Got Your Back

I wanted to write this down really fast before I forgot.

Alex and I were having a nice moment tonight (after having a not so nice moment in the car before church due to his pockets bulging with candy) and we were talking about our possible upcoming trip to Ukraine. I was telling him how a friend of ours took her daughter back to Ukraine and it really upset her, she refused to talk - she could still speak the language - and she was acting up and not being her normal happy and willing self. I shared with Alex my concern that going back to Ukraine might be a trigger for him. That it might remind him of things he'd rather not remember. That he might get a little freaked out. He seemed to agree that it might but it's evident that he still really wants to go.

I mentioned his birth mother and what if she has been in contact with his 1/2 brother Ivan? What if she wants to see him? 

He was pretty nonchalant about it. 

"If she cared, she would have got me out of the orphanage."

"I know but maybe she's had a change of heart? Maybe she's changed her ways and she wants to see you? Show you she's changed or just see how you're doing?"
He just shrugged - in typical Alex fashion.

Then I jokingly said "Maybe your birth mom and I could have a wrestling match?" 

Then very serious and determined he told me. "She will not touch you. I will not let her." 

Again I said jokingly, "What? Don't you think I could take your birth mother?"

He did not find this amusing at all.

"She will not put one finger on you or I'll....." and he didn't finish.

I told him not to worry. I'm sure we won't wrestle but that I felt the same way. That there is no way I'd ever let her touch him again. That he was my son now.

Later that night as I was tucking him into bed he said, "We've got each others back in Ukraine huh Mom?" "Yep. We do."

Then as I was leaving he reminded me "Make me a good breakfast tomorrow so I can do good on my CRT's. (Core testing begins for 7th graders tomorrow) and don't make oatmeal!"