Alex Update...

Getting a tie lesson from Dad.

(Cute picture hu?)

Pack Meeting

Alex receives his Arrow of Light

With Brach on the bridge

And although this is not a flattering picture, I needed to document the war paint on MY cheek because of the hugs I got from Alex while his war paint was still wet!

It's been awhile since an Alex update.

He's doing very well.
Yes, still have a few issues. This morning it was chewing with his mouth open....again.
He has terrible dining habits, he eats like a toddler with a fist around his fork, shoving in bites as fast as he can, pushing the food with the fork to the edge of his plate and then slurping it off and he has no idea how to use a knife and fork.
That's okay. One step at a time.
It's the chewing with his mouth open that I can't handle. I don't know, I just can't stand to see it or hear it. Not just from Alex but from EVERYONE!! I just hate it. (That and that sound people make when the smack their lips together or make yummy moist sounds with their tongue against the top of their mouth?) Yuck.
So....today.....again.
Me: Alex how long have you been here?
Alex: Ten months
Me: And how many times have I asked you to chew with your mouth closed?
Alex: Once a month. No, once a day.
Me: Let's just say I've asked you twenty times a month. Times 10. That's 200 times. Right?
Alex: Yes.
(Insert sigh of exasperation on my part)
In addition to this Alex took strawberries from the fridge. Strawberries I was saving to make jam. I asked if he knew he wasn't suppose to have them.
Yes.
Okay, so you can write a page on why you ate the strawberries and why you can't chew with you mouth closed.
Eyes water a little. Writing. A cruel form of punishment.
Me: Alex what would you do if you had a little boy that just kept eating food that he knew he wasn't suppose to?
Alex: Ground him.
Me: But what if your little boy was very use to going without things like video games and bikes. Grounding him wasn't a big deal because he'd spent ten years of his life with nothing so a week of going without something wasn't a big deal.
Alex: (Silence-you can tell that he's thinking "Oh, crap. She figured me out!")
So that's why I've decided that your consequence from now on is going to be working or writing because you know I don't believe in spanking and whippings right?
Alex: Right.
He begins to write but not happily.
Then I start thinking out loud.
Hum, maybe I'm asking you to do the impossible. Maybe your tonsils are just to big. (He has gigantic tonsils!) Maybe they're so big that you cannot breath while you're chewing and you have to open your mouth while you chew. I know you can hardly sleep with your mouth closed. Do you have troubles breathing while you're chewing?
Alex: (Hide's his eyes. Visibly shaken. And shakes his head.)
Me: Honey what's wrong?
Alex: I no want surgery.
Me: I'm not saying you need surgery. The doctor decides that but maybe we need to have you looked out to see if there is a problem.
Alex: (Starts crying) What if something go wrong?
Me: Oh, sweetie don't cry. Nothing will go wrong and Mom and Dad won't let you have a surgery unless it's going to make your life better.
He stops crying and stares at his paper. I proceed to the shower with a threat that he'll write more if his page isn't done when I get out.
I have him go with me to drop Devree to her game.
We drop Dev off and he reads me his paper.
I touk (took) strabery's and I didno't asket. I don't want to bet (get) my tnsels (tonsils) out because I never hav (have had) sojare (surgery) before. Mom you shude (should) pot (put) saen (sign) that say do not eat the stabery's I am saven them for samthing if you pot the saing (saying?) I wood aderstant (understand) and mom I am so sorry I tock youre strabery and did not asket for youre promishen (permission). I am realy sorry and thank you for averething (everything) you did for me.
Pretty sweet and smart huh?
We had a talk about how I hated living with room mates and labeling all my food in college and how he had to hide and defend all his belongings in the orphanage and how our home shouldn't be like that. He knew the strawberries were for something special and chances are-if he had asked I would have let him have one or two but because he KNEW and he didn't ask, that was like stealing. We talked about trust and why he needed to go the game with me because I cannot trust him home alone.
He agreed this was a good idea. H knows he has to earn our trust at this point.
We talked about how if he doesn't learn how to chew with his mouth closed how embarrassed he might be when he goes on a date, or when he grows up and invents something wonderful and is invited to an awards dinner on his behalf. That people make judgments about others based on their manners and that I know he had a rough start but I want his life here to be the best it can be. We talked about how I had to teach all the other children the very same manners but they were much younger. That I know it's hard to learn all this stuff at eleven but I have to make up for all the time I missed.
We talked about the little boy I went to school with that was dirty and neglected and had terrible manners and how I don't want anyone to ever thing that Alex is not loved and cared for. Ever.
The talk went FABULOUS!
And tonight, he was consciously trying to chew with his mouth closed!
Hallelujah!
During the game one of the mom's I sat by said something about her "orphan" daughter. (This daughter has spent quite a lot of time at our home lately.) Alex, perked up.
"Orphan?"
That was a fun explanation for Alex and I had to explain to this mom where Alex came from.
On the way home, I went into it a little more detail, explaining that sometimes people refer to their children as orphans when they're dirty or uncared for because in general, most orphans are that way. I used the word adopted at some point and he said,
"Remember mom, I not adopted. Just sealed!"
"Yes, that's right but how do we explain where you came from?"
Devree suggested we just say Alex is from Ukraine.
Very tricky this no using the word adopted. I guess I'll just say imported.
On a funnier note, Alex has this groovy way of walking and bobbing up and down that he showed us today. It's very funky. I asked him why he walks like that and with a very cocky attitude he tells me
"Cause I'm Alex Richhart Benjamin" with his name all in disorder.
Too funny.
Despite the food issues, the chewing issues, the adopting issues, he's just a funny little boy that loves to make us laugh. And laugh we do!!

