Winter Camp Try #2!

Alex is off to scout camp!

Winter over night-er.

Brrr...

(So  glad I'm not a boy scout!)

They actually tried this a few weeks ago and the place they went had a "no snow camping" sign posted so here goes try # 2!
(Also, so glad I am not a scout leader!)

The first camp was announced after we left on our cruise and he packed all his own gear as he was leaving before we got home. I made James call and tell him which sleeping bag to take as I was sure he was going to pack the 1.5 pound bag we bought him for Christmas for his summer hiking trips. Not a decent winter sleeping bag. Sure enough, he had the little thin one packed. (Rated to 30 degrees!) 

He kept his bag packed and insisted that he had everything he needed.

Now, I know he forgot PJ's, shampoo & soap last time so I decided at the last minute to check his bag. (And get him to change out of his nice school clothes!) He was a bit disgruntled as he wanted to rush off to his scout leaders house a 1/2 hour early but couldn't because I was making him go through a "mama" check list.

Upon making him change, wear tall wool socks instead of ankle socks, and adding sweats to sleep in, a 2nd pair of wool socks, water bottle, toothbrush and toothpaste to the already "packed and ready to go" bag,  I found he had packed two pair of jeans, two winter hats, one pair of little-tiny-miss-matched stretchy gloves, three pairs of socks, three undershirts, and three long sleeve shirts. Did I mention this was an over-night-er? I repacked, pulling out the unneeded items, insisted on him finding water proof gloves, threw in some fruit snacks crackers and juice boxes.

As I'm adding and subtracting from his bag, his friend Micha comments, "Alex, what would you do without your mom?"

I got a big hug and he was off.

Ten minutes later he comes bursting through the door.

I need a a misskit.

A what?

A misskit!

A biscuit? 

To eat on!! A MISSKIT!! 

(And he pantomimes eating off of plate with a fork!)

Oh.....A MESS KIT?

Alex breaks into a grin when he realizes what he's said.

Which reminds me of this morning.

This morning we were working on reciting his quote for the week. (Each week for school he has to memorize and recite a quote.) This morning I couldn't get him to pronounce worth beans! He was just talking soft, through his nose and "sss-ing" all over. (He has a "s" issue.) 

On the way to school I wished him luck and asked what was wrong this morning?

I just wasn't away-gee.

Away-gee?

Yes, I just wasn't away-gee yet.

Honey, I'm not sure you're AWAKE...now!
 

Again he grins when he realizes his mistake.

Well, I hope my boy doesn't freeze, that he enjoys whatever he gets in his MISSKIT and that he doesn't keep his scout leader AWAYGEE all night!

Alex Update!

Get this!
Yesterday Alex told me at least FIVE times how GLAD he was we took video games away.

He spent his free time driving his remote control car, riding his long board, practicing karate kicks and laying on the ground on his back and then flipping himself up to his feet. (Kambree informed me in dance this is called a Kip Kick. Whatever it is, I couldn't do it so save my life!)

Not sure if he's trying to act happy to appease me or has some alternative motive but he's been sweet and loving and the old Alex I love and remember....

 In Spelling News:

This week Alex has words like

vein

vane

vain

Not too hard to spell but you do need to know how they're being used in the sentence to get the correct spelling. (Homophones.)  I've been reading him the definition and giving him an example of how the word is used and he- in his haste to hurry through his studying - informed me he doesn't need to know the definition, just read the word.
Hum....I argued that he DOES need to know the definition but he was convinced he did not. So, this morning  I scrambled all the words in a different order and he - of course - got a bunch wrong. He was pretty mad about it and informed me that Mr. Allred always reads them in the correct order.
Ah-ha!
So he was just memorizing the order? 

I told him to speak with Mr. A about it, and if he's giving them in order, I will too - for his pre-test tonight. I then called Mr. A (after Alex left for school) and had a chat with him about Alex's opinion that he doesn't need to learn the word - just memorize the order. He was flabbergasted that Alex wouldn't want to learn the definition.
Hello?
Welcome to my world!
The test will be scrambled tomorrow and he'll inform the entire class today.

Oh that was an evil thing  to do wasn't it??

Teeheehee.

Sweaty Mom, Video Games & Lost Spelling Papers

Alex came in and smashed his cheek to mine and wrapped his arm around my shoulder early this morning.

 "Sorry, Alex, I just got back from my run. I'm sort of sweaty"

"That's okay, I like sweaty moms."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, sweaty moms don't smell as bad as sweaty boys!"

If only we could live from this sweet moment to the next sweet moment. 

