My Long ESL rant.....

E.S.L.

Stands for English as a Second Language.

Alex has been in ESL since he arrived here 2.5 (almost) years ago.

If you've followed my blog for a long time, you'll know that we have an IEP (Individual Education Plan) in place for Alex with regards to his speech. His SPEECH, not his language. He was adopted from an orphanage for children with speech disorders. Thank goodness it was documented in our court adoption decree that he was from this special orphanage and even better, that he needed continual help with his speech or we would not be getting any help through the school."One cannot assume that just because a child isn't fluent in a language, that he has learning disabilities."  I get this, I do. But despite numerous teachers concerned about his retention - and being concerned myself when we cover a topic and master it and revisit it a week later and he draws a blank -  despite being told he was a "terrible" student from his orphanage teachers, (so terrible that the teachers and administration questioned why I would even want to adopt this boy?) despite the neglect and trauma of his past and how behind he is in EVERY subject, unless he has a "learning disability" there really isn't any additional help he is entitled to in the school system - except ESL. (And of course he cannot be tested for a disability in English until he is somewhat fluent which is a minimum of 3 years preferable 5-7. I found this out almost a year after being home and he was no longer fluent in Ukraine either.)

Okay.

I get this and despite my kicking against the pricks trying to get him additional services, I have tried to be graceful and back down and let the "professionals" do their job.

When he moved to the junior high we went through the mess of rearranging his schedule to get in an English class with the ESL teacher, I had to remind them we had an IEP entitling him to speech therapy, and I had to press getting him in the reading program he started in elementary - there it was called "Fast Forward" in Junior High it is called "Functional Literacy". (Not sure he really is entitled to this program? I think the elementary put him in it to pacify me and since he started it there - apparently the elementary and junior high aren't exactly great at communication - I just pushed for him to continue.)

So, fast forward to last week when I emailed both the English teacher and ESL teacher and asked about Alex and exactly what sort of services is he getting? Because as I see it, the only difference is they've cut his vocabulary words in half and he's not taking the spelling test. (Hard to say since we haven't had vocabulary words or spelling words in over a month.) At parent/teacher conference I had talked to the English teacher about replacing Alex's vocabulary words with words he could actually use in real life rather than just cutting down on the over-his-head words. She thought that would be a good idea but nothing has come home since that meeting September 27th. 

In our email conversation, I had expressed my frustration with the ELS program and why can't he be sent home with some worksheets to help him "catch up" with his class? Concepts we could work on at home?  If it came through the school, then I would not be the "ogre mother" asking him to study in addition to his regular homework, he would just think it's homework. Win/win for everyone. Right?

Well, I don't get much of a response from English teacher which is fine, it's really not her job - it's the ESL teachers job, right? I've still heard nothing from ESL teacher.

When I ask Alex what he did with the ESL teacher,  he usually says, "She wasn't there.". When I pinned him directly on what exactly he does with the ESL teacher when she IS there (she is there three days a week) he told me, "She helps me when I don't understand.". I asked if she takes him aside and works on specific concepts? "No. She just helps me. Like helps me understand the story." 

Hum....

So, now we are up to yesterday. I get a call from the Speech teacher telling me how great Alex did on his "s" test. (The "s" sound is his main issue -  it comes out of the sides of his mouth - sort of slushy like - and we're working on getting the sound out of the front of his mouth. Right now he over emphasizes the "s" sound and it makes a whistling sound - but it IS coming out of the front of his mouth. Woot! He sort of  reminds me a little of the Gopher from Winnie The Pooh.)

She told me how she wants to work on his "th" sound and on some of his "r" sounds. Great! We will take all the help we can get. I mentioned how I love it when she sends home word lists where he has to not only say the word -with the letter sound he's working on - but use it in a sentence because it not only helps his speech but vocabulary as well. Sort of two birds with one stone?  She said she'd try to send more assignments home like that and then she offhandedly mentions that she saw an email where some teachers expressed concern about Alex and his testing OUT OF ESL! 

WHAT???? 

This was news to me and when I asked more about it, the poor speech teacher backpedaled and told me maybe she misread the email and quickly changed the topic.

