Hallelujah!

Just in case you're waiting with baited breath for more entries about adoption paper work here is today's update.
I got a response from emailing the assessors office that I should come in and pay $1 per page for the information needed. Information is not what I need. I can pull my own county tax data (Hello? Real Estate Agent!) I need a statement that is signed and notarized. So, I once again called, this time the lady that emailed me. I told her about what I needed and that as some point a woman named Helen provided this exact information for someone else. (Per my conversation with the adoption coordinator.) Well, apparently this Helen is now retired so I was put in touch with Helen's supervisor. A woman named Carolyn (with a voice like one of Marge Simpson's sisters). I explained to her my plight and she said she'd call me back. Ta...da! This afternoon she called and had located a letter of ownership which states all the information needed AND she will print it on letter head AND sign it AND have it notarized. Of course the notary's left for the day so, with any luck, I'll pick this up on Monday. (Note to all other parents scrambling for this paper work. When I pick up, I'll explain there will be more parents calling and get a name and phone number for you to call.)
Next thing this morning I called the IRS. (Remember, my tax guy is incapacitated and not calling me back? It's been three weeks now. So I thought I'd try the mother of all tax information. The IRS themselves!) I emptied the dishwasher, did breakfast dishes and tided the house while waiting on hold and then at last a real person! I explained that I was trying to gather paper work for an international adoption with Ukraine. I needed a statement as to being self employed and that it needed to state how much I made in 2007 and could you please put that on original letterhead, sign it and have it notarized?
IRS: We are the IRS we don't notarize. You will have to notarize it yourself.
Me: I'm sorry. It's not me they want to verify, it's you. I need your signature verified.
IRS: Mam, we are the United States IRS.
Me: I realize and respect that, but apparently the Ukrainian government doesn't.
IRS: All I can do is send you a statement of your account on letter head.
Me: Okay, I'll see if I can get it to work.
IRS: Would you like me to fax that?
Me: Um, no. That would defeat the part of "original".
Then she checked that I was in good standing with the IRS (whew!) and wished me luck with my adoption.
This probably won't be acceptable but since she offered to mail it. What the heck!
Later today (miracle of miracles) I caught my tax guy on the phone. I say tax guy because that's what he is. He's an awesome velvet top hat wearing, Harley driving, hairy, tax guy. He's not a CPA. He works wonders with my taxes. But as mentioned he was in a terrible motorcycle accident. (So now he's probably not a Harley driving tax guy anymore.) He told me to write up what I want my statement to say, fax it over and he'll get it signed, notarized and mailed back to me. So my IRS call was all for naught. Oh, well. I probably got some good karma from trying to approaching the daunting IRS and that is why I called my tax guy at the exact time he was by the phone. Right?
Got another I171H in the mail with the correct names on the second page but still doesn't say the correct wording on the first page. I'll give them until Wednesday and then just show up in person with my smiling face, sunny disposition and fist full of incorrect I171H forms.
Got my original home study in the mail. Mckay/social worker is fabulous!
Doctors office called last night and said my form was filled out and they'd call me back to schedule my test for TB, syphilis and HIV. James doctor is at the same clinic so my hope is my doctors nurse will walk James doctors nurse through the hoops. Still don't know if it will be notarized.
Haven't tackled notarized warranty deed but I know "people" in title and I don't anticipate too much of a problem.
James employment letter is coming from Louisiana and I have found the website with instructions on how to get this appostilled in Louisiana. Just more waiting for things to come in the mail.
Working on finding out if the seal on our police clearance is sufficient or do I need to drag a notary in with me to notarize the officers signature? (It's got to be okay right? I mean really!)
Still need to pick up 2 certified marriage certificates at Health and Vital statistics.
But all in all I feel like I'm making headway. Hallelujah!

What I am learning...

