CrAzY CrYinNg DaY!

Today's the day!

Kids go to school and Kambree heads to college!

Oh my.

The kids going to school is a joyous occasion. Even they admit they're excited. The girls all have outfits laid out in anticipation. (The boys have probably put no thought into what they'll be wearing.) And I'm geared up to make sack lunches and take pictures.

We've got Kambree packed. Wonders of wonders. She started packing yesterday afternoon.

Yesterday was a crazy, crying day. 

My three girls sang in sacrament meeting and I bawled through that. Then we had a new bishop called and I realized that this bishop will probably be the bishop that sends Austin off on his mission in less than three years and I got all teary over that. Then we had a fabulous lesson in RS and I cried during that. At home I manged to get a cake made, something figured out for dinner later and Kambree going on her packing before going to my Enrichment Board meeting. Rushed home to take Kambree to the Stake Patriarchs for her blessing-which was beautiful-and I got a little weepy during that. Came home made dinner, then finished up Kambree's laundry and helped her load up our cars and went to the ice cream social to meet and greet the new bishop and say goodbye to the old bishop. Got a little verklempt there too as people keep wishing Kambree luck and asking me how I was handling her leaving.

Gee wiz. 

I hope I'm all cried out and I don't cry all the way home after dropping off Kambree. Well, let's be honest, worse case? It's a two hour drive, I should be done before I get home....right?
Please tell me this is normal and wish me luck!

Off to college!

(This is me, my freshman year in college!)

I remember-like yesterday-the day I left for college. I had been stock piling kitchen supplies in my room for weeks. Plastic wrap, tin foil, plates, silverware etc. 

Once I got out on my own I remember thinking how mature, stable and invincible my parents were. They always had food in their cupboards, fridge and stocked in the food storage room. They bought economy size laundry soap for heaven's sake! Upon realizing just how much laundry soap costs....I was sure they were loaded! I always knew my parents would bail me out, they didn't pay for school but they paid for my car insurance, made sure I had a car-that ran, paid for my health insurance, allowed me to take anything I wanted from their food storage AND do all the laundry I could possibly do in a weekend!

Before I left for school I was raring to go! The days couldn't get there fast enough. I just couldn't wait to fly the coop. I think I had rolled my eyes behind my mothers back about 150 times that last month all the while thinking "I can't wait until I move out!" 

The golden day finally arrived! My brother, Jeff and cousin, Roland loaded up my stuff in my dad's truck and followed me to BYU-to my off campus-cheapest rent-apartment and I was the first roommate to arrive and no one else was arriving until the next day. My best friend, not for two days.

They dropped off my stuff, hugged me goodbye and were gone. I quickly unpacked and organized all my drawers, closet and kitchen and then, I sat. It was very quiet. I rearranged a few cupboards.Then I sat again.  I was all alone in this run down apartment, in a town where I knew no one, and no one was arriving until the next day. Suddenly I was a little sad. More than a little sad. I was lonely. 

This was long before the days of cell phones but there was a land line in my apartment and guess who I called? 

My MOM!
The person who I wanted to move away from for the past year!
(I think I even had to call collect!)

I'm not sure, but I might have cried about my lonely situation and my mom jumped in the car and drove to Provo that very afternoon.
My very first night, on my own, in my very own apartment and the roommate in the bed next to me was....

my mom!

Not only did she stay the night with me but she brought her own personal cleaning supplies and we cleaned that apartment from top to bottom. Scouring the tubs and pouring bleach on the counter tops. Then she took me to McFrugals (now known as Big Lots) and bought me cute decorations for my kitchen walls and to the mall for a new pair of jeans and shirt for my first day of class.

I look back thinking about how invincible, strong and stable my parents seemed and I realized they probably felt just like I do right now. Worried, scared and not sure if they were read to let me go. 

I was the first one to go to college. My mother had never lived on her own. They knew nothing about scholarships, books, financial aid etc. This was all new territory for them and yet they never let on. And they never confessed their fears. They just loved me. They encouraged me and they supported me the best they could. 

My poor Dad. That winter my car wouldn't start. I called. He told me to pop the hood. Once I figured out how to release the hood and get it open I gasped!! "Dad, someone has stolen something out of my engine!" "What?" he asked. There was a big space in my engine where I'm sure some carburetor-oil-exhaust-battery-thingy should go. He drove to Provo only to inform me nothing was missing under my hood and jump my dead battery.

