December Is Here!

I realized that the picture in my header was over two years old and since I am not computer savvy enough to create a new one, I had to use the blogger format. I know it's a little boring, but at least it's more current right?

(It was also time to get rid of those crazy Thanksgiving turkey's on my back ground.)

I love Christmas. Really I do!  But I get so sick of red and green - in fact often times houses, yards and blogs are so covered in red and green and tinsel and lights that it looks like Christmas just "threw up" everywhere! 

(I let Ry and Alex pull out the decorations last Saturday and sincerely my house looked like a Christmas blow out! I have subtly, toned the house down and limited decorations to certain designated areas as opposed to every nook, cranny and windowsill!  Gosh, that doesn't sound like I like Christmas does it?)

We're not doing outdoor Christmas lights again this year.  No one has enough enthusiasm to put them up? James refuses unless I buy new one's each year after Christmas and I didn't hit any great clearances last year. His reasoning? One strand always goes out and the house looks stupid. Since we have them on every night for the month, their life is one season and one season only! He has a point. Personally, I think it would help if our house had some pointy peaks and not a straight line for hanging lights? And with the placement of our Christmas tree - you can barely see it from the road - we might look like the Grinch family on the street. Oh well. When you come in....you can defiantly see we are Christmas celebrating folk!

I am happy to report that once again I have a "Christmas Elf" living among us! He/she has set the table and made my bed! I so love Christmas elf's! I just wish he/she would live with us all year long!

I am not happy to report that we have an actual little mouse living amongst us as well. Yuck! I think this mouse may be the reason for the psychotic-ness  of my little dog Ella?  She's been acting so weird lately. Even Austin noticed when she spent the night sleeping on HIS bed. Ella really doesn't like Austin so there is defiantly something up with her emotional stability. (What dog in their right mind would willing sleep with a large, sixteen year old  boy that likes to drape her around his neck, like an exotic fur, and then spin in circles?) 

This morning I got up to Rylee dressed and jobs done, Alex dressed and  brewing me a cup of tea and all my teens sleeping peacefully away. 

Why this sweet Alex and Rylee behavior before eight am on a Saturday?

Netflix.

Yes, I signed up for a trial month of Netflix through the Wii. 

Happy day at the Richhart home!

So far, I must say, I am not impressed with the line up of movies. (I have decreed that if any R rated movies are viewed or PG-13 without a call for permission, I will cancel our account immediately! I'm not too worried about the R ones, my kids sincerely know better, but some of the PG-13 shows are just as crude and awful as R!) We'll see how this goes. If it inspires them to get up early, get dressed, do their jobs and make me herbal tea without asking.....it might be worth the $7.99 a month!

Crazy busy day ahead, Ry was given comp tickets to see her friend perform at Hale Center today. Lucky for me, I get to accompany her. So we're heading there after I pick her up early from her primary Christmas party,  Kambree is driving in to perform at Rio Tinto stadium this afternoon, (I hope we don't have snow for the drive or the performance!) and I'm showing houses later this afternoon.

The hustle and bustle is upon us my friends! 

Good luck!

Virtue

Since I pick out Alex's vocabulary words each week, I try to find words that I think he really needs to understand. This week I chose virtuous as one of the fifteen. On Wednesday's he has to write sentences using his vocabulary words. In the morning during our "before school studying' (where I try to get the bulk of his oral reading done when there is only two kids home as opposed to 5+)  I had him verbally give me sentences with his vocab words to prepare him for his after school sentence writing. For virtuous he told me.

"I am virtuous because I take shower!" 

So we had a big talk on the difference about being physically clean and morally clean. Now, with Alex I don't mince words. I just tell it like it is. (I figured I have a late start and he's so literal that he doesn't get subtlety.) We covered everything from sex before marriage to sexually transmitted diseases and porno.