Glory Be And The Saints Be Praised!

That's a line from "Music Man". I played Maud (one of the trickling fountain ladies) about eleven summers ago. This line has always stuck with me and we've had so much good news lately that I thought it very appropriate for my blog title today!
1st off: Kambree was selected out of hundreds for a finalist interview for the Ambassador scholarship at Snow. She made her appointment to go down for the interview but then found out that she cannot be on the drill team AND be an ambassador. I asked her what she wanted most. To dance. Then there's your answer, call them back and politely decline the invitation. Which she did. So the good news was that she was selected as a finalist, not so good she can't participate but even better, we're done with scholarships applications and interviews! (Now she just has to focus on making the money for the rest of tuition, books and housing!)
#2 The school called and has agreed to test Alex! They're going to test him in three area's speech, social/behavior and intellectual/cogitative. This is based on the last batch of papers (including Amy's findings) and documents I sent! I found his translated medical records in our pile of adoption paper work that I tossed in a folder and never looked at. In it it said he had a class III speech disorder requiring medical, social, and educational follow up. Apparently the school needed some sort of documentation to do testing as they cannot assume that all new language learners have learning disability's-that would be discrimination. Lot's of bureaucracy in this area of schooling. Whatever. I'm just glad they're going to test him and with any luck he'll get more one on one or special needs help IN school.
#3 Even better than that my good friend and client (also with the fabulous name of Wendy) suggested Alex get some tutoring through her workplace. Only problem is, it's very expensive. My sweet friend talked to her boss and there may be a grant available for Alex as he's so new to the country? I'm so excited! I'm going to contact her boss today and see what we need to do. If the school testing doesn't come through, then I'll make arrangements to pull him out of school and have him tutored DURING school as opposed to more time out of school. If the testing does qualify him for more help in school then I'll just arrange for tutoring outside of school. And hopefully this will be something we can continue with through the summer! Oh, I feel such relief. When talking with the principal he told me I was a good advocate for Alex. Pesky Mother Bear is probably a more appropriate title but I'll take what I can get!
#4 My good friends son, Karen just got his mission call to England! What a great place! You get to go foreign WITHOUT learning a new language! (A new dialect, yes. But girls love English accents! What a bonus.) We love the Burton's. Kambree and Mathew have known each other since they were two and three. We lived next door to them in West Jordan. We're so happy for Matthew and the decision he's made to go on a mission! (Karen-I know you read my blog faithfully-you are a fabulous mother and friend! Congrats! You can do this!)
#5 Spring is coming! My pussy-willow tree is budding, my daffodils are starting to come up and our one year anniversary of going to Ukraine and getting Alex is rapidly approaching. Friends of ours are leaving Saturday to get their second daughter from Ukraine. I can't wait to watch their journey. She promised to blog lots-you can follow her on my side bar-Drew & Jen Benson. They adopted Anastassia last summer but her older sister Masha (I think she'll be going by Maria?) didn't have her paperwork filed properly in Ukraine and they have all had to wait to bring her home. It's been a long road. I'm sure they'll be so excited to unite this two sisters and complete their family. Please include them in your prayers.
Well, I'm off for a not so great appointment-my first-a mammogram. Boo. It's hard enough watching your babies grow up, go on dates, off to college and on missions but do I have to get my chest squashed too? Grrr.....
(Sorry if I've offended any of my male readers. I think it's only Andreas so I guess I should just apologize to him? If there are any more male readers-my apologies to you as well!)
Have a glorious day!