That wasn't the only car rescue that year or in the years to come.**

In time I learned a thing or two about cars. But not much more than two things-just ask James!

And now, here we are. Sending our first baby to college. 

(Sniff)

I know she's ready. I know she'll do wonderful, have fun and make good friends and  life lasting memories. I am so proud of her for making such good choices and getting to this point in her life. I hope she embraces college life with two open arms, a big smile and a "bring it on" attitude!

And in the event she needs a rescue or two....we are just a speed dial, text or email away!

(This is me with my roommates my sophomore year-I'm in the middle in the white shirt!)

**So, speaking of cars. I asked Devree to send James a text on my phone telling him that "Yes, I think the air you put in my tires has solved the alignment problem." He has been asking me about it and honestly I never consciously think "Hum...is the car still pulling to the right?" when I'm actually IN the car. So I was so proud of myself for responding-only a week after James asked-about the alignment situation. 
Later that day my Dad called. He and my mom are on vacation. I picked up the call and could tell he was there but couldn't hear anything. He didn't call back. Later that day I got worried , thinking maybe something was wrong? I called and again, I could tell he was on the phone but I couldn't hear anything. So I called my mom's phone. Same thing. Minutes later my mom is calling from my Dad's truck phone. We finally have a connection. I asked if everything was alright?

Yes. 

Why did you call earlier earlier? Dd you need something.

No. Dad just wanted to make sure your car was alright. 

What? 

Your car. Is everything okay? Are you having problems?

What?
You sent dad a text?

(It takes me a minute to figure out what has happened) OH MY HECK!! Devree sent the text to DAD in my cell phone not James. (Like, I have James listed as Dad in my cell phone?) I explained and they laughed. So here they are ON vacation-in some remote camp spot-with terrible cell coverage-and STILL trying to take care of me!! Good grief!

Lying....our never ending battle.

This is long and wordy. I'm posting just because I'm looking for suggestions and/or consolation. I'm pretty sure we're not the only family dealing with honesty issues with our adopted child but some days it sure feels like it!

So....Alex has been working hard to get his money for studying 5 days a week all summer. He had three days left and knew exactly what he wanted to buy with his loot. An air-soft bb gun that looks like a machine gun. (Heaven help us!) Cost $59.99. He has $85 dollars coming but part of the deal was that out of the money he earned he would buy his own school shoes. He was disgusted to find that the shoes he wanted cost FORTY DOLLARS??? And quickly decided to buy some cheap clearance shoes that he did not like for $11. I nixed that idea.  We decided to try Big 5 where we found some he liked (regularly $39.99) on sale for $19.99. So with tax he spent $21.36. He would have $63.64 for his air soft gun. He needs $64.05 (with tax*) but luckily he has $4.50 from last weeks allowance. 

He's done all the math and so very excited. Asking if we can go Friday after he studies? "Probably" was my answer. (I never say "Yes!" because life isn't a for sure and Alex will pout and complain if for some odd reason we are unable to go at the designated date and time. Yep, NOT a first time mom. I use "probably" with all my children. Probably is the best answer I ever give. Besides, probably is more yes than no.)
Yesterday he started his studying and decided to read later in the day. That's fine. He knows the rules. He has to be done before 9:30 pm and he has to do it on his own without hounding from me. (Hello? The whole point of paying him to study this summer is to relieve some of MY responsibility and constant nagging!) He went to the pool with Austin and Rylee that afternoon and took his book. Came home and played Wii for a few hours, went to scouts and then came home and watched  a show for an hour before bed. 

When tucking him in I asked him to tell me the truth-even though its going to be really hard-

Did you read today? 

No. 

Okay, what should we do?

Give five dollars?

Okay, so here's where I'm soft. I KNOW how bad he wants this gun. I know how hard he's worked. AND he's told me the truth. There should be some reward in that. Shouldn't there? So I suggested that maybe just this time-because he told the truth when he could have easily lied-how about if he reads for an hour tomorrow-instead of thirty minutes-to make up for today? He agreed. 

Whew.

This morning I heard him set the timer-he has to time his reading as he'll read for ten minutes and then pronounce he's done-I don't think this is a lying issue as much as a confusion about time-it was sometime after eight am. Like 8:15 am. I had gotten up early for a bike ride and was laying back down-savoring the last few days of summer and no early morning routine. At 8:35 I heard the timer go off. I came downstairs. Alex asked if I could get him on his blog for his journal. 