*Sigh*

But, nope. 

We have real life to deal with. 

Last night, big talk with Dad on Skype about why Alex was in a rush to get home Monday after school, lied to his older sister - telling her that Rylee always leaves school before him (when she's the slowest pokiest) - just so he could rush home to get his homework done and play X-box. Leaving his little sister to walk home in the pouring rain. Alone.

Really this behavior is not like Alex. He is loving and caring but when it comes to video games, another personality takes over. 

So, guess what?

After getting down to the root of why Alex was in a big hurry to get home and would abandon his sister like that, Dad decreed no video games for a month for EVERYONE!!

(His theory....is that in a team, if one person is weak the whole team suffers and they all work on helping the weaker team mate. I agree with this to a point, but because this decree would only effect TWO of our team mates, I can see it driving a wedge between them, not bringing them closer.)

Alex was very brave and told him that it wasn't fair to take them away from Austin. To which Austin agreed. (Keep in mind this is Austin's gaming system and game and he has actually been generous in allowing Alex to play.) Dad called me in for a consult and we've worked out that Alex is to have no video games during the week and limited access on the weekends. 

Whew....

After getting off Skype with Dad, Austin stepped up to the plate and gave advice that only a big brother could give.

"Dude, you need to find another interest. Video games rule your life. Figure something else out."

(Something I've been saying for almost two years!)

We sat around giving him ideas and suggestions.

This morning, before everyone was up and after my "sweaty" hug, guess who was in front of the computer in the kitchen, playing a computer game.

Yep. 

Alex.

Grrr....

I explained that although the word X-box was used, the rule applies to ALL video games and that this rule is indefinite. With no end in sight because it's apparent, he has a big problem.

Later that morning we had time to spare and I  asked Alex to grab his spelling list and we'd do a quick quiz and get some of this afternoons homework out of the way.

Guess who couldn't find his spelling paper?

Alex.

Despite my numerous talks on putting all papers in his folder and where they belong, he has lost his spelling list. Which he had in hand just last night. 

We clean out his folder, throwing away papers that are months old. 

And we talk.

Again.

About organization, follow through and just plain responsibility. 

His face is like stone when I talk with him. Like he's just tolerating me for the moment and not listening to a thing I say. It makes my eyes bulge and it also makes me long winded.

He always agrees, he answers at the right time, I always ask for his input, what he's thinking but he never has anything to say or add. He's like a robot.

I told him that I know he can do this! I reminded him about how he hated his bath and wouldn't use soap and after months of struggling and me making him get back in the tub -sometimes three times - he finally figured it out. Just take a bath and use soap! 

Since then he has learned how nice it is to be clean, to feel fresh, to know he doesn't smell and to not have confrontation with me about his bath.

This organization thing is like that too! His life will be easier when he figures it out!! He's in too much of a hurry so he shoves his papers anywhere he can find and rushes off to play. Video games usually. I told him taking away video games won't change that, he'll be too busy to rush off and do whatever else. That only he can stop, take the time to put things where they go and keep his stuff cleaned up and organized. That one minute yesterday of putting his papers in their right place would have saved ten minutes of him looking, me looking and this talk today!

Again,  he agrees with all of this.

Yet we've had this talk before. 

At least five times before.

He hugs and kisses me before leaving for school and he's off, like everything is hunky-dory. 

Did anything sink in? 

Were my words all in vain? 

Only time will tell.

*Sigh*

With regards to my running? 

I am training for a 5K this spring.

Not a marathon. 

Just a 5K. 

My marathon training?

That is with Alex.

22 months +

Life With Kambree.....

Kambree is home for spring break! 

Love having her home.

Yesterday we went to they gym and worked out then grabbed Rumbi's to-go for lunch. It's great to have her to myself during the day. 

She's been hitting the books hard - apparently spring break is not a break from homework - and this morning I was clearing my Google search bar to look for a recipe for benyas (those donuts looking things from Princess And The Frog) to celebrate Mardi Gras-Mormon style. (With fattening food of course!) and I find this:

How do erythrocytes speed the process of....

(I had backspaced over whatever process she was looking for when I realized I had no idea what this sentence meant. What the heck are erythrocytes?) 

At first glance I thought someone was Googling for the speed of coyotes until I read the sentence closer!

Yep.
That would be Kambree, looking up some medical term for her Human Anatomy class. 

Last time she was home for Christmas break, she was sitting next to my mom examining her hands and pronounces,  "Grandma, you would make a good cadaver!"  She meant it in the kindest way. (If there is a kind way to tell someone that they'd make a good cadaver!) Apparently, my mom has "great veins". My mom - luckily - has a great sense of humor and she tells everyone she knows about Kambree's odd complement. 