I am discovering more about myself as I go through this adoption process than I ever wanted to know. I already knew I was impatient, rash and jumped into things with both feet. I also knew I am a bit of a sentimentalist and probably read more into a situation than there is but what I didn't know (or at least now I surely know) is:
#1 I hate owing people. I don't mind being the one giving service, favors or what not BUT I hate asking people to do the same for me. I feel like I'm pulling ever favor in the book. Like sugar coating all my request to my accountant, employers, doctors, to fill out yet more papers only this time "Could you please have them notarized?" Favors from my professional friends, "So do you think you can notarize all these papers, some which don't even require signatures? I'm not sure why you would be notarizing them but..." Or "Could you help me figure out how to get documents appostilled in Louisiana?" to the human resource girl at my husbands work-who has never met me and probably never will. Or how about the translators. "Could you help me make a call at seven in the morning?" or "Could you translate this letter?" I just don't like it. And I haven't even started pulling favors for my 30-40 day trip to Ukraine.

#2 I hate feeling helpless and powerless. In my day to day workings, I deal with contracts and paper work and I handle them with ease and confidence. In this situation I am a fish out of water. What the heck is appostille? What is the difference in certified and notarized? You want documentation that I own a home? How hard can that be? County tax information is insufficient? I need to get a statement from the assessor stating how big, how many bedrooms, etc? Cut to phone call to assessors office: "We have no idea what you're talking about." I know I am not the first person in the county to adopt from the Ukraine. How can this be so difficult. Then my i171H form (that I waited for 10 days for) doesn't have the correct wording and information that it is being forwarded to Ukraine. So, another email to them with regards to this. Who knows when this document will show up with the correct information? And my tax guy-who recently suffered a major motorcycle accident-has not returned my calls for weeks. I have to have him make a statement and notarize it as to my self employment status. I have no control! And I hate it!!
But on a kinder note....

#3 I didn't know we would feel so connected to a little person thousands of miles away. It's as if part of my heart got on that airplane with him. I think about him constantly. Is he warm? Is he safe? Or while Christmas shopping things jump out at me that Lex would love (It's easy to shop for a child that has nothing.). And my children do the same thing. "Lex would like this. Remember when he did this? Why can't Santa bring Alexey for Christmas? He could stop at the Ukraine on his way to our house." And my bananas are turning brown. No one is eating them....

#4 I need to vent. Be it on this blog or on the phone with my new found friends/mothers also going through this or with my friends and family. I talk about this ALL THE TIME. So let this be my formal apology to all who are tired of me turning every conversation back to my adoption process. I am sorry, I'll probably keep doing it until my boy is safe at home but know that as the words spew from my mouth that I feel for you. It's got to be taxing to listen to me!
I'm sure I have much more to learn about myself as I travel this road. Thanks to all for you comments, emails, phone calls and concern. Keep 'em coming....I'm going to need 'em.

Angels & Demons

Angels

Miracles happen in all shapes and sizes. The latest in a string of small miracles happened this week. And it's a pretty big miracle, if you ask me.
We needed to refinance our house and as you all know I'm in the business of selling houses which always (for the most part) involves getting a loan. So I felt like I sort of knew what I was doing and I certainly have connections (as I work with the most fabulous loan officer - if you need a referral - email me!) I knew I needed to refinance some time soon because my second has a balloon and a substantially higher interest rate than current rates but my dilemma was that our first was locked at rate lower than current rates. My goal was to refinance the minute I could get a rate lower or-worse case-equal to the current rate of our first.
I've been waiting for a few months. I sat down and re-worked our family budget and I knew right where my payment needed to be to make our budget work every month. And the rates just wouldn't drop. I was beginning to doubt my well laid plan and then it happened...
Today I locked in at a rate so low that I was able to keep my payment right where I wanted it and get more than half the money we need for this adoption! My original plans didn't involve any money for the adoption-just a lower house payment without a balloon. See, it is a miracle! I owe a lot to the loan officers involved who spend countless hours figuring, and re-figuring and calling and calculating, and pulling strings.

