Ode to January!

Twas the month after Christmas,
And all through the house,
Nothing would fit me,
Not even a blouse.

The cookies I'd nibbled,
The chocolate I'd taste
At the holiday parties
Had gone to my waist.


When I got on the scales
There arose such a number!
When I walked to the store
(less a walk than a lumber),

I'd remember the marvellous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."


As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt...
I said to myself, as I only can,
"You can't spend a winter, disguised as a man!"

So, away with the last of the sour cream dip.
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.


I won't have a cookie, not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie.
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.


I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore...
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all, and to all a good diet.

I did not write this and don't know who did but it's very true. Due to my extreme anxiety with regards to this adoption I've been feeding my stress with chocolates and cookies so last week the day the SDA opened, I gave up sweets. (In an effort to give up something for something I want more...I know a little psycho.)
I am allowing sweets on Sundays.(Come on, I'm not THAT good!) So yesterday I made a big pan of German Chocolate Brownies and they were wonderful! It was really hard last week, I had a "lack of sugar" headache almost everyday but I did it! This week will be hard because of Rylee's b-day and she wants a Costco carrot cake. Yum. I love Costco cakes and the cream cheese frosting is my fav! I think I'll just cut myself a big piece and put it in the freezer for Sunday! My goal (besides my crazy offering of sacrifice for this adoption to go smoothly) is to lose a few pounds before our trip to the Ukraine and another ten while there. My theory is that I hate beets and that's what borscht is made out of and that's the only Ukrainian food I know. Besides that, I am not very brave at trying new foods so I'm bound to lose weight...right? (Or gain by eating at McDonald's everyday? I know they have a McDonald's!) Anyway, that's my fantasy....come home with my boy and be 2 sizes smaller!