9th Grade Dutch Oven Cook Off!

This is the 2nd night of practicing. Here's Devree riding a stick (aka firewood) over to the fire pit.

Roasting Marshmallows because there's a fire and hot coals....so why not?

The "All American Girl Cafe"

Menu:

Tangy Chicken

Cheesy Potatoes

Mississippis Mud Pie

Missing post!

How weird is that?

Yesterday I wrote two post and the last one titled "Opinion Please?" has disappeared. 

Very weird.

I know for a fact I wrote it because I have comments in my inbox on it. 

Bizarre. 

Anyone ever have entire posts just disappear?

Fetal Alcohol Syndrom

I wanted to share this article. 

I am wondering if some of the issues we have had with Alex and continue to have, might be from FAS? He's not horrible but the issues with time and money,  remembering the rules, telling him things over and over all apply to him.

It was so interesting I thought I'd post the whole article here for those of you who may be in a similar situation.

 

The Visible Kid with the Invisible Disability© 2003 Teresa Kellerman

Hey, look at me! Do you think I'm cute? On the outside, I look just like any other kid - friendly, playful, and full of energy. But there's something about me on the inside that you can't see - how my brain was messed up before birth by alcohol. You can't see the tangled connections and all the little empty spaces in my brain. Unless you can see inside my head, you can't see that I have - what's it called? Static En-ceph-al-o-pathy.
But what you can see is how silly I act when I am out in public. You can see how immature I am, especially when you compare me with other kids my age. And you always notice when I get out of control and "lose it" when things get to be too much for me to handle.
Can you see how embarrassed I get when I can't control my behavior? And how frustrated I get when I forget the rules - again? And my anger when I get blamed for trouble over and over? You probably can, because you can see my feelings plastered all over my face.You say I'm a problem. But I'm not a problem. I have a problem. I have Static Encephalopathy. The doctor told me what that means - my brain damage won't get any worse, but it won't get any better either. It's forever.
You can always hear me, because I talk a lot, to anyone who will listen. When you ask me a question, an answer just pops out, whether it's true or not. I'm good at telling you what you want to hear. I can fool people into thinking I really understand what they are telling me. I don't want anyone to think I'm stupid.
I also act like I can take care of myself. But it's hard for me to figure out time and money. I can't even make change for a dollar. I can't remember what I got in trouble for yesterday. You probably think I should learn from my mistakes. But I can't. It's not that I don't know the rules - I do. It's not that I don't understand consequences - I do. I just can't make myself do what I know I should do. I don't know why - I just can't.Maybe you notice that I don't have a lot of common sense. I'm the one who goes along with the wrong crowd, who gets sucked into doing some really stupid things. And I'm the one who usually gets caught.My teacher always tells me, "You should know better than that!" And I do know better. I just can't be better. The doctor says it has to do with "lack of impulse control and poor judgment" are from damage to my brain before I was born.
My Dad says, "Just grow up." He says I act half my age. The researchers say "arrested social development" is common in kids like me who are alcohol affected. That means the only thing that will grow up will be my body.Everybody can see that I'm friendly and affectionate. But nobody can see how lonely I am. I have lots of "friends" but they never come over or call me. I don't have a best friend. But I pretend like I do. I wish I had a dog.I'm not afraid of anything or anybody.
I'm not afraid of strangers, or of heights, or of unsafe sex. I'm not afraid of the dangers of the real world.
Should I be? Maybe I forget. Even when people tell me things over and over, I still forget. The psychologist says I have a problem processing information, that I have memory deficits and attention deficit disorder and hyperactivity. Yep, that's me all right!
You probably think my mom is over-protective. But she knows how easy it is for others to take advantage of me. Sometimes I think my mom is too strict, because she doesn't let me go to the park by myself or spend the night at my cousin's. I guess she knows that I can't behave properly unless she's right by my side, and she doesn't want me to get into big trouble. Like last year when I got too "friendly" with the little girl next door. I didn't know that was "inappropriate." (I hate that word.) Mom said I could get arrested for doing something like that, which really scared me. But my conscience doesn't seem to work right. I don't want to make people mad. I don't want to be "inappropriate." I don't want to be bad.
I just want to be accepted, and understood. Not blamed and shamed. I want to be appreciated for the good things. Do you notice those?
I want you to care, even when I act like I don't. I want to be respected. And I need you to be a good role model for me so I can learn to be respectful too.
And most of all I don't want you to say bad things about my birth mom because she drank when she was pregnant. Maybe she couldn't stop drinking. Maybe her doctor told her it was okay to drink when she was pregnant. Maybe she just did what everybody else was doing. I'm not making excuses for her behavior, or for mine. Maybe she didn't think about what she was doing. Maybe she had Static Encephalopathy too, just like me. But nobody could see.

