Friday Entertainment....

It's Friday night, James is gone, Austin is having friends over to watch an "Avatar" marathon, Alex & Ry are sequestered to my room to watch one of the many "Avatar" DVD's in the series with strict instructions to not bother Austin and his friends, Kambree is working and Devree is retiring to bed to think about being nicer to Rylee.

And what am I doing? I was working. Searching for properties for my clients tomorrow, emailing clients, arranging showings, pulling comps but I'm done now so I turn to my own form of entertainment, blogging.
I've read everyone's new entries today-except for those of you who only make sporadic or maybe bi-monthly entries-and so now I'm left to make my own entry.
Hum...what to write about....
Oh, how about Devree's cake fight? Her choir class participates in a program called Habitat for Harmony (or something like that) and they have developed a relationship with a school in Indonesia. As you know-unless you live under a rock or don't have television service-wait! I don't have television service-oh, yeah, this happened before we gave up our TV drug-Indonesia had a terrible earthquake. Their friends all survived but their school was badly damaged. This amazing choir teacher of Devree's and her students have sold donuts and hot chocolate, had a benefit concert, and silent auction and in a months time (?) raise over $10,000!! That was their goal and if they made it then the teacher promised them a cake fight with her.
Thursday was the cake fight. The kids had to bring their own ammunition-I mean cake, and right after school they roped off an area outside and pelted each other with cake. I think it may have even been on the news, (but I wouldn't know) but I do know that Devree came home looking like this:

And just to get a better idea, how about this close up?

Yep, that's cake smeared in her hair, stuck in her ears, and dripping on the floor. Now all nmy children want to have a cake fight for their birthday party. Um...hum....let me think about it....how about....NO WAY!
Oh, and Kambree's Hazen pictures came back. Be prepared to be awed....

She's on the front row, third from the left.
I will have to scan her head shots and post them too but my scanner is being weird.
Kambree is going to MAG tomorrow. (Murray's girls choice dance.)
She had a rough day yesterday. Every so often Kambree's time of the month-or just before it-knocks her to her knees. She gets sick, sweaty, almost faints and has terrible pain. We've talked to her doctor and she can only suggest starting the pain reliever early and staying on top of the pain. Well, yesterday it happened during some career day movie where she was watching some gross dissection of something. (I think an eyeball?) Anyway, she called me to come get her. Which means she's really bad off if she can't drive. So I did. She was so upset. She was sure she was queasy because of the movie and you could see that her life plans were passing before her eyes. She plans on going into medicine and has never been the queasy type. She was so very upset. Now, I am the queasy type not the faint or barf type but the grimace and look away type. Since she still felt sick I assured her it was her regular sick thing and that she didn't need to change her career and life plans. We medicated her and I took her to get a drink. Then we went grocery shopping, grabbed Vietnamese soup (our fav) for lunch and took naps. I drove her back to school for dance. (You cannot miss dance without a doctor's note!) It was so nice to spend time with her. She's so very busy that rarely do we have just a day to ourselves.
Last night she applied to college. Oh, my baby.... it was just yesterday she ran around singing
"I like it, I love it, I want some more oven" and pretending that she and Austin were dogs. She never played babies or house. She always played she was a dog. She and her crazy friends would make movies, run baby sitting clinics, carnivals and spook alleys. She has always had such a soft spot for animals. One day she collected a bunch of snails in a container that I refused to let her have in the house. By morning they had all slimmed themselves away and she was so upset that her "pets" were gone. Once while camping with friends we let the kids catch a bunch of crawdads. After we tucked the kids in, we boiled them and ate them with butter. Kambree got up in the morning and upon hearing we ate them started crying. "Mom & Dad you ate my FRIENDS!"
And now my country singing, dog playing, snail loving, baby is going off to college! Oh, this parenting thing just gets harder and harder. No one tells you about this stuff.
Wednesday night Alex was on a roll telling us Ukraine stories. He told us how when he was eight he would scavenge for metal and steel to take to the recyclers. He told me how he found a oven and would break off pieces and put it in his backpack. It was very far away from the orphanage so he ran as fast as he could (because he only had small window of time between dinner and bed) to where he found this oven and broke it apart and stuffed it in his backpack. Then someone offered him a ride back. Someone? Just anyone? I'm pretty sure that's the case but he told me he knew him. He said one time someone tried to take his scraps and he hit him with a piece of metal in the mouth and ran away. He was eight years old at the time. He had saved $300 grynva's (About $37 dollars) and had plans to buy a cool cell phone but he had a hole in his backpack and lost it. (He is obsessed with phones. He shows me phone ads each and every Sunday in the paper. "Mom only $29!" or "This one free!"I've tried about twenty times to explain what a contract is and that price only applies to signing up fora two year contract. He's just not getting it.)
Then he told me about living in the orphanage and how there were 17 people in his room. Rylee couldn't believe it. Her concern was what if you all farted at the same time? Alex laughed and said that they would wait until the could hear the night "babysitter" coming in to check on them and then count to three and all fart at the same time. He and Rylee laughed and laughed. Um...yuck?
Then I asked if many kids peed the bed? (I had heard that was a problem with institutionalized kids and was curious.) Yes, and pooped he said. Eww...gross. He told me about one boy next to him that would poop his bed all the time. I asked how Alex could stand it, didn't it smell bad? Alex told me had a special mask he would wear. Then he said with this mischievous grin:
"Mom you adopt poop guy-you have to buy diapers!"
I know that will not come across as funny but trust me, if you had seen his face and heard his little voice telling me about "poop guy" you would have bust a gut too!
On that note I told everyone it was time for bed but Alex wanted to tell me his "plans". Your plans? For the future? Yep.
Okay, in bed, teeth brush and 5 minutes of plan talking. Austin had to sit in on this one.
First off, Alex is going to get a girlfriend when he gets big. Here's his words:
"I go-en work, she walking, I say 'You be my girlfriend?' her says yes."
That's pretty simple isn't it? Chances are it will work too.
Then he told me how he will get married, have children and all his children will have TWO computers in their room, and get $10 a week. He will paint the boys rooms with flames and the DARE sign (He apparently likes the anti drug program DARE?) and if his kids are bad they will have to give him money back. He has it all worked out. Great plans. At least I can see grandchildren in my future...
Rylee and I attended a mother daughter achievement day program last night. We made hair bows and had yummy refreshments.