I am livid.

Livid.

I have tried to visit with the ESL teacher at parent/teacher conference. She wasn't there. I have emailed more than once. No response. So, I call the office and ask for her, they don't know where she is, I ask for her voice mail, she doesn't have one. They take my name and number and tell me they'll get her the message.
I called some other moms who have Ukraine imported children in our school and learn a lot! I learn that I have very unrealistic expectations of the ESL program. I assumed ESL was to help teach your child what he had missed? Help him with the concepts other children learned in younger grades? To continually help him improve not only in reading, but writing and in conversation?

Nope.
ESL is strictly to HELP your child pass that class. 

Not to mention that with budget cuts our ESL teacher is down to 15 hours a week. There are other adopted children in our system that don't qualify for any help. (And I'm betting Alex will soon be one of those children too.)

The ESL teacher calls me a few hours later.We talk about Alex and she gushes that he is so smart, has such a good attitude, that he is really one of her highest functioning ESL students she has ever had. That she's helped so many of these Ukraine kids and some are so angry and defiant but he is so sweet and just really doing great.  I agree with all this but ask her how he is expected to get on grade level? When do we get him help with the things he's missing? How do we fill the gaps?  She has no answer. She tells me it is evident I am helping him at home based on how well he's doing. (Thank you.) I explain my dilemma about being the "ogre mother" - asking him to do additional studying  in addition to going to school all day and his regular homework. She can't help me there.  She is just there to help him with this class.

She does agrees to help me modify his vocabulary and spelling. She says NOTHING about him testing out of ESL and I figured she would have said something if it was true. She really is a nice lady and I'm glad I had calmed down before I spoke with her. (Thanks Jen & Ann!)

I got off the phone and took a deep breath. 

Okay.

I'm going to have to make up the difference.

But I'm going to need to make this worth it for Alex. 

He gets home from school and I explain in the most positive light that the school just can't do enough for him to fill in his gaps. 

That I want him to grow up and be anything he wants to be and not be stuck driving a garbage truck or working as a day laborer.

I look at my beautiful boy and tell him how I know how smart he is and that he can do and be anything he wants but not if we can't get his language skills up to grade level. 

I tell him I am going to have to be his teacher and that this will be a sacrifice for me too. We're going to have to do thirty minutes of studying 5 times a week. 15 minutes on his journal - which we already do - and another 15 on concepts he's missed/vocabulary/basic grammar etc.

AND if he does this with a happy heart and good attitude, I will (choke) get him his own cell phone. (You should have seen the grin.) AND if he continues to do it with the same great attitude, he will get to continue to KEEP his cell phone.

I mean really? He has to get something more than a brilliant future with unlimited potential out of this right?

He readily agrees to all my terms and then tells me "You teach me most English anyway mom." 

I teach him MOST English?

((Sigh))

We've got a lot to learn.....

Change It Is A Come-en!

Change.

Not sure I like change. 

My friend and gym buddy has this quote on her blog.

Our dilemma is that we hate change and we love change at the same time; what we really want is for things to remain the same but get better.
– Sydney J. Harris

So true.

My change?

#1 I've been released from Young Women's.

#2 I think I have a new job.(Just waiting on a criminal background check)

#3 I have a new iPhone. 

#4 My children have lives and plans of their own and no longer want to hang out with us!

#1 Surprised me a little as I had only been serving for a year and I was so looking forward to going to camp with Rylee this summer. Fortunately the new presidency is fabulous and my girls (all of 'em not just my daughters) are in good hands. The worst is not knowing what my next calling will be.... maybe camp director? (I wish.)

#2 So, I've been working on getting this job for about a year. It's taken me that long just to get my application turned in at the right time. Yes, I applied to Jet Blue. Working reservations out of my home. First there was the difficulty of turning in my application when they were accepting applications. The site crashed 12 times and I had to keep starting over. Then the nerve wracking "computer" interview where I had to answer questions about myself and my customer service experience over the phone with a computer. I passed that and went in for and overview, interview and drug test. Passed all of those and now I'm waiting on a ten year criminal background check. Since I had to jump through the hoops of being fingerprinted and a criminal background check in order to adopt Alex I think I'll pass. I haven't broken too many laws since.