Ry's Spring Dance Recital

Behind stage. Entertaining themselves.....

More behind stage....

I was the "mom in charge" during the dress rehearsal so I got all the behind the scenes shots and video. This is her first year dancing two numbers and having a costume change. The little girls were all so funny trying to hide behind tables and under the piano to change. Finally I held up a blanket in the corner so the could have a little "dressing" room. I also got out a couple of compacts with mirrors so they could glue on the little glitter stars by their eyes. One of the the girls said "Sometimes moms are good for stuff." Geez. Thanks. 

I got to view the actual performance from the audience. The kids and my parents came as well. The boys were thrilled. Here they are "game-boying" it through the entire recital. (They do watch Rylee's numbers but besides that, they're glued to their games. Well, they might look up when the older girls dance too but for the most part they look like this.)

Afterwards, Austin was trying to show his "This is how my face looks after sitting through a dance concert" look but he looks more or less stoned.

With Grandma!

Kambree had a date but made her date come then they left to go bowling.

I wanted to get a candid photo of Alex wandering around in the lobby while everyone is hugging the dancers and congratulating them and he is  STILL game-boying and not looking up. However, he knew I was taking his picture and just had to grin. So, he looks a little crazy-obsessed with his game in this picture.

The following clips are for you James!

The whole ballet dance.....

The back stage view of the finale....

And a short clip of the finale 

Afterwards we went to Sub Zero Ice Cream with mine and Rylee's friends. 

I should have taken some pictures of the three of the girls together but I've been a lame picture taker lately. I didn't even get a full shot of her ballet outfit. Or any video of the tap number. Grrr....

But I have many chances to make up for it. 

I only have ONE recital down. I have

two more recitals, two choir concerts, two promotions, and one Dutch Oven Cook off to go! 

Mothers Day 2011

I had a great Mother's Day.

Normally, Rylee (and now with the help of Alex) makes me breakfast in bed but this year we had a 9 am missionary farewell to go to so I let them off the hook and we had donuts for breakfast. (You know your day is going to be great when you plan donuts for breakfast!)
I woke up to find these on the kitchen counter....

(It say's "Mom feel appreciated!")
A box of chocolates from Austin.

 (I'm pretty sure this is the first Mother's Day gift he's given me since making stuff in 5th grade!)
We went to the farewell. Dropped in to see my Grandma and wish her a happy Mothers Day and then came home and I was showered with gifts!

My cute Ry with her hand made gifts from school and primary.

The girls wrapped their gifts in their blankets! (They get this trait from their father- but he usually uses a Wal-mart bag!)

Alex told me "It is a little present but you will love it!"

And I did!

Skyp/Kiss-ing with James.

I have wanted a wooden salad bowl for years! Thanks Kambree!

 Devree & Rylee bought me an automatic Ice Tea Maker.

And here I am with my stash. They really spoiled me.

We went to my parents for dinner and my dad had planned a lovely BBQ - but we ate inside due to the terrible weather.   Kambree made a spinach/strawberry salad and this cake. I think it turned out darling!

Dad insisted that Mom and I do nothing. 

So we didn't.

We didn't lift a finger.

It was fabulous!

This morning I went to correct Alex's journal entry for Monday. He writes on Sunday too but that is the day I don't correct his entry. I want him to write from his heart and not worry about me critiquing it. In fact, I try not to even read it but I did this week and want to document it as part of my Mother's Day. (Here it is without editing.)

Today is mothers day. I gave a very good present for mom it is a necalas and erings. Devree and Rylee gave mom an iced tea maker. Kambree gave her a woden salad poll. I am grateful that mom can have this day because she is the best mom in the worold.