She just returned from California before spring break. (Rough life...huh?) Her drill team went to competition there and she had so much fun. Here are some pictures I stole off of FB.....

Yes, she ran into Napoleon Dynamite!

That's my Kam.....

Dev's Before & Afters!

22 months ago....Devree got her braces on! 

Today was the day to liberate her teeth from bondage!

Ta-da!

She joins her older siblings with identical smiles. 

Just think - in this picture alone -  you're looking at $15,000 of orthodontia!

Three down two more to go!

Full or Empty

With regards to yesterdays post, I don't know if any of you out there with Ukraine imports have this issue, but does your child feel extra sorry for him or herself? 

Alex does.

He doesn't even have to write it in his journal. His dejected body language says it all.

"Alex, it's time for reading."

*Sigh"

"Alex it is your turn for dishes."

*Sigh* and head down shuffle into the kitchen.

"Alex it's bath time."

Big *sigh* and begrudging turn off the TV and slouch up to the tub.

He feels like his life is so hard. 

After his journal entry about not getting complimented on his English, I asked him what was wrong?

I have hard life.

What is so hard for you Alex?

He tells me "learning". 

Funny. It's not just learning that gives me the Academy Award winning, speechless performances.

I ask if his chores are hard? 

No. 

Is church hard? 

No. 

Are our family rules hard?

No.

Nothing is hard (as of yesterday) except learning.

Now, I'm a "glass is half full" kind of gal and I struggle with his "glass is half empty" attitude.

I asked him if learning was hard in Ukraine? 

No....because he didn't learn anything. 

(His answer....not mine.) 

We talked about how learning is important and that his life is so much better than so many other children in the world. How he has clean clothes, food, a nice house, toys, a family etc. Then I talk about  how great he is doing and on and on. He agrees with all of that but 

*sigh*

still he feels his life is hard...

 What's a "glass is half full" gal to do?

Alexism

Today in his journal:

I wish someone tell me I got better English.

Bahahaha....

I wonder why no one is telling him he "got" better English?

(In all fairness, I tell him he's amazing...a lot! And we say lot's of good jobs and greats but apparently we don't compliment his English enough?)

For My Friends In Ukraine & Those On The Way

 We have three families in Ukraine right now adopting and a handful more heading there in the next few weeks. It's so exciting to follow their adventures, to see their pictures, get their take on the culture and yet so heart wrenching too. You see, not all children are rip-roaring, ready to go and would go with anyone. Some are scared, afraid to leave all that they know - be it good or bad - move 1/2 way around the world, learn a new language, live a new life and say goodbye to everyone and everything familiar. It would be very scary.
 Alex was one of the first type of kids.
He just wanted out, and he would have gone with anyone.  But not all adoptions go smoothly for various reasons. It's hard to wear your heart on your sleeve and put yourself out there -both financially and emotionally. Adoption is not for the faint of heart and it is by no means....easy!
(In all honesty? I think 9 months of pregnancy and birth was easier than an international adoption. Adoption is not just about the paper work, the extortionate expense, and the trip to Ukraine but the months & months after. The adjusting and acclimation and teaching a child at age ten -without English language skills - without much of an idea what it's like to live in a family - with different cultural values & manners - what you've taught everyone else since birth.)
So, with families gone and families heading I've been reminiscing our experience and realize that I could now talk to Alex and get his take on a few things and hear his side of the story.
I write a lot of sweet things about Alex on my blog. From the get go, Alex has been loving and eager to please. I remember him insisting on carrying in all the groceries during our hosting program, defending my seat next to him when another orphan tried to sit there, jumping up to get my mom a chair and just all over a sweet, pleasing, loving boy.
That's not to say we have don't have moments of frustration, confrontation and a battle of wills. We do. We have (see the first six months of blog entries for further proof) and we will probably have more in the future as he gets older.
We have that with all our children - just because this child was adopted from an orphanage doesn't make him constantly grateful, always obedient nor agree with all our parenting techniques.

But when James and I left for Ukraine, we went to get Alex and Alex alone. We decided that if he didn't want to come or it didn't work out, we were going home.  No question. No looking through books of children and picking someone out, we felt that THIS was the boy for our family. The boy that was meant to be our son.(That's not to say that we disapprove of those that adopt blindly, we just decided it wasn't for us.)  When we got there and he ran into my arms, there was never a question. Yes, he wanted us as much as we wanted him.
Or at least I thought so then.