 I was very direct and refereed to male anatomy, what it does, pregnancy out of wedlock and some of the results of STD's. I told him how sex is wonderful when your married and about how you should only have sex with the woman you marry. I asked if they taught this in Ukraine, abstinence before marriage? No.  It was just him and I and our conversation lasted about 15 minutes. Very direct and he looked right at me, comprehending (at least I think so) every word. Sincerely, I  covered it all. When he left for school I worried that I had maybe said too much? "Really Wendy, he's only twelve. Maybe you said a little more than necessary?" 

I went to lunch with a few other moms (some of my favorite people in the world)  that have adopted from Ukraine also. We all shared stories about our kids and asked each other for advice and suggestions. It's such a refuge to hang out with these women each month and know that they get what you're talking about and that they're right there, often times in the same situation or have gone through similar things. A couple of our mom's shared stories of their kids struggling with peer pressure and how the lack of self esteem makes them easy prey for other kids to get them to do things that they know is wrong. But in the desire to have friends and fit in, they make bad choices. So sad. 

After our lunch I felt a little better about my talk with Alex. Although he is more about the age of a 8-10 year old (sometimes 5 depending on the situation?) emotionally and socially, his  physical body is most defiantly a 12 year old's. And although I know he likes girls, he's still pretty shy about making any sort of contact with them. But I'm not so sure the girls are as shy as he is.

After school I privately asked him if he was okay about our talk this morning? That I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable or yucky. That maybe I had said too much?

His reply?

"No mom. It was good. I would rather learn about this while I am little."

That was EXACTLY what I was thinking! 

We talked about how it would be so much harder to learn these stuff AFTER making bad choices and how right he is about learning about this NOW and not later.

Whew.

I didn't scare the bejebers out of him! 

And maybe, just maybe, he is not only physically but emotionally & socially 12 at times!

Decorating The Tree!

Thanksgiving and This and That!

Well, we survived the storm and we survived Thanksgiving!

The storm wasn't all it was cracked up to be! I was grateful Kambree made it home before it hit because it did come down fast and furious but given the hype, I was really expecting more! But that's okay. Like I really want more? Give me a break.
I could do without this cold though. Brrr.... 

Thanksgiving was TWENTY FOUR people at my house! Luckily mom mom cooked the bird, gravy and stuffing. Wednesday we cleaned the house and pulled out all the tables and borrowed more chairs and I painstakingly made sure that each set of silverware at least matched at each place setting. Then I made name cards and figured out where to put the lefties, sat all the couples together, the little girls on the bench, the teens together! Whew! Then of course my kids came in and had to put their two cents in on the whole thing ! Grrr...Then my brother called an hour before the dinner letting me know he was bringing his girlfriend and I had to re-configure it all. But that's okay. It all came together and the girlfriend had a place and a name tag.  And I am happy to announce that I have purged my china hutch of the twenty five extra butter knives that match NOTHING, the saucers without cups and the mugs I didn't dare throw out three years ago in the event I needed to serve cocoa to thirty people or something. I love to purge. I could clean out closets and drawers and throw things out for pure entertainment! (I need to hook up with someone that likes to do windows and walls and exchange services! I HATE windows and walls!)

I had this brilliant idea to make a poster Thanksgiving morning and have everyone list the things they are thankful for. It ended up that all our guests contributed. Besides the basics like family, food, Jesus, healthy bodies,  etc., here are some of my favorites and/or different/crazy items that were penned on our poster:

Trampolines

Tampons

Indoor Plumbing
Green Jell-o

Mascara
Electric Blankets and Heated Car Seats (Yes, that was me!)

Grandpa's Boat

Walton Waffles

Ukraine-because now we have Alex (Nope not me....a sister!)

Smooching
Guacamole  
Red Box
My Spleen
Barbies
Bobby Pins
Boobies

Hair Color

iTunes

Glee
and 

Not living in an orphanage

(You can probably guess who wrote that last one!)

Some of the items have gone unclaimed but SOMEONE wrote them! (I have a picture of the poster as well as Thanksgiving  pics and will post it when I figure out what to do about my lack of storage space on Picasso!)
Alex gave me a thumbs up when I asked how his first TRADITIONAL Thanksgiving was? Last year - his first year -  we dragged Thanksgiving up to James in Wyoming and ate sitting on the floor with paper plates balanced on our laps. This year Alex was very helpful with the preperations and at the end of the day Wednesday proclaimed that Christmas is not as much work! Hum....not sure I agree with that one!

