So, Alex had his language evaluation with my friend this morning. The elementary kids were out of school because of SEP conferences so I figured it wouldn't overload him to have this evaluation and I promised him no English worksheets or journal writing today.
I was pleasantly surprised by the results.
He can make all his sounds-when he slows down and concentrates so articulation and speech are not his issues. (Whew!)
He struggles with comprehension-of course and sentence structure-another of course.
He gets to worried about responding fast than actually thinking about what is being said. (An example of this is I asked him to try on some swimming trunks at the store today and come show me how they fit. He tried them on and put his clothes back on. All the while I'm standing outside of the boy's dressing room. Finally I asked, "Alex, are you going to come show me how they fit?" He groaned. "I already try on. Medium fit." To which I replied, "Okay, but I want to see them ON you." More sighs and groans but he did take off his clothes and come out with his trunks on-the size that should fit him looked like he had on James trunks. He's so very skinny. We had to go with the shorter size just so he can keep them up around his waist!)
Overall he tested at the level of a five year old as far as language goes. Which is not too bad considering he's only been here for ten months. If he continues to learn at this pace he should be at a 15 year old's level when he's 13 1/2....right? Of course, I know he won't be able to continue at this speed but I can always have hope right?
I still think the school should pull him out during history and social studies and work with him on comprehension and language skills. Why have him sitting in a classroom when he cannot comprehend what is being taught and could better use his time working on the things he struggles with? Am I being obtuse here?
He's SEP didn't go so well. He seems to grasp math as long as they're working on the subject but when it came to reviewing he couldn't remember any of the concepts he had down just weeks ago and of course besides spelling and science-everything else was WAY below grade level. He is doing pretty good in spelling but he only memorizes what he needs to each week. When he writes he just spells everything phonetically. So really it's garbage in, garbage out-little if no retention. Hum....I'm gearing up for round two with the school board-regardless of our testing results.
Lately, Alex has been overly interested in the Arby's restaurant. Apparently he found some coupons that he's just dying to use. Today he asked if after Amy comes to talk to me-about his evaluation-can we please go to Arbys? He pulls out this folded sheet of coupons all with large black letters that say FREE. He tells me he can get all this FREE food. (Just like the cell phones...remember?)
So we had a quick lesson on fine print. Upon reading that each item was FREE with the purchase of a secondary item he immediately deposited his precious sheet of coupons in the garbage!
Amy and I DID take the kids to Arby's and we did fish his coupons out of the garbage and I let Alex and Rylee purchase something and get something for FREE.
Oh....this American marketing thing is hard to figure out for a little guy who so badly believes things are FREE when they say they are FREE!
We then went shopping and Alex combed the toy department and found a car he really wanted BUT again, a lesson to learn.
"Alex, I don't buy toys. If you want a toy you'll need to pay for it yourself. (Knowing full well he'd blown his allowance on dumb stuff at the school book fair.) Do you have any money?"
A: No
Me: Because you spent all your money buying junky things at the book fair...right?(He did this all on his own- buying book marks and silly putty.) You would have enough to buy that car if you hadn't spent it already wouldn't you?
A: Yes.
Lesson learned but not to be undone, he quickly realized that I was buying clothes. (I was hitting all the clearance racks-my passion-buying off season.) And asked if I would buy him a shirt. "Yes." I said "If it's on the clearance rack and no, I won't be buying any of those shirts with those crappy toys attached to them" (He had been eyeing a shirt only because it had a pair of wheels that you attach to your shoes.) The disappointment was apparent. He had thought he could get a toy this way. I then showed him my clearance tag prices, showing him how I was buying $89 dollar winter coats for $17.99. He marched over to the clearance rack-which I had already hit-and soon found there was nothing in his size and more importantly-nothing on clearance with a stupid toy attached to it!
I did get him swim trunks so don't feel too bad for him-not to mention he has a drawer, a shelf and the top of his closet full of crappy toys. THAT HE NEVER PLAYS WITH!!
