Adoption is a lot like pregnancy except you don't get to feel the little flutters, movement and outright kicks reminding you that your child is alive and well. Instead you watch for letters, try to make phone calls, pray for him and hope he's okay. Even though you don't have the protruding belly, heartburn and swollen ankles, your thoughts & worry are constantly with him. Is he warm? Does he believe we're coming? Does he still want to come? Is he well? Is he getting enough to eat? Are the other children being nice? Did he get his package? .....
And like pregnancy you have your good days and bad days. Today started out bad. I've been trying to call Alex since Tuesday. I told him via instant messaging when he was with Ivan, I would call on the 27th . In my mind's eye I picture my Alex, standing forlornly in a dark hallway outside the office waiting for my phone call and it never came. Tuesday morning my translator's phone died and I wasn't able to try the orphanage until 8:30 am which is 5:30 pm their time and the phone just rang and rang. Probably out of the office for the day.
This morning I tried again and again I couldn't get my translator. (He had left his phone and computer at a friends. ) Now, I can't make these calls on my own. No one there speaks English and I can say dog, baby, bread and grandma in Ukrainian so that certainly would be an odd conversation.
This comes on the heels of bad news yesterday about our re-finance. (Remember? The funds we need to complete this adoption? Yeah, re-finance not finished-and may not be with this lender!)
While feeling sorry for my situation all around I get a call that I need yet another document re-done and sent to the Ukraine. The Pollyanna part of me thinks, "At least I found out before I overnighted the first set of redone documents" but the grumpy-"pregnant"-feel sorry for myself- part of me, thinks "Why me?" (Mine was the only document that had to be redone-even though we all had completed our documents the same-I'm not even going into it on this post!)
Anyway, I ran to the assessors office, pleaded my case, had my document filled out and re-notarized, ran up to the capital and picked up my last appostilled document and everything is ready for tomorrow's FedEx drop.
I'm reminded of a conversation I had with Rylee a few days ago when she told me she was having a "horrible" day because her good friend can't come to her birthday party and something else was wrong. (I can't remember exactly what is was...is that a sign of dementia?) I, feeling Pollyanna-ish at the time told her at least everyone is alive with no broken bones or pregnant out of wedlock, in a gang, doing drugs or incarcerated. She had to admit that those things would be worse. So, I'm going to give myself the same pep talk! "Self, things could be worse. You could have a document that is harder to fix, or worse, find out about it later when it's too late to fix it, not to mention, it's a good thing Self, you were home and available to run around and get it taken care of. And Self, your re-fiance will get done sooner or later, you're very blessed to know a most wonderful loan officer-that you should have just gone with in the first place! Also Self, when you do call Alex-tomorrow-chances are that he wasn't waiting or worried and you really should stop torturing yourself with visions of what orphan life is like, besides if he was waiting for your call then he'll even be more happier to hear your voice tomorrow and the great news that you have a submission date and a rough estimate of when you'll be there! So Self, knock it off and cheer up!!"
And like pregnancy you have your good days and bad days. Today started out bad. I've been trying to call Alex since Tuesday. I told him via instant messaging when he was with Ivan, I would call on the 27th . In my mind's eye I picture my Alex, standing forlornly in a dark hallway outside the office waiting for my phone call and it never came. Tuesday morning my translator's phone died and I wasn't able to try the orphanage until 8:30 am which is 5:30 pm their time and the phone just rang and rang. Probably out of the office for the day.
This morning I tried again and again I couldn't get my translator. (He had left his phone and computer at a friends. ) Now, I can't make these calls on my own. No one there speaks English and I can say dog, baby, bread and grandma in Ukrainian so that certainly would be an odd conversation.
This comes on the heels of bad news yesterday about our re-finance. (Remember? The funds we need to complete this adoption? Yeah, re-finance not finished-and may not be with this lender!)
While feeling sorry for my situation all around I get a call that I need yet another document re-done and sent to the Ukraine. The Pollyanna part of me thinks, "At least I found out before I overnighted the first set of redone documents" but the grumpy-"pregnant"-feel sorry for myself- part of me, thinks "Why me?" (Mine was the only document that had to be redone-even though we all had completed our documents the same-I'm not even going into it on this post!)
Anyway, I ran to the assessors office, pleaded my case, had my document filled out and re-notarized, ran up to the capital and picked up my last appostilled document and everything is ready for tomorrow's FedEx drop.
I'm reminded of a conversation I had with Rylee a few days ago when she told me she was having a "horrible" day because her good friend can't come to her birthday party and something else was wrong. (I can't remember exactly what is was...is that a sign of dementia?) I, feeling Pollyanna-ish at the time told her at least everyone is alive with no broken bones or pregnant out of wedlock, in a gang, doing drugs or incarcerated. She had to admit that those things would be worse. So, I'm going to give myself the same pep talk! "Self, things could be worse. You could have a document that is harder to fix, or worse, find out about it later when it's too late to fix it, not to mention, it's a good thing Self, you were home and available to run around and get it taken care of. And Self, your re-fiance will get done sooner or later, you're very blessed to know a most wonderful loan officer-that you should have just gone with in the first place! Also Self, when you do call Alex-tomorrow-chances are that he wasn't waiting or worried and you really should stop torturing yourself with visions of what orphan life is like, besides if he was waiting for your call then he'll even be more happier to hear your voice tomorrow and the great news that you have a submission date and a rough estimate of when you'll be there! So Self, knock it off and cheer up!!"
1 of my blog friends said something...:
Things will get better! And i am sure the re-finance will get sorted out and resolved and everything will be fine! our heavenly father knows your heart and is mindful of you and Alex and he will not keep you all separated. If that makse sense. "He will bring Alex home to you soon!" (Figure of speech). He will provide a way for you and alex and James of course to reunite and for you to travel to bring him home and then ultimately bring him home to the rest of the family to reunite and start your family with alex in it. I hope this all makes sense! we love you and are praying for you.
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