A few months ago. Maybe almost a year ago, during one of Alex's melt downs, I was asking him if he wanted to be here? With us? And he told me that he would have gone with anyone that came to get him. That anyone would be better than getting hit in the orphanage. 

That set me back. 

Anyone?

We never spoke about it again.

I'm not sure I even blogged about it. 

It sort of hurt my heart but at the same time, I realized just how scary living in an orphanage must be to have the courage to go with just anyone. (At least his orphanage. I have since learned that not all orphanages are like Alex's, yet all are institutions and can no way replace the love and support of a family.)

Tonight I brought it up again. I told him I just wanted to understand how he truly felt and nothing he said would change about how we felt about him. I mentioned the "I would go with anyone to get out of the orphanage" conversation we had months ago and he innocently nodded. Yes, he would have gone with anyone. 

Would you have been scared to go with another family?

Yes.

But you would have went?

Yes.

Were you scared to go with us?

No.
We talked about the hosting time, about how he liked his face tickled and to lay against me. We talked about when he realized that we actually wanted to adopt him, the joy he felt.

I asked if he talked about getting adopted with his friends on the airplane ride home?

No.

Why?

Because what if they didn't have parents, (anyone that wanted to adopt them) it would hurt their feelings.

Oh.

I asked if any of the other children talked about it? The girls from his school?
No.
He said he did tell his teacher that he was going to be adopted and she told the whole class in a loud voice and then all his classmates wanted to know about his family and when we were coming. He told them about playing video games and all the food we have to eat.
He had never witnessed anyone ever being adopted from his orphanage. He knew of it, but it had not happened to anyone in his orphanage. He was the first.

We talked about when we arrived in Ukraine and  how he wouldn't go play with Dad and the other orphans. He confessed that he only wanted Dad to play with him. He didn't want to share him. Funny how I had figured that one out right there and then in the orphanage. I even blogged about his aversion to sharing his Dad.

We talked a bit more about some of his memories of the hosting program, of phone calls to the orphanage, that yes, he did cry, tears of happiness and tears of missing us. That it was hard to understand what we were saying too.

I told him about how hard and often I prayed for him and about the dream

He told me that in Ukraine he went to a class like primary (religion class) and a lady taught him that he could pray for anything and get an answer, then he told me how he prayed all night that we would come and get him. He's thinking that he and I must have been praying at the same time - that was why I had that dream!

I'd like to think that too.

So even though he would have gone with "anyone" at least he was praying for us.
It was so nice to get his take on all this.
Someday, my friends in Ukraine (and those heading there shortly) you too will get their take on this experience too. You will be able to ask, why they cried, why the hesitated, what they were thinking? Or like me you will find that they would have gone with anyone and just how sad and lonely orphan life was.
The road is rough ahead of you but so worth the journey.
God Speed.
~Wendy

Alex's last day in the orphanage....

Court Of Honor

Alex earned one of the many pins that they pin on their mothers. (What does that tell you? What a great scouting mother I am? I don't even know what this pin was for. I just know I have a whole compartment of them in my jewelry box after Austin, and now I'm getting more!) 

Note to self: Do not look down at the pin during picture taking-even though you're sure Alex is going to pin it directly to your skin. Chin up my dear! Good grief. 

 We learned that Alex's troop is going on THREE hikes this summer. Totaling ELEVEN days! Wow, what a saint-like, ambitious scout leader...right?

 Alex has been working hard on merit badges and I think he likes scouts...for the most part. They usually feed him ice cream at the end of each activity and I know he at least likes that!

Sunday Suits!

 James and Austin got new suits and I wanted to get a picture of them together in said new suits before heading to church Sunday. James wasn't ready but Austin and Devree were showing off the treats they were sneaking into sacrament meeting. I thought this was funny....Austin's little snack size compared to Devree's family size bag of Skittles. (Am I a bad mom to let them sneak treats? I just figure if it gets them to church without complaint, and they're discreet, what does it hurt? Well, besides their teeth enamel?)

James was eating his peanut butter toast and mug-o-milk and thought that would be perfectly fine to have in my new suit picture. 

 Ummm...no! So, here's me after taking away their food stuffs and trying to get them in a picturesque position.

 And after many tries here's what I got. Austin's eyes are a bit wide open and James looks real cooperative (not), but the suits look good!

 Always ready for the camera, Rylee...

 And not to be out done.....Devree!

 Sharing breakfast....

 And here's Alex even though he didn't get a new suit (he's still growing like a weed!)