Boys vs. Girls

Yesterday, all day James and I discussed our plans for Family Night.

We had great aspirations.

Specific aspirations.

Our goal?

To motivate two sons to work harder and make something of themselves!

How can it be that we have three daughters that are driven. Disciplined. Dedicated.

And two sons that could care less?

The younger of the two is ONLY about fun. If it's not fun. He's not into it. He'll sigh and roll his eyes and slouch around because studying English, doing chores, completing his homework is just not fun!

The big one is only about having fun while he's still young. "Why should I work? I just want to long board all day while I'm still young. I have the rest of my life to work."

What is most bizarre is that these brothers although not "blood brothers" are like peas in a pod!!

Seriously.

It's like the were made from the same mold.

(Upon mentioning it to them, they looked at each other and snickered. The younger one - glowing with pride - to be compared and lumped with the older one!) 

So after talking in circles all day about how we were going to show these son's "the light" and coming up with outrageous off the wall ideas and experiments we just settled for winging it.

I gave each child a piece of paper and had them write down their ideal fun day. 

Oh, this was hard for some.

Kambree was sure it was a trick or some sort of test but she managed to put something down:

Wake up late

Read a book

Go on a hike

Get my hair colored and cut

Shower

Eat whatever I want without getting fat

Go horseback riding

Take a nap and wake up with perfect hair and makeup

Hang out with Holly & Kamille

Go to Western Swing

NOT DO CHORES

Devree's list was divided into do's and don'ts.

Do: Basketball Game * Play Tennis * Bowling * Shopping * Go to rec * Get our nails done * Night of homework * Sledding * Sleep in * Lagoon * Volleyball * Ace the Spanish test * Get hair done * Do things right * Automatic Leg Shaver * Sing like a black lady

Don't: Have a tantrum * Cry * DO CHORES * Have mom nag us about every single thing
(Please note that her idea of FUN is having time to do her homework & doing well on a test! Also I don't know what an automatic leg shaver is. Perhaps a dream invention? Singing like a black lady? Yes, she aspires to have a big, belting voice like those beautiful, big, black gospel women that can "hit it out of the park"!)

Here's Austin's list - in his own words - beware.

Wake up in the morning and have a good bowel movement then go to breakfast at Jim's. Go long boarding with some friends snack throughout the day, go swimming with my buddy, Hayden and maybe some others, head up to PPT (some gym where you can do back flips into a foam pit) with a big social group, go to someones house and chill and talk, play call of Duty Black Ops from 12-3 go to bed sleep in until 10 or 11.

Poor Rylee just couldn't come up with anything.

Not sure if it was too overwhelming or what. 

But she came up with nothing. 

But Alex's list was hilarious. Like Kambree, I think he thought this was a test and he for sure wanted to get it right! (This is the un-edited version)

This I realy want to do are to have a nice day and and don't have talks with my parents. This I really don't want to do is to not write journal. I really want to do is obey my perants and I really want to be trusted.

That was it.
Serious? Just obey and be trusted? That is his idea of FUN??

When pressed for more fun things he came up with "Play with friends?"
Hum.....

(Later he added have his own X-box and play video games)

From now on when he complains of being bored I'm going to tell him he should be having a super fun time because he's obeying and being trusted and I'm not lecturing him!

Well, it wasn't a test. We just talked about if we did fun things everyday, day in day out how boring it would become and that these things are fun because they're special and we work for them. We talked about how when you have too much fun or only fun, you keep trying to build on that fun, take more risks, try more things, perhaps resort to drugs and alcohol to spice things up? (We talked about lots more than that, giving stories and examples but in a nutshell, that was what we were trying to convey.)

Then we talked about every one's strengths and brought up a few issues that they need to work on. Went over the new chore chart  & ate warm chocolate chip cookies and milk. They thought they were done but we excused the girls and invited the boys to meet with us in my office. 

Alex was thrilled. "Come on Broseph we need to go talk to mom & dad!" (Broseph is what Austin started calling Alex and now they both call each other it. It's an endearing term - sort of like Brother & Joseph mixed together.) I'm sure he was thrilled because he had company for one of those dreaded "perant talks"

We sat the boys down and talked to them about how important it is that they learn to work. More than even the girls. That they're going to grow up to be bread winners and if they want a girl/wife with everything, they need to be the guy/husband with everything. 

We talked about feeling a sense of satisfaction at the end of the day, knowing you accomplished something. Anything. 

It went better than expected but I think we lost Alex about 1/2 way through. You could tell Austin was really taking it to heart. Time will tell. We told him doesn't have to get a job if he feels he doesn't need money but he needs to improve himself. Volunteer. Work on his Eagle. Mow & trim the lawn perfectly. Whatever....

Oh, these Manlings of ours. 

Little men, saplings. 

Potential to be great men, oaks. 

Are we giving them enough water, space, sun to help them reach their great potential? 

*Sigh*

Sometimes parenting is so heavy. So serious. Matters so much......