Did you do your reading?

Yes.

Sixty minutes?

Yes.

Did you time it?

Yes.

Show me.

He showed me how he punched sixty minutes into the microwave.

Alex, what time did you get up?

7:53

What time is it now?

8:37

Alex you haven't even been awake for sixty minutes. How could you have read for sixty minutes?

He looks down. (Sure sign of being caught in a lie.)

Alex, how long did you really set the time for.

Twenty minutes.

I am hurt more than mad. I am hurt for me but I also hurt for him. 

So what just happened?

I lied.

What should we do?

Keep my $5.

Okay. Just work on today's studies.

I had to think for awhile and I made breakfast why he sat and sighed and started studying. Now he will not have enough money for his gun. That in itself is going to be traumatic but what is it that makes him think that he can get away with lying? Why would he lie about something that is so dumb? So easy to be caught? Why can't he get it through his head?
We had a long talk complete with tears and drama. Alex is his own judge, jury and executioner of his own guilt. He's proclaimed in the past "I am bad. I cannot stop lying. I don't deserve family. You should put sign on me saying he lies"  Today it was just "I am bad for family!" and sobbing. We talked about who he is listening to when he lies, and who puts these thoughts of worthlessness in his head after he lies. We talked about trust, we talked about being able to look at himself in the mirror. Of course he's crying-hiding his eyes. Not looking at me. I get him to look in my eyes and admit he can see love in my eyes. We talk about eyes being a  window to our soul and and that never have I ever regretted bringing him into our family. Our talk ended with a big hug and back rub.
((Sigh))

I have also taken away his video game privileges until I feel he is trustworthy. Not sure when that will be. But I know the Wii is a huge pull to hurry through-lie if necessary-and get done with his studies. Last time I dealt with this he admitted he lied because he wanted to play Zelda. I know it sounds harsh to have an indefinite time grounded from video games but maybe having this privilege revoked will be painful enough to think first before he lies?

I really don't know.
I've tried every avenue. We've hit this lying issue over and over. He doesn't lie about earth shattering important things but any lie is a lie. I need to be able to trust him.
I told Alex I needed to share with his siblings that he will not be playing video games and Austin asked "Why?" I told him he'd have to ask Alex. "For lying again?" asked Austin. Alex nodded. "Dude! I told you that you need to stop that. You always get caught. Either cut it out or be a better liar!"  Thanks Austin. The first part about "cut it out" was great but "or be a better liar" we could do without!
((Sigh))

*Tax: New concept for Alex. He was sure his tax was $1.38 for his gun because that's what it was for his shoes. We had to go over percentages and that tax is different based on how much you're spending. Not just a flat $1.38 every time!

Suggestions??

Fix it up,

Wear it out.

Make it do

Or do without!

 

That is my motto for back to school this year. I went through every one's closets to see what we had to work with and what things we specifically needed for back to school clothes. Besides it will be warm for awhile-they can wear their shorts the first couple of months. (I so remember wearing my new winter sweater the first day of school and just sweltering!)

Rylee informed me she needs a new back pack. 

"What's wrong with your back pack?" 

"Nothing. But I always get a new back pack." 

That might be why I had so much crap to give away Saturday? We need to stop replacing things that have life and wear still left in them.

Seriously.

We can live with so much less stuff! Even Alex-who owned nothing and wore cast off clothing that were too small (and sometimes for girls) for the first ten years has become "Americanized" so quickly. Last Sunday morning he nicely told me that next time I go to the store he needs new Sunday shoes because the one's I bought six months ago are starting to hurt his toes. (This from the boy that took back Rylee's size 3 cleats to the orphanage and wore them daily when his foot was a size five!) I'm sure they might be getting small but I thought he would  have remembered that he has a brand new pair of bigger shoes in his closet? (I bought way to big of shoes last Christmas and after making him wear them a couple of months-looking like clown feet and complaining-I did buy him a smaller size!) Nope, he didn't remember-it's just easier to ask for new shoes!

I explained to Ry that we need to be careful with our money. Many people are out of work and struggling to make ends meet and we are blessed because Dad has a good job and we need to try and save our money and be conservative.
She was okay with that and content to keep her back pack for another year.

