Mosquito's & Mom's

Alex got back from his week long scout trip covered with mosquito bites!

I think they hiked 35 miles.

He was telling us about camp, catching frogs and swallowing bugs at dinner tonight and Devree announced, "If I was on that hike, I would cry. I would cry that I wanted to go home and be with my mommy." 

Alex confessed. "I did. I cried Wednesday night."  I asked if he cried for home and for his mom?  He nodded yes. Apparently the bugs were so bad he couldn't sleep and around 2 am he started to cry for home and me.

My poor boy.

He told me how great it felt to come home and take a shower and use the toilet! (He actually gave me a vivid verbal account about pooping in the great outdoors, an experience I will not share here on my blog.)

 But he also said he had a great time on his trip!

While he was away I purged his room. I didn't mean too. I was just changing the sheets on his bed and started straightening and made the mistake of opening a drawer to put something away and it was un-open-able due to the junk crammed in there. I started with one drawer and an hour later  I had every drawer, closet, and shelf cleaned and all the furniture vacuumed under and moved around.

I threw out  junk! Bit's and pieces of wire, tape, garbage. I did dedicate one drawer in his desk just to electronic parts and one drawer for tools. 

I was sort of in a huff thinking "I'll show him!, He'll be so sorry!" But when I was through I knew he would never notice what I threw out and exactly what he'd say. I was right. Upon seeing his room he said "Thanks mom for cleaning my room so good." 

It's hard for me to understand his pack-rat mentality. I know he clings to things because he never had things that were his own before and I know that his mechanical inclination makes him see treasure in parts and pieces and what I consider garbage. It's just something I struggle with. I hate clutter. Good thing when I go on a rampage (which I tend to do quarterly) he's just sweet and grateful he has a clean room.

Before Alex left for camp and the day I got back from camp we had a lying issue.....again. About doing his job. (Seriously, he lies about the dumbest things!) After a big, emotional confrontation I tried talking to him. I told him the other children didn't do their jobs but they were not in trouble like he was. Why is that? What didn't they do?

"Lie."

"Right they didn't lie. Why do you think that is?"

His eyes filled with tears, "Because they learned not to lie when they were one!"

"Well, then why haven't you learned not to lie? You've been here for over two years."

That set him back. 

I think he thought he had an out. He wasn't raised by us from birth so he should be excused for all his character flaws? Really?  He sure set himself up this time, claiming his siblings learned not to lie at age one!

The secondary problem when Alex gets in trouble is he takes his consequence quite well, he doesn't complain but he never apologizes and/or acknowledges he did anything wrong. That bugs me. In fact, it hurts me. He just acts like everything is back to normal. He got in trouble, got a punishment and then moves forward like all is well with the world and nothing happened. 

So, I asked how he would feel if I just hauled off one day and punched him in the stomach?
Bad.
What if I got in some trouble but then I just went on like nothing happened. How would he feel?
He admitted he would feel bad.
What if I never said I was sorry? How would you feel?
Bad.
Would you want to be around me?
No.
Would you feel like things were good between us?
No.
Well, that's how I feel when you lie to me and don't apologize or tell me your sorry. 

Oh, he said.

We talked about the steps of repentance (for the umpteenth time)and then he looked me in my eyes (a feat that is so very hard for him to do when he's in trouble) and told me he was sorry.

Yea. I know he was apologizing because "I made him". But like many of the other issues we've tackled, someone has to teach him and tell him bluntly. He does not learn by example or intuition.

I have to confess that it was a relief to see him go off to scout camp this week however, by the end of the week- when all the fruit was going bad (he eats most the fruit in our home) - I started missing him and his daily hugs.

He asked me last week what I thought his Ukraine mom was doing now? I wasn't sure what to say. I told him that maybe she was missing him? Wondering what he looked like? Wishing she had been a better mom? He told me "No. She didn't care about me like that." 

Yep, pretty sure I was the mom he was crying for while being attacked by mosquito's this week.

That my friends makes all the tears, talks, and drama worth it.