Happy Father Day James!

Today in church Kambree was asked to give a talk on fathers. She talked about how her dad has taught her how to work and what a hard worker he is. How he works away from home and then comes home and works at home. She never see's him watching sports of TV-sometimes he takes a nap but then just jumps up and gets back to work. The only thing he asks is that the children come talk to him while he's working because he gets lonely and he likes company.
She talked about how he always takes each one of them out to lunch when he's home to spend some one on one time with them and how she likes that.
She told about how he always gives them back to school blessings, and blessings when they're sick.
This talk was all in her own words with no help from me as she composed it thirty minutes before we left for church.
It was very sweet and I just wish that James was there to hear it but he's at work this Fathers Day. Working hard for us.
James, thanks for being such a fabulous dad and great husband.
I love you.

Lecture #375 and counting.....

When I come home with a trunk full of groceries I always honk the horn when I drive in the garage signaling my children to come and help me load them in. Even when I don't honk the horn Alex usually pops his head into the garage and I'm faced with some sort of question or concern before I can get out of the car and shut the door. I've gotten so use to him being right there the minute I get home that when he's not I find it sort of odd.
Today, I honked the horn and no one came running.
Odd.
Devree was with me and we began loading the groceries in. Devree saw Alex at the front door carefully opening it and sneaking out. She went out through the garage and yelled for him to help and he took off on a dead run to his friends house.
Even odder.
Alex is usually very diligent in reporting to me where he's going.
I called the mom of the friend he was heading to and asked her to send him home upon arrival.
About fifteen minutes later he came back and I asked him why he thought I asked for him to come home?
"I no help with groceries?"
Well, yes and that you were sneaking out but mostly because you ran off and didn't tell me where you were going. So now instead of playing you can go pull some weeds in the garden. (I had all the groceries in and mostly put away by this time.)
He went out and started pulling and a few minutes later I went out and started pulling with him and talking about consequences.
I asked him why he would choose to disobey? He usually always gets caught and gets in trouble. Wouldn't it have been better to help with the groceries and then asked to go to his friends? It would have taken less than five minutes but instead he chose to sneak and run off and now his consequence is to be out here in the heat and dirt pulling weeds.
I left him to think about why he would rather disobey then obey and to throw all the weeds in the garbage.
I watched from in the house as he laid his head in his arms and sobbed and then viciously beat the dirt with his shovel.
He came in later-no sign of tears-and I asked if he had an answer for me? He told me his brain only thinks about playing. Wow! I was so impressed he could verbalize this. We talked about how he needs to train his brain to make good choices so he can play more and not get in trouble so often. That only he can figure this out.
He had been invited to go out with his friend tonight and we talked about how making dumb choices like running off and sneaking around could jeopardize doing fun things like that. I told him that behavior like that doesn't make me want to let him do things like that and that he doesn't deserve to go BUT that he can still go tonight if he can promise me that for the next 24 hours I won't have to have any more serious talks with him. That he'll just obey and be good for one day. (Is that asking so much?)
He solemnly nodded and his eyes filled with tears and he walked off.
"Wait, Alex what is wrong?"
"You say I can't go with Tyler, just play at his house."
"What?"
I went back over what I said and he realized he hadn't been listening or didn't understand clearly. (I think he just heard the "you don't deserve to go" and shut the rest off.) We then talked about communication. That it involves not only talking but listening to what the other person is saying. (I find this ironic that within one minute of my deal to not have any more serious talks that I was having yet another one!)
I explained that by communicating we can better understand each other. Instead of walking off crying he could have said "Mom, let me make sure I understand. I CANNOT go with Tyler tonight but I CAN play with him?" Then I could have explained better and we could have avoided all the tears and drama.
He agreed.
I also shared that if he could communicate more information to me like "Mom, I have saved enough money to buy a toy I want at Toys R Us, could you take me there sometime?" that he has a a much better chance of getting me to take him rather than demanding. "I want to go to Toys R Us."
He nodded and you could see the light bulb turn on in his head. (This is a sore spot we have as he's always wanting to "window" shop and asks at the most inopportune moments and last week when the girls were in need of running some errands for things they needed he wanted to go to Toys R Us-which was no where close to where we were-and I said no. I had no idea he had money to buy a certain object-which later turns out that he didn't have enough money anyway.)
Then he confessed to me while out in the garden today he thought I might send him back to Ukraine to the orphanage.
(Ah, that explains the tears and the dirt pounding.)
I asked if he really thought I would do that.
No.
He just thought that maybe I should because he's not a good son.
(Trust me, he's thrown this "I'm not a good son" out before. And I've gone over with him all the things he does well-I think that was just three days ago.)
I told him that no matter what, I am never sending him back to Ukraine. He is our son forever. I do hope that he'll figure out how to train his brain to stop thinking only about playing and make good choices but regardless he's our son and he's here to stay. I don't know why he was born in Ukraine but he was always meant to be with us.
He threw his arms around my neck and then rubbed his cheeks against mine.
That's the best part of all these talks.
The sweet hugs and kisses at the end.
(Sigh)
Can't we just skip to that part and forgo the behavior problems and never ending lectures??
We both agreed we'd be praying for patience with each other and to better communicate. I figure praying is about all we can do now as I'm just really tired of all these lectures and I've run out of ideas and things to say.

