What I'm Missing Rant....

I think I'm a pretty organized person. According to my offspring I'm "anal" about the condition of my house, I call it OCD'ish as I think the word anal is so....yucky! Anyway, despite my OCD'ness, lately many things have come up missing in our house and it's driving me CRAZY!!!

Here is  a list of the tangible things that are missing;

• My tape dispenser-which is always in my office and everyone knows that if you take it and don't return it....you're in trouble! But it's missing and despite my texting and asking EVERYONE....no one has any idea where it is.
• My pasta spoon-my big Salad Master one that would survive a house fire so NO CHANCE that it broke and someone threw it away. (Besides, I'm the only one that throws anything away-including the card board middle of the toilet paper roll that will continue to sit spinning uselessly on the toilet paper dispenser with the new roll of tp sitting on the counter! Seriously! Why is it I'm the only one that can put the new roll on??)
• Austin's packet of school pictures. I put these in a very special place and dang it! I can't remember what that place is! This is actually on my daily list of things to do.  ( )Find Austin's pictures and has been left unchecked and transferred to the next day's list for a week now. 
• The primary song book. Grrr...this one makes me sooo mad!! Who lent this out or left it at church?It's been missing for months!
• MY COSTUME PIECES!!!! Nothing drives me more crazy than going down in my costume bins (yes, I have eight) and not finding my satin white gloves or my gold pirate tooth! The problem lies with the children that reside in this house and their friends that borrow and NEVER return my costume pieces. (Seriously, who would borrow my gold pirate tooth?? That's gross!) I really don't mind lending them out (except the tooth of course) but just ask my nephew Brach how harsh I am when you don't personally return my stuff!! Or ask Jazmine when she borrowed a few items and I admitted to her that I was a little witchy about my costume stuff being returned. (Only I didn't use the word witchy but it rhymes with it.) 
• The trailer keys. Which have been lost for months and no one knows anything about them. These were actually returned yesterday by my Dad who found them hanging in his key stash. I knew we hadn't lost them but of course we look like we did since we store the trailer and have an abundance of children that "probably" lost them. Good grief!
• James. Yes. Day 23 and I'm missing him....lots!

It makes me worried that like my friend-who found numerous odd items behind her fridge due to her children stashing them there-that I might have a black hole of sorts in my house. (Not that I truly think James is sucked into some black hole or hiding behind the fridge. That would indicate a little psychosis on my part wouldn't it?)

In addition to the tangible missing items above, there are also some very non-tangible things I am missing lately.

I am missing a solid nights sleep. Going on for months now. I wake up around 3 or 4 am and try NOT to look at the clock-assuming it's close to 5 am and my alarm will go off. So, I toss and turn waiting for the alarm to go off, then finally give in and attempt to focus on the digital display which will inform me that it's only 3:30 am!!! What the heck??? Every night. I've tried all sorts of things. Eating carbs before bed-as someone told me I was waking up because I was hungry? Nope.  Going to bed later? Nope. I even tried my sister-in-laws "essential oils" and went to bed smelling like a health food store but it didn't work either! And since I had that one experience in Ukraine on the train when I took an Ambien and then dreamt I was devouring a bag of cashews like a starved chipmunk and woke up to find I actually had, I'm afraid I'll eat the entire contents of my fridge each night if I take any medication. Besides I don't have trouble falling asleep it's staying asleep that's the issue.

I miss my memory. When did this happen? I use to be so good at names and dates and my brain was full of useless facts and trivia. Now I try to search for the info and there's just a blank. Like  my brain just isn't booting up or something. I've just go that stupid little hour glass blinking, telling me to wait. It's so disturbing. Eventually it comes to me but not when I need it!! Is this a sign of what is to come? Am I going to be one of those crazy ladies that leave the house with my bra on the outside of my shirt because I forgot it goes on first?

I miss my childhood. No really. Why was I in such a hurry to grow up? Why didn't I appreciate the days when all I had to worry about is what flavor of  lip gloss to buy? This mortgage paying-in charge of everything-responsible for everyone-life is not all it's cracked up to be! Oh, to be a little kid again with worries like: what to wear and who to walk home from school with. I'd like just a day of it here and there. Wouldn't it be nice?

I miss my wit. Oh, I use to be so quick and witty. One liners just rolled off my tongue. Now? I can totally come up with good ones.....a half hour later! I know who has found my wit and is not returning it anytime soon. Austin. Yes. He took it! That little scalawag! 

I miss my metabolism. Need I say more?

I  miss my babies. I miss blowing zurberts on their bellies and kissing their chubby cheeks. I missed Alex's babyhood entirely. I would just like to go back to those crazy baby days every once in awhile. I had four under eight and their world was what I made it! No one had their own plans, work to get to, homework to get done,  friends wanting to "hang out", cell phones vibrating, i-tunes blaring and insatiable appetites. It was the days of Barney and Telly Tubies and naps and walks to the park. And I was all knowing and looked up too. Don't get me wrong, I love my teens but it's a different ball game and I would just like to re-visit that other game every once in awhile or at the least, remember it better! (See #2 on this list!)

I miss my knowledge and usage of the English language. You will only relate if you have teens and the words that you used your whole life suddenly take on a new meaning. Like "These costumes are so sick!" Which  no longer means sick, as in yucky or bad but suddenly, sick=cool! Bad=good! Wicked=Awesome! And when YOU use these words in this new context....you look dumb. As in DUMB=DUMB!

I miss family TV shows. Like Different Strokes, The Cosby Show, Little House, Doctor Quinn Medicine Woman. Shows you could watch together as a family and not field questions from your ten year old about all the sexual humor jokes.

I miss entertainment creativity. My children are in awe that I know so many words to the songs they listen to. Well, that would be because so many artists are only re-making 80's songs! Don't they have a creative thought on their own? And now Hollywood is remaking movies and TV shows-only adding 21st century smut to them. Really? And why is it a child cannot entertain themselves? What happened to make believe? Making a game out of nothing. Just riding bikes? Why do children need technology and/or parents to be entertained? We're working on that in our home.

Well, I'm sure I'm missing many items on both lists but with my memory, I'll probably remember them tomorrow. Maybe I'll just go back and add to this post later? If I remember that is!

What are you missing???

After note: I found the tape dispenser!!! It was in MY Sunday bag!! That dang missing memory! Now, did I do something with all the other things? Think Wendy think!