 Hallmark couldn't have said it better....

Thanks kids! Without you I wouldn't be a mother or have this day!

Mothers Day Memories....

 Two years ago I celebrated my first Mothers Day as a mother of FIVE children.

It was pretty traumatic for Alex:
Here is the post about the day:

http://blessedwitharichhart.blogspot.com/2009/05/mothers-day.html
And pictures:
http://blessedwitharichhart.blogspot.com/2009/05/mothers-day-pictures.html

But then he had only been home a week or so and everything was traumatic.

Taking a bath

Losing at video games

Going to school

Doing the dishes

It was all traumatic and filled with tears and drama.

My how times has changed.

Last night the girls and I were watching a "girl" show (according to Alex)  in the family room so, Alex had asked for permission to watch  a Jackie Chan (pronounced "Chackie Chan" by him) cartoon in my office. Around eight o'clock he popped his head in and told me he was going to go take his bath. Pretty soon we heard a noise and Devree hit mute on the TV. Alex was signing at the TOP of his lungs in the shower. Like belting it! Something about America. (A song he's learning and performing with his class for 6th grade promotion.) It was hilarious. And he just kept singing and singing. Finally I just had to sneak up there with the video camera. This really needed documentation. While standing in the dark hallway recording his crooning he decided to kick it up a notch and sing it in a high falsetto voice. I was trying so hard not to giggle in the hall and alert him to my secret taping. I quickly hurried downstairs before he exited.

When he came down all squeaky clean the girls applauded.

He came into the kitchen where I was downloading the video onto my MAC and hearing himself on the video, grinned at me.

"I'm going to sing you that song for promotion Mom!"

"Really? I love it!"

Then with a dry and deadpan voice he says
"Don't put that on your bog!"
(Which was my intent! Oh....he knows me so well!)

So, sorry my friends. 

I've been denied the permission to share with you the joyous, singing of my son.

My boy.

Now, I have heard Alex sing before. That in itself is not new. He hums, whistles and sings with his I-pod on. He loves music. But this was different.  The freedom and comfort he felt to sing like that made me realize that he was home and that he knew it! He felt so at home that he could just sing at the top of his lungs.

Wow. 

What a difference two years can make.

Disney Week!

One of my friends posted this on FB earlier this week.

"This has been a Disney week: the Prince married the Princess.....

and the bad guy died!"

I don't regularly watch the news - I read it online - except on Monday mornings  I watch it at the gym and even then if my dread - I mean - treadmill is on the back row I can't read the captions so, I just look at the pictures (and try not to look at the clock and how much longer I have to run!).  I so cannot run to the commentary of news people. I don't like to hear myself breath heavy so I listen to my I-pod....loudly! That is where I was when I heard of OBL's death. 

Thinking back, I was at home on 9/11. 

No exactly sure if I had the TV on (this was back in  the day when we had TV on ALL THE TIME) or if someone called me and told me to turn it on.

Both my mom & brother were working as flight attendants.

I immediately called my mom.

No answer - her phone is of course always off when she's in the air.

I called my brother - who had an apartment in Newark - he was not flying.

Whew.
Did he know if mom was?
No.

I told him to turn on the news.

We all were on pins and needles.
Where was mom?
Was she in the air?
Was her plane involved?

I kept calling, every few minutes.
Still no answer.

The news was not announcing/did not know what airline's the planes were flying for.

I sat glued to the TV. 

"Please say anything but Continental." I prayed.

I couldn't envision my life without my mom. 

She had to be okay.

I kept trying her cell phone.

Finally, she picked up!

Never have I felt so relieved to hear her voice.

She had been asleep in her hotel. 

I told her to turn on the news.

All that day we watched the buildings burn....

and then we watched them fall.

What a sad day. 

A man by the name of Mark Twain said, 

I have never wished a man dead but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure."

Evil will always exist, I know that. But at least this week there is one less evil person to threaten my family, my friends and my country.

God Bless America!

Boys vs. Girls

Yesterday, all day James and I discussed our plans for Family Night.

We had great aspirations.

Specific aspirations.

Our goal?

To motivate two sons to work harder and make something of themselves!

How can it be that we have three daughters that are driven. Disciplined. Dedicated.

And two sons that could care less?

