Kambree
Kam is home for conference weekend and my baby girl is growing up!
You hope and pray, as you raise your children, that they will learn everything they need to know. That they will make good choices. That when it comes to dating and selecting a spouse they'll use wise judgment and realize just what a HUGE and important decision they are making.
Kambree's young and she's usually about the chase and once she turns a boys head and he starts liking her, she's done. I like this approach because I don't worry too much about her getting married anytime soon. But last year, I picked up on her turning the heads of some boys that really didn't have her values and ideals. They were fun, party-type guys with a few bad habits. I wasn't too worried because again, she's about the chase but you know what they say...."You always ended up marrying the guys you date." and there were a few guys I didn't want to be calling son in law anytime soon!
So it warmed my heart to lay next to her on her bed last night and hear about the latest boy. Travis. And to hear about his character and the long talks and great personality this boy has. (Truth be told it scared me a little. He's a country boy and they are dangerous. I should know. I married one!) It was nice to hear her admit that she'd been dating guys in the past not up to her standards and that she had made some personal goals and changes in her life.
Now don't get me wrong. I don't want to be planning any weddings anytime soon BUT I love that she's hanging out with guys that can take her to the temple and be a good husband and father because...."You always end up marrying the guys you date!"
Austin
Last week was our primary program. During the last song "Armies of Heleman" the 16 & 17 year old boys had been invited to walk up and sing the last verse with the primary children. I had no idea what song or what the plan was until it happened. So there's Austin up there. Almost 6 foot tall, 185 pounds, suit and tie singing the last verse with the little primary kids:
.
Kam is home for conference weekend and my baby girl is growing up!
You hope and pray, as you raise your children, that they will learn everything they need to know. That they will make good choices. That when it comes to dating and selecting a spouse they'll use wise judgment and realize just what a HUGE and important decision they are making.
Kambree's young and she's usually about the chase and once she turns a boys head and he starts liking her, she's done. I like this approach because I don't worry too much about her getting married anytime soon. But last year, I picked up on her turning the heads of some boys that really didn't have her values and ideals. They were fun, party-type guys with a few bad habits. I wasn't too worried because again, she's about the chase but you know what they say...."You always ended up marrying the guys you date." and there were a few guys I didn't want to be calling son in law anytime soon!
So it warmed my heart to lay next to her on her bed last night and hear about the latest boy. Travis. And to hear about his character and the long talks and great personality this boy has. (Truth be told it scared me a little. He's a country boy and they are dangerous. I should know. I married one!) It was nice to hear her admit that she'd been dating guys in the past not up to her standards and that she had made some personal goals and changes in her life.
Now don't get me wrong. I don't want to be planning any weddings anytime soon BUT I love that she's hanging out with guys that can take her to the temple and be a good husband and father because...."You always end up marrying the guys you date!"
Austin
Last week was our primary program. During the last song "Armies of Heleman" the 16 & 17 year old boys had been invited to walk up and sing the last verse with the primary children. I had no idea what song or what the plan was until it happened. So there's Austin up there. Almost 6 foot tall, 185 pounds, suit and tie singing the last verse with the little primary kids:
.
We know his plan, and we will prepare,
Increase our knowledge through study and prayer.
Daily we’ll learn until we are called
To take the gospel to all the world.
Increase our knowledge through study and prayer.
Daily we’ll learn until we are called
To take the gospel to all the world.
Chorus
We are as the army of Helaman.
We have been taught in our youth.
And we will be the Lord’s missionaries
To bring the world his truth.
We are as the army of Helaman.
We have been taught in our youth.
And we will be the Lord’s missionaries
To bring the world his truth.
Oh my goodness. I lost it. I didn't just cry I sobbed. In my mind it seems like yesterday that he was primary aged, reciting a memorized part, standing up-sitting down, singing -or in Austin's case not really singing. Then to see him standing there practically full grown. Knowing that in less than 18 months time he could be on a mission. I just couldn't stop crying. Devree looked at me like I was crazy. James just patted my shoulder. Austin just rolled his eyes. He thinks I'm crazy too.
Alex
One of the biggest misconceived notions about adopting an orphan is that they'll be eternally grateful. That they'll realize the love and sacrifice spent on their behalf and spend their days thanking you & praising you for your efforts. I've had folks comment on how "happy and grateful" Alex must be about being adopted into our family.
Please.
He's a kid.
Upon arriving home he felt entitled to anything and everything his siblings had. (Think of the spoiled girl on Willy Wonka "I want it all. I want it right now....") After almost a year of him complaining and pointing out all the things that he was still lacking (I-pods, cell phones, etc.) we started his gratitude journal. Each day for over a year and a half he has had to come up with something he's grateful for. Often times he'll look around and write about the first thing he sees. He's mentioned being grateful for pencils, paper, fans, fridges, stoves just about every animate object within eye sight of wherever he is sitting and penning his journal.
That's fine. It's important to appreciate everything you have. (I, myself am very grateful for indoor plumbing, spell check and hair coloring.)
Over the course of the last 18 months of gratitude writing he has also written some sweet and appreciative stuff about having a family. Having a mom. Having a safe place to live.
I.EAT.IT.UP.
I do!
But I'm not a fool. I know a lot of it is written for my benefit. He's a smart kid. He knows what makes me happy and he wants to make me happy. And truthfully they DO make me happy and I'm not complaining as I'd take a penned expression of gratitude - be it just to appease me or in all sincerity - over no expression at all. Anyone would. It's a step in the right direction and honestly, I didn't adopt Alex to have him be eternally grateful, I adopted him because I felt so strongly that he was missing. That he was meant to be ours, that he was ours before this life and we just needed to find him.