Demons

It came today, the list of documents needed for the Ukraine government. I've decided that I'm just going to have to approach it like this:
ONE DAY AT A TIME
ONE DOCUMENT AT A TIME
Because when I read the list, I get a sinking feeling of despair. Seriously, some of the things they're asking for, I have no idea how to gather. Perhaps it's not the gathering part as much as the notarized and appostilled part that throws me for a tail spin.
Here is just the list of items just on the medical statement that not only have to be filled out with diagnosis, "international codes" (who knew?), stamped by the clinic, signed by the doctor with her license, signed by the chief AND notarized and appostilled.

Dermatovenerology: Skin & sexually transmitted diseases

Psychiatry: Psychological & Mental diseases

Phthisiology: Lungs diseases & TB

General physician examination:

Narcology: Drugs, alcohol or other substances abuse

Reaction of Wassermann (syphilis)

HIV-Infection (Law compliance)

Appostilled you may ask? What is that? I'm not exactly sure (and apparently neither is the spell check program I'm using). I think it's when you take the notarized documents up to the capital for some sort of authentication that the notary you used is current and used the right stamp and signed your papers right? Not sure how the state of Utah will be appostilling for a notary in Louisiana when we get documents from James employer but that is for another day. Tomorrow, I'm heading to Health and Vital statistics for 2 certified copies of our marriage certificate that- you know it-will eventually have that to be appostilled.

A Day Of Firsts....

Not only a phone call but a letter? What a fabulous day!
I wanted to let you all read it so I scanned it and here it is....

Nice writing huh? I know he really worked hard on this. I'm having it translated and will report back on what it says. If it says wacky things like "I hate your cooking." I won't take it too personal as I'm sure he means something entirely different!

I just got it translated. (Thanks again Jordan!)

Dear Mama, Dad, Kambree, Austin, Devree & Rylee,
I wish you health and good feelings. It’s not enough without you (I miss you). I miss you, so every free minute I look at the photographs [of us]. I want to tell you that I used the five dollars to buy a big bag of chips on the plane. All of my other things that you gave me, I brought home with great satisfaction. I am grateful to you for everything. I want to you (I want to go to you). Everything is good with me. I’m not sick. I study, play, and talk with my classmates. On Sunday, November 16, we went to the Drama Theater and saw the play "Brelyski musicians”! It was a very good play.

I love you.

To you,
Oleksiy

**Later we found out that this letter was transcribed by a teacher - this is NOT Alex's handwriting. 

First Phone Call

I spoke with Lex this morning!

Thank goodness for three way calling, I got Jordan (my translator-THANKS SO MUCH JORDAN) on the line then on the other line dialed a bazillion numbers and got the orphanage, the director, Naydia answered and told us to call back in 5 minutes and she would go get Alexey.
I called back and there he was! He sounds so small on the phone.
He spoke with all the kids before they had to leave for school and Rylee even let him talk to Ella (our dog) he told them all he loved them.
He kept saying "mama" and then nothing. Like he couldn't believe it was me, that I had called.
We talked about his brother, did he know he was going to come live with us? Was he okay with it? It sounds like he hasn't spoken with his brother (this mysterious brother that is not in his formal records and is apparently 25 years old) but that his brother would be fine with him coming to America.
I asked about his school work and he said he was studying math and language - Ukrainian language and to keep writing in Ukrainian not Russian.
I asked if he still wanted to come live with us and he said, "da".
He asked if I was coming to get him. I said yes. He asked when? I had Jordan explain that our American paper work was done and that we were starting on the Ukrainian part and that it would still be a few months and I could feel his disappointment in the silence that followed.
He asked me to send more cars in his next package. I sensed the package was very well received. Obviously he did not wait to open it until the 25th!
I explained that I would call again when Dad was home and then we got disconnected, so we didn't get to say goodbye.
Besides the word "mama" I recognized one other word "da doma"-he wants to go home.

Homemade Chocolates!

Last night my mom called wanting to borrow 2 bags of powdered sugar. I asked her what she was making and she said, chocolates. I asked who was at her house (because I could hear quite a ruckus in the background) and she said, oh, Grandma, Debbie, Jenny, Kammy & her kids. Oh, okay.