CUTE ALEX ALERT!
I've been asking for Christmas lists from everyone and Alex has had a hard time thinking of anything. (Keep in mind I am boycotting video games/Wii games/DS games and all gaming systems or anything that contributes to the electronic, brain dead, zombiness of my children!) He asked me if I remembered his first birthday in America? How I just bought him things without asking him?  I reminded him that was because he didn't speak English very well. (He'd been home less than 3 months) Yes, he knows but he would like me to do that for Christmas this year too. So far the only thing he could come up with is new snow boots and "resources" to make inventions. Can I just tell you how this warms my heart? Since his list has been a mile long since the minute he could communicate in English!

This morning my mom and sis an I hit the stores, but not at the "butt crack of dawn" which is so crude to say yet so descriptive of the way I feel about getting up early! (Kids if you're reading this I meant to type "Bottom crack of dawn!) We didn't grace Kohl's with our presence until 7am and thanks to running into my friends, they shared the trick of buying something at the jewelry counter and getting all your purchases rang up there instead of standing in the  check out line that snaked all the way around the store! Whootwhoo for friends sharing shopping secrets!

Alex has had a terrible barky cough lately. I call it kennel cough because he sounds just like our late dog, Honey when we adopted her from the pound. I struggle with Alex and sickness as he tends to exaggerate. I am sure that exaggeration got you attention or at the least sent to the sanatorium in the orphanage, so I'm not sure his cough is as bad as he's making it out to be. Does that make sense? I'm giving it through the weekend. The fact that I'm not letting him outside in the bitter cold might improve it greatly as he loves to play outside, go sledding and throw snowballs.

FUNNY AUSTIN ALERT!
So as you know this is "No shave November" for Austin and he is getting quite scruffy. Much to my dismay. I talked Kambree into helping me get him to shave. She went in to work for a couple of days (she and Austin work at the same bakery) while home for Thanksgiving and before he got to work she wrote this up on the white board:
Notice! New health code regulation:  You must have a clean shaven face to handle food
~Management
She got her manager to go along with it and Austin totally fell for it! Good thing he doesn't read my blog!  Teeheehee! He should be shaving tonight as he goes to work again tomorrow!

Well, I realized that this weekend we're going to have to get the tree up as Kambree will not be home until Christmas break and James heads to work on Tuesday and won't be home until mid December.

Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving and were safe and warm and surrounded by those you love. I have many new friends waiting on pins and needles to get to Ukraine and get their children and I know from experience how bitter-sweet the holidays are when part of your heart is half way around the world. God speed my friends. Two years ago, I was in the very same boat and this Thanksgiving I realized it was time for our yearly update to the Ukraine embassy. (We are asked to make a report after six months and then each year after that, and it's been a year since our first update.) I worked on filling out the form Thanksgiving morning. Here's the link if you need it. (No pressure or anything, those of you who have NEVER reported. Wink, wink!)
http://www.ukrainesf.com/index.htm

If this doesn't take you to the PDF report, you can use their search bar and search for the word "annual report on adopted child from Ukraine". It's a little tricky, this website.)

The Storm of the Century?

You know... I just don't watch the news. 

It's so depressing.

I do read KSL news here and there but sometimes world events happen and I'm clueless.

I see the news at the gym every morning but unless there is captions, I don't really catch much.

I do visually see the 7 day forecast and I was well aware of little snowflakes posted for today.

I was slightly worried as Kambree is driving home from college today so imagine my surprise when my gym buddy this morning tells me that this storm-a-coming is suppose to be the worst in a long time! (I've heard worst in the last three years as well as the worst in the last 100 years!)

What?

When?

So I get home and start checking weather websites. 

Emailing Kambree.

"When are you leaving for home?"