Later that day-while I was on the computer looking for a 2nd hand laptop for Kambree for college-Alex came and asked if Austin will take this laptop to college too? Poor guy, what he's trying to find out is, are we going to buy everyone a laptop for college? And/or if this very laptop is going to someday be his?

We had a quick talk about how we just don't know. What if the laptop breaks? (Which I am sure will be the case-like we're going to get this laptop to keep working for the next seven years?) If we have the money to help our kids we certainly will but what if we can't? What if Dad loses his job or things change? To which he sincerely replied with deep concern, "I hope Dad NEVER loses his job." 

Me too bud, me too.

So, blogging word. I want my children to be conservative, appreciative and considerate of our fiance's yet, I don't want them to be fearful and concerned. How do I achieve that balance? What's your suggestions?

 

Rylee & Alex's New Glasses!

How interesting that I took the kids in for eye exams last year and they didn't need glasses and this year they both do! 

We've known from the get go that Alex has a stigmatism-he had an eye exam while we were hosting him-but when we brought him home last year it wasn't bad enough to justify glasses. Rylee has always had perfect sight. Then BAM! They each grew three inches and now need glasses. Alex's are just for reading, watching TV, seeing distances-he can play without them-thank goodness. Rylee needs her's ALL the time. Good grief.

Truly all our children got James' vision issues. Alex included. 

Another funny thing. When fitting Alex for his glasses he had a hard time with the nose piece fitting right. Rylee turned to me and said "That's because he has a bump on his nose like yours!"I looked at Alex and winked. He just grinned. So yep, he's ours. James vision and my bump!

Alex Phrases & Update

These phrases I have been collecting for the past two weeks:

That doesn't mean any sense!

Choose with your mouth closed!

I am going to baptisms for the deaf.

Can I spill it in the thing?
(Asking if he can  pour the bucket of cleaning water down the sink.)

Ella, stop licking your vagina.
(The DOG was licking her bottom. And, yes. We use atomically correct words in our house.Although I think the word bottom would suffice in this sentence and sound a whole lot nicer!)

While opening the fridge after coming in from playing outside:
A: (Sighing) It's hot in here.
Me: What? It's hot in the fridge? (Starting to panic!)
A: Oh  I mean it's cool in here. Cool & refreshing! (I have never heard him use refreshing before!)

When asking how my cookies were I got a thumbs up and an "Addictive!" Another word I've never heard him use before.

 Yesterday we went to swim and have lunch with a few other families that have adopted through Save A Child foundation. One of Alex's friends/classmates from the orphanage arrived home this weekend. The first BOY from his orphanage that has been adopted.
You would think when we get these kids together that they'd love to talk and catch up, maybe compare notes about parents? Reminisce about other friends? But nope.
After an HOUR Alex seemed to warm up to Benson but since I'm sure Benson's English is little at best and Alex's Ukraine is very rough I'm not sure they communicated much.
When I did talk to Alex he explained that he said "Hi" to Benson and "Do you remember me?" Benson nodded and that was the extent of their conversation. I asked if he asked him how he likes his new family? America? Anything? What did you talk about while you were playing?
"Nothing. We were just playing"
There were other boys and girls there too. Some very similar in age and yet if they weren't from his orphanage he didn't give them the time of day.
Odd.
If I were living in a forigen country and was put in a social situation with lots of people from my native country I would be talking and socializing with everyone.
Alex's comment on the way into the party was that he hoped his friend Cameron would be there. Uh....Cameron is his neighborhood friend. I explained that this is just a party for families that have adopted from Ukraine. Without him we wouldn't have been invited. He sighed and asked "Why we have to have party with Ukraine kids?"
Humm....anyone else have this issue?
I'm sure part of it is the language issue. Many of these kids are still fluent as they have a group of Ukraine friends they still hang with here in America and others were adopted in pairs so there's a sibling to keep the language up with. Alex honestly cannot understand much besides the basics and claims everyone talks so fast. But I think it's more than that. I think he wants so much to close that chapter in his life. Move on. Forget about it. Is that healthy? We have never referred negatively to Ukraine-at least in front of him. We try to cook Ukraine food sometimes, I have decorations from Ukraine through the house and I have Ukriane things in his room but he's slowly getting rid of them now that I think about it. His Ukraine flag has disappeared and the other day he wanted me to find someone to give his Ukraine book of fables to.
Hum....
On another note. One of my daughters-who shall remain nameless-came home from the pool party and announced that Ukraine boys are HOT! To which Alex proudly proclaimed, "I'll be hot when I grow up too!"
Wow. That's confidence!