So, tonight he has a birthday party sleep over. They're going to be playing X-box Star Wars battle. Small problem. Alex is grounded from video games. (Honesty issues.) So I asked last night what we were going to do so he could go to the party and participate. He suggested he would play Lego's. No, I said. He would just watch. No, I said again. I really wanted him to use some problem solving here. "How can we come to a solution that is fair for both of us? Is it fair that you play video games when you're grounded from them?" No, he answered. And it's not fair to go to a birthday party and not participate in the planned activity either. What can we do to come up with a compromise? A solution that is fair for everyone?" (Of course we had to have a mini-lesson on just what compromise and solution mean.) You could almost see the wheels in his mind working then he came up with it! He would be grounded through Tuesday instead of Monday. Perfect!! I said. I feel good about that, do you feel good about that? Yes, he said.
I was so glad to see him figure this out on his own. I feel like I'm always giving him the answers. That he just waits for me to come up with all the ideas and problem solving. It's gotten so bad that he asks me basic questions to which he very well knows the answer to. He'd rather be spoon fed by me than to search the contents of his mind and figure it out. Lately, I've been replying with. "I'm going to let you figure that out Alex." (I try to say it sweetly but sometimes, I confess it's through gritted teeth!)
Today when I had him use his coupon at Arby's the lady at the counter asked if this was "to-go or to stay?" He looked back at me for help. I told him if he doesn't understand, he'll need to ask again. And think about what she's asking him. (She could hear me coaching him.) She asked him again. (We were the only people at the cash register) and within seconds he figured it out. "STAY!" he replied with pride and relief that he had figured it out.
My mother's theory has always been, "Never do for your child what he can do for himself." So with that advice in mind, I'm going to step back and let him work things out with his five year old language skills. I feel like I'm pushing him out of the nest but my oh my, this nest is getting really claustrophobic some days....so here goes!
I was pleasantly surprised by the results.
He can make all his sounds-when he slows down and concentrates so articulation and speech are not his issues. (Whew!)
He struggles with comprehension-of course and sentence structure-another of course.
He gets to worried about responding fast than actually thinking about what is being said. (An example of this is I asked him to try on some swimming trunks at the store today and come show me how they fit. He tried them on and put his clothes back on. All the while I'm standing outside of the boy's dressing room. Finally I asked, "Alex, are you going to come show me how they fit?" He groaned. "I already try on. Medium fit." To which I replied, "Okay, but I want to see them ON you." More sighs and groans but he did take off his clothes and come out with his trunks on-the size that should fit him looked like he had on James trunks. He's so very skinny. We had to go with the shorter size just so he can keep them up around his waist!)
Overall he tested at the level of a five year old as far as language goes. Which is not too bad considering he's only been here for ten months. If he continues to learn at this pace he should be at a 15 year old's level when he's 13 1/2....right? Of course, I know he won't be able to continue at this speed but I can always have hope right?
I still think the school should pull him out during history and social studies and work with him on comprehension and language skills. Why have him sitting in a classroom when he cannot comprehend what is being taught and could better use his time working on the things he struggles with? Am I being obtuse here?
He's SEP didn't go so well. He seems to grasp math as long as they're working on the subject but when it came to reviewing he couldn't remember any of the concepts he had down just weeks ago and of course besides spelling and science-everything else was WAY below grade level. He is doing pretty good in spelling but he only memorizes what he needs to each week. When he writes he just spells everything phonetically. So really it's garbage in, garbage out-little if no retention. Hum....I'm gearing up for round two with the school board-regardless of our testing results.
Lately, Alex has been overly interested in the Arby's restaurant. Apparently he found some coupons that he's just dying to use. Today he asked if after Amy comes to talk to me-about his evaluation-can we please go to Arbys? He pulls out this folded sheet of coupons all with large black letters that say FREE. He tells me he can get all this FREE food. (Just like the cell phones...remember?)
So we had a quick lesson on fine print. Upon reading that each item was FREE with the purchase of a secondary item he immediately deposited his precious sheet of coupons in the garbage!
Amy and I DID take the kids to Arby's and we did fish his coupons out of the garbage and I let Alex and Rylee purchase something and get something for FREE.
Oh....this American marketing thing is hard to figure out for a little guy who so badly believes things are FREE when they say they are FREE!
We then went shopping and Alex combed the toy department and found a car he really wanted BUT again, a lesson to learn.
"Alex, I don't buy toys. If you want a toy you'll need to pay for it yourself. (Knowing full well he'd blown his allowance on dumb stuff at the school book fair.) Do you have any money?"