Austin's "Avatar" marathon is in full swing. Rylee and Hayden (Austin's friend) attempted to make cake mix cookies for the party but used two brownie mixes instead of cake mixes. I ended up scraping them into a 9x13 and baking them like brownies. I think they're calling my name so I guess I'll wrap this up.
James, if you're reading this, I miss you! Thanks for working so hard for us. See you Wednesday.

Alex's Braces....

Last Wednesday Alex got his spacers put in for his braces. He's been excited and scared. That night while reading his voice got really quiet and whimper-y. I was holding him on my lap and he was leaning his back against my chest so I couldn't see his face. I asked him, "Alex are you crying?" "Yes, my teeffs hurt." Oh, that hurt my heart. (Spacers are almost the worse part of braces in my opinion-which should count for a lot since I've had braces on THREE times!)
I gave him Ibuprofen and told him it would get better.
And it did.
The night before getting his braces on we had a tickle and cover-Alex's-cheeks-and-forehead-with-kisses-fight. During our little wrestling match I told him he needed to take a good bath tonight because he'll want to smell good for the all the cute orthodontist techs tomorrow. Then I was pretending to be them smelling him and tickling and kissing him. He told me through giggles and chortles, "Mom, they no kiss me!"
I told them you never know!?
The next morning he was so very nervous. He told me his "tummy hurt-en". Of course he's nervous, Devree and Rylee had been telling him horror stories about getting braces on. Devree reminded me - in front of him - about how loud Rylee screamed when getting her appliance on. Which is true she screamed like a banshee. (Bands on baby teeth are very painful!) I jokingly told Alex I was going to leave if he screamed like that.
On the way to the orthodontist I tried to buoy Alex up, I told him that if Devree and Rylee can do this, he can. He is much tougher than they are and if he cries, it's okay. I won't leave. I will stay right by him. (He asked repeatedly on the days leading up to his banding if I would stay with him.)

So here he is in the chair....

First off they had to brush his teeth good and one of the first things the tech did was have him "kiss" the suction thing. I told Alex "See I told you they'd kiss you." He smiled.
Here he is after the back bands and getting prepped for the brackets He thought this picture looked especially cool because his mouth looks so huge!

During the banding - the next worse part of braces - I could tell when he hurt because he'd reach out and grab for my hand. Then later let go, then grab again when it hurt again. Once we got to the bracket part he didn't need to hold my hand anymore.
Whenever they'd get to a part where he could close his mouth or talk, he'd just pelt the tech with questions. He wanted to know what each tool was for, what each part did. He was not shy and he just asked question after question. Good thing a lot of the time he couldn't talk.
Of course ALL the techs thought he was absolutely darling. (Uh...which he is!) And he really was very brave.
Two hours later, here he is!

