Thursday Thoughts...

It's 5 am and I think 9 pm at home. I’ve been staring at the ceiling for over and hour. After a week I can say last night was the longest stretch of sleep I’ve had since I got here. I don’t know what time zone my body’s in but it’s not here.

So, my great plans of taking pictures of children yesterday never happened. Oxana (bless her) spent the day running documents for the Straders and waiting to talk to an obstinate judge for us. In this business of adoption it’s about who you know, and how fast you can talk and convince government officials to listen to you. Oxana is amazing and has somehow secured us a court date of April 3^rd. Unheard of in this region as far a time goes, I guess. We still need our “conclusion” from the social worker, and then those documents rushed to SDA for their approval and recommendation, and we still need documents from Dniproertrosk fixing the birth mothers middle name so many pieces still need to come together but we have a date!! Hurray!

James will need to go to the embassy before heading home after court so we have to find out embassy hours before we can rearrange his flight but with any luck he’ll be home on April 5^th and back to work on the 6^th. He should be home to relieve my parents on the 15^th and I thought Alex and I might be home around the 17^th or 18^th but that is still very much unknown as securing Alex’s passport is now an unknown time frame.

Last night Oxana-I hope just telling me worse case scenario-told me to plan on the10 day waiting period after the 3^rd and another 10 for passport and embassy. Yikes! That’s putting me home on the 23^rd. I just can’t worry about that right now. It seems like an eternity.

Yesterday we had plans for Lex to play computer, take pictures of kids, help Amy talk to her girls and none of that happened. Normally we go to the exercise room but today they put us in Naydia’s office and then felt they needed to entertain us. We went upstairs to two amazing rooms, the fable room and the history room. I’ll post video when I can actually get online.

The power was out at the main building and the computer battery died so no computer game. Alex and James played chess and Tamera (a music teacher that speaks some English) offered to take me on a tour of the orphanage. We went to the same building where I had my informal tour with the children. They wanted me to meet the children so I went right into the rooms where everyone was laying on their “little seven dwarf beds” for their afternoon nap or rest. The made each child stand and tell me their name and then she would pick certain children and tell me what wonderful students they were, other children they sort of brushed off and said “invalid” or “mental deficiencies” this did not sit well with me and I made it a point to talk to and say hello to every child. Beautiful children. Children of our Father in Heaven and I keep giving myself an inner pep talk to smile and look happy and not lose it! I got more and more depressed as we toured the building, the wash room where they wash their hands and feet and do their laundry is like something out of Little Orphan Annie only more depressing. Again, I know they’re doing all they can given their limited resources, the walls are brightly painted, the floors were mopped, the place was warm and tidy but the building is just so old and smelly. I asked if I could see the kitchen and it was clean but ancient and I don’t know what they were making (probably soup) but the kettles were huge!

I just had this incredible impulse to take Alex and run, run from this place where no child should have to live. I tried to picture him lying in that little bed with rows of other little boys, eating in this HUGE cafeteria (with music piped in “to help the digestion”) going to class, taking a shower (which I didn’t see) and washing his clothes out in the trough like sink in the wash room with ancient pipes protruding from the walls and I just wanted to weep.

On the way to the building I saw the girl the Love’s hosted in some sort of headlock with a much smaller boy. Another teacher was already yelling for her to stop but the ladies with me ran to her yelling and I could hear her say “American’s” like don’t fight in front of the American. This girl just wouldn’t stop until they physically pulled her away from the boy. I could tell the adults were very embarrassed about the situation.

That made me think about how much bullying and pecking order must go on and again it made me sad and want to get my boy out of here just as fast as possible.

The Straders got back from swimming so we were finally moved to the exercise room where the kids and James could play. It’s nice to have someone to talk to.

Alex every day says “no da doma-seven” meaning don’t go home until seven. They eat at seven and then get ready for bed and so that’s as long as we can stay. I tell him okay but then sometimes the driver wants to get home and I have no control-no control is a feeling I’m getting used too but I hate ever minute of it!

Alex asked yesterday to please, please come today at ten, we’d been coming around noon each day and staying until 6 or 7. He started with eight but then settled on 10. Its sweet he wants to be with us so much, I just wish we had more to do. I crochet an entire dishcloth yesterday while sitting in the exercise room.

Last night after going out to eat with Oxana and Olec on the way home, we got back to the apartment and no Internet. Apparently when our landlord hooked us up he only paid for so much time? And we’ve exceeded it. I’m hoping to get online today at the school and at least check emails. I’m worried as I’d arranged a phone call for Amy with her girls and Oxana and Oxana was stuck at the judges office and not at the school and even though I told Naydia Amy would be calling at four and that she wanted to talk to each of the girls privately, no one came to get me and I was right next door! I could have at least explained the situation to Amy.

I did learn that this is a government sponsored boarding school and the largest in Ukraine. Although there are 500 children here only 107 are orphan’s. The rest have parents and just come for the week and go home on the weekends. They probably have speech issues. So despite my revulsion of the living arrangements parents actually send their children here. I would send my children here for a day or two just so they could appreciate all we have at home, but I think I’d have to stay with them in the next bed so I could fight off the bullies and make sure they were okay. That’s the only way I’d let them stay.

That Julia of the Straders is a sport. It’s nice that Alex and James have someone else to play with now. I finally put down my crocheting and kicked soccer balls with them and they thought I was hilarious and I witnessed them imitating me to Olec and laughing. Can I help it that they kick both balls to me at the same time and I yelp? Julia is a cute girl and a fabulous soccer player. It seems that if you just give a minute of your time to any of these children you see their great potential and just fall in love.

Alex and Julia did a great charades act of trying to figure out when Alex would leave for home. The motion for court looked like a chopping motion and I just couldn’t figure it out until I realized they were making a judge hitting the desk with his gavel motion. Finally, I got it! Who knows my dear Alex? Who knows when we’ll go home?

Each day Alex uses more and more English. We packed up to leave as our driver was ready but then we switched drivers to go home with our roommates Olec & Oxana and had to wait for about a half hour. Alex laid his head in my lap and let me tickle his face and just sighed with contentment. He’s warmed up to James considerably, they rough house and both work up a sweat playing and when Alex hugs James at the end of the day they always end up in a big wrestling, laughing bear hug!

So today, we’re at the boarding house at ten, hopefully we’ll get pics of kids, call the mission president in Dnipropertrosk and find out what time church is, call the embassy to see what their hours are so we can rearrange James flight home, and then we’ve been invited to the “theater” at six with the children. I don’t know if that means live theater or movie or what, but we’ve got nothing better to do then hang out.

We hope to have Internet later tonight. So if you’re reading this…we’re once again connected!