, not ALL NIGHT. Nope, he was under the impression he was going to stay up ALL NIGHT and watch ALL of our DVD's and video's.
But I didn't know this until later.
He and the girls started their movie and he would run in and report Devree was asleep, then Rylee by pantomiming and making snoring sounds. (He had also tattled on Rylee earlier by pantomiming to me that he had brushed his teeth but "Lala" had not!)
At ten o'clock I finished blogging and told him I'd come watch Cars with him. He snuggled next to me and would rub my check, and touch my hair and sigh "Mama". He was so wiggly and cuddly at the same time. He did watch the show and would laugh at parts but mostly he just snuggled and snuggled and sighed.
I figured we'd stay up until Austin and Kambree got home. Kam came home and laid in Lex's spot. (He was up doing something) when he came back he just laid on top of her and they had a tickle fight and then he and Austin had a little pillow fight but both Kam and Aug were tired and said goodnight. I kept yawning and Lex pantomimed sleeping and then would say, "Mama" and pointed upstairs. Like "It's okay, you can go to bed." By now it's midnight and I asked him what he was going to do and he said no sleeping and pointed to all the DVD's and video's. Are you kidding?
Great, I'm already having to teach him a difficult lesson, children do not stay up all night. I told him "Nett", and I turned off the TV and he sulked and stomped up to bed. I sat down to talk with him but he began crying, not just crying.... wailing! I started laughing as it was pretty comical. I got the trusty lap top and took it up to his room and explained that we had big day's tomorrow and we both needed sleep. Nope, still wailing. (He is stopping his crying to read and then continuing when he's done.) I explain that we don't spank in our house but we do take away privileges and if he doesn't stop crying and waking everyone up he won't be able to ride his bike in the morning. He stops crying but he's still upset. I am trying to be stern here, remembering Naydia's advice "He knows nothing about living in a family, you will have to teach him how to live in a family."
He asks if he can play on the computer. I figure, sure. It only has a 1/2 hour life without the cord, he can settle down and at least he's stopped crying and he'll be quiet and in his bed. Good gravy, am I a dumb mother or what? He went down, found the cord, and watched movies until four in the morning! I know because I slept on an off until the warm glow of the computer screen no longer shimmered out of his bedroom door.
Today was my ward's Super Saturday and I'm in charge and it's a big job. I had to be to the church at 8:00 with my breakfast casserole and I rolled out of bed at 7:30, threw on some clothes and makeup, grabbed my stuff and headed out. Lex was snoring away in his room. (I so wanted to wake him up!) The day was spent talking to my ward family about Lex. Many are following my blog and so sweet and supportive and many others are concerned and curious. I felt like I repeated myself a lot and talked about him all day. In fact, I feel consumed with this experience and my apologies to my friends and family for my non-stop talking about Lex.
I got home around three and James and Lex had gone to the hobby store to buy gas for the gas powered remote controlled car. Hurray! A minute to myself. I laid down and had about a 1/2 hour nap before the phone rang. Jen invited us to dinner for Nastia's birthday tomorrow. She mentioned how Lex calling us "Mama" and "Papa" had clued Masha and Nastia in. We talked for awhile about our different yet similar experiences. It would be so great if they get their paper work lined up the same time we do and we could all go together to the Ukraine. Her girls are darling and I think her Masha has a little crush on my Lex, but he's all boy about it and acts indifferent to the situation.
While I had my Super Saturday activity James and all the kids went to a breakfast hosted by a family in our area. During the breakfast and games the Moran Eye Center volunteered to check all the orphan's eyes. Lex has a slight astigmatism but does not need glasses. They dilated his eyes but he refused to wear sunglasses and kept covering his eyes and squinting. (How great are these folks that give eye exams and dental exams for free?)
Pictures from the breakfast:

