Halloween Oh My Heck!

I was sharing with a blogging friend how stressful Halloween is.

Oh my. 

Whoever thought up this holiday must certainly not be a mom. 

Or maybe they just don't like moms? 

• First off there's the costume. I don't allow my kids to decide what they're being until after October 1st because - just like birthday gifts and Christmas presents- they change their mind a million times between now and then. I am also not a fan of store bought costumes - my own flaw - and that only adds to the stress. I like originality and detest the basic vampire, witch, hobo costume so, the stress starts early. First off coming up with the great idea, figuring out how to pull off the costume and then talking said child into my great idea. Another issue with costumes? Is every year at this time I get out my costume boxes (yes plural - I have lot's of costumes) and find someone has lent out my ballroom gloves, my gold pirate tooth is lost, the Yeti outfit is missing and I freak out!! You know how some people count their silver? I'm like that with my costumes. I don't mind lending or sharing but it irks me when things are not returned or worse! When my kids lend them/use them/lose them and I don't even know! (This year I replaced both black and white elbow length gloves and added 12 snakes and a pair of green and black stripped tights.)

• Then there's the decorations. Oh, I am so lame in that department.  I don't do gory-scary. Boo. I like cutesy, harvest, fall stuff. Having three girls and one boy for the majority of time - I only got grief from Austin that our house was lame because it is so NOT scary. I'm fine with that. We've always had neighbors that went all out. This year they had lights and a fog machine across the street. Go for it neighbors! More power too you. But as much as I don't like scary, I do like crafty-cute and I am not a crafter. I don't sew (which makes the costume issue an even bigger problem)  I don't paint, knit, crochet, applique, bedazzle, I don't even hot glue well. And when I do? I get knots between my shoulder blades and an instant headache and all I can see is the many mistakes and how dumb my craft looks compared to everyone else's.   So my cutesy-fall-harvesty stuff is made up of things I've been given by friends and visiting teachers over the years that ARE crafters!

• Then there's the school party - which I already blogged about. Dressing as a witch and telling stories? Not a problem? Being put in charge of treats, crafts or a "center"....more stress. (Unless it's games. Games that are just fun -without boards and prizes and foo-foo.) And then there's the "get you kid up and fed, and costumed & made up, you costumed & made up and remember all the treats, supplies and camera & props and clothes for child to change back into" morning on the day of. Not to mention you need to get them to school ON time and find a parking space that's not a mile away because you're wearing awesome witch shoes and they're are made for flying on a broom not traipsing from the north forty laden down with supplies for the class party. Once in the school you have to stake your place and hold the seats for your parents coming to watch the parade that don't want to show up an hour early like you. That's always fun. That's when you're glad your dressed as a witch because you are acting appropriately. 

• Now add the pumpkins. For year's we've grown our own but last year they were so deformed and ugly we elected not to grow them this year. So about two weeks ago I bought two lovely pumpkins. A short fat one and a tall skinny one. I wanted to get good one's before only the left overs were left. (Rylee wanted to do Phinias and Ferb. Cartoon people. And wanted specific sizes)  I came home, opened my SUV hatch and out rolled my thirty pound pumpkin! Splat! Big split. I stuck it on the porch all the same - to add to my cute harvesty look - and when Austin announced he needed a pumpkin to go to a carving party at Marissa's house later that week -with 5 minutes notice -  I volunteered up my tall, skinny, split guy. So, I had to replace him last week. By now pumpkins are down in price. Great. I should have waited. Not only for the price but because my short, fat guy who's been gracing my front porch is froze and was partially rotten. However, replacing   my tall, skinny guy was hard as they were very picked over by the time I got there. Grrr....

• Now the carving of the pumpkins is another ordeal. You know how the costume stress is my own issue? The pumpkin one is James. For years he has spend HOURS carving intricate characters into pumpkins. Often times just finishing up when the first (or tenth) trick-or-treater hits our porch. But he is not a fool. He has taken this passion of his and passed it on to his children and ALL our children can carve fabulous pumpkins. This year - even Alex joined in. It's been no small task passing on this torch - and don't ask me how they do it, if I carved pumpkins they'd look like this:

Not like this:

These are not actually ours- ours are always on the funny side. (One year we did Napoleon Dynamite characters and I served tator-tots at the door.  Another year he did each of the kids on a pumpkin. We've done Power Puff Girls, The Incredible, Scooby Doo etc.)

• Then there's the food. I always think it's a good idea to make chili and soup and invite my family over before trick or treating. The idea is to enjoy each others company, see all the kids costumes, have grandma & grandpa be a part of the event, include my single brothers without children,  just celebrate our family-ness? In theory this is a great idea - but we're running late, the kids won't eat -as they're too excited to trick or treat - and I am out of patience. So, on top of running to and from the school for the parade and parties, getting home,  referring how much candy can and should be consumed prior to dinner, making dinner, figuring out last minute costumes for my brothers or older children or my older children's friends, getting the kids back into costumes, re-doing their makeup, pumpkins carved, and candy purchased to hand out - I attempt to host a dinner party. What am I thinking??

• Trick or Treating. It's actually not a matter of who will take and who will stay home. James takes, I stay home and pass out candy. I also clean up the dinner mess, the costume and make up mess and think about how I can make things simpler next year all while eating candy bar after candy bar. I do get to hear all the compliments about our pumpkins- that I had nothing to do with.We have neighbors  down the street that always makes scones. Fresh, hot yummy scones. At least that's what I hear, I have never actually had one because I am at home passing out candy. But I hear they have quite a crowd and I am sure it's costs them a lot and is very time consuming. I on the other hand, just hand out candy bars - and not even full size one's. Another point where my children remind me I am lame.

And so it goes. For nineteen years - this has been my reality of Halloween. Rush, rush, quick, quick and snap a picture to document the chaos.

Until this year.

This year:

• Kambree was away at college. She had picked up a costume on her last visit home
• Austin dressed himself at the last minute as a nerd and went to hang out with friends
• Devree went as a basketball player and hit a few houses and then ended up hanging out with friends too
• Alex and Ry went trick-or-treating on their own as Ry has a cell phone these days and they're big enough to go by themselves.
• Alex & Ry did most of the pumpkin carving and we started on Saturday (James had to do some last minute help on both but the majority of the work was done by our two youngest)
• The school had all parties and parades on the 27th so none of the crazy, busy day activities.
• I made chili and stuck it in the crock pot, my mom showed up with clam chowder and my sister rolls and dinner was actually enjoyable
• James and I stayed home and passed out candy together - the first time ever
• And another first? Alex brought me home a scone. And it was warm and yummy. Just like I've always been told!

So....for you two readers out there with little's - it will get better! It might take nineteen years but it will get  better! 

Here's looking forward to Thanksgiving - another holiday created to torment us mom's!