We find out she has a lab at 5:20 that she cannot miss as she's "teaching" on a cadaver (What the heck? Not only the dead body part but this is her first year of school! Anatomy. So, so glad I never went into medicine!)

James sends off an email to the administration as Kambree tells us the only way she can get out of class is if the President of the college cancels class.

Meanwhile I get the kids out the door to school. Tell the little one's to bundle up as I cannot pick them up afterwords (but my BFF Amy is covering for me there) as I will be at Devree's first basketball game. About an hour south of here.

Amy calls and tells me her son's swim meet is canceled.

I text Dev. "Any news about basketball being canceled?"

No answer.

(Good girl. She's suppose to leave her phone in her locker.)

I call the high school myself.

YES. Basketball GAME is canceled but they will instead have practice. Grrr...

I check in with Kambree.

No notice of class cancellation .

Everything I'm reading says the storm will hit us around 4 to 5 pm. With Kambree not leaving school until 6. She's for sure going to hit it.

Here is our texting conversation.

This is a serious storm. It's coming from the North so you have some time.  But if you can't get out of lab, you might have to stay for T-day.

I might have to st? (I tend to type too long on my email to her text and the past part of my message gets cut off.)

You might have to STAY. It's that serious.

Oh that message freaked me out.
This is a serious storm. It's coming from the North so you have some time.
But if you can't get out of lab, you might have to stay for T-day. It's that
serious.

:(

Then her face book post said "As much as I love you college, I do not want to spend Thanksgiving with you!!"

I called the college presidents office (yea, look at me...going straight to the top!) and they told me they were making a decision to cancel classes or not and would have a decision by noon. 

About an hour later Kambree got this email:

Effective Immediately

All further classes are canceled today due to Severe weather storm.

  If you are traveling North, please leave as soon as you can to be home by 3:00 p.m.

James and I like to think we shut down the school! (Teeheehee!) Then we got the same message numerous times from different college people and well wishes for our daughter to travel in safety. (Because we'd been emailing and calling!)

I am happy to report at 2 she made it home. At three Dev's bb practice was canceled and now all my little hens are home to roost in the coop!

May we all just hunker down and ride this out! I hear it's hit up north where my friend Christy is. She's keeping me updated via email. (As long as she has power! She's worried she should have bought hot dogs for T-day to roast on the fire in the event they loose power!)

My brother had a two hour safety course this afternoon and was told to go to bed and get sleep because he'd be up all night behind the plow. (He works for the city of Riverton in their street maintenance.) He called very concerned about Kambree driving home but luckily we had already made a ruckus and she was on her way home.

I have a pot of  jambalaya in the crock pot and we plan to stay home and watch movies and play games.

Stay home. Stay warm and stay safe everyone!

First Snow Storm of The Season!

Good thing we got those leaves raked!

Last night when the snow storm hit, my children insisted on running outside barefoot. Proclaiming this a first snow storm ritual that they do every year.

Really?

Why don't I remember this?

I was hesitant because Alex has had a cough, and Rylee came home from school sick on Friday so my first response was "No. Of course not!"

Then I gave in with a "Well, if you get sicker....don't complain to me!" And with that they went running into the frozen abyss! Squealing with laughter.

Seriously, this is not a tradition that I am aware of. Apparently the first snow storm has always happened with me NOT home? Because they are insisting they do this every year and yet, I do not recall this insane tradition in the least!

They were back inside with frozen, throbbing feet before I could locate the camera but here they are defrosting their feet against the fireplace. (We have one of Devree's friends joining in - just in case you're wondering)

Crazy kids!

Then they put on boots and coats and Austin came home from work and they had an impromptu snowball fight.

And this morning, this is what we woke up too:

Ahh....snow....winter....

I wouldn't mind it if it could just be warmer, (like 70 degrees) less messy (no tracking it in all over the floor, wet boots, and soggy coats and hats piled in front of the fireplace to dry) and the roads would always be dry and safe - it's scary enough having teenage drivers - adding snow to the equation only adds more grey hair to my head!

Regardless, winter is here which means I will be inside! Where it's warm. If I must venture out, I will be perched upon my heated car seat with the heater blasting. 