While on my phone call with Jen, Lex found me. "Mama", and a big kiss and hug (where he tried to lift me off the floor....silly child) and then an animated hand sign of driving the gas powered car. I'm happy to say he had on different clothes but now I need to do laundry tonight as everything we have for him is dirty and we have church tomorrow.
Later we went to the store together to buy (you guessed it) fruit! You can't have a Ukrainian gathering with out fruit!
While shopping Lex made a few phone calls to Papa (James) & Babooska (my mom). This is how they go:
"Hello, Hello (pause) Alexey (big smile)"  and them some ramblings in Ukrainian and then something about mama and he hands me the phone. He just loves gadgets. He found how to dial these numbers by going to my contacts and finding their pictures. What a smart boy. He also tightened up his bike with an Allen wrench today. James was pretty impressed by that.
He loves to pick out things at the store and although I tell him "nett" about 20 times per trip we did come home with frozen corn dogs which he opened and licked while in their frozen state. I tried not to laugh at his puzzled face but I couldn't help it. I showed him the microwave (which I may live to regret) and we warmed it up, he then covered it with ketchup (his favorite side dish-and I'm not exaggerating, he eats packets of ketchup by themselves at McDonald's) and enjoyed it thoroughly.
We had stopped at Papa Murphy's for pizza and he gave it the thumbs up at dinner and burped very loudly after drinking his root beer.
He's now standing by me cracking nuts and eating them. Yet another thing he selected at the store. He's sharing with me but I don't like nuts so he brought me some grapes. I really need to explain he doesn't need to worry about me not eating enough.
We learned last night that they get one fruit a day and one egg a day and so many ounces of milk and meat. and they eat four times a day. It's all very regulated. They also get a fifty cents a month to spend as the wish. Fifty cents! No wonder he eats non stop and wants to go to the "ma-ha-zing"and buy things every day.
I'm tired, need sleep and he is like the Energizer bunny, he just keeps going and going.....

Dentist, Director & Dinner

I have to blog this info while it's fresh in my mind. 

We just had Naydia (the director of Lex's orphanage-the lady with the gold teeth) and Osknana (the interpreter) over for dinner. I was so nervous. I had asked what they'd like for dinner?  And I got "soup". So, I made chicken noodle soup, rolls, fruit and cake. I had taken Lex with me to get groceries and he wanted to buy them chocolate bars too. Everyone helped even Lex could sense the stress I was feeling and he helped with emptying the dishwasher, setting the table, and fixing the fruit platter.

James picked them up from a home in our neighborhood where my new found friend Jen has been hosting them, along with two orphans of her own since Saturday night. (Bless her heart! I feel so fortunate to not be hosting any adults-I can't imagine trying to bond with a child and figure out your feelings and his needs - and on top of that being a tour guide/chauffeur/cook/shopping companion. And having someone your hosting child can run to that speaks their language, instead of you. Good grief!)

Anyway, James brought them over and they were just wonderful. The director does not speak English but she was a wealth of information. Lex is registered as an orphan, meaning his parents have no rights and he is free to be adopted. She says he came to their orphanage from a younger orphanage. She thinks he's been in the orphanage since he was 3 or 4. She knows nothing of an older brother and she gave us a lot of insight as to what Lex's life is like in the orphanage.

The orphanage has 520 children in it. It's the largest orphanage in the Ukraine. Last year 3 orphans were adopted. Out of the 520 children 120 are actual orphans the others are children that parents have not lost their rights to or are trying to get their act together to get them back.(Later we found out it is an school for delayed language children - many have parents and just board there during the week and go home on weekends, holidays and summer break.) We've heard stories that some parents just cannot afford raising their children and just check them into an orphanage where they are guaranteed food and shelter and that many parents have problems with alcohol. I'm saying parents but most are single mothers. Even the interpreter is a single mother.

She talked about how he knows nothing about family life. He's raised in a group. The children go to school together in a group, eat together in a group, and go everywhere together in a group. She says. "He will need to be trained how to live in a family". He is in a special class because he has a speech problem. He has a problem with his S's? This explains why he sounds like he's clearing his throat when he says the "s" at the end of banana's.

Lex was attentive through the meal. Normally he eats quickly and rushes off to play. He helped clear the dishes, and then after sitting close to 45 minutes asked if he could play computer. He was close by so they could ask questions and I think he was very curios to hear what we were talking about.

The director lives on site and has been working in orphanages for 20 years. She seemed so kind and she promised if I send home clothes and things with him that he can keep them. I had Oskana ask why he won't wear his new shoes and he really wouldn't come out and say but she thinks he plans on selling them? (Later we found out it was because he LOVED the old cleats of Rylees.)  I guess I'll send Ry's old shoes with him as he's become pretty attached to them and at least they fit!