He got to choose colored bands for his braces and he choose white and made me chose the second color. I choose red because I know it's his favorite color and its Christmasy.
On the way home we stopped at McDonald's for a hamburger and shake on his way back to school and before the soreness sets in. (And to get that terrible glue taste out of his mouth!) I told him how awesome he did and he told me:
"I no cry mom so you no leave-a me."
Yep, that hurt my heart too. I would never leave. Apparently my joke about leaving really stuck? Despite my pep talk on the way there and my assurance that I wouldn't leave? I don't know. Someday this child we realize that I am here to stay. Right?
Anyway, he's been a trooper. He's pretty proud of his braces. I've made lots of soft foods and packed him soup, applesauce and jello on his lunches.
This morning he went to get the "jello" for me to do his hair.
Me: Uh...Alex, do you mean gel?
Alex: Oh, yes!
Me: Good, cause jello in the hair would be really sticky wouldn't it?
And we laughed...

Week in Reveiw

You know it's busy when I haven't blogged for a week!

(I have checked in on my bloggy friends each day but just haven't had a minute to write my thoughts, or transfer my pictures.)
So here's quick "highlights" of the week.
On Thursday I went to Rylee's observation at dance.

Alex got his Webelos designation in pack meeting as well as three more pins.


Austin started the season of Church ball.

Alex got his braces on-although you cannot tell it in this picture.

Last night was cooking group at our house!


And this morning Amy called and told me to look outside at the cool sunrise.
This picture doesn't do it justice but like Amy says "It looks like Heavenly Father just took his finger and finger painted the clouds."
It was beautiful.

Besides these highlights, I showed houses a ton, wrote two offers-hopefully one will stick, went to project group, had lunch with friends, had Ry home with a tummy ache, made salt dough and found poster board for Alex's science project, made dinner SEVEN times, took a continuing ed class, did 12 loads of laundry, got kids to parties, plays, concerts, games, and dance classes. Made cookies with Alex and had cousins over for a late over. Went Christmas shopping with my sis and with the help of my ward girlfriends made 64 favors for the upcoming Relief Society Christmas social.
Whew, this week it's not looking any quieter but "better busy than boring".
However, for the record, if life would slow down just a tiny bit, I wouldn't complain!

More Alexism's....

Me: Alex what are you doing for quiet time tonight?
(Quiet time is the time after his bath at eight until nine o'clock when its lights out.)
Alex: Watch-en a book.
M: Do you mean reading a book?
Alex: No Mom, I watch-en a book.
I walked in to see him sitting cross legged on the middle of his bed with his elbows on his knees and hands on his cheeks LOOKING at a book. Yes, I guess that would also be considered watching a book.

Alex got his braces on yesterday-which I will devote an entire post to later-the orthadontist assistant told him how important it was to brush every time he eats and showed him gross pictures of people that didn't brush well. He has really taken this advice to heart. But he doesn't say toothbrush, he says zoothbrush. So after every meal or snack he announces "I go zoothbrush my teeth."

This morning I asked how his teeth were feeling and he told me they were "jump-en". What he means is throbbing-if you've ever had braces you know what I'm talking about. He has also quickly learned the word Ibuprofen.

The other day Alex was sharing that he loves to drink root beer.
Alex: Ukraine have root beer.
Me: Really, what is it called?
Alex: Um...let me think...
Big pause then he proudly announces:
Alex: Veenigar Beer
Me: Vinegar Beer?
Alex: Yes.
Me: Um, Alex those are both English words.
Alex: (Moans) Oh, never mind I no remember.

It breaks my heart to see him losing his language so fast. I try to get him together with other Ukraine speakers but he doesn't talk much with them-they are all girls and he is a that age where girls aren't that cool. We try to always ask him how to say things so we can learn a few words but most the time he just can't remember. He can remember salt but not pepper. ANd when he can't remember he either gets frustrated or just announces. "I no know. I American boy now." Which is endearing but still makes me sad.
He claims he can understand the Russians on "Hero's". (Since we don't have television service my kids have taken to watching television series on DVD and "Hero's" is their current favorite.) He says he can understand but he can't tell them what they're saying. Of course what they're saying is in captions on the TV so it's not like he's the only one that can understand.
I don't know what else to do. We were hoping Austin could take Russian in school and practice with him but it's not offered in our district. So I have Devree learning Spanish, Austin learning German , Alex learning English and quickly forgetting his Russian. We are so multicultural around here!