Side Note:  Unnamed daughter thought the boy in the white swim trunks was especially cute-not sure who's son he is AND another young man that when I told her was NOT from Ukraine she asked me
"Then what was he was doing there?" Uh....being a sibling to a Ukrainian like you!? Good grief!

Attention bloggy friends!!

Alex is keeping a blog! Please drop by and say hello! His blog address is:
http://alexhasamom.blogspot.com/

Swimming & Rambling....

I calendared swimming every Friday afternoon and I think we made it 3 or was it 4 times out of the whole summer? It didn't help that my sister broke her leg and Amy's daughter broke her arm. The pool's not fun without company-at least for me. So Friday we went one last time. And I think this was the first time I brought my camera this season?

Here's Ry with a friend from school that just happened to be at the pool.

 Here's the broken bone group. 

Rachel with a broken arm and Kammy with her broken leg.

Amy's not broken. 

Devree was on Sydni patrol....

And here's Alex....

with his cousins/built in buddies Brach & Tyler.

I was examining my end of summer tan. Or lack of it. Good thing that the pale vampire look is in right? Now if only gray roots would become stylish.

I spent the day washing down the new tile floor and surround in the kids bath room and cleaning out drawers and closets. ( I LOVE cleaning out stuff!) The standard was "if you won't wear it to school we're not keeping it!" amazing how many things my kids want to keep but won't wear. Crazy. 

I also tried to start dividing the goods. Kambree and Devree share a lot of clothes. Or borrow each others clothes and never return them or I put the wrong jeans in the wrong clean laundry pile and BAM! Now that girl thinks those jeans are hers. So much fun. So with Kambree leaving for school next week it was time to face the music and start dividing and conquering. 

After purging through everyone but James and Kambree's stuff-they will have their day too-they just weren't home today-I dumped everything on the front grass, advertised it on KSL in their FREE section and I went from 6 or 7 garbage bags full of clothe, bags, purses and sheets to haul to the DI to two! 

Sweet!

Note to self: DO NOT BUY things just because they are on sale. Even if they're a dollar. No one will wear them and in time you will run out of hangers, clean out the closets and give them away. Just say no to sale items unless you or someone in the family LOVE it! It's not worth it!

And when you buy new sheets-get rid of the old. Gee wiz. Like you need six sets of sheets hanging around in the linen closet? 

(I did save all the flat white sheets as toga parties seem to be popular at the high school recently and you never know when you need a white sheet to show a movie on or make a ghost costume.)

I also got an offer in on one of my new listings today.

Hallelujah! 

(Insert sounds of angels trumpeting.)

So over all a very productive Saturday.

Tomorrow, Alex passes the sacrament for the first time and Austin is giving a talk on obedience. It's going to be an interesting sacrament meeting...

Sixteen months ago today!

I came across this video while looking through pictures to post on the Mecham's blog a couple of weeks ago. I don't think I ever put it on my blog. This is the day after our ten day wait when I was taking Alex out of the orphanage forever. We were throwing a birthday party for his friend Julia and then leaving. I had forgotten how excited he was to go "da doma"(home)! Just thought I'd share this clip of my cute boy!

Glimpses, Confessions & Life Lessons

So, Alex has roughly two more weeks of studies before he gets his money for studying all summer. He's down to eighty-five dollars. Not bad. That means he only missed studying three times all summer. 

Yesterday we were working on math. Making change actually. He missed almost every problem. He answered that if you bought something for $6.42 and paid with $10.00 you would get back $4. Once again we went over subtracting from zero and carrying the number. He came back with much better answers but still with mistakes. One problem was so easy $100-$80= and he said $9. What? Then he changed to $10. I kept asking him to think about it. He kept insisting it was $10. So I asked him to add $80+$10 and he insisted that was $100!! I finally had to show him it was $20. 

Now, disclaimer here. I am NOT a teacher! Despite Alex's plea to home school him because "You teach me most English", teaching is not my forte. I do NOT have patience and after studying for almost two hours...I was done!!!