Austin-isms....

(Not to be confused with Alex-isms!)

For dinner tonight I made a chili skillet dish and corn bread. I had served everyone a slice of corn bread and Austin picked up the remaining hunk and proceeded to tear a piece off.
Devree: Austin you could use a knife!
Austin: I'm trying to be like Jesus.
(Picture the rest of us staring at him in confusion and raising a doubtful eyebrow)
Austin: Jesus broke bread. You're always telling me to be like Jesus so I'm eating bread like him!
(Picture us all rolling our eyes and shaking our heads.)

Good grief......

My Buccanneer's First Date!

Oh, my little boy.

My little almost six foot baby boy.

Austin is going on his first date!

Girls choice dance-this Saturday-semi formal.

So, he asks me tonight.
What's a buccaneer?
Me: It's like a pirate?
(Looking at him puzzled.)
Austin: No, you wear them to a dance or something. (And he makes motions across his chest)
Me: You mean a boutonniere?
After which Kambree and I start laughing hysterically!
Austin's date is wearing a white dress and he's going to wear black. (After I convinced him that wearing all white would look like Colonel Sanders or like they were getting married!)
However, I think this black and white picture is more Austin's style!
Oh my little boy.
My big almost six foot baby.
Going on his first date.

Family Pictures At The Temple

This one is my all time favorite....

Something I forgot to blog about in my last post.
So, when we took the kids to the child's waiting room, the attendants couldn't tell which child was being adopted. Kambree said they kept asking "Now, which one of you is being sealed today?" Alex just looks so much like us that you just can't tell. Sweet huh? Not that it would matter if he didn't look like us but I think it's sweet that he just looks like he fits with us.
When you look at our family picture can you tell?

Families are Forever!

Saturday, March 6th our family went to the Salt Lake Temple to have Alex sealed to us for time and all eternity.

The ceremony though sacred is very short and sweet.
The sealer spoke to us before the kids came in about how once this ordinance is complete, it is as if Alex was ours from the start. There is no "adoption" in the ceremony. Alex is now ours as if I had given birth to him. Alex was grinning from ear to ear when James had the sealer repeat this for him after the ceremony. Alex has expressed "I wish I in yous tummy" from the moment we brought him home.
That evening he kept hugging me, leaning against me and would sigh and and say, "I really yours son now. Really. Really. Really." So sweet.
When my five children came in all dressed in white I had a glimpse of just what heaven must be like. And tears just sprang to my eyes. When we knelt across from each other James handed me a tissue and then had to take one for himself. I'm not sure there were too many dry eyes in the room. (I didn't dare look at my sister as I knew she was crying and that would only make my cry more!)
The sealer got a bit choked up while performing the ordinance and I saw Alex reach for the tissues next to him. I thought maybe Alex was getting emotional but as soon as the sealer finished, Alex promptly handed him the tissue. It was such a sweet, compassionate gesture.
A big thanks to my cousin Kym that met us there early to get some family shots on the temple grounds. (I will post later-I have to go pick up the disk!)
And also a big thanks to my friends and family that came to witness and support us on this day. We love each and every one of you!
They had us line up and each of our guest walked through giving us hugs and congratulations. Of course when Kammy came through, the line just stopped and we just hugged and cried for a few minutes. She whispered to Alex, "Remember, I'm part of that forever too!"
How blessed are we to know that we will see our families again? That families can be together forever? That death is not the end.
We love and missed those of you who were unable to make it, you may not have been present, but you were in our hearts.
We didn't know we'd be able to go out on the grounds in our white clothes so a big thank you to the sweet stranger in the cute black boots that offered to snap our picture with my digital camera!
Here's a few more...