Austin & Alex

While driving to the orthodontist this afternoon we were all discussing the excellent brownies that Austin (with my help) made last night for family night. Devree and I were talking about why they were better than normal and Austin took all the credit for their greatness-but sincerely it was the homemade fudge frosting.
Then Dev and I were talking about the mint brownies we had at Super Saturday and how I need to get that recipe. However I commented on the reason they were so good was because they have so much butter in them then Austin piped in with:
Oh well, we have all eternity to be perfect.
Me: What? So like, its okay to be fat while here on earth?
Austin: Sure, this life is just a speck of time in all eternity-who care's if you're fat? I don't. I'd rather eat good brownies.
That's my Austin. Who by the way is not fat, but may be so in the near future with that attitude.
Last night Alex and I attempted to work on him learning the scout oath. Oh my. Tears and frustration.
Alex: I can't. Too many words.
Me: Sure you can, remember your primary talk? You did that and it's not like you have to memorize it all in one night. You have two months. You are so smart. I know you can do it.
Alex just cries, so much that he can't read it through his tears. Oh goodness. We put it away.
Then this afternoon Alex comes in and recites the first two lines. Memorized.
Oh my honor I will do my duty....
And he's still working on it as I type this blog.
James has left. Three weeks. Boo. I know we are blessed to have work and for that I really am grateful. I guess if I didn't like him so much it would be easier but I do like him. We all do.
Today is Veteran's Day. I am so grateful to live in this great country and for the men and women that fight for our freedom. Alex's lucky listener this week is on the immigration process and how you have to apply for a visa with the American Embassy. I reminded him of our experience in the American Embassy and all the Ukraine people standing in line just hoping to apply for a visa and how we went to the front of the line and got right in. Within two hours we had his passport and once he hit American airspace, he was automatically a citizen of this great nation. Not only did he get a family, he got a new country. So many people would give anything for that opportunity.
While at the orthadontist Alex got his spacers in for preparation for his braces next week. He was pretty brave. He asked if it was okay to jump on the trampoline with his spacers in. (Like they would bounce out or something?) Yes, Alex. You can jump on the trampoline. The othadontist tech told him no sticky candy and as we hit McDonald's-after our appointment because Austin argues that we MUST eat something before everyone's teeth get too sore later-Alex asked me if a cheeseburger was sticky? No, Alex. A cheeseburger is not sticky. I tried to explain sticky-like Laffy Taffy-to which he replies "Oh..." like he really gets what I'm talking about but since I already explained sticky at the orthodontist office in similar terms I'm betting he's just making his "I'm acting like I understand when really I'm just making the sound that makes you think I understand when truly I don't have a clue what you are talking about." Something he does very well to not only me but his teacher at school. Oh well.
He's been very apprehensive about his upcoming braces and I know next week will be a bit traumatic but this afternoon he came in and threw his arms around my neck. "My getting braces next week. I have straight teeth!" Yes, Alex you will have straight teeth.
Well, I think I'll go warm up James yummy soup for dinner. Since everyone had McDonalds earlier and I'm betting their teeth are getting sore by now. Ahh....braces! I would feel sorry for them but I had three sets, every appliances under the sun and oral surgery. So I know the drill and I'm sympathetic to their discomfort but they'll live. I did!

Blogs, Guilt & Wishes....

