The Truth Brush!

This trust thing is so hard for Alex.

Last night I listened to his prayers, "Please help me with trustworthy."

Man-o-man does he need help from a higher source!

This morning while straightening the kids bathroom, I noticed Alex's tooth brush was bone dry. As in, hasn't-been-used-for-days dry.

I went downstairs and pulled him into the main bathroom to fix the back of his hair and asked if he was already for school.

A: Yes.

M: Are your teeth brushed?

A: Yes.

M: No, they're not Alex. No screens for the day. Do you want to tell me the truth now?

He turns and looks me in the eye,

A: Yes, they are brushed.

M: Okay. No screens for two days. When are you going to tell the truth Alex?

He looks at me imploringly, nodding that they are brushed then drops his head and looks at the floor and mumbles, 

A: No, they are not brushed.

M: Okay. No screens for three days and go brush your teeth.

I am fit to be tied at this point.

As he's brushing his teeth I come in and ask why he lied?

He shrugs.

M: Only you know. No one else knows what's going on in your head. Why would you not just brush your teeth? And worse, why would you lie about it? Now you've got a three day punishment. 

The only thing he can come up with is, he just doesn't want to brush his teeth.

I am just baffled.

M: Can you answer me something else.... honestly? When was the last time you brushed your teeth?

He thinks. He counts on his fingers.

A: Saturday?

M: Today is Tuesday and you haven't brushed since Saturday?

I am flabbergasted. (Picture steam coming out of my ears!)

I tell him he can go down and write in his journal why he doesn't want to brush his teeth and lied to his mother about it. (I know, stupid writing assignment but I'm just so mad that I want to ground him from everything and and anything and just make him suffer but I can't think of anything but a writing assignment!!)

As I'm trying to calm down I come up with a brilliant idea. If he's going to act like he's three, I'll treat him like he's three.

I go downstairs and get his glasses out of his locker and tell him "Here little guy, you forgot your glasses" (which he's refusing to wear these days -the novelty has worn off) and I kindly put them on. Then I asked if I could see he shoes.He looks at me a little confused but shoes me his feet.  "Oh, good they're tied" I say and "I've already combed your hair and I know you've brushed your teeth. Do you need to go potty before leaving for school Alex?" He growls a "No!" I then quietly tell him (because I have a house full of girls getting a ride to school) that I am going to treat him like a three year old because he's been acting like one. Then I ask him to read to me what he has. "I can't if I'm little" is his retort. (Oh, he's a smart one!) "I explain in very simple terms just read what you've got means to read to me what you've got so far sweetie." (I am ignoring the I can't if I'm little remark and instead pretending that he cannot understand my question.) He reads to me about how he lied to his mom about brushing his teeth and now he has to write a "lie note". It's time to go so I ask if he has his lunch? His school work? I help him get his jacket on and his backpack and then when it's time to get in the car I follow him out, open the door for him and then an then put his seat belt on. He is sitting ridged like a robot. He is so not happy about this. I quietly ask if he likes being treated like this? "No" he grumbles and refuses to look at me. (Sort of like "If I ignore her she might go away attitude.)  Then I remind him again, if he's going to act like a three year old that cannot remember to brush his teeth and then lie about it, then this is how he'll be treated for the next three days.

He is angry and stares out the passenger window.

I was taking Ella to the groomers after I drop the kids off so I have the girls hand her up and Alex hold her while they get out. (I think I've done pretty well to NOT let them see how I'm treating Alex. I really have been discreet.) I just happen to have my friends 4 year old for the morning so she's the only one left when after the other girls get out, I inform Alex that I would never let a 3 year old walk to class by himself. I will need to hold his hand and walk him to class. His eyes fill with tears. I then ask again if he likes to be treated this way? "No." I ask why? "Because it's embarrassing." I tell him that I don't know what else to do. Maybe he just missed these lesson when he was three and we need to go back so he has a chance to learn them? When you are three you learn to brush your teeth every day and not to lie.

Maren pips up from the back seat. "I never lie. I always tell the truth"

"Good job Maren."

Then I tell him the worst part for me is I was trusting that he was brushing his teeth all this time but now I can't trust him. And if he's lying about this what else is he lying about? Now I need to go back to where we were two years ago when he first arrived home. Remember how he wouldn't brush his teeth?

Maren pipes in again "I always brush my teeth."

(I am loving this little girl reinforcing that even SHE knows these basic life lessons!)

I have him look me in the eye - something he still struggles with when he's in trouble - and I tell him I will stop treating him like this right now if he will promise to do better right now!

He promises.
At some point Maren also added an "Alex you know better!" (Go Maren!)

In hindsight, I shouldn't have taken away the screens. If only I had thought of my brilliant three year old consequence earlier! I should have treated him