This is a picture of the kids pretending to eat from the tree of life....
(Their idea....really.....Like I couldn't make up this stuff?)

After wards, Alex in all his euphoric excitement did a front hand spring/somersault-in his white clothes-and got a small grass stain on his behind. (Sorry, temple laundry people!)
This is our reflection walking back into the lobby. I thought it turned out kind of cool.

Alex Update

So, Alex had his language evaluation with my friend this morning. The elementary kids were out of school because of SEP conferences so I figured it wouldn't overload him to have this evaluation and I promised him no English worksheets or journal writing today.
I was pleasantly surprised by the results.
He can make all his sounds-when he slows down and concentrates so articulation and speech are not his issues. (Whew!)
He struggles with comprehension-of course and sentence structure-another of course.
He gets to worried about responding fast than actually thinking about what is being said. (An example of this is I asked him to try on some swimming trunks at the store today and come show me how they fit. He tried them on and put his clothes back on. All the while I'm standing outside of the boy's dressing room. Finally I asked, "Alex, are you going to come show me how they fit?" He groaned. "I already try on. Medium fit." To which I replied, "Okay, but I want to see them ON you." More sighs and groans but he did take off his clothes and come out with his trunks on-the size that should fit him looked like he had on James trunks. He's so very skinny. We had to go with the shorter size just so he can keep them up around his waist!)
Overall he tested at the level of a five year old as far as language goes. Which is not too bad considering he's only been here for ten months. If he continues to learn at this pace he should be at a 15 year old's level when he's 13 1/2....right? Of course, I know he won't be able to continue at this speed but I can always have hope right?
I still think the school should pull him out during history and social studies and work with him on comprehension and language skills. Why have him sitting in a classroom when he cannot comprehend what is being taught and could better use his time working on the things he struggles with? Am I being obtuse here?
He's SEP didn't go so well. He seems to grasp math as long as they're working on the subject but when it came to reviewing he couldn't remember any of the concepts he had down just weeks ago and of course besides spelling and science-everything else was WAY below grade level. He is doing pretty good in spelling but he only memorizes what he needs to each week. When he writes he just spells everything phonetically. So really it's garbage in, garbage out-little if no retention. Hum....I'm gearing up for round two with the school board-regardless of our testing results.
Lately, Alex has been overly interested in the Arby's restaurant. Apparently he found some coupons that he's just dying to use. Today he asked if after Amy comes to talk to me-about his evaluation-can we please go to Arbys? He pulls out this folded sheet of coupons all with large black letters that say FREE. He tells me he can get all this FREE food. (Just like the cell phones...remember?)
So we had a quick lesson on fine print. Upon reading that each item was FREE with the purchase of a secondary item he immediately deposited his precious sheet of coupons in the garbage!
Amy and I DID take the kids to Arby's and we did fish his coupons out of the garbage and I let Alex and Rylee purchase something and get something for FREE.
Oh....this American marketing thing is hard to figure out for a little guy who so badly believes things are FREE when they say they are FREE!
We then went shopping and Alex combed the toy department and found a car he really wanted BUT again, a lesson to learn.
"Alex, I don't buy toys. If you want a toy you'll need to pay for it yourself. (Knowing full well he'd blown his allowance on dumb stuff at the school book fair.) Do you have any money?"
A: No
Me: Because you spent all your money buying junky things at the book fair...right?(He did this all on his own- buying book marks and silly putty.) You would have enough to buy that car if you hadn't spent it already wouldn't you?
A: Yes.
