Cell Phone Saga....

Alex has it in his head that he is going to buy himself a cell phone. 

A crappy Cricket phone. 

He's calculated that at the end of this month after mowing lawns, he'll have enough for the cheapest-crappiest phone and possibly two months of service. (He has yet to factor in taxes and connection fees - I'm going to let the Cricket people surprise him with that info.)

I've just let him plan and plot. 

Whatever. 

It's his money.

However, in true Alex fashion, the idea of this cell phone is consuming him. Everyday it's more and more questions about the cell phone, the service, where the store is, how long will it take if to get the phone if he buys it of the website etc.  Finally, yesterday I signed off. 

"Alex, I think buying a cell phone is silly and torturous. You can only afford two months of service and then you'll have a cell phone in hand that will be good for nothing. If you want to buy a cell phone, it's your money but you are on your own. I will not be helping you with a purchase I don't agree with."

I know.
I'm mean.
But really?
Two months? And with the lawn mowing season coming to a grinding halt for the next seven months, there is no way he'll be able to come up with the money for another month of service. 

As I was tucking his disgruntled self into bed I tried a different tactic. 

"Why do you need a cell phone? Who are you going to call?"

"I will call you when it is raining." 

"I know when it's raining. I can see the rain. You don't need to call me." 

 (This would be for me to come pick him up from school.)

"What if you are in Smiths and don't know?" 

"Then I am in Smiths and I can't come pick you up until I am done, then I will see it's raining when I go to my car and come get you or you will have walked home in the rain. Either way, calling me won't help. Who else will you call?"

"I will call friends far away."

"Like who?"

"I don't know....Chase. I will text Chase."

"What will you text Chase about?"  

(I am laughing inside just picturing his ability to spell and how impossible it would be to read and understand his text. I am sort of thinking maybe texting might improve his spelling? But I quickly dismiss that notion. Writing in his journal daily has yet to do that and it's not like his little friends will correct him. His text will probably consist of Alex writing something and whoever responding will write, "What?") 

"I don't know."

Then I tell him the reason I am not supplying him with a cell phone is, he hasn't proven he can take care of one. I remind him of how he puts away his laundry - just shoving it in any available drawer - the condition of his locker - that we clean out weekly but each week is crammed full of wrappers and garbage - and the fact that I have found his chap-stick, his entire bag of orthodontic elastic bands, numerous batteries, pocket knives and candy wrappers- some with candy still in them - at the bottom of the washer on beyond numerous occasions.

He grumbles, 

"I know how to take care of a phone mom."

"Really? Like how you took care of your watch?"

"That is watch not phone. I put it and someone shook it." 

(He threw it on a blanket at the lake rather than store it in his bag and when we cleaned up, someone probably shook the blanket - sending the watch into the bushes?  Of course Alex didn't think about his watch until the next day.) 

"It is the same thing. It could have been a cell phone. You only had your watch for a month."  

(And that would be his third or forth watch he's had since arriving home.) 

He sighs.

He knows I'm right.

I know I'm right.

I know he's not ready and if it's not lost, stolen or broken in the first month - it will be sitting useless the next. It will really be torture for him and in return, torture for me!

"Okay. I have something else I will buy for one hundred dollars."

"Oh really, what?"

"A light saber."

Then I sigh.

Give me strength.....