"Seriously Alex! Ten dollars? I am worried about you!" And I lit into him about how he should be able to figure this out in his head. This is simple math. I know. Not positive. Not encouraging and as I'm berating him it dawns on me that he just completed an entire worksheet with similar but much more difficult math and done it perfectly.
Ah-ha!
The light dawns.
I don't think the problem is the math!
It's his pride!
He was sticking to that $10 answer like a pit bull dog on a T-bone. So I started in on him about pride and being open minded enough to be teachable-that he cannot learn with this stubborn pride. His eyes are starting to water at this point and he won't look at me. I hate it when he won't look at me. But I've learned when this happens that angry won't get me anywhere. When he won't look at me...he's leaving. Emotionally.
I pulled him into my arms took a deep breath and dug deep. "Alex, where are you?"  "Here." he said. (Sometimes he's back there. Very far from here. He's in his past.)  "Then look at me." and he did.
He didn't look away and as I looked in his tear filled eyes I had a glimpse. A split second glimpse. A glimpse of how his life is. The feeling of ALWAYS being wrong. Corrected. Laughed at. Made fun of. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. And for just a second I felt how he must feel every day. All day. Day in and day out.
I softly explained that no one likes to be wrong. And that I know he is wrong...a lot. I know it hurts. I know that people are always correcting his English, making fun of how he talks, laughing at his sentence structure etc. Tears just streamed down his face.  His hurt so evident. I held him and rubbed his back and kissed his forehead and told him I know. I understand. It hurts.
As I held him we talked about how he has had to do so much more than learn English. How he has had to learn how to live in a family, be not only a son but a brother, take care of things, do chores-and do them well-take baths, match his clothes, empty his pockets, learn manners, go to church, and the list went on. Then I looked deep into his eyes and told him how amazing he is doing and how sorry I am that I don't tell him enough how amazing he is! He just sobbed and nuzzled into my arms and let me hold him like a baby.
Once he gained some composure, we laughed about some of the things he's had to learn and we talked about how we find his silly sentence structures cute, endearing and funny. We're not making fun of him-unlike some of the boys at scout camp who really did make fun of him-we're just enjoying him and find him funny. I told him wouldn't it be funny if someone was learning Ukrainian and instead of saying "I love my Babushka (grandma),  she is my favorite person." They said "I love my Bambuska (roll)...." He laughed with me.
I don't think he takes too much offense when we-his family-laugh because he laughs with us for the most part. I think it's hard when his peers laugh or make fun. He's not sure if they're laughing with him or at him. And kids can be very cruel. Alex never brings up these offenses. He just keeps it to himself. (Which is ironic as he tattles on his siblings day in and out but never when it comes to them or someone hurting him.)  I actually found out about scout camp via a mom who's son told her that some of the other scouts kept making fun of Alex during camp. When I brought it up with Alex days after he just shrugged and said "Yes. They make fun of me."

Then I confessed that I don't tell him how great he is very often because when I do he acts as if he's mastered the English language and doesn't need to work on it anymore or he is now a professional or master of whatever I complimented him on.
We talked about when we're studying he needs to forget his pride and just let me or his teacher teach. He needs to open his mind and be teachable. To not rush and stubbornly refuse to consider other options.
Then I told him I would try harder to tell him how awesome and amazing he is if he would keep trying to learn and grow and not think he's "all that" when I do.

It's true. I rarely praise or compliment him. And you know he's not getting that from his siblings or peers either. I didn't really realize it until this little glimpse I had. He tries so hard and although he doesn't always do his best-he keeps trying and I'm always asking for more. I feel such a rush to get him caught up. He's so very far behind scholastically, socially, and I worry. I worry about him all the time. So when he does something well, I give him a quick "good job" and then push for more. Besides, when I have praised him in the past he gets so cocky-and he's already cocky by nature-so I've just stopped praising. In my defense I do say thank you or good job...a lot!  But that's not praise. That's not, "Wow! You are amazing!", "You are awesome!", "I can't believe how smart you are!"  And he needs that.
He needs it like a three year old needs it because sometimes he IS that three year old. When he was three he was getting beat and forced to shoplift. He was unfed and uncared for. But unlike a three year old who can prance around proclaiming how great he is after being praised-it's not so endearing coming from a twelve year old. In fact it's irritating. So in order to not be irritated and annoyed by his gangster-hip-hop-cocky attitude when complimented. I just stopped doing it. And I didn't even realize. 
So, our next life lesson for Alex?
Accepting a compliment or praise without letting it go to his head!
For me?
Dishing out those compliments and praise with two hands!

(Sigh)

So much to learn. 

For both of us.