Lesson learned but not to be undone, he quickly realized that I was buying clothes. (I was hitting all the clearance racks-my passion-buying off season.) And asked if I would buy him a shirt. "Yes." I said "If it's on the clearance rack and no, I won't be buying any of those shirts with those crappy toys attached to them" (He had been eyeing a shirt only because it had a pair of wheels that you attach to your shoes.) The disappointment was apparent. He had thought he could get a toy this way. I then showed him my clearance tag prices, showing him how I was buying $89 dollar winter coats for $17.99. He marched over to the clearance rack-which I had already hit-and soon found there was nothing in his size and more importantly-nothing on clearance with a stupid toy attached to it!
I did get him swim trunks so don't feel too bad for him-not to mention he has a drawer, a shelf and the top of his closet full of crappy toys. THAT HE NEVER PLAYS WITH!!
So, tonight he has a birthday party sleep over. They're going to be playing X-box Star Wars battle. Small problem. Alex is grounded from video games. (Honesty issues.) So I asked last night what we were going to do so he could go to the party and participate. He suggested he would play Lego's. No, I said. He would just watch. No, I said again. I really wanted him to use some problem solving here. "How can we come to a solution that is fair for both of us? Is it fair that you play video games when you're grounded from them?" No, he answered. And it's not fair to go to a birthday party and not participate in the planned activity either. What can we do to come up with a compromise? A solution that is fair for everyone?" (Of course we had to have a mini-lesson on just what compromise and solution mean.) You could almost see the wheels in his mind working then he came up with it! He would be grounded through Tuesday instead of Monday. Perfect!! I said. I feel good about that, do you feel good about that? Yes, he said.
I was so glad to see him figure this out on his own. I feel like I'm always giving him the answers. That he just waits for me to come up with all the ideas and problem solving. It's gotten so bad that he asks me basic questions to which he very well knows the answer to. He'd rather be spoon fed by me than to search the contents of his mind and figure it out. Lately, I've been replying with. "I'm going to let you figure that out Alex." (I try to say it sweetly but sometimes, I confess it's through gritted teeth!)
Today when I had him use his coupon at Arby's the lady at the counter asked if this was "to-go or to stay?" He looked back at me for help. I told him if he doesn't understand, he'll need to ask again. And think about what she's asking him. (She could hear me coaching him.) She asked him again. (We were the only people at the cash register) and within seconds he figured it out. "STAY!" he replied with pride and relief that he had figured it out.
My mother's theory has always been, "Never do for your child what he can do for himself." So with that advice in mind, I'm going to step back and let him work things out with his five year old language skills. I feel like I'm pushing him out of the nest but my oh my, this nest is getting really claustrophobic some days....so here goes!

She Made It!

To Kambree Richart,

Thank you for auditioning for the 2010-2011 Snow College Badgerettes Drill Team. I am pleased to inform you that you have been accepted onto the team! You should be proud of this accomplishment, as only the most talented dancers were selected. I am glad that you will be joining us. We will be having a mandatory team meeting sometime near the end of April or beginning of May. I will get back with you to let you know the exact date. At this meeting we will be discussing team fees, summer camp, team officers, the possibility of participating at competitions, and team housing among other important issues for next year. A seamstress may also be joining us to take costume measurements.

Again, I congratulate you on your success. Will you please reply to this email or call me so I know you received and accept this invitation to be on the 2010-2011 Badgerettes Drill Team. It is going to be a great year!

Thanks,

Janae Miller
Snow College Dance Dept.
Adjunct Faculty/Badgerette Coach

Etiquette Dinner

So, many of you know that I LOVE to get dressed up and act. (I don't get as many opportunity's as I'd like and I try to limit my stage acting to once a year with a short run. However, I do audition here and there for film and TV. I mention audition as I do that more than actually land a role. However, yesterday I audition for a vampire's mom for some low budget film and they told me they "liked my look" that I actually looked like the actor playing the vampire-hum.... I am very pale-so, I guess we'll wait and see?)
So, when my friend and cohort, Amy asked if I would come to the Young Men and Young Women's Etiquette dinner as the manners police I said certainly!