We spoke a lot about the adoption process which I wasn't sure they were going to be open too. They actually brought it up more than we did. (I had heard that Ukraine's were opposed to those out of their country adopting.) But Naydia said these orphans just don't have a chance for adoption unless those outside of the country adopt. They told me not to be afraid. She gave me her card with her numbers and told me I could call and send letters. I jokingly asked her if I could just keep him and she laughed and said I would be in big trouble and so would she. She was so warm and said we had a beautiful home and that Lex was very happy here.

When they left with James I shut the door and turned to Lex and with both said "Whew" and wiped our foreheads at the same time, then he jumped up into my arms and wrapped his arms and legs around me and smothered my checks with kisses. I guess if he didn't know we were considering adoption, he does now!

James had been quite skeptical earlier today. Lex can be whiny and sort of mule headed at times. James noticed this when I was trying to get him to read my computer about inviting the director to dinner, he wouldn't come read it and ran off sulking to watch cartoons. It's not that I haven't noticed this behavior, I just wasn't sure how to address it? But, once again time for a computer talk. (No wonder he didn't want to come read my simple question, I'm always lecturing him via the translation program!) We had a difficult talk about not pouting, whining and running off. He agreed to try to use his words and not run off.

Later I translated a note and put it on his bed telling him how much I liked having him in our home and how I wanted him to have fun here and that I really appreciate him trying to obey and be good. (There, now I had typed something more than a lecture or reprimand!)

We invited Masha & Nastia over to play (Jen's girls) and he of course showed how he can ride a bike and the remote to the garage. Jen had asked me to see if Lex would call me mom in front of her girls because this hasn't happened for her yet. So I had typed to him before they came over to please introduce us. I had to remind him and he looks at me puzzled and points to me and says "Mama", and to James and says "Papa" and walks off like what the heck, don't you know who you are?

We then went to our dentist appointment. I had typed to him asking if he wanted to know where we were going or be surprised and that his friends would be there. He opted for surprise. (Good, because I was pretty sure I'd have to take him kicking and screaming.) We went to a nice new building off of 13th South and 9th West to a place called Donated Dental. The waiting room was packed with orphan's. I had to laugh as all of us mom's have by now surrendered our camera's to our orphans and they just run around taking pictures of each other.

(Some of the other orphan's pictures. Note how Lex is taking a picture of Masha while she's taking a picture of him!)

Lex was so very nervous, he crawled on my lap and kept groaning and asked me by nodding at the door and saying "Mama" and squeezing my hand. I assured him I would come with him and hold his hand. At last our turn came. I held not one but both hands as his eyes filled with tears. He didn't cry, but he was so scared. I was scared too. His mouth looked awful to me. They cleaned his teeth and the dentist examined him and gave us wonderful news. The bad teeth are all baby teeth and will fall out on their own within a year. He did mention that he was a grinder and had ground his baby teeth down to almost nothing but that he must have stopped grinding as his adult teeth were just fine. I'm attributing this grinding to the stress and anxiety he has probably experienced at such a young age.

A quick X-ray reveled that he had a tiny cavity in an adult tooth and recommend asking our dentist for a filling before sending him back. I told them I hoped to have him back here in 8 months to a year and can the cavity go that long?  He said, "Absolutely!". He laughed when I said "We'll say welcome to the family, now let's go fill your cavity!"

(Lex on my lap waiting for his appointment.This picture was taken by his orphan friend Katya)

We went to McDonald's to celebrate his bravery and then to "Ma-ha-zing" to buy banana's and groceries. He asked for toy's repeatably in the store but I told him he'd have to earn some money and he put them back with out a fuss. He did whine/pout a couple of times when I told him no to food like Pop Tarts and other junky foods. I just said "nett" and imitated his behavior and he stopped. It worked! (Or at least today it worked!)

(At McDonald's.)

(Carrying ALL the groceries from the car)

Tonight he and Dev and Ry are watching "Speed Racer" which he picked out at RedBox and the feeling in our home is so peaceful. James after talking to the director understands his behavior and situation so much more and has gotten over his concerns and even feels badly about his previous reservations.