Saturday Superstar!

A friend of mine in high school was looking for some actors to help with his film project today. (I know this because we're friends on facebook.) I looked at my Saturday and my clients had just canceled their appointment to look at houses and I figured what the heck? So I sent him a message saying I could help.

As Saturday approached I had so many things I should have been doing, like grocery shopping, cleaning my house, running errands but I'd been messaging back and forth with Kevin and I knew he was counting on me. I figured I'd be one of many extras and he promised it would only be from 10-2.

Friday night I got a message to wear summer clothes and he needed a few kids for an egg toss. I volunteered Alex and Rylee. It just happened to be at the park in our subdivision so we walked over at ten. He handed me the script and low and behold, I was the "star".

Apparently he's competing in the 48 hour film project at seven pm last night he got the topic and the mandatory prop list-an egg. He has to write the script, film it, edit it and return it by seven pm Sunday night.

The story is about investigative report Edna (me) and how she's going to the park to investigate another murder. There's a egg toss at the park as she walk through. She finds a 2nd murder victim clutching an egg and then she runs and everywhere she turns people are eating eggs, hiding Easter eggs, yelling for their kids to eat eggs. In the end she runs into her boss (the murder) who tries to comfort her in her hysteric's and he hugs her but you see him clutching and egg behind her back.

(Insert mysterious scary sound here!)

Had I known I would be running around so much I would have worn gym shoes-as I was in a sundress and flip flops. But it was fun. I got to reminisce with Kevin and another friend from high school, Andy Black-the boss/murder.

And at one point we actually had an older couple stop to see if I needed help-during the discovering the 2nd murder victim scene. Apparently my distress and call for help seemed pretty realistic?

I recruited Brach and Tyler and Traci and her kids to come be in a few shots. (The perks of having the film being shot only a block from your house.)

The premiere is the same night as opening night of Peter Pan. Darn. I would really like to go-or maybe it's best I don't?? There were so many shots of my backside running. Maybe I should just keep a low profile?

If we win (which I'm not thinking is very likely-no offense Kevin) then we get a budget to re-shot the whole thing and make it better and it will go to the Cannes film festival. Who knows? Maybe I'll be the next Napoleon Dynamite? (If I had a font for sarcasm I would have used it on that last sentence.)

Well, all those things I should have been doing instead of making a film are still patiently waiting for me so I better get going.