I love blog land. I follow not only Ukraine adoption blogs but just fun blogs of my friends and families life and some perfectly entertaining strangers. In fact following their blogs makes me feel so much more apart of their lives-my family & friends that is. (I sort of feel like a stalker on the blogs I follow anonymously. And, yes this would be direct hint to my friends and family that follow this blog and don't blog themselves or update very often....yes,I mean you!!)
Some blogs make me think, laugh, get perspective, remind me how blessed I am, etc.
But sometimes they make me feel bad. Like the blogs that make talk about how they eat only organic vegan diets, make every cutesy craft under the sun, run triathlons and marathons on a weekly bases, have perfect children with perfect grades, and husbands that never fart or snore, run the PTA, home school, serve in congress, visit shut ins, write a fabulous blog and are just all around PERFECT! Blech! I usually don't put these bloggers on my dashboard.
I like real life. Not fairy tales and certainly not guilt!!
But a blog today made me feel bad. Not in a way I can possibly do anything about or improve myself on. And I'm sure she didn't mean to make anyone feel bad-like some of those "perfect" bloggers that just love to tell you how wonderful their lives are- she was talking about all her sisters and sister in laws and everyone having babies at the same time and it made me sad. Dumb huh? Well let me explain, I have one precious sister-whom I love dearly. No sister in laws on my side and my sister in laws on my husbands side live far away or are just somewhat distant. (Not that they probably mean to be-they're just so busy with their side of the family and all their sisters.)
My sister and I are eight years apart. Making my youngest child a year younger than her oldest child so we overlap-but barely.
My oldest three were the only grandchildren in my family for seven years. No cousin's their age-and cousins close to their age on the other side lived out of state most of the time.
I long for MORE sisters! Is that crazy? Wouldn't it be fun to get together and have oodles of children, someone for everyone? Scrapbook and go to lunch and exchange play dates with? That if one sister can't go shopping another could? That when planning big dinners for the family it's not just three women trying to feed a crowd (me, my mom & my sis) but like 6 or 7?
I know, I know. Many people don't have ANY sisters or sibling for that matter. But I can still long for more sisters right? Brothers-I have. Three of them. Three very eligible, SINGLE brothers. I still have glimmers of hope that they will marry and the women they marry will bring baggage similar in age to my children but as time goes on, that hope dims until it's just a fleck of light without much substance, warmth or possibility.
On the other hand, it could be worse. I could have NO sisters. I could have psycho sisters/sister in laws that are c0-dependent, bi-polar, borrow things and never return them, need me to babysit ALL THE TIME, pay their mortgage or move in with me. I could have sisters/sister in laws that hate me, my children, my husband or dog. (Hum, not sure my real sister likes my dog too much?) They could have terrible children that destroy my house, hurt my kids, eat everything and or steal from us. (See where I'm going with this?)
I often tell neighbors of my sellers-and sometimes my sellers themselves- when they approach me with "I hope you find a good family for this/our house." or "Don't let any (insert an ethnicity right here) move into our neighborhood!" That you should be careful what you wish for. I would take a quiet ethnic, lesbian couple that keeps to themselves, keeps the yard up and parks their cars in the garage any day to a family that keeps old junkers in their yard up on blocks, can't park in the garage due to the crap they're storing in there, doesn't mow or weed or rake their leaves-or just blows them into your yard- never takes down their Christmas lights, has loud gangster looking teens coming and going at all hours of the night and speeding down the street. Yes I would. Regardless if this said "good" family goes to CHURCH every week! Good grief.
So Wendy, (This is my pep talk to myself here-everyone else can stop reading) stop whining about your lack of sisters and nieces and nephews. The one's you have are pretty great and you love them and they love you. That's what counts! Be careful....it could be worse!

Baby Pictures....