Training starts November 7th and it's FULL TIME!! 7:30 am to 3:30pm. Oh. My. Goodness. What the heck? My hat's off to you moms that work full time. My only saving grace is knowing it's for four weeks and not forever! 
I have wanted to get on with Jet Blue for the flying benefits and after the overview I think I want the medical benefits almost as much!

(No, I am not hanging up my Real Estate shoes - just supplementing.)
I keep telling myself it will be a good thing, I'll be working out of my home and in time, I hope to have a pretty flexible schedule. (Sounds like the first while we be the worst shifts and the most inconvenient time for being a mom!)  We'll see how this goes....wish me luck!

#3 The new iPhone. Oh my. I think I'm going to like it, once I figure it out. It's just the learning process that I hate. My kids laugh at me as I try to figure it out. If I hand it over to them they do whatever I'm trying to figure out so fast that I can't even follow them. Geez.  As mentioned Alex has an iPod touch and for some reason whatever app's he loads go on my phone too. Like I need 500 different race car wallpaper options? I'm sure in time I will get to know my phone and my fat fingers will hit the right letter, and I'll be able to decipher what tone is for what. I took it to church -as I downloaded my scriptures on it - but I couldn't figure out how to mute it. I finally handed it to Austin and he toggled it to mute. A toggle button? An actual manual button? And here I am looking through every setting and sound volume. See what I mean?

#4 The kids have a four day weekend this week, and a 3.5 day weekend next week. We were invited to my friends families cabin - it's beautiful - the cabin AND the setting but mostly importantly, I love the company that we'd be going with. My kids? Don't want to go. "There's nothing to do at the cabin." "I have to work." "It will be boring." "We already went to the cabin." Good grief! After realizing that one child could not go, and the other three did not want to go and the one that did want to go needed to attend her college classes, we just bagged it. We're just staying home. I guess we'll pull the garden out and fertilize the lawn and do all the fun and exciting things we always do. My kids don't get that in order for me (and James) to relax, and play board games and relax some more, I have to leave my house! They of course will sleep in, play  hang out (Alex told me "playing" is for babies) with their precious friends - the real reason no one wants to go away - and then need me to drive them places. Or in Austin's case, work. 

((Sigh))

What happened to the days when I could just load them in the car and go wherever and everyone was just happy to be going somewhere. No one had an opinion or conflicting schedules. We just needed a diaper bag and fruit snacks and we were on our way! Okay, so if it was an overnight trip it took a lot more effort and planning then that and we often times came home more tired and stressed than relaxed but the point is, for a quick jaunt to get something to eat I didn't have to hear 

"No, I don't want to go to Subway, I want McDonald's. I want more Monopoly pieces." 

"McDonald's will make us fat, I want Subway." 

"I don't want either, I want to go to Cafe Rio." 

"I can't go I need to go to work/rehearsals/dance/ hang out with my friend." 

"Can my friend come?" 

Grrr....and they wonder why we don't take them out to eat? 

So, there you have it.

My change.

It's not just coming....it's here!

Meeting Travis

Devreee's 80's Stomp

My life...

This morning my alarm went off.

I couldn't believe it! 

I had slept through the night! 

Without getting up to go to the bathroom or tossing and turning trying to NOT look at the clock  - telling myself my 5:15 am alarm will be going off any second - only to finally look at the clock and realize it is only 3:30 am! (An every night occurrence!)

I laid there this morning thinking how great I should feel -not waking up and sleeping soundly through the night - but yet, not feeling very rested.

Hum....

I had my little angle/devil talk in my head that I do every morning about getting up to go to the gym.

Angel: Just get up, you know you will feel guilty later. 

Devil: But you could exercise LATER, you don't really have to get up.

Angel: But you know you probably WON'T exercise later, you have a crazy day. Just get up

Devil: Or just go back to sleep.

I decided to listen to Angel - no, she doesn't always win, lately Devil has been a lot more persuasive - I sat up to turn my alarm off - I'm such a light sleeper that I have my alarm on the radio setting at a very low volume. I doubt it even wakes up James on the other side of the bed.

