Reliable Hugging

Remember my deal with Alex this week? 

No using the dreaded phrase, "I don't know"? 

Well, you might find that challenge odd or peculiar but for the last two years (well, the last year -since he's been fluent enough to understand English) I've been trying to get Alex to verbalize his feelings, what he's thinking, with very little success. 

For the first year he thought I was asking him how he was "feeling" as in "Are you feeling sick?" And his answer was "Okay" or "Good" but  once we got on the same playing field as to what FEELINGS actually are, his answer is always, without fail,  "I don't know." So, with the carrot of  "no journal writing for a week" dangling in front of him he has really taken it to heart and has refused to say those three words. So much that when you ask him something like "Where is Austin?" He'll answer "Why should I have to know?" Or "Where is the basketball?" and he just won't answer at all. (I did explain that this is not a game of trickery. If he legitimate doesn't know where someone or something is, he can say "I don't know." But when it comes to what is going on inside of his head, only he knows and that is when he cannot say "I don't know.")
So yesterday after school he delivered a few side-squish-his-cheek-to-mine hugs, an out right, front on hug, and then sighed and proclaimed that he needed more hugs! At that point I turned from my computer (I was trying to work)  and I pulled him onto my lap and he laid against my chest , wrapping his arms around me and looked up at me. I asked what he was feeling? 

"Like hugging"

"Why do you feel like hugging?"

"Because......(big long pause).....because my mom in past never hug me."

Your Ukraine Mom?

Yes.

She never hugged you?

No.

"So you are making up for lost hugs?"

"Yes."

"Did anyone ever hug you?"

"My Dad and Ivan but my mom push me away."

"Alex. I am so sorry your Ukraine mom didn't hug you and I am so glad I am your mom now and I get to hug you. I am really glad you could tell me what you were thinking."

I've always thought this was the case. He really does like to hug....a lot! I felt that this was just the very reason but before it was always my assumption, that he was just trying to catch up on missed affection. (One week of no journal writing is so worth this little verbalization of feelings.)

Last night we were going over his vocabulary words for the week. This week we're trying to use the same words his class is. One of the words was reliable. After explaining it and giving examples, Alex informed me - matter of factually - "That's what you are mom!" 

"Reliable?"

"Yes."

"Thanks Alex!"