And to think, I come from pioneer stock??

While raking 400 pounds of leaves...

....this afternoon Alex and I had this conversation:

Mom?

Yes.

I think I need to read to you again.

Really? Why?

I took my AR test.

Oh. How was it?

Bad. I did bad. 

Oh?

I got one out of ten.

Oh. Did you bring home a new AR book?

Yes.

Okay. Then we'll start tonight?

Yes. 

As I smile to myself and he goes in to start his homework.

See why I needed him to take that AR test?? He has been refusing to read out loud to me (because "only babies read out loud" and he's big you know?) for the past couple of months yet when  I quiz him on what he's been reading to himself, he seems to be getting the jest of it. I just knew he needed more help.I knew these books were over his head and yet I hate to be the baddie and tell him he can't read them. Thank you AR test!  I knew it!! Score one for me! And now wish me luck. Thirty minutes a day of reading with my 12 year old. 

Tonight's book? 

In his journal today:

I am going to read with my mom and we are going to have a great time.

(We can always have hope...right?)

And for his extra sentence

My mom rack (raked) the live's (leaves) and now she smell's (smells) like live's (leaves).

True. I was complaining that I smelled like leaves after coming in from filling BOTH garbage can's and a large garbage sack of leaves. And yet.....there are still leaves all over our yard!

Saturday!

Saturday morning after Alex got back from working on his merit badge, Devree got up, Jazmine's mom picked her up, Austin was already at work and I went and retrieved Rylee from the church where she was practicing for the primary program the four of us, Devree, Alex, Rylee and myself jumped in the car and headed south to catch Kambree performing with the drill team during half-time at a football game.

We had a late start but made good time. We had to stop for gas and a quick-eat-in-the-car lunch from McDonald's and then I missed a turn trying to find a bathroom in one of the small towns we drove through and we ended up squeaking in with three minutes left in the half!

Cost of gas & food $55

Cost to get into the game $18

Chance see the last 3 minutes of the 1st half and then watch this:

Priceless!

We turned around and drove home to get Rylee home in time to curl her hair and get to her 5:30 call time.  Here are a few pictures from afterwords on Friday night:

Then I took Ry and her friends to Wendy's:

And now I cannot load anymore pictures because I am out of Picasso storage? What the heck? I don't know what I am doing here in blog world. Apparently I have thousands of pictures on Picasso. How do I get them off? Someone please explain! And that big space in this post that says "priceless" is video of Kambree dancing but it's not publishing, although it's sitting here while I am composing. I am so confused. Dear blogging fairy, please help!

Alex Update Clarification

I need to remember to NOT blog when I'm upset. 

My last Alex entry was written right after the bath incident. It's sort of therapy for me to just let it all out but after I cool down and re-read and although every last bit of it is TRUE, I realize that I am only writing about the things that are irritating me and not all the good and great things he did all week.

I didn't write about how last week he comes in and sees me making dinner and asks if he can help or he just pitches in with the dishes when I'm covering for another child because she's been at rehearsals for hours on end. I didn't write about his sweet journal entries that talk about how grateful he is to have me because I "tell him the rite thing to do." or how he invited a non member friend to scouts. I didn't blog about how he took control of his friends and their out of control wrestling situation, informing them all that there is no "holding around the neck" or "hitting in the balls". And I also didn't write about the "lock down" at the elementary on Tuesday. The kids were kept on "lock down" for two hours because some hooligans were running around and the police were chasing them. I was at the school thirty minutes early  trying to pick up Rylee to get her over to the high school for dress rehearsals and condemned to stand out in the cold on the front steps, and wait. Alex, from his 6th grade class window could see that I was there and after waiting and hour and 15 minutes (45 minutes after school was suppose to let out!) they opened the doors to the shivering parents and  let us in to get our kids. ( I was grabbing mine and all my neighbors kids!) Upon seeing Alex you could see the relief on his face. Later he told me how glad he was to see me when school let out, and that he knew he was okay because his mom was standing outside on the steps. (Whew, I didn't even know he could see me!) All those things happened this past week too.