Wendy & The Real Lost Boy

In the play Peter Pan, there's a song the Lost Boy's sing when Wendy arrives in Neverland. They sing about how she'll sing to them, make them pockets, and tell them stories they've been longing to hear because Wendy's here to stay. Then the chorus goes:
"We have a mother at last we have a mother!"
Rylee has been singing this song over and over and practicing her dance steps in preparation for our play next week.
Today, while walking into the store Alex slipped beside me and he was singing softly "I finally have a mother at last I have a mother."
True, he was probably just imitating Rylee and didn't realize just how sweet and poignant this simple phrase was for me, this Wendy, his mother.
Yep, this little "Lost Boy" has found a mother. Her name just happens to be Wendy too!

By the way we have tickets for sale! $5 for per person or $20 for a family.
Show runs June 23rd-June 29th-excluding Sunday.
Email me at richharts@msn.com for more info!

The letter I am sending off today!

June 16, 2010

Dear Sate of Louisiana,

We are writing regarding the attached Notice of Adjustment letter and check we received from the State of Louisiana in the mail last week.

As we read it, our accountant used the wrong Federal Adjusted Gross Income percentage and we over paid the State of Louisiana $12 for the 2009 year. (See attached #1)

So imagine our surprise when we opened the check-which arrived the same day as the letter-from the State of Louisiana for $1,562! (See attachment #2)

We, of course are more than happy to deposit this check and have many worth while causes that this money can go towards but we sincerely believe this is a mistake and this money is not ours-despite how much we would like for it to be!

We have tried repeatedly to call (225)219-7462-the only number available- to straighten out the situation but it just rings busy. Once we got through to some sort of mail box (mail box #73 if we remember correctly) left our name, number and briefly explained the situation but have not had a return call and that was last week.

We would like to get this straightened out in a timely manner as this check is only valid for 180 days and as mentioned we would love nothing more than to deposit it in our anemic checking account.

We can be reached at....

Sincerely,

James & Wendy Richhart

Late Night Sock In The Eye

Last night I tiptoed into Alex's room to kiss him goodnight. I leaned over his bed to brush his hair off his forehead and POW! He flung out his arm and hit me in the eye and was on the defensive! I don't know if I just touched him at the crucial part of his dream or it's a fight or flight response. I quickly reassured him it was just me, mom coming to kiss him goodnight. He quickly settled and I tucked him in and mentioned that he socked me in the eye. "Sorry mom." he said sleepily.
This morning he asked me if I tucked him in last night.
Yes.
Did I hit you in the eye?
Yes.
I thought you bad guy.
Oh really? Did bad guys wake you up often in the orphanage?
(Yes, I realize that is a leading question but I was squeamishly concerned. If you had seen how quick and defensive he was-you would be too!)
No. But once hobo come in orphanage. Sleep under my bed.
What???
Apparently some homeless man found his way into the orphanage and feel asleep under Alex's bed. He went and got the teacher and the man was escorted out.
Scary.
Gives a new meaning to the character Goldilocks, doesn't it.
Hobo's under your bed?
No wonder I got hit in the eye!

Game On....False Start?