A: No
Me: Because you spent all your money buying junky things at the book fair...right?(He did this all on his own- buying book marks and silly putty.) You would have enough to buy that car if you hadn't spent it already wouldn't you?
A: Yes.
Lesson learned but not to be undone, he quickly realized that I was buying clothes. (I was hitting all the clearance racks-my passion-buying off season.) And asked if I would buy him a shirt. "Yes." I said "If it's on the clearance rack and no, I won't be buying any of those shirts with those crappy toys attached to them" (He had been eyeing a shirt only because it had a pair of wheels that you attach to your shoes.) The disappointment was apparent. He had thought he could get a toy this way. I then showed him my clearance tag prices, showing him how I was buying $89 dollar winter coats for $17.99. He marched over to the clearance rack-which I had already hit-and soon found there was nothing in his size and more importantly-nothing on clearance with a stupid toy attached to it!
I did get him swim trunks so don't feel too bad for him-not to mention he has a drawer, a shelf and the top of his closet full of crappy toys. THAT HE NEVER PLAYS WITH!!
So, tonight he has a birthday party sleep over. They're going to be playing X-box Star Wars battle. Small problem. Alex is grounded from video games. (Honesty issues.) So I asked last night what we were going to do so he could go to the party and participate. He suggested he would play Lego's. No, I said. He would just watch. No, I said again. I really wanted him to use some problem solving here. "How can we come to a solution that is fair for both of us? Is it fair that you play video games when you're grounded from them?" No, he answered. And it's not fair to go to a birthday party and not participate in the planned activity either. What can we do to come up with a compromise? A solution that is fair for everyone?" (Of course we had to have a mini-lesson on just what compromise and solution mean.) You could almost see the wheels in his mind working then he came up with it! He would be grounded through Tuesday instead of Monday. Perfect!! I said. I feel good about that, do you feel good about that? Yes, he said.
I was so glad to see him figure this out on his own. I feel like I'm always giving him the answers. That he just waits for me to come up with all the ideas and problem solving. It's gotten so bad that he asks me basic questions to which he very well knows the answer to. He'd rather be spoon fed by me than to search the contents of his mind and figure it out. Lately, I've been replying with. "I'm going to let you figure that out Alex." (I try to say it sweetly but sometimes, I confess it's through gritted teeth!)
Today when I had him use his coupon at Arby's the lady at the counter asked if this was "to-go or to stay?" He looked back at me for help. I told him if he doesn't understand, he'll need to ask again. And think about what she's asking him. (She could hear me coaching him.) She asked him again. (We were the only people at the cash register) and within seconds he figured it out. "STAY!" he replied with pride and relief that he had figured it out.
My mother's theory has always been, "Never do for your child what he can do for himself." So with that advice in mind, I'm going to step back and let him work things out with his five year old language skills. I feel like I'm pushing him out of the nest but my oh my, this nest is getting really claustrophobic some days....so here goes!
3 of my blog friends said something...:
You are doing a wonderful job!! And it is difficult for all of us, but your challenge has some additional problems for sure. Also in reading this post I am wondering if Alex has dyslexia? All the area's he is struggling in are dyslexia related. For more info check out brightsolutions.org or you can talk with me or my boss. Her website is dyslexiatutoringofutah.com
Way to stay firm in your parenting. I am using you as a role model. I need to be more firm for my children's sake. And I am keeping your montroe : can they do this by themselves? if yes, step back.
Does Alex still speak Russian fluently? If so, you have every right to demand that the school district test him in Russian. They are legally obligated to do it, too...and they know it!
However, if he's in language limbo (meaning he no longer remembers Russian but doesn't speak fluent English, either) they HAVE to test him in English. They have no other choice! Contact your school district special education department if your school won't do it. If you don't get help from them, call the state school board and use the "d" word - discrimination. I guarantee the school will respond if the state jumps down their back.
Yes, the "results" will be scewed, but so his ability to comprehend and understand. Also, have him formally tested by the ESL people. That's not even part of special education. It's an inherent part of being born in a foreign country! Don't take a "wait and see" approach. He needs those serives and he's entitled to them! Much to our surprise, Joseh still tested as "non English speaking" more than two years after we brought him home.
There are also other things that can be playing into the learning and retention factors as well. The most obvious is the language barrier. He may appear fluent or near fluent in conversational English, but he's not. I can assure you he's faking a lot of it and is guessing at the meaning of most everything based on context and his understanding of the words he does know.