Alex noticed his baby picture on the wall last night. He just beamed. We were reading "The Mouse and His Motorcycle". (I'm reading it out loud to him and Rylee. I was feeling badly that I don't do the things with my youngest two like I did with my oldest three so I decided we would start reading together before bedtime. Rylee loves it, Alex say's its boo-ring.) He looked over and saw his picture hanging on the wall with my other babies. Me! He proclaimed. Of course I said, you're one of my babies too right? Yes he says. He snuggled next to me and laid his head on my shoulder. Little does he know there is another picture of him as a baby sitting on the dining room hutch along with other family pictures. I wonder when he'll discover it.
I also printed up a picture of him and Ivan and put it in a frame in his room. He sits it on his dresser right by the edge and facing his bed. I'm afraid it will fall off and hit him on the head but each time I move it over into the center of the dresser he moves it back. (I put it in the Power Ranger frame he bought for me in Ukraine with Jeff Rast and his girls. Alex couldn't remember buying it. It's yellow with the yellow power ranger. I remember it well as I wasn't sure what to do with it. Now it has a home on Alex's dresser!)
On Sunday Rylee sat where Alex wanted to sit at the dinner table. He told her that was his seat. No, she said. I sat here first. (The seat of envy is the seat by me. I have no idea why as James is by far the more fun and favorite parent.) James asked Alex to say the dinner prayer and in his prayer Alex prayed that it was okay that Rylee took his seat or something about Rylee taking his seat. He talks so fast during prayers that it's hard to catch exactly what he's saying. But it was defiantly about Rylee and the coveted seat.
Speaking of prayers, last week Alex bore his testimony in church. It was simple and sweet. Something tot his effect.
I give you my words.
I thankful for family.
Please bless my family.
I am happy to be baptized.
In the name.....
I was slightly surprised he got up in front of everyone. Rylee was up before him and he was trying to talk to me while she was crying through her testimony. (Rylee is so tender that she gets up and just sobs.) I told Alex to shush, I was trying to listen to Rylee. So then he got up.
It was very cute as a much smaller little girl stood before him and he stood up and adjusted the microphone for her, looked at me and shrugged with such a nonchalant attitude and then sat back down to wait his turn.
In primary he's been asked to teach the children a few words of Ukraine for a song they are learning. Oh my. He must not write in Ukraine well? I had to translate each word on the computer and then his eyes would well up with tears as he would try to write it down and say it. It's hard to think he could lose his language so fast. I think he still understands but just can't find the words to say. I'll ask him certain words and he'll just draw a blank and say, "I don't remember." Then in a few seconds it might come to him. Sometimes it doesn't. I was worried about this primary song but once we got it written down AND I printed off a Ukraine alphabet for him to refer to he seemed to be okay and said it went well on Sunday. I meant to sneak in and be there just in case he got frustrated but lost track of time-besides that might have made him even more uncomfortable.
Alex's scout leader emailed me about Alex getting his religion merit badge and all the many things he needs to still do. I emailed back that he's taken all the missionary discussions, gotten baptized, spoke in the primary program and bore his testimony. (I should have mentioned the song too!) The scout leader agreed that he has filled the spirit of the requirements and will be getting his badge at pack meeting this week. Hurray for me saying something! This scout thing is hard for me. I barely got Austin through it thinking I would never go through this again and WHAM-here I am again!
Last night after I tucked Alex in and inspected his teeth-he doesn't like to brush and often times does a terrible job-James went in to say goodnight and guess who was sucking on a sucker in the dark at ten pm? Yep, X-man! So no treats today. While walking with Amy this morning I was telling her about the sucker (I'm referring to the candy here, not Alex) and she told me Maren-her three year old is doing the same thing. It's amazing the similarity's in Alex's personality and her three year old's!
Kambree has decided that Utah State is where she wants to go. Now it's time to fill out scholarship applications. She's hoping to secure a job here that she can transfer up there. Like at Olive Garden. I get a melancholy feeling thinking of her moving out. I know she's ready but am I? I feel way to young to have a college bound child. I just wish we could all stay these ages for a few years and live together longer. I remember so well being her age and the desire to be on my own, why do I remember being so much older and wiser?
Kambree asked a boy to MAG last week. She was dressed in our now famous Albion Snow Man costume.