One of the biggest misconceived notions about adopting an orphan is that they'll be eternally grateful. That they'll realize the love and sacrifice spent on their behalf and spend their days thanking you & praising you for your efforts. I've had folks comment on how "happy and grateful" Alex must be about being adopted into our family.
Please.
He's a kid.
Upon arriving home he felt entitled to anything and everything his siblings had. (Think of the spoiled girl on Willy Wonka "I want it all. I want it right now....") After almost a year of him complaining and pointing out all the things that he was still lacking (I-pods, cell phones, etc.) we started his gratitude journal. Each day for over a year and a half he has had to come up with something he's grateful for. Often times he'll look around and write about the first thing he sees. He's mentioned being grateful for pencils, paper, fans, fridges, stoves just about every animate object within eye sight of wherever he is sitting and penning his journal.
That's fine. It's important to appreciate everything you have. (I, myself am very grateful for indoor plumbing, spell check and hair coloring.)
Over the course of the last 18 months of gratitude writing he has also written some sweet and appreciative stuff about having a family. Having a mom. Having a safe place to live.
I.EAT.IT.UP.
I do!
But I'm not a fool. I know a lot of it is written for my benefit. He's a smart kid. He knows what makes me happy and he wants to make me happy. And truthfully they DO make me happy and I'm not complaining as I'd take a penned expression of gratitude - be it just to appease me or in all sincerity - over no expression at all. Anyone would. It's a step in the right direction and honestly, I didn't adopt Alex to have him be eternally grateful, I adopted him because I felt so strongly that he was missing. That he was meant to be ours, that he was ours before this life and we just needed to find him.
Yesterday he was journal-ing a "Ukraine Memory" about the discipline tactics the orphanage used. (I love it when he chooses to write about his past. Not only for the remembrance value but for the healing that can happen. I believe and love the quote that says "Your past is just a story and once you realize that it has no power over you.") He wrote about being hit with a stick, sitting in a bucket of salt for not taking a bath all night and of course the naked walks of shame through his classroom for misbehavior.
I sat down with him to correct the sentence structure and spelling and swallowed my hurt heart about the content. As we were correcting Alex grasps my arm with both hands, lays his head against me and sighs with relief, "I am so grateful that you get me out of there mom.". It was the sweetest most sincere expression of gratitude I have ever had from Alex. It must have hit him full force that this could still be his life. I hugged him tight and told him how sorry I was that he had to experience any of this and that he is safe and home and will never go back there. I asked him if he believed me? "Yes mom. I believed you would come get me from orphanage and I believe you now."
Rylee
I sat down with him to correct the sentence structure and spelling and swallowed my hurt heart about the content. As we were correcting Alex grasps my arm with both hands, lays his head against me and sighs with relief, "I am so grateful that you get me out of there mom.". It was the sweetest most sincere expression of gratitude I have ever had from Alex. It must have hit him full force that this could still be his life. I hugged him tight and told him how sorry I was that he had to experience any of this and that he is safe and home and will never go back there. I asked him if he believed me? "Yes mom. I believed you would come get me from orphanage and I believe you now."
Rylee
Rylee has always been on board with our decision to adopt but I think secretly she's been a little disappointed that Alex:
a. wasn't a girl
and
b. was more like a brother.
They get along about 50% of the time. She sort of lost her position in the family. Although still physically the youngest she is certainly not the baby anymore. Alex has taken that position. Adopting -even at the age of ten - requires as much time, energy and patience as having a baby. Rylee has not so happily scoot over on her baby pedestal and Alex has had to share it - although somewhat begrudgingly about being on it at all ! We have had conversations and tears over "Alex always hugs you. You always tuck Alex in longer than me. You spend more time with Alex." which is all true. Alex does hug me all the time, it takes me longer to tuck Alex in as we are usually talking about some sort of behavior or issue we're working on and raising Alex and catching him up with all he's missed just takes a lot of time!
Friday night Alex and Rylee spent the evening with mutual friends. Two were friends of Alex's adopted from the same Ukraine orphanage the other, a sister for Rylee to play with that she adores. They had a lovely time but these boys are still pretty fresh from the orphanage and a bit wild and crazy.
a. wasn't a girl
and
b. was more like a brother.
They get along about 50% of the time. She sort of lost her position in the family. Although still physically the youngest she is certainly not the baby anymore. Alex has taken that position. Adopting -even at the age of ten - requires as much time, energy and patience as having a baby. Rylee has not so happily scoot over on her baby pedestal and Alex has had to share it - although somewhat begrudgingly about being on it at all ! We have had conversations and tears over "Alex always hugs you. You always tuck Alex in longer than me. You spend more time with Alex." which is all true. Alex does hug me all the time, it takes me longer to tuck Alex in as we are usually talking about some sort of behavior or issue we're working on and raising Alex and catching him up with all he's missed just takes a lot of time!
Friday night Alex and Rylee spent the evening with mutual friends. Two were friends of Alex's adopted from the same Ukraine orphanage the other, a sister for Rylee to play with that she adores. They had a lovely time but these boys are still pretty fresh from the orphanage and a bit wild and crazy.
After a fun filled night of games and rides at Hollywood Connection the friends went home and Rylee said in comparison to these two high spirited boys, "I am so glad that Alex is my brother!"
Alex grinned from ear to ear. It's always good to hear you are wanted. And this was a first from Rylee.
Alex then piped in "And I am so glad you didn't adopt another Ukraine kid!" Apparently these two boys - as much as Alex loves them - wore both my babies out!
Alex grinned from ear to ear. It's always good to hear you are wanted. And this was a first from Rylee.
Alex then piped in "And I am so glad you didn't adopt another Ukraine kid!" Apparently these two boys - as much as Alex loves them - wore both my babies out!
1 of my blog friends said something...:
time just flies!
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