The reason he can do stuff in class when they teach it is because they're modeling it for him and he copies it. I'll also bet you the farm I don't have that he's also copying other kids...not to "cheat" (he probably doesn't even understand that concept) but because he genuinely doesn't understand how to do it and is using the other kids as his models. When they're doing it, he appears he can do it too because he just mimicks what they're doing. But when he has to do it on his own, he can't because he genuinely doesn't know how to do it.
Balogna they can't put him in speech at school! If he can't speak English clearly and correctly in normal conversations, he qualifies for speech. Furthermore, if he has documented speech delays in Russian, they will still be there in English. That alone is enough to qualify him for services!! The school is feeding you a bunch of bull if they're trying to convince you otherwise. They just don't want to do it! Dang it, it all boils down to money. Schools are short on money, especially down where you are. Even though Alex most likely legally qualifies, they're banking on the fact that you don't know that and are trying to find ways to get around providing services so they can save a few bucks.
Before you go the rounds with the school again, load your guns. Do some research on utah special education laws (those search terms will pull up tons of info on the internet.) When they start spouting off at you about what they can't do, you can say "Nope. Not buying it. According to section 3 paragraph 4 of the law, Alex qualifies for services and you are legally obligated to provide them! Do it or I'll go to the state!!"
more...
Now for other factors that can be getting in the way...possible prenatal alcohol exposure (causes learning and retention issues, especially in reading and math.) Only 15% of kids affected by prenatal exposure present with physical markers. But with or without them, the effects are still there. Prenatal alcohol exposure (which also includes exposure through breast milk) can also cause ADD/ADHD which significantly effects a child's ability to stay focused on a task long enough to understand it.
Lack of education in Ukraine...this is a BIG deal! Even the normal kids there don't start school until they are 7. Even with no other factors at play, that alone inherently puts our kids at least 1-2 academic years behind their peers. Did you retain Alex at least one year when you started him in school? If not, I'd highly recommend having him repeat his current grade rather than allowing him to advance. If the child's size allows for it, many people opt for a two year retention. The academic struggles will only get worse as time goes on and his ability to catch up will be significantly impacted. I SOOO wanted to start my Joseph in Kindergarten when we brought him home, or at least have him do first grade twice, but he was already heads and shoulders bigger than all the rest of the kids. The best we could get was a one year retention and a LOT of playing catch up and special ed services...which he's STILL working on and will be working on for several more years at least.
Early childhood trauma - yup, here we go again. Hurt kids are also highly distracted kids. There is so much chaos going on in their heads all the time that there isn't room for academic learning and retention. Believe me, even if he doesn't tell you about it, Alex still thinks about it all the time...ALL. THE. TIME! Furthermore, early childhood neglect, deprivation, and abuse all deprive a child of the opportunity to pass normally through key developmental stages.
When a baby arrives, they need lots of care. It is through this care and the repeated experience of having all their needs met when they need to be met (they are fed, burped, changed, cuddled, loved, and soothed when they cry) they learn the world is a safe and orderly place. By the time they're 3 or 4, they're now in preschool learning about shapes and colors and letters and sounds.
That wasn't the case for most of our kids. During their early years, they lived in a totally random world. Their cries weren't attended to consistently, they never knew when or if they were going to eat their next meal, or when or if they were going to be hurt next. And then, there's those internats...let's just leave it at they're no place for children!! As a result of all of this, our kids never learned those fundamental and foundational concepts of order, pattering, predictability, and safety.
Those lacking concepts will translate into not being able to connect pieces of information. They might be able to memorize facts for a test, but actually applying them correctly in other situations, they can't do. All that stuff they "learn" is nothing more than random bits of disconnected information floating around in their heads. They simply don't have the foundational skills (including the ability to reason things out or think logically) to support doing that...and those are skills that the schools rely on and take for granted that kids have already mastered before they ever walk through their doors.
And, of course, if kids never learned that the world is generally an orderly and safe place, the bulk of their mental efforts will go into insuring that their external environment really is safe...aka hypervigilence. This leaves them in a highly distracted and preoccupied state. Because safety is one of the most basic and fundamental human needs, until the CHILD knows they are safe, nothing else matters.
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