Yeah, try explaining that too Alex. I finally just went with just watch and see. That is my theme this week. Watch and see. I'm so tired of explaining things like Sunday, "What is hash brown?" Just watch and see Alex. He's eaten and been told what a hash brown is about ten times. I'm hoping by letting him see James cook it and eat it without words, words, words it will stick in his head? Who knows.
Saturday we went to see Lena and Sara be baptized. They looked so cute in their white dresses. I attempted to take their picture with Alex but the three of them are so uncooperative. Lena wouldn't stand by Alex. Alex wouldn't smile.

Then Alex put his tie back on and still not the best picture.

Rylee danced the Virgina Reel this week in school. She told me I could come watch at two o'clock. Funny thing was I was one of the only parents there. Apparently not ALL 4th graders were participating and those that were didn't tell their parents?
We had her decked out in pioneer clothes complete with a bonnet, apron and dress. If you can even see this picture, you'll see that she is the ONLY one dressed like this. Good thing she's not shy!

She's the pink bonnet in the middle.
Well? What can we say? We LIKE to dress up!!
Anyway that was our week!

Reality Check...

So today was another first for Alex.

Parent/Teacher conferences. We had talked about them repeatedly. What time I would be there. What day it was. Even just this morning he reminded me and then called me from school mid-day to make sure I still remembered. Yes, Alex we've gone over this about ten times. Then as I hung up the phone I thought, this child has never experienced this. Never had a mom to bring to anything.
As we were waiting our turn to see his teacher Alex told me. "Mom, I a scared. I not do good." Alex, why would you say that? Shrug. I'm sure you are doing fine. Then again as we are walking in, I a scared Mom. Alex it will be okay, It's Mrs. Loulias and she is so nice.
He IS doing okay. He is ON GRADE LEVEL in math!! WHOOTWHOO! And seems to be right there in science too.
Of course his language skills are not there yet. His sweet teacher found a computer program and got approval from the principal to have it installed on her classroom computer. She thought it was going to be rather expensive when she went to the principal to get approval but because he's so new to the country, it was free! Whew!
She did tell me that she has noticed much more anxiety and tears lately. She was trying to discreetly tell me about last week when I was gone. I just excused Alex so we could talk freely. Apparently he had a rougher time then I thought. The first day he came in clearly agitated and in an angry voice announced to her "Mom gone!" His teacher explained that she knew and that I would be back and that grandma was there taking care of him. "But not MOM!" he said. Then he told her about how his Mom in Ukraine disappeared and police showed up and took him to the orphanage. She said each day he calmed down a little more until he came in beaming "Mom home tomorrow. Drive in car 12 hours."
I was worried about this. The only report I got from my mom was that he cried over not figuring out how to play Guitar Hero. That's normal. He gets easily frustrated when he can't understand things-especially when other children his age seem to be understanding it just fine.
We had talked repeatably about where we would be, how long we'd be gone, when we'd be back. I left a scavenger hunt for the kids to do each day with a treat and notes telling them we love them and would be home soon. It was only FOUR days! Besides not going, I don't think I could have done anything differently. Maybe it was just too soon?
She also commented on the anxiety he is having over the upcoming holidays. I already suspected as much. We've talked about Thanksgiving over and over and you wouldn't think a big dinner with family (family he see's all the time and lives so very close to) wouldn't stress him out, but apparently it does? And this year it's not even the traditional big dinner. It's me and the kids loading up in the van and bringing Thanksgiving to James. I know Christmas will be an issue but Thanksgiving?
I spoke with Alex later. I told Alex I am not his Ukraine mom, or Ukraine grandma or even Ivan. I might leave but I always come back. I will never leave him in an orphanage, he will always have a home. When I talk to him like this, eye to eye with a serious messages he immediately changes the subject like he's really not listening. I think it's his way of dealing with the uncomfortableness of it all and avoid tears. I was talking to him while walking down the hall at school-no one else could hear-but perhaps we can revisit this topic at bedtime.
Lately he has been a bit clingy. Sitting on my lap. Not wanting to let me leave at bedtime tuck in. Crawling on my lap and letting me hold him like a little baby. Laying his head against me and just plain blocking my path and wrapping his arms around me and burying his face in my chest.
How do you teach a child to trust that has been abandoned by everyone he knows? His dad died, his grandma disappeared, his mother left him somewhere or left in the night and he was found by police, even his brother whom he loves dearly, couldn't get him out of the orphanage. Everyone. Gone. Abandoned. Left.
I forget how fragile that must be. How much hurt he has gone through. He does so well in so many avenues. He seems so well balanced, so normal, so happy. Yet his little heart has not yet learned to trust. My poor little boy.
I spent the afternoon trying to crop poor quality digital pictures that I took in Ukraine of the few baby pictures Ivan had of Alex. On my wall in my bedroom I have a baby picture of each of my children and Alex has asked me over and over who is who. I want to surprise him and put his picture up as well. I hope it works.

I also am making him a photo book of all the pictures I have of him as a baby and with Ivan. I thought I'd give that to him at Christmas. He talks about Ivan all the time and today while the kids were fantasizing about places to go on vacation Alex piped up with "I know where I go, to Ukraine and see Ivan."
He is at scouts right now with Brach. We managed to make it to the scout store so he could buy this little hanging thing to pin all his pins on. He was so very excited to purchase it. He did this jumpy leap skip dance on the way out to the car. (See what I mean about happy and well adjusted?)
After talking with other mom's this week and of course reading blogs I can't help but compare him to other children. He has never said he wishes I wasn't his mom. In fact just the opposite, he "I wish I be in-a your tummy." He doesn't act violent, wish he was back in Ukraine or claim my other children are not his siblings. He doesn't glaze over, rock, suck his thumb, wet the bed, pull out his hair, hurt himself, laugh when others get hurt, hurt animals, tell others we hurt him, curse, glare or stomp. He doesn't even speak in his native tongue. All these things I have read and heard of.
I've just considered us blessed and lucky to have such a sweet loving boy. And I still do. We are blessed. In time, I know he will come to trust and feel secure. Today was just an eye opener as to how far we have to go. Baby steps, Wendy. Baby steps.