The younger of the two is ONLY about fun. If it's not fun. He's not into it. He'll sigh and roll his eyes and slouch around because studying English, doing chores, completing his homework is just not fun!

The big one is only about having fun while he's still young. "Why should I work? I just want to long board all day while I'm still young. I have the rest of my life to work."

What is most bizarre is that these brothers although not "blood brothers" are like peas in a pod!!

Seriously.

It's like the were made from the same mold.

(Upon mentioning it to them, they looked at each other and snickered. The younger one - glowing with pride - to be compared and lumped with the older one!) 

So after talking in circles all day about how we were going to show these son's "the light" and coming up with outrageous off the wall ideas and experiments we just settled for winging it.

I gave each child a piece of paper and had them write down their ideal fun day. 

Oh, this was hard for some.

Kambree was sure it was a trick or some sort of test but she managed to put something down:

Wake up late

Read a book

Go on a hike

Get my hair colored and cut

Shower

Eat whatever I want without getting fat

Go horseback riding

Take a nap and wake up with perfect hair and makeup

Hang out with Holly & Kamille

Go to Western Swing

NOT DO CHORES

Devree's list was divided into do's and don'ts.

Do: Basketball Game * Play Tennis * Bowling * Shopping * Go to rec * Get our nails done * Night of homework * Sledding * Sleep in * Lagoon * Volleyball * Ace the Spanish test * Get hair done * Do things right * Automatic Leg Shaver * Sing like a black lady

Don't: Have a tantrum * Cry * DO CHORES * Have mom nag us about every single thing
(Please note that her idea of FUN is having time to do her homework & doing well on a test! Also I don't know what an automatic leg shaver is. Perhaps a dream invention? Singing like a black lady? Yes, she aspires to have a big, belting voice like those beautiful, big, black gospel women that can "hit it out of the park"!)

Here's Austin's list - in his own words - beware.

Wake up in the morning and have a good bowel movement then go to breakfast at Jim's. Go long boarding with some friends snack throughout the day, go swimming with my buddy, Hayden and maybe some others, head up to PPT (some gym where you can do back flips into a foam pit) with a big social group, go to someones house and chill and talk, play call of Duty Black Ops from 12-3 go to bed sleep in until 10 or 11.

Poor Rylee just couldn't come up with anything.

Not sure if it was too overwhelming or what. 

But she came up with nothing. 

But Alex's list was hilarious. Like Kambree, I think he thought this was a test and he for sure wanted to get it right! (This is the un-edited version)

This I realy want to do are to have a nice day and and don't have talks with my parents. This I really don't want to do is to not write journal. I really want to do is obey my perants and I really want to be trusted.

That was it.
Serious? Just obey and be trusted? That is his idea of FUN??

When pressed for more fun things he came up with "Play with friends?"
Hum.....

(Later he added have his own X-box and play video games)

From now on when he complains of being bored I'm going to tell him he should be having a super fun time because he's obeying and being trusted and I'm not lecturing him!

Well, it wasn't a test. We just talked about if we did fun things everyday, day in day out how boring it would become and that these things are fun because they're special and we work for them. We talked about how when you have too much fun or only fun, you keep trying to build on that fun, take more risks, try more things, perhaps resort to drugs and alcohol to spice things up? (We talked about lots more than that, giving stories and examples but in a nutshell, that was what we were trying to convey.)

Then we talked about every one's strengths and brought up a few issues that they need to work on. Went over the new chore chart  & ate warm chocolate chip cookies and milk. They thought they were done but we excused the girls and invited the boys to meet with us in my office. 

Alex was thrilled. "Come on Broseph we need to go talk to mom & dad!" (Broseph is what Austin started calling Alex and now they both call each other it. It's an endearing term - sort of like Brother & Joseph mixed together.) I'm sure he was thrilled because he had company for one of those dreaded "perant talks"

We sat the boys down and talked to them about how important it is that they learn to work. More than even the girls. That they're going to grow up to be bread winners and if they want a girl/wife with everything, they need to be the guy/husband with everything. 

We talked about feeling a sense of satisfaction at the end of the day, knowing you accomplished something. Anything. 

