Moments...

Some moments throughout the day are smooth. Alex is happy, cheerful, willing to learn, grateful, sweet and I have hope and promise that he'll soon be able to communicate with us.
I have moments of "I am so glad he is ours" and moments of knowing this is so right. It is during these moments that I blog. My nice warm and fuzzy moments.
Then there are other moments....
where he cries because he can't do his time tables as fast as Rylee
Moments when he pouts & walks off when he doesn't win at Wii or every other single thing he plays at.
Moments he won't go to scouts or a friends or even want to go support his new family members at recitals and programs.
Moments he cheats at card and chess games.
Moments he disapproving sniffs at the food I've prepared, wrinkles up his nose and pronounces "Me no eat!"
Moments he stomps into the bathroom or bedroom when asked to comb his hair, brush his teeth or change his clothes.
Moments he hides in his closet and refuses to come out when he's in trouble for disobeying and or being unkind.
Moments he barks "no" at everyone or answers with an abrupt and unhappy voice and/or grunt.
Moments he despises taking a bath every day and chooses not to dry off with a towel but puts his pajamas on over his wet skin which consequently become plastered to his body.
Moments he makes a big deal out of tiny injuries and grimaces with fake pain sounds and whimpering if you touch him the wrong way.
And moments he pretends to be sick and exaggerates coughs or sniffles.
It is during these moments that I have to remind myself to TAKE A MOMENT and try to see things from Alex's point of view.
I bet there are moments that...
he is tired of eating all this foreign, weird looking food that is so unfamiliar to him and his taste buds.
Moments he wishes his new mom wouldn't make him eat green vegetables and/or try everything on his plate.
Moments he feels the need to win at everything to win approval and respect from those around him.
Moments he gets so tired of hearing English in his ears.
Moments he is unsure if we're laughing at him or at something else.
Moments he wishes he could tell us how he feels, what is wrong or just have a two sided conversation.
Moments he wishes his new mom would let up on his regular bath schedule or personal hygiene habits.
Moments he wishes he could forget about learning English and catching up in one summer what other children his age have figured out over eleven years.
Moments he wishes his mom wouldn't sit him at the computer translation program to talk about trust, poor sportsmanship, being kind etc.
Moments he wishes he was an only child instead of sharing his new found parents with four other siblings-who have been with these parents from birth and share memories, relationships and a past he has no part of.
Moments he misses his half-brother half a world away and the only loving relationship he has ever known up until now.
Moments he wonders if he'll ever understand English, ever be able to banter with his family and friends.
And moments he wonders if he'll ever feel like he fits and belongs.
When I think about the moment's Alex must or may have, it makes my moments of complaint seem so inconsequential and trivial.
I just need to remember at this moment that I am the mother, he is the child and these moments both his and mine and both good and bad will not last.....