So today was suppose to be the start of GAME ON! Diet. but it's been postponed until next Monday. Boo. This is not good as I've spend the weekend eating terrible in preparation so despite the official game not starting for six more days, Kambree and I are starting today to get conditioned or warm up?
(Did I mention Kambree was doing this with me-her only condition? She DOESN'T want to be on my team! That hurt my feelings for just a minute until I realized that we'll keep each other honest AND I won't have to worry about what she's eating as she's the enemy! She's on the other team! Insert evil laughter here!)
So along with the eating plan, you have to drink 3 liters of water a day, get seven hours of sleep, give up one bad habit and incorporate one good habit. Which has nothing to do with food or diet. (As that is already taken care of in the food plan.) I have decided-after long thought-that my bad habit I am going to work on is surfing the Internet! I gave up TV months ago and instead spend hours mindlessly lurking blogs, reading FB, playing Family Feud on FB etc. So my goal is to only allow myself one hour of social Internet time. This does not include the hours I need to be on the computer for work or the time I spend writing my own blog. Just the time I spend lurking others & socializing. (Which I really don't socialize-I just read about others socializing.)
This seven hours of sleep a night is going to be tricky. Last night we didn't get out of rehearsals until eleven, by the time I dropped everyone off, got home, ordered our Bountiful Basket for Saturday and into bed it was 11:45. My gym appointment is at 5:30 am. I'm not sure how this is going to work. I did sleep until 6:45 and went on a walk but I'm feeling really guilty for ditching Jan this morning. I think until I get this play over with, I'm going to have to skip my early morning gym and just exercise later in the morning? But wow! I feel great having slept for seven hours straight!
Oh, my good habit? I'm going to read my scriptures for ten minutes a day and KNEEL down to say my prayers. (I know, that tells you how lazy I am doesn't it?) I know that's like TWO good habits but I sort of do both already just not as regularly as I'd like. The kneeling down part is strictly laziness on my part-that and my aversion to cold in the winter. But since it's summer-or at least will be some day? It's a good time to start this habit!
Right?
So, I've got my seven hours of sleep, got my exercise in, have started on my water, had my first of five meals-string cheese, banana & six cashews and I have only been lurking blogs for five minutes as I had to check on the Hinkson's and they're adventure in Ukraine.
In the back of my mind, I know this doesn't really count until Monday when the real game starts so I know I'll be tempted to cheat. Blogging it might hold me a little more accountable.
So, faithful readers-the two or three of you out there- feel free in the future to just skip all these entries with the words Game On in the title. As they'll probably be boring and inconsequential and tell you way more than you want to know!
So here's to GAME ON....my false start!

Home again, home again....

Everyone's home and no worse for the wear!

Kam, Aug & Dev had a great time at youth conference. It sounds like they had a very adventurous river run complete with hail, wind and a rescue of a scout troop! Austin is so like his Dad, he's all about adventure. Once while in Lake Powell and a summer storm James had to dive down at night in the water to secure the boat to the buoy. The winds were blowing, the boat was rocking, it was dangerous and James was in heaven! It's all about adventure with my boys!
My girls are not wimps either and both agreed that the river run was the best part of the trip!

James and Alex survived their camping trip in the rain. They rode the motorcycle and climbed cliffs and explored caves-complete with bats. Alex has given me about five hugs since he's been home and told me he missed his house. I know he had a great time with James and his Uncle Bill and cousin Brach but I think he's realizing just how great it is to come home!





Before Alex and James left we had just the two littlest kids and we went out to eat each night. We don't eat out much. We had some free kid meals coupons so it was incredibly cheap. We ate at Texas Road House one night and Wingers another. We also watched movies in the middle of the day, went to the DI, had peaceful quiet Mom School, and Ry and Alex had a bake sale one afternoon and made $13.
Friday morning Alex and James left for their overnight trip and Ry and I cleaned up the house and then went shopping and we shopped ALL day! We went with my sister Kammy, her daughter Sydni and my mom. It was great as there was no one home waiting for us, no responsibility and no time limit! We ate out again on Friday, then Ry and I came home late and popped in a chick flick and put on our pj's and listened to it rain-glad that we were not the one's out in a tent!
Here's a picture of my cute Ry out shopping....

Now the washer and dryer are going full force, Jame is repairing his motorcycle, Ry & Alex have had their baths and are waiting for James and I to watch a movie, Kam is off with friends, Austin with his and Devree is catching up on Facebook on the other computer.
As much as I enjoyed the quiet and the one on one time with my Ry-Pie, it's good to have everyone home, safe and accounted for!

Yikes....do I dare admit this?