Then when I got off the phone I jokingly told my children that Grandma was having a party and didn't invite us. Rylee immediately got on the phone and said. "Grandma why didn't you invite us to your party? Don't you love us anymore?" My mom laughed and said come on down. (My parents seriously lives 3 doors down from us!)
So we decided to play a prank and go scare them. This is us in our scary masks.



We jogged down the street and crept up the back of the house (my mom and dad have a horrible watch dog that would just as soon lick us to death over defending their property, but she must have been sleeping because we didn't even run into her) and banged on the windows and french door but they didn't even jump. So much for our revenge! Then we went in and helped dip chocolates. Or at least ate a few.

Mom & her grand babies

Brach & Austin-dipping

Grandma Lee

Aunt Deb who just had her foot operated on.

Cousin Jen

My sister was sewing. (She gets this talent from my mom. A talent that skipped me in every regard!)



And my Dad was just watching TV.


And Rylee, Tyler and Sydni.


I on the other hand, took pictures and told them they would all be famous now on the world wide web!

Blessings...

"An ordinary night with ordinary sheep and ordinary shepherds.
And were it not for a God who loves to hook
an "extra" on the front of the ordinary,
the night would have gone unnoticed.
The sheep would have been forgotten,
and the shepherds would have slept the night away.
But God dances amidst the common.
And that night He did a waltz."
~Max Lucedo

Christmas is a time to dance! Especially at our house. This weekend was the kick off. Rylee and Devree performed at Festival of Trees last night.

And my Kambree has been dancing her buns off with Murray High Dance Company all week.

She has rehearsal from 7am to 6pm today. We had a mother/daughter Christmas luncheon this afternoon. The girls arrived hungry and tired and it was nice to refuel their bodies and spirits and hear Kambree say "Okay, I'm ready to dance some more-let's go!"


Just in case anyone is need of "dancing" some Christmas spirit into their lives. Here is our performance schedule:
(Call or email me for location, time and ticket info.)
Dev & Ry dancing with Guyz-n-Dollz December 8th
Kambree with MDC December 11th & 12th
Rylee with Murray Community December 13th
Add two choir concerts for Austin and one for Devree, a nursing home performance for Dev & Ry, me heading up a RS dinner for 50, start of basketball practice for Austin and Devree, a real estate transaction or (hopefully) two and my frantic attempt to gather documents to complete an international adoption and you pretty much have my December!
Often times during this time of year, while I'm trying to feed girls dinner in the car while running them to dance class, make business calls sitting in my car waiting to pick them up, running all over town looking for "jazzy tan tights", Christmas shopping, making (or often times buying) treats for this or that party or class, baking, decorating, and taking ibuprofen on a regular bases, I ask myself, "Why?". I mean, this running around is crazy! "What were you thinking when you signed these girls up for all these classes? And basketball? You know that adds 2 practices as well as two games a week. What were you thinking?"
The I take a deep breath, and pause and remember....
I am blessed.
I am blessed to have healthy and happy children that love to sing, dance and play sports and that they have the mental and physical ability to do so is a blessing I often times take for granite.
While I'm at it, let me share further:
I am blessed that I have my own car and the means to fill it with gas. Heated seats and a working heater are an added blessing! (I remember this often when I see people waiting at the bus stop out in the cold or walking home with groceries.) A bonus blessing is the laughter and talking on the way there or back and the solitude and peace on the opposite drive.
I am blessed to have a healthy & strong husband that is tough as nails and works away from us for two weeks straight in the bitter Wyoming cold. (It's because of him I have the means to fill up my car and do all that shopping.)
I am blessed to have a cell phone and compute, to be able to work from my home (or car). And great clients, friends and family that continually refer me to more great clients.I am blessed to have my own healthy body with working parts (for the most part) and a semblance of mental strength to remember who is suppose to be where, when and what they're suppose to bring AND the ability to do this as a single parent half the time.
I am blessed to have a warm, sturdy home with a brand, spanking new kitchen with plenty of room to practice pirouettes and split leaps and a wrestling or boxing match or two.
I am blessed to decorate a tree with ornaments from each year of our families life together, put out my Christmas nick-knacks made by friends over the years, and squeeze in Chinese take-out while watching "A Christmas Story" when we can find one night during the month when we're all home together. I am blessed to have found one little boy who is half way around the world but lives in my heart and will someday soon in our home as well.
I am blessed to have a fridge full of food to fuel these healthy bodies, and the ability to eat out or run to the store when the fridge has less than desirable offerings.
I am blessed to have friends and family that support and love and cover for me when I cannot be in two places at one time.
I am blessed to live so close to my mom and sister and to love my niece and nephews like my own children.
I am blessed with great women in my life (personal and professional) that listen to me rant and rave, read my blog, scrapbook, exercise, shop, lunch, travel, and share their lives with me.
I am blessed to have all my needs fulfilled-and plenty of my wants.
I am blessed to give and receive love daily.I am blessed to know the real reason for Christmas. That Christ was born, that He lived, that He died and that He lives again.
I am so blessed.