I looked at the clock.

It was 12:01 am !
No wonder I didn't feel rested or wake up or need a bathroom break.

I had been asleep for an hour and 15 minutes!!

Good grief.

(Power glitch earlier in the week had made my clock blink and I reset but apparently forgot about my alarm.)

I set my alarm for the correct time and went back to bed!

College Catch Up!

(I stole all of these pictures off of Face Book.)

Kambree is having a blast at school. 

Here's the proof:

 (This guy is named Riley. We already have a Rylee. Guess what his middle name is? Austin. We have one of those too. I told her that this guy just won't work.)

 This was called a "foam" dance.

First Day Of School!

Not sure what the face paint is  about....

And not sure what the open mouth pose is about either....

First Day of Clinical Rotation

I think these are musicians (well, duh?) but someone that performed and she got her picture with.

New hair cut & color (she came home for this!)

At least I know she's taking care of her skin....

I know this girl is named Emily. (Not sure about the other girls names in the other pictures)

I LOVE these pictures.
Eighties Party!
(I know....she looks an awful lot like me at her age!)

With her retainer and MY actual high school glasses!

And yes, I use to wear my bangs this big too!

So funny!

 

 

 This is a new guy named Travis. We don't  have a Travis. He makes me a little nervous because she seems to like him quiet a bit and he's a "country" boy - the most dangerous type. (I should know, I married one!) Kambree's usually all about "the chase" and once she turns their head, she's done. I'm good with that. She's only 19. But this guy?? Hum....time will tell. He is cute though - and at least he has his OWN name!

Alex's Concert Critique

 I just had to document Alex's concert critique for his choir class. He wrote this ALL by himself (I would have helped him but he did it and handed it in without my assistance).

I saw the Murray High School Beginning concert.

It was in Murray High School.

 The performers are. Hand bell Choir, Bel canto, women’s choir, men’s choir and A Cappella choir.

They performed vocal and instruments.

The hand bell people whore black tuxedo’s.

The women’s choir whore  blue and silver. The girls wore blue and silver dresses  the boys whore Sunday shirts and black Sunday pants.

The kept the tempo  nice and soft. They did the best  thing in Rhythm, Dynamics , balance and texture.  I like Hie Away because the song was about cow boy’s that where on the Hie Away and sing about girls . They made me feel like I was meant to sing.

As I saw the concert it show us how good we will get when we go to High School, and we will go thought out of a lot experiences and we will show good examples  to other kid that want to sing.

We should be exited to do concerts because when you don’t have a job you can always  sing in karaoke and you can get a little bit of money.

Thought out live we should always try sing when we don’t feel like it.

It actually makes you feel better when you sing. 

By. Alex Richhart

 

Hugging Help Please!

So....I mentioned that Alex has been on a "I love you" kick a couple of posts back? It's sweet and all but after 5 or 6 hugs and one long "hand hold" during homework correction, then another, "Mom, I need another hug" interruption while working on the computer,  I had to nix it. I mean really?
It's great to be loved but 5 or 6 hugs in a two hour period? 

That's just too many! 

Isn't it?

And it's not a quick hug, it's a FOREVER HUG with kisses on the cheeks and proclamations "Mom, I am going to give you your best hug of the day!" or "Mom I love you so, so much!"
And it's been going on for a LONG TIME and getting to be MORE and MORE. (I keep thinking he'll get over it but when?)

So, I told him how much I love him but that we don't need to hug so much. It's just not normal. 

Oh dear.

I hope I have done the right thing.

He handled it well but watch him never hug me again?

Oh yikes.

But seriously.

If they made a Moby Wrap for 13 year old's - and I had the strength to carry him in it - I'm sure he wouldn't mind....as long as no one else was watching.

I know he missed out on a lot of hugs and kisses as a small boy but, I think I've pretty much made up for them in the past 2.5 years. Yep. Pretty sure I have hugged him more than some of my other children combined!  I like to hug but every 15 minutes?

Anyone else have this issue with their adopted children?