I on the other hand have had no reservations, I know he's mine. I know he's meant to be with us and I know this will all work out. What I don't know is how we're going to pay for this (yet) and mostly how I'm going to put him on a plane, send him half way around the world and wait for all my paper work to come together.

I feel like I'm having a reverse pregnancy. Normally you're sick, you feel some movement, your uncomfortable and then you wonder and wait for what seems forever to see what this child will be like.

I know what this child is like, I know how he smells, how he feels, what he's like and now I have to send him away and go through all the sickness and uncomfortableness and have no movement or connection besides letters and perhaps a translated phone call here and there. I won't know if he's safe, if he's feed, if he's okay, if he's scared, if he needs me....

I'm just hoping and praying that it's A LOT shorter than nine months!

Papa is home...

James came home last night and Lex greeted him like he'd known him all his life. "Papa!" Then he jumped on his bike to show him his new found skill. The night was relatively calm. I had made Beef Stroganoff and Lex picked the beef out and refused to eat brussel spouts. (Believe it or not my kids love brussel sprouts-they argue over how many they can have.) But don't worry, he's not starving here. I made him an egg to make up for his lack of protein at dinner, then he had a banana, later we all shared a pomegranate. I made cookies as we were hit by "The Halloween Phantom" last night (He wanted to know if the cookies I had wrapped up on plates I was selling for money?) I couldn't even try to explain door bell ditching. He had a cookie even though he turned up his nose at the chocolate chips and then right before bed he begged me to make him eggs...again! I think he had an apple sometime too.

He got up early this morning and we turned on cartoons, Ry got up too and we all watched cartoons until it was time to make breakfast. The worse part is it was a cartoon about Kenny The Shark going to the dentist and getting his teeth yanked out with pliers AND we're going to the dentist tomorrow!

Here we are watching TV:

This morning I made hash browns and eggs and I thought 10 eggs would feed us all....nope! I think I may need to invest in a few chickens!
He and "Papa" had a game of "money, money, money" but it only lasted about 10 minutes. (Morning times he has a very short attention span.) Then they both rode bikes up to Rylee's school.

 We went to a fun activity with the other orphans at "Bouncing Off The Walls" and we checked Rylee out to go with us. He LOVED playing air hockey and he took lots of pictures. (Note to self, don't complain anymore that there are not any pictures of you in your scrap book....you are not photogenic and belong behind the camera!)

We then went to McDonald's for lunch. McDonald's is apparently a universal word, he even drew a happy meal box to show us what he was talking about. However, James and I decided to go through the Arby's drive in for our own food and then to McDonalds. Alexy was almost in tears and frantically trying to convey he wanted to go to McDonalds. We finally made it to McDondals - much to his relief - and  he got another Hot Wheels car in his meal. He polished off his entire Happy Meal and then finished all of Ry's and my fries. And then of course he proclaimed, "Da doma" and he's been riding his bike, riding the scooter, trying to fly his kite and now playing with his cars. (All in the last 1/2 hour!)

So, I've been a little concerned about James coming home. I've had a few day's to acclimate to Lex and he to all of us and now we're throwing a "Papa" in the mix. I know James is trying to be really open minded about this but he has his reservations.
Since my "first kiss" yesterday he's given me about 20 more. Mostly on the cheeks, a few right on the lips. Always in private when it's just the two of us. He'll come in while I'm sitting at the computer and lay his head on my shoulder and sigh a "maa-ma". James thinks he's playing me, I think he loves the idea of having a mama.
I was reflecting yesterday as I washed the dishes. 10 years ago this month I had a tubal miscarriage. I remember it every time the leaves change color. It's sort of a melancholy time for me, the whole experience lasted just about a month and I was devastated. I had wanted that baby so badly. Had I carried the baby to term he would have been born at the end of July. Lexy's birthday is in July 28th, Interesting....hu?
Anyway, I need to thank all of you for your sweet comments, supportive emails and love and concern. I didn't go into this anticipating I would bare so much of my soul, I thought it just be fun and sweet and I began blogging to keep James in the loop as he missed the first four days. But I realize as I find snatches of time to blog that this is more for me than for anyone and now that James is home he'll never check my blog but I'm going to keep it up just for me....and for Alexy.....