Yesterday we took a trip south to see Kambree dance during a football half time. On the way we stopped for Happy Meals. (A real treat at our house since we rarely do fast food.) All the kids thanked me profusely but then I got a "Thank you a lot mom!" from Alex. He really loves chicken nuggets and fries.

On the way home, Rylee fell asleep and Devree was coming home with Kambree in her car and so, it was just Alex and me riding home. We started talking about his friend Bogdan arriving in America this week and I asked him what sort of advice would he give Bodgan about living in America? The first two things he would tell him is:

 Listen

and

 Obey

The best part about living in America?

Church....sometimes

and

Going to school and making friends.

(I had to ask at this point. "So....it's not having a family?" "No mom, family is #1!" and he says it in such a way that it's almost like "Duh, mom! Like you had to ask?")

The hardest part about living in America?

Learning English

Learning Rules

The thing he misses most about Ukraine

Friends in the orphanage AND THAT IS ALL!

Then this evening I sat down at the computer to check emails and see if my friends had blogged and he came in to read me his extra sentences in his journal. Afterwords he kissed me on the cheek and then smashed his cheek against main proclaiming "I love you so, so much mom." 

So, many thanks for the hugs, advice and sympathy on my last post. I need to remember to give credit where credit is due. He is still learning. He is still very, very, young emotionally and socially despite his outward appearance and his opinion of how big and tough he is. 

And bless his heart....despite my "grrs" and crazed-mother-clean-up-this-bedroom fit, he still loves me and keeps on trying!

Grrr.....

That is the sound I am continually making these days when it comes to just about ANYTHING with Alex. 

It's killing me. 

Grrr....

After a rough week last week, we had a different sort of rough week this week.

Reading.

Now that Alex has decided reading is sort of fun, he's taken to checking out books WAY over his reading level. After talking with his teacher last week it was decided (mostly by my input) that we would have Alex read AR books that he could be tested on to make sure he's comprehending and so we can track what level he is reading on.  I told Alex he could still read his cool-way-over-his-level-and-pretty-much-incomprehensible books but that his required 30 minutes 5 times a week needed to be an AR book.
He agreed.

Brings home an AR book Friday.

Finishes it Tuesday morning. 

I tell him to get his AR test done and get a new book Tuesday morning.

Wednesday night I follow up and ask how the AR test went.

Oh, I couldn't find it on computer. My friend help me. He couldn't find too.

Did you ask your teacher?

No

Did you ask the librarian?

No.

Well, you need to ask an adult, not your friend. Your friend is not your teacher for a reason.

Did you get a new AR book?

No.

Why?

(Shrug)

He has brought home some sort of science fiction-ghoul book.

We discuss that his thirty minutes of reading needs to be an AR book. This book doesn't count.

Then we had a big talk about seeking help and following instructions with promises of taking care of everything tomorrow.

The next morning I remind him about taking the AR test and getting a new AR book.

Thursday afternoon.

"Oh mom, librarian say I can no get a new book every day."

He still has the same crazy-over-the-top ghoulish book.

Did you bring this book back and explain that you checked out the wrong book. That you need an AR book?

No.

Did you talk to your teacher?

No.

Did you take your AR test?

(He hits his hand against his forehead) 

I forgot.

Really?
Grrr...

Lecture #2 for the week on communicating, responsibility, follow through.

Friday morning, I remind him AGAIN about what he needs to do.

(I email his teacher too.)

Friday afternoon.

"Teacher says I take AR test on Monday, no time today." 

Okay.

What about your AR book?

His countenance changes instantly. 

He looks at the floor.

He has forgotten.

Grrrrr......

This conversation just happens to take place at the same time I am checking his room so he can play. He was suppose to clean it up and vacuum and dust since I couldn't vacuum earlier in the day due to the lack of visible carpet on the floor. 

I am so ticked at this time that when I tell him his room is unacceptable and to start over as junk is shoved everywhere, he's vacuumed AROUND the shoes on his floor and the dresser and nightstand are teaming with piles of crap and parts and MORE JUNK that  when he says:

What is wrong with my room?