Journal

This morning while working out at the gym with my friend Jan, we were lamenting (better word than complaining right?) about our financial situations, I going off about my credit union charging me for an appraisal that they never did, she worried about a job situation, me telling Devree she better pray I sell a house so I can pay her her $100 for her 4.0 report card, etc and a woman walked into the room where Jan and I lift weights. (Yes, our gym canceled our class so we just do our own thing but in the privacy of the empty group room-not on the weight floor with all the grunting, sweating, testosterone, muscular men & women) I'm not sure I know this woman's name, I'm terrible with names anyway and it is not because I'm uncaring-it's because I'm just terrible with names. Anyway, she walked in and we asked how she was and she replied, "Battling breast cancer."
We talked at length. Then she left after encouraging us to do our monthly self breast exams.
Wow. Money issues not half as bad as health issues. I need to stop complaining-I mean lamenting.
Then later I walked with Amy-once I had determined that weather bug couldn't possibly be right-at least it didn't feel like 37 degrees-we dropped the kids to school and then proceeded on our walk. Me wrestling two dogs on two leashes and Amy pushing one child in a stroller. Some person driving by actually laughed at us as I tried to untangle dogs & leashes around mailboxes.
These walks are not just good for my heart but for my head. Funny how Amy and I can talk none stop then I'll go home only to call her in five minutes to tell her something I forgot to tell her.
On Sunday I got together with my college roommate and friend, Kristin. I hadn't seen her forever. She has lost 52 pounds and looks fabulous. It was fun to reminisce and catch up. I got out my old photo album and blew the dust off and we tried to remember last names of previous roommates-to no avail. My children wanted to see the pictures and I told them they could later.
So last night Alex asked to see my album and I pulled it out. Rylee and Alex poured over it, asking questions about who all these guys were and Rylee loving my big 80's permed look. The book ends with picture of James and I before we got married.
Rylee asked if I could marry anyone in the world who would I marry. Your Dad, I said. No ANYONE, with millions of dollars?? I'd still pick your Dad. I could tell from the sweet smile on her face that I answered that question correctly. Rylee is so romantic at heart. But truth be told, if I had to pick all over, considering what I know today....I'd still pick him!
While tucking Alex in to bed he told me. "You cute mom in pictures." Awww thanks Alex.
Kambree was up late last night working on a poster for her humanities class. She is so smart and such a good student. I think she is taking three college courses in addition to dancing each day, working 3-4 nights a week and church activities. So, she is incredibly busy and burns the midnight oil quite often. I was so happy to see her up and ready on time this morning. (Mornings are not Kambree's favorite.) She's thinking she may go to Utah State or Snow College. She likes the idea of Utah State cause it's far enough away to be away but close enough to come home if she needs to. I mentioned how Dad thought she should go to Snow-mainly because he did. And then she asked how come we don't tell her these things? I told her because this is her choice, not ours. Besides if we tell her what we think she might just do the opposite. (Yeah, I SO did that as a teenager!) She asked, like when we clothes shop and you show me something and I don't like it, then I find the exact same thing I like it? Exactly!! Didn't I mention she is smart? So now we're going to start filling out applications and looking for scholarships. Oh joy.
Here's to work out friends, long ago friends, true love, college choices and self breast exams...

Life with Alex

Last Sunday Alex rushed into the Relief Society room after church let out, looking for me.
"Mom, mom, I finda special scripture. About mothers. I reada to you at home!"
He was so excited about finding this scripture. He's very proud of the set of scriptures we gave him for his baptism with his name embossed on them. I was curious as to what scripture he had found that had sparked so much interest and enthusiasm.
When we got home he turned right to it and proudly showed it to me. Hum...
It IS written in mostly caps which may be why it APPEARS so special, and it IS about mothers. But honestly when he showed it to me I had to cover my mouth to avoid bursting out in laughter. Here it is in it's entirety.
Revelations 17:5
And upon her forehead was a name written, MYSTERY, BABYLON THE GREAT, THE MOTHER OF HARLOTS AND ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH.
The mother of harlots? Not the warm fuzzy mother scripture I had in mind. Oh well.
So imagine my panic when this Sunday he rushed in to the Relief Society room after church and announced that he had read a scripture in Primary opening exercises for all to hear. I apprehensively asked, what scripture he read to the children(hoping it was not the mother of harlots scripture)? It wasn't. Whew.
Yesterday the big toy book from Toys R Us came in the newspaper and Alex and Rylee poured over the pages. Alex told me he wanted to ask Santa for a-he says nothing but pantomimes by making a bumpy waving motion with his arms.
Me: Alex sweetie, I have no idea what that is. Can you show me a picture?
Alex flips through the catalog and finds a hot wheels race track.
Me: Oh, really?
Alex: Yes
Me: Hum....but Alex you don't play with cars, you gave them all away. Remember?
Alex: (He begins nodding his head.) Oh yeah, never mind. I no want.
I think he just gets so excited that he doesn't think things through. I know he would put this together play with it once and then give it away. Trust me on this.
He then refocuses and came back with what he really wants
"I really, really want. I no change my mind. Pokeman game. Seriously."
That's more like it. Seriously.
Then minutes later he came up and wrapped his arms around me and said:
Alex: I lika have Mom.
Me: Really? Why do you like me?
Alex: You giva me preesents and Creestmas.
And he sighs.
I have a feeling this Christmas is going to be something else. Imagine not having your first Christmas until your eleven years old? He was so excited to trick or treat this year that he couldn't eat dinner because his "tummy no good". I can't imagine his excitement as we get closer to Christmas.
But wait, as if 25 days isn't enough waiting and apprehension, Santa isn't visiting our house until December 30th when James gets home from work. Oh, heaven help us and Alex's tummy!