(My apologies to those that have anti-affectionate kiddo's - I know it sounds like a pregnant lady complaining about morning sickness to the lady that can't conceive and for that I am sorry.)  But for the others with love bugs like mine? What did you do? Did you have to draw lines or come out and talk about it? I just thought it would wear off. It is wearing,  just not off! 

Please comment!
~Wendy

PS (Whew, he came in to ask me a question and wrapped his arm around my shoulder and placed his cheek against mine - so I don't think I need to worry about the "Will he ever hug me again?" issue as stated above. However, that would technically be a hug - only in sideways fashion - wouldn't it? So,  I guess my "We should hug a little less." talk may not have done any good?)

This and That

Last night Alex got it in his head that he was going to re-learn his Ukrainian and asked me to set up the Rosetta Stone. (Rosetta Stone has a Russian program not Ukrainian but Alex claims it's close enough.)  I happily obliged and we went through the first exercise together. I then sent him to his bath and told him he could come back and do some afterwords. He was tickled that he learned four words. Cat, Dog, Girl, Boy after completing the first exercise. Before leaving for his bath, he matter of factually informed me that when he comes back, I better come in and talk to him every five minutes so he doesn't forget his "American."

(I tried really hard not to laugh out loud.)

I needed to run Devree to a party and run a few errands. When I came back Alex was waiting for me. He decided that I should learn Russian with him and had been waiting for me. "Come on mom, let's learn Russian together."

So we sat down together and started exercise number two. I'm not a huge fan of Rosetta Stone. They tend to show you four pictures, say a word and you guess what picture. To me it's more like a game of memory. Just click on the picture that hasn't been chosen yet. Rylee joined us and she was doing better than Alex or I - that didn't sit well with Alex, I finally told her to just help me guess. I did get to where I could make out certain words, like the word for horse sounds like Alex's Ukraine name and the word for three sounds like our three but today I can't remember or say anything! (However, truth be told, I did better than Alex.)

I always call Alex "my baby boy". Not in a name calling way - like it might sound - but in a sweet "Oh, my baby boy" way and after going through five or six exercises we figured out how to say "My baby boy" in Russian. "Mir-a My-chink Ribiona" (But I couldn't remember it today - I had to holler to Alex and ask him again how to say it just to spell it phonetically on this blog.) 

((Sigh.))

I really do think those that speak many languages - or even just two - have a gift. A gift that I apparently forgot to put on my registry? 

Today in church Devree was asking me if her eyelashes looked long? My girls are really into long lashes and use this stuff that's suppose to make them grow. I have some too but I don't have enough time and patience to apply it. Alex upon hearing Devree ask about her eyelashes asked me, "Is my mustache long?" I looked at him puzzled. I asked "What mustache?" Then he pointed to his eyelashes. "What are those Alex?" "Oh. Not mustache. Eyebrows." "Nope." I said. "Guess again."  "Oh, eyelashes." "Yes, your eyelashes are long." And they are, any girl would love to have them. He hates them and tells me he is going to trim them with scissors.

Austin is playing McDonald's Monopoly game. He's pretty serious about it. He heard that all the Boardwalk pieces are on one side of the country and "Parkplace" on the other. He only needs a Boardwalk for a million dollars so he called my mom to get him one while she's out flying. (My mom's a flight attendant.) He promises he'll split the million with her after taxes.He also promises to take us all out to sushi. Nice.

My Grandma Lee had a nasty fall on Saturday. 

She fell down some cement stairs and hit her back and head. 

She was rushed to the hospital and after many x-rays and CT's later released with a hairline crack in her back and a small head cut. (It didn't even need stitches.)

My mom was flying, my Dad and brothers were hunting and I knew my mom would be in a panic so I rearranged my Saturday to be up at the hospital with grandma. I left my mom a couple of very calm messages on her voice mail - she was in the air - but despite my calmest delivery , she was a basket case and flew home immediately. I picked her up Saturday afternoon.

Grandma Lee is okay and staying with my mom for the next few days.