It went better than expected but I think we lost Alex about 1/2 way through. You could tell Austin was really taking it to heart. Time will tell. We told him doesn't have to get a job if he feels he doesn't need money but he needs to improve himself. Volunteer. Work on his Eagle. Mow & trim the lawn perfectly. Whatever....

Oh, these Manlings of ours. 

Little men, saplings. 

Potential to be great men, oaks. 

Are we giving them enough water, space, sun to help them reach their great potential? 

*Sigh*

Sometimes parenting is so heavy. So serious. Matters so much......

 

Caught In A Contract?

One of Alex's vocabulary words this week is contract. He has taken to trying to use the words in his journal - which I think is fabulous. 

"My mom had to sign a contract that she would take good care of me. I think that was one of the contracts?" 

 You should have seen his face when I told him, "Nope, don't remember signing a contract that I had to take good care of you." (I am sure the court order says something about us providing for him and treating him as our own but no contracts that we signed. Unless it was one of those many unknown papers we signed at the various notaries that were in Ukrainian? But truly, how did we know what we were signing? We just signed away and paid as we went!) 

He sat in silence. 

I asked if he signed a contract that he would be a good boy and always obey his parents?  

No. 

Well, we didn't sing any contracts either.

Then I laughed with my evil witch cackle and tickled him as he laughed.

He needs to know that we're nice and loving because we WANT to be, not because we are contractually required to be. 

Right?

Or is he going to have nightmares tonight?

When we got home he gave me a big hug and told me "I just want to hug you." "Why?" I asked. "Because I just love you so much." 

Yep. That's my boy and now he knows that my love isn't a legal obligation or a contractual agreement.

 I also know that my witch cackle must not be that scary. 

Hum....I think I'll have to work on that!

Life in Bullets!

I am not looking forward to the next three weeks. 

Mainly because my hubby will be gone. Yep, changing hitches...again. Which requires three weeks on then three off to get on the completely opposite hitch. As much as I hate it, I'm really glad he's switching hitches as this hitch gets him home for EVERY major holiday this year and will be well worth the three weeks in the long run.

As I look at the three weeks ahead I want to just jump in bed and cover my head and have someone wake me when James returns. Let me give you some bullets:

• We have not one but TWO dance recitals.
• One piano recital for three children.
• One child trying out for dance company. (Two days of auditions.)
• Mothers Day
• Dance Classes
• Mud guy starting the basement (Hurray!)
• Extra rehearsals for recitals
• Basketball practices twice a week from 6-7:30 (the worst time of the day for a child that cannot drive herself either way!) 
• Weekly Fishing Class
• Scouts
• Young Women'sand
  
  • My first 5K!

In addition to the boring daily stuff like minimal house cleaning, laundry, dinners, curfew control and hours of Alex homework help.

I am looking forward to lunch with my SAC friends and lunch with my friend for her birthday! (I try to find a lot of excuses to go to lunch while James is gone as that is the only "social" life I have.) And I am WAY excited to run for 30 minutes tomorrow as opposed to two 20 minutes sets! I just hope I don't get spit off the back of the treadmill.

Things I am happy to report:

•  All the kids rooms are back together including the two basement rooms with new carpet
• My office has new carpet and is back together and we managed to reconnect the computer and multiple copiers/fax machines and (knock on wood) everything appears to be working and fit for it's intended purpose.
•  Kambree is home with all her college stuff stockpiled for the fall in the corner of her room. 
• Austin has agreed to wear a helmet while long boarding. (That is a feat in its self. It only cost me $43 for a "cool" helmet but way better than permanent brain damage. Right? Bones and road rash will heal.....brain damage doesn't!) 
• I have a home closing a week from tomorrow. (Sounds of angels trumpeting)
• Alex upon getting a quick "door answering 101 etiquette" lesson told me "I will do better next time!" 
• Devree made MAG (Murray All Girls Association) for next year.
• Rylee made a fabulous Strawberry Pie from scratch Friday night
• And the FOOT OF SNOW that we had Saturday morning is melted!!

I attended The Best of EFY on Saturday with our YM/YW and one of the speakers when talking to the girls about opposition and trials told them, "It's time to tie your hair back into a pony-tail and say 'Bring it on!' " and that is how I'm going to approach these next three weeks.

That or I'll crawl back in bed......