Lying....our never ending battle.

This is long and wordy. I'm posting just because I'm looking for suggestions and/or consolation. I'm pretty sure we're not the only family dealing with honesty issues with our adopted child but some days it sure feels like it!

So....Alex has been working hard to get his money for studying 5 days a week all summer. He had three days left and knew exactly what he wanted to buy with his loot. An air-soft bb gun that looks like a machine gun. (Heaven help us!) Cost $59.99. He has $85 dollars coming but part of the deal was that out of the money he earned he would buy his own school shoes. He was disgusted to find that the shoes he wanted cost FORTY DOLLARS??? And quickly decided to buy some cheap clearance shoes that he did not like for $11. I nixed that idea.  We decided to try Big 5 where we found some he liked (regularly $39.99) on sale for $19.99. So with tax he spent $21.36. He would have $63.64 for his air soft gun. He needs $64.05 (with tax*) but luckily he has $4.50 from last weeks allowance. 

He's done all the math and so very excited. Asking if we can go Friday after he studies? "Probably" was my answer. (I never say "Yes!" because life isn't a for sure and Alex will pout and complain if for some odd reason we are unable to go at the designated date and time. Yep, NOT a first time mom. I use "probably" with all my children. Probably is the best answer I ever give. Besides, probably is more yes than no.)
Yesterday he started his studying and decided to read later in the day. That's fine. He knows the rules. He has to be done before 9:30 pm and he has to do it on his own without hounding from me. (Hello? The whole point of paying him to study this summer is to relieve some of MY responsibility and constant nagging!) He went to the pool with Austin and Rylee that afternoon and took his book. Came home and played Wii for a few hours, went to scouts and then came home and watched  a show for an hour before bed. 

When tucking him in I asked him to tell me the truth-even though its going to be really hard-

Did you read today? 

No. 

Okay, what should we do?

Give five dollars?

Okay, so here's where I'm soft. I KNOW how bad he wants this gun. I know how hard he's worked. AND he's told me the truth. There should be some reward in that. Shouldn't there? So I suggested that maybe just this time-because he told the truth when he could have easily lied-how about if he reads for an hour tomorrow-instead of thirty minutes-to make up for today? He agreed. 

Whew.

This morning I heard him set the timer-he has to time his reading as he'll read for ten minutes and then pronounce he's done-I don't think this is a lying issue as much as a confusion about time-it was sometime after eight am. Like 8:15 am. I had gotten up early for a bike ride and was laying back down-savoring the last few days of summer and no early morning routine. At 8:35 I heard the timer go off. I came downstairs. Alex asked if I could get him on his blog for his journal. 

Did you do your reading?

Yes.

Sixty minutes?

Yes.

Did you time it?

Yes.

Show me.

He showed me how he punched sixty minutes into the microwave.

Alex, what time did you get up?

7:53

What time is it now?

8:37

Alex you haven't even been awake for sixty minutes. How could you have read for sixty minutes?

He looks down. (Sure sign of being caught in a lie.)

Alex, how long did you really set the time for.

Twenty minutes.

I am hurt more than mad. I am hurt for me but I also hurt for him. 

So what just happened?

I lied.

What should we do?

Keep my $5.

Okay. Just work on today's studies.

I had to think for awhile and I made breakfast why he sat and sighed and started studying. Now he will not have enough money for his gun. That in itself is going to be traumatic but what is it that makes him think that he can get away with lying? Why would he lie about something that is so dumb? So easy to be caught? Why can't he get it through his head?
We had a long talk complete with tears and drama. Alex is his own judge, jury and executioner of his own guilt. He's proclaimed in the past "I am bad. I cannot stop lying. I don't deserve family. You should put sign on me saying he lies"  Today it was just "I am bad for family!" and sobbing. We talked about who he is listening to when he lies, and who puts these thoughts of worthlessness in his head after he lies. We talked about trust, we talked about being able to look at himself in the mirror. Of course he's crying-hiding his eyes. Not looking at me. I get him to look in my eyes and admit he can see love in my eyes. We talk about eyes being a  window to our soul and and that never have I ever regretted bringing him into our family. Our talk ended with a big hug and back rub.
((Sigh))

I have also taken away his video game privileges until I feel he is trustworthy. Not sure when that will be. But I know the Wii is a huge pull to hurry through-lie if necessary-and get done with his studies. Last time I dealt with this he admitted he lied because he wanted to play Zelda. I know it sounds harsh to have an indefinite time grounded from video games but maybe having this privilege revoked will be painful enough to think first before he lies?

I really don't know.
I've tried every avenue. We've hit this lying issue over and over. He doesn't lie about earth shattering important things but any lie is a lie. I need to be able to trust him.
I told Alex I needed to share with his siblings that he will not be playing video games and Austin asked "Why?" I told him he'd have to ask Alex. "For lying again?" asked Austin. Alex nodded. "Dude! I told you that you need to stop that. You always get caught. Either cut it out or be a better liar!"  Thanks Austin. The first part about "cut it out" was great but "or be a better liar" we could do without!
((Sigh))

*Tax: New concept for Alex. He was sure his tax was $1.38 for his gun because that's what it was for his shoes. We had to go over percentages and that tax is different based on how much you're spending. Not just a flat $1.38 every time!