No screens.....

Wow.
It's not going so great. I think everyone thinks that this is just a "phase" I am going through. Alex just shook his head in disbelief. Rylee out and out cried.
But the more and more I hear and talk about this - I know we are not alone. My friend Christy asked the president of BYU IDAHO what the biggest problem is that he has with his students and he said for the male students it is "skipping class to stay home and game and porn.". Seriously? Gaming is up there and as addictive as porn?  I did a little research this morning and found oodles of sites about internet addiction, video game addiction and technology bombardment.
More fuel to my fire! 
We are bombarded with technology. We can't make it through a dinner or family home evening without someones phone beeping. I think as a society we are losing the art of conversation, losing our ability to look out for others and recognize when our services are needed, losing quiet time - time to reflect and ponder. That was one thing that I enjoyed about my 5.5 hour ride. Yes,  I had headphones on but I wasn't reading or watching with my eyes - I was able to think long and hard about quite a few subjects as I pedaled and pedaled through the farmlands of Brigham City.
I wake up early. I don't get up early but I wake up between 3:30-4:30 am. This is when I do my best thinking. Often times I'm thinking about why am I awake and how to get back to sleep but if I just let my mind go with my thoughts, this is when the Spirit speaks to me. He's had to start waking me up so early because when else can I hear? Like my children, I am immersed in technology. Constantly checking my phone for emails and texts. Granted most my technology time is spent for work but I have become quite the Facebook junkie since working for jetBlue. While working we had trade boards on Facebook that I caroused hourly to find people that I could trade my hours with. Now I just check on my friends all day long. It's a great thing in someways -  but a bad thing too. How many times have I been scrolling through Facebook when I should have been talking with my kids? I also like Pinterest - which too is good and bad. It motivates me to make things, cook, exercise but yet if I'm not careful? I spend hours on it. So this no screens thing? It's going to be good for me too. (Which is a bit hypocritical as I sit in front of a screen typing.) My no screens will be when my children are home - besides work of course.

So here's the rules:

#1 NO SMART PHONES/ITOUCHES/TABLETS UNTIL GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL
Lucky for us, Alex lost his iTouch a few weeks ago. Austin, James and I have an iPhone. And since Austin didn't buy his own until he was 18, I am thinking that's the way it's going to be with everyone else - although I know Alex was saving up for one. (For the phone and a years worth of service because I told him he'd have to pay an extra $20 a month like Austin for his smart phone. I had to nix his dream of iPhone own-age. It sounds fair since no one else had one until age18. Right?) So, kids will just have dumb phones. But all phones are turned in at quiet time - 8:00 pm. This is really only an Alex and Rylee rule since Devree is rarely home and often needs her phone for last minute changes regarding drill the next day. She does turn her phone to silent at ten pm. Kambree and Austin grew up before I got smart enough to figure this out. 
Rylee does have a Kindle Fire. She bought it herself.  Hence the tears. She loves it but she had to admit - after she got control of herself - that she does sometimes does waste too much time on it. This was hard as she's a straight A and honors student. We made a compromise that she can READ ALL SHE WANTS (duh?) but that internet surfing and silly games were to be very limited and certainly not before getting her homework and jobs done. She is going to ask and agree to a time limit before getting on but in all fairness? She really doesn't have the problem that a certain imported brother does. In fact if it weren't for this brother, we probably would not be enacting these rules?

#2 NO TV besides organized family TV time. This one is hardest on Alex. He shuts himself downstairs in the dark and flips through the channels or puts in a movie all the time. It's also hard on Rylee who loves to Hulu entire series like Cake Boss and Wedding Dress shows. The other kids? Too busy for TV. Me? I like the news and I like to flip it on when I'm folding laundry for hours on end - but I'm not just sitting there doing nothing. Yesterday Alex went outside to play after I enforced this rule. He went to a friends - who wasn't home, then came home and played with the new slingshot he bought. Both he and Austin were running around shooting things.  Not sure what? Not sure I want to know but hurray for me! I unplugged the antenna - no easy feat on the big screen - but I'm not sure how to police the movies. I am hoping for compliance rather than preventative measures.

#3 No GAMING this ONLY hurts Alex. And unlike Austin who will eventually get tired of sitting in the dark gaming and get up and go find friends or skateboard, Alex will do it  FOR.EV.ER. Austin sold his Xbox months ago and has not looked back. Woot! Alex still pines for it. I am not the least bit sad about this rule. Nope. No gaming on computers, the Wii or phones. (Luckily the DS gaming systems are dead.)  I've put a code on the MAC and the PC and removed some necessary Wii items to make it work. The kids can Wii if they have two or more siblings willing to play together AND they've checking in with everything else complete. I'll give them a time limit and that's it. Wii really isn't the problem. We don't have any violent Wii games - they were with the XBox and the Xbox is no more. Most the recent gaming issues were on my MAC and that is now a non issue. This is where we're going to have the most withdrawals and gnashing of teeth.

#4 LIMITED COMPUTER USE this is more for social media. I don't mind if the kids check Facebook and emails or put new songs on their iPods for a few minutes each day. It's the crappy YouTube, Iwastesomuchtime.com and other  silliness that is going! This will be hardest on Devree and Rylee. Alex of course gets sucked into it when it's on but he rarely surfs for it. The code on the MAC prevents this from happening and it brings such peace to our home. (I have always had a code on the MAC but in time they usually figure it out and then I just get lazy about changing it.  My bad. Now I'm back in the game.) Sure they can do homework. Sure they can look for free sheet music for the piano. But like social media sites - they'll check in with me and I'll log them in and we will set some time limits.

Oy! How I wish we didn't have these issues but I don't want to lose my children to technology. I don't want them to come home divorced over not paying attention to their spouse over their gaming system. I don't want them fired because they can't stop texting or surfing the Internet. I don't want them dropping out of school becasue they sluff class to game in their dorm or apartment. I don't want Alex to continue to remain unfocused and unmotivated and uncommunicative. I don't want Rylee to only quote funny lines from YouTube videos. I want my children to be happy, successful and charismatic people that look up and around when walking through life - not heads in their laps, eyes on their devices, thumbs going like sixty.


Here's just a little of my research and reasoning:

Here's a great article

And a few other snippets:

According to this recent education news report, Professor Larry Rosen of California State and author of “iDisorder: Understanding Our Obsession with Technology and Overcoming its Hold on Us,” reveals the harm that too much television — and other digital screens — can cause harm to kids growing up over time. He notes, “These devices have an almost obsessive pull towards them ... There’s certainly no other toy that can compare with the screen, video, and interactivity of a high-definition screen.”Yet letting a bit of technology do all of a child’s thinking for him or her can slow down their own thinking skills little by little over time, the study reports.

In the IAD (Internet Addiction Disorder) -diagnosed teenagers, the scientists found evidence of disruption to 'white matter' nerve fibres connecting vital parts of the brain involved in emotions, decision making, and self-control.

"Extended periods of time using computers or screen-based entertainment does increase short-sightedness," Mr Foresto said.
"It's important to limit your screen use to less than an hour and spend adequate time outdoors."


And you really need to see this video (click on this sentence.)

Wish me luck! We're going to be going through withdrawals.....