Of course, I had to add a twist and come as a character-as coming as myself would be just to awkward. So, I slipped/squeezed into Kambree's prom dress, added my fake long hair, lots of jewelry, makeup, sunglasses and a fur stow and I was set!

I fancied myself a Southern debutante/social lite!

Unannounced to my poor teenagers I came sashaying in with my sweet Southern drawl (pretty good if I say so myself!) commenting on every one's table manners, dress and making the boys stand when I came to their table.

I only stayed about ten minutes-which was ten minutes too long for my kids.

They told me later that it was just plain "weird".

Hum....

" They surely just don't appreciate my immense talent, charm and fabulous Southern drawl?"
(Read that with a sweet southern accent!)

Badgerett Tryouts!

Last Saturday Kambree and Rylee and I headed out on a road trip to Snow College and left James home to shuttle Austin, Devree and Alex to their three basketball games. We were headed to Snow for Kambree's Badgerett Tryouts!

We got there early and figured out where Kam was suppose to go. She knew she had a one minute solo that she had kind of gone over in her head but when we got there I noticed the tryout sign said "Bring a 3x5 head shot and a completed application." None of which we had. Luckily, I had a wallet of her from last year in my wallet. (Note to self: Replace pictures!) And we grabbed an application and frantically filled it out and she was on her way.

Rylee and I had three hours in the lovely small town of Ephraim to kill. We started at McDonald's and I could have sat there all day reading and sipping a cool refreshing beverage but Rylee was disgusted with how large she had become since last playing in McDonald's play land. ("Why do the have to put nets on the top of everything. I can't stand up straight AND my shoes won't fit in the shoe rack!") So, we found a bowling alley. Wow. It was some bowling alley.

Here's a picture of my cute girl...

And a picture of the swamp cooler with ice cream buckets to catch the condensation?

The other interior pictures didn't turn out but they had every species of wildlife stuffed and mounted on the walls and everything was in dark wood paneling. (Hence why my pictures didn't turn out!)

Here we are-we timed this on the camera so that's why we're so off center-but we're impressed with ourselves as we've never used the timer before!

We had to keep our own score which Rylee and I had no idea how to do.

So Rylee just wrote down our strikes, spares and splits-yes this was it after two games!

Then we went back to Snow. I sat and talked with some other mothers and Rylee went to find her cousins-they were there swimming. Rylee came back to check on me and one of the mom's remarked about how tall she is for ten years old to which she replied. "Yeah, and I have big feet too!" (Still upset that her size eights won't fit in the McDonald's shoe rack-I guess?)

She left again to wander.

The girls finally came out to wait in the hall. They'd been dancing for two hours straight. This is Kambree with her "don't take my picture" pose, waiting for her one minute solo.

Her cousin Emily stopped by to wish her luck.

She finally got called in and this is her walking out after her solo! What a look of relief!

And now she would finally let me take her picture...

We went to find Rylee, say goodbye to cousins and head home and around the corner we found Rylee dancing her heart out. Why do I get the feeling I will be sitting in more empty hallways on pins and needles waiting for my daughters to emerge from dance tryouts?

We had to stop for this photo op on the way out...

Then we had to stop for forever in Spanish Fork canyon. We were at a complete stop for about ten minutes when Rylee decided she needed to go to the bathroom and opted to try the out house on the side of the road. (We had witnessed someone else doing the same thing so we knew the door was open!)

We were not the only stopped car snapping her picture as she ran back from her potty break.

She got in the car and within 30 seconds we started to move!

Whew!
Updated:
3/5 3:3oPM
JUST GOT AN EMAIL!!! KAMBREE MADE THE TEAM!!!!
WHOOTWHOO!!!