Oh, do I dare admit to this on my blog?
Hum....
I think so.
So, starting June 15th I will be participating in The Game On Diet.
And I'm really excited.
About five years ago I lost around twenty pounds. Twenty pounds that I should have lost after I had Austin but didn't. But I felt so great once I did.
I did it by exercise and Weight Watchers Core program. I have slowly, in the last couple of years put on, taken off and put on again ten-twelve of those twenty.
Boo.
I'm trying to be realistic. I know I'm not going to weigh what I did in high school. (Which I look back at my high school body and wonder why I thought I was fat? What the heck? I would LOVE to have that body now!) I would just like to feel comfortable and lately I am most comfortable with stuffing my face with food I shouldn't be eating.
Each day I faithfully go to the gym or ride my bike. (Well, usually at least 4-5 times a week.) And each morning I resolve to eat better, and get my act together to lose these ten pounds. And each day by about ten am.....I find myself eating something sinful and the day just goes downhill from there.
So, when I read about this diet "game" on another blog-I got a little excited. I LOVE games. I am very competitive. And this is something new and exciting and will hold me accountable not just to myself but to my team!
I bought the book this morning and so far I really agree and appreciate all the material presented. (Except for the colorful language.)
Tonight I'm going to get through the food plan-but so far it sounds a lot like the Body For Life eating plan-with a day off each week. I like that.
And you get points for just following the plan-not necessarily losing the most weight. I like that too as that last ten pounds seems to come off so slowly and painfully.
There's also points for giving up bad habits and gaining good ones. I like that too.
So, here goes.
It's on my blog...so it's true!
Game On....June 15th!
Pleased comment if you've tried, heard of or would like to particulate!
I would love you on my team....or maybe just kick your can if you're on the other team!

Look Me In The Eye

I finished reading a book last night about Jewish children that immigrated to America during the Holocaust. It was terribly sad how these parents sent their children-all alone-thousands of miles away to live often times with complete strangers or sometimes orphanages here in the States. Of course it was in their best interested as it probably saved their lives. It was eye opening for me as this was written from a child's view point-the author's mother experienced this first hand-and the difficulties in learning a new language and living in a new country. It gave me more empathy towards my Alex as although he didn't leave loving parents behind, he left all he knew and he came to live with new parents in a new environment that was totally foreign to him.
It was a good book for me to read.
Little did I know I would come to a major epiphany.
The child in the book talks about how in Germany when a teacher or adult was speaking to you that out of respect you DIDN'T look them in the eye-you cast your eyes downward. Here in America her teacher wanted her to look her in the eye when she was speaking to her. This was a very hard concept for this child.
Hum....
I was curious. Perhaps this downward look is also a sign of respect in Ukraine?
I can't even tell you how many times I have asked Alex to look me in the eye. Even held his face and helped him direct his gaze into my eyes. It wouldn't matter if I was reprimanding or just talking he wouldn't look at me. It drove me crazy, I was sure he was ignoring me or tuning me out. I also thought it was some sort of detachment-withdraw-self preservation tactic.
But maybe....???
So, this morning I told Alex a little about my book. About how children in Germany were taught to not look into an adults eyes or face when spoken to. I asked if that was how it was in Ukraine?
"Yes."
"You mean when a teacher was talking to you-be it yelling or just talking you didn't look at them?"
"Yes."
"So, I said let's pretend I'm an Ukraine teacher and I am talking to you" I began talking and Alex immediately cast his eyes down at the floor with a contrite look on his face.
In an instant he was that forlorn child that I brought home just over a year ago.
Huh.
What I had interpreted as ignoring me, and defiance by NOT looking at me was actually how he was TAUGHT to show respect to adults?
Why didn't I know this?
I told him how hard that must have been for him when he first came here and how I didn't know that was what he was taught. In America it's just the opposite, not looking at someone and showing that you're listening is a sign of disrespect.
Poor little guy.
Imagine how confused he must have been those first few months?
He still struggles to look at me when he's in trouble. It doesn't matter if I'm yelling or talking softly. He just turns away. But then that's pretty common in most children. My big kids tend to not only not look at me but roll their eyes and walk away.
I just wish I had known sooner about this respect thing....
Good grief!