My kids had an epiphany this afternoon. Devree asked "So if grandma is your mom and she's taking care of her mom, does that mean we have to take care of you?" "YES!" I exclaimed. "You all get to take care of me." Hum...no one said much after that. 

I am watching my brothers girlfriend's dog, Dexter for the weekend.  He's a tiny Yorkie. He and Ella get along okay after they warm up to each other. But I've taken to calling Dexter, "Timmy", and Ella, "Lassie". As "Lassie" is always looking out for "Timmy". At three this morning, apparently "Timmy" used the dogie door to go out but couldn't remember how to get back in. "Lassie" was asleep on my bed -like always- and she sat up suddenly, growled and took off running and barking down the stairs and then remained downstairs barking "rescue" barks -very loudly - until I came down and let "Timmy" in the back door.

Good grief. 

Funny thing is, my kids have no idea who Timmy and Lassie are.

James is at work. The garbage disposal must know this as it decided to stop working this afternoon. Funny how the mechanical things in our home respect him so much more than they do me. Sometimes all I have to do is get him on the phone and they suddenly start working. I am hoping that the disposal will magically start working as I've already done my broom handle trick and it's yet to respond.

Well, that's all for now. 

Das-va-dona!
Which I think is good-bye in Russian?

That or something Arnold Schwarzenegger says.....

 

Almost Three Years

Yesterday the weather was horrid. 

Horrid I say.

What was suppose to be rain turned into slushy snow and the whole day was just dreary.

I drove my junior high kids to school.

I realize I only have one junior high child (Alex) but he walks each day with two girls in our neighborhood and his cousin, Brach. 

My sister and I decided that the boys can walk while the weather is good and then a neighbor friend, Abbie asked if she could join them. I have Abbie's sister Beth each morning for about 30 minutes before school. She comes and practices the piano and reads until it's time for the elementary children to walk to school. She is Rylee's age. 

Abbie is a grade above Alex but technically his age. (As Alex is old for his grade.)

So, Abbie joined the Junior High walk to school this year. (They just moved in last year.) Katie who lives across the street joined in a couple of weeks later.

I have many children coming and going in the morning that I just leave the door open and I've instructed them to just walk in. (Our dog doesn't bark if they just walk in but if they ring the doorbell? Good grief.)

Both Abbie and Beth are adopted from China. Darling girls.

The first day I saw Alex and Abbie leave to met Brach at the bottom of the hill I thought about these two former orphans from opposite sides of the globe, now here in families, walking to school together. It gave me chills to think how their futures could have been so much different. 

Anyway, so yesterday I'm taking the kids to school and Abbie remarked how she's been here for ten months now. Katie remarked how long she'd lived in the area and Brach too. Alex pipped in with I've been here 2 years and 2 months. I did the math and pointed out that at the end of this month he will have been here 2 years and SIX months. And that on the 18th of this month, we will have known him for three years. (The day he arrived for the hosting program three years ago.)

Wow. Three years. 

I can't imagine my life without Alex. 

What would I do with my time? And more importantly, what would I blog about?? (JK)

He is such a sweet boy. 

It took us awhile and a lot of work to get to this point but it was so worth it. Yes, he's  trying at times - as anyone that follows this blog can attest - but mostly, he's just sweet and eager to please and so loves having a family and a place to call home.

He's really on a "I love you Mom" kick. I think I hear it about ten times a day.

And despite these two girls standing in the house, waiting for Alex (as I'm always reminding him to brush his teeth or wear a jacket or did he grab his lunch?) each morning,  he'll come right up to me and hug me or kiss my cheek goodbye before leaving for school. Love that. Love that he doesn't care about being cool as much as he cares about showing love. I hope that never changes.

Yesterday he came home and I had my hair in hot rollers. He was trying to hug me while sitting at my computer but my rollers were in the way, it was sort of like hugging a porcupine. He started asking me about what it was like to wear rollers? How did I get them in? (He is so very curious about all things.)  I asked him if he'd like to take them out for me? 

YES! 

I don't think I've ever had anyone be softer and more gentle with my hair. Ever. He was so sweet. When they were all out he told me it looked beautiful. "You look beautiful mom."

And with that he gave me a hug and went off to start his homework.