More great news!

Yes, I'm blogging again today! But it's been a remarkable day, what with my dream and now with information from the adoption agency. Here's what the adoption coordinator emailed me today:

"All kids confirmed to the orphanage director that they want to come and live with their families in US and our facilitator has supplied them all with postage and envelopes."Hurray! He hasn't changed his mind (although, I knew that after my dream this morning), he now has postage and even better, I now have a phone number and time to call. I've already bought my international calling card, now I'm just waiting to hear back from a translator. (This language thing is a pain, it's weird to have your words translated and then his words translated back to you but I'm so excited to hear his voice!) It's also a weird time to call-between 7 and 9 in the morning. We're nine hours behind, but I'll be ready!

A Tender Mercy.....

I have had a lot of anxiety lately. My boy, Lex has been gone a month today and we've had no communication. In this day and age, it's hard to imagine but it's true. No emails, no texts, no phone calls not even a letter or postcard. Nor have I heard much from the adoption agency. (Remember, they were going to have their contact talk with Lex and tell him to write me?) Haven't heard a thing.
So last night, I had a dream. I was in the Ukraine meeting Lex at the orphanage. He came out with flowers (of all things) and I just knelt down and wrapped my arms around him crushing the flowers between us and wept. Not a sweet, tender cry with a tear or two of joy cascading down my check, no, an out right wail with sobs and hiccups and I couldn't catch my breath. And Lex wept too and we were both shaking and hugged and hugged. I was crying so loudly in my dream I woke up. I thought I might have been crying out and woke myself up. (But, I'll never know that for a fact because James sleeps like the dead and he laid there undisturbed.) But as I laid there in the dark, wide awake, I could still feel the joy I felt and more importantly the joy I felt from Lex. Call me crazy but I think I've finally had the communication I've been looking for.

We're approved!

I went into immigration today to straighten out the misspelling on our last names and they told me they had our fingerprints back and we were cleared and approved! We went in one week ago today. We were fingerprinted on Wednesday and despite the holiday weekend, we're approved today! I'm going to chalk this up to a "mini" miracle.

I was looking over the time frame from our adoption agency paperwork and it said a month+ for the home study then, once the home study is complete 2-4 weeks for immigration approval. So we're a little ahead of schedule considering Lex left a month ago this Wednesday.

Just had to blog my "mini" miracle!

I sent off my Monday letter to Lex. (I sometimes write more than once a week but I only mail out once a week!) And I also sent a letter to his director, Naydia. I figured it couldn't hurt. I mean good grief! It's been almost a month. What if he's not getting any of my wacky letters? (That could be a good thing-considering my translation problems!) What if he thinks we're not coming? What if he has changed his mind and doesn't want to come? (It could happen...I'm following a blog right now where one of the two children don't really want to come and the parents are in the Ukraine right now!) I gave her my email, address and phone and asked her for the best phone number and time to call. I'll keep you all posted if I hear anything.