Lovely Lunch!

What a relief! Our "Mom's Forever Waiting" lunch today was so therapeutic! It was so great to hear that I am not the only mother going crazy...waiting! That Lex was not the only child that had emotional fits of tears and frustration when he was here!
You know, I read all these blogs and I hear all the happy, fuzzy warm stuff and yet in my life - along with the occasional "This is so right", "It will all work out" feelings and thoughts - I have had bouts of "What the heck?" "What am I thinking?" and yet I don't read that in other blogs? I read about how prefect and wonderful their experience is or has been and I start doubting. (Okay, I do read about how frustrating the process is and the paper work and the waiting...but not like the doubts that James and I have gone through getting to this point.)
So HURRAY!! Today I felt like, "I'm not alone!" Thanks Amy, Ann, Jen, Lori & David (our token Dad!). I can't wait to compare notes again next month.
One of our sweet mom's refuses to wash the fingerprints off her walls that her children made and she burst into tears talking about them, two commented on how quiet and lonely their homes feel without their children (not a problem for those of us with children still at home) one worries that she's emailing the adoption coordinator so much that he'll start disliking her, (a problem I too am worried about!) and even though we all had talks with our children before they left we all have doubts and worries that they still want to come or that they might be doubting that we'll come for them. No one has had contact with their child. And we're just all in the same sad boat, floating on a sea of concern and anxiety.
Here's something! In my fortune cookie at lunch today it said "There are riches heading your way!" Whohoo! I so need that! I just don't think I could have a got a better fortune! I hate to admit it but I am very superstitious. (Like, I think I'll get a letter in the mail box from Lex if someone else brings in the mail but if I bring it in, then I won't get one! So far it doesn't really matter who brings it in, there just isn't a letter! But I play this game in my head each day.) When I was engaged I got a fortune in a cookie that said "You will be happy in marriage." I have a few other great ones too. I keep these fortunes tucked in my wallet. One of my favorites is "You have riches in your heart." (Note my last name, Richhart!) Do I think God talks to me through fortune cookies? No, not really but it can't be just coincidence that I get fortunes that are so pertinent to my life at the moment. So, maybe it's not a direct link from God, maybe more like a little tender mercy, hope for the future, good karma, what have you. Anyway, enough of my crazy confessions...
Next months lunch is the third Thursday in December, email me if you'd like to get on our email invite list.