I lose it.

I proceed to push everything off the dresser, nightstand, onto the floor and throw all the shoes and crap out of the corners, clothes that didn't make it in the hamper all in to the middle of his room

THIS IS WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR ROOM!

And I have to leave.
My heart is racing.

It was throw the stuff or wring his neck!

I know this is about more than a clean room. 

This is the issue we've had all week over the stupid AR book and test.

But I'm done.

I'm crazy done!

He cleans up his room like no other, including cleaning out his FIVE drawers of junk & top of his closet and throwing away an entire garbage sack of GARBAGE! 

(Which he did not do on his own accord but upon the 2nd inspection of his room - which looked pretty dang good except for the inventions resources parts junk that couldn't find a place in the designated FIVE drawers and entire top of his closet. I suggested he FIND room in the places provided even if it involves throwing things out!)

So last night. 

We hug goodnight and I suggest that tomorrow we try not to have any more crazy long talks. That we just have a nice weekend.
He's all sweet and gives me hugs and then comes back in for more. 

He really is a cuddly bug.

(I am trying to put this AR issue behind us, even though his reading this weekend will be stupid-crazy-over-the top ghoul book.)

I wake him up to get to scouts this morning (third class for his communication merit badge) and to jump in the shower as he missed his last night.

As he's getting out, I remember that there isn't any soap in the bathtub when I cleaned yesterday.

I go up and as he's drying off and I ask if he used soap.

Long pause.

And then.....

No.

Well, at least he's not lying....right?

So, I tell him he'll have to take another bath later, he doesn't have time now and that the shower he took this morning was useless because HE DIDN'T USE SOAP!

Grrrr....

(But a little wootwoot....at least he didn't lie!)

I make him breakfast and explain that I it must be hard being in trouble all the time. It's got to suck. (Yes, I used the suck word. I hate that word but in this instance, it was the best word choice.) I can't do anything about it. He knows the rules.He knows his responsibilities. He's lived here 18 months and he knows and understands everything there is to know regarding our expectations of him. If he wants to have a more enjoyable life, he will start figuring it out, following the rules and being responsible. If not we will have these sorts of talks/lectures every day. It's not fun for him and it's certainly not fun for me. I tell him I pray daily for patience with him, that I can just enjoy him and love him but maybe he needs to start praying too. Praying he can remember what it is he's suppose to do.(During each of this weeks talks lectures rants Alex looks contrite and tries not to cry. Eyes water, voice quivers but he doesn't actually lose it. I know he feels bad. He feels bad he's in trouble. Not for what he's done or what he's forgotten to do.)

Then he's off to scouts.

Austin was privy to the last part of our conversation and after Alex left I asked if he thinks I am too hard on Alex?

Sometimes. You get on his case for everything.

It's true.

I do.

But I find if I give Alex ANY slack, then he thinks that's the norm. He thinks if I let something slide, I will let it slide forever. He gets confused if I let him off the hook one day and then he does the same thing the next and I call him on it, so I've found it's easier to just call him on it.....every time.

I also mention Alex's moral compass. The issue that he feels bad he got CAUGHT not the fact that he feels bad he did something wrong. I ask Austin, how do you teach a child this? One that missed the first ten years of nurturing and moral values?

I don't know. I'm not a parent. I never raised a child before.

I tell him I haven't either. 

He looks at me puzzled.

I tell him, I'm raising children but none of them are all the way raised. I'm just learning as I go. I don't claim to have all the answers. 

You can tell he's thinking about it.

Then I ask him to tell me something.

What?
Tell me I don't suck.

(Again that dreaded "s" word.)

You don't suck.

Thanks Austin.

And I can say that without any guilt because I've been taught not to lie.

Aww....thanks Aust.

And he left for work.

Here's a picture of Alex skating...

I'm always getting comments on how much Alex looks just like us and how very, very cute he is. Which he is. And I've said this more than once. "Good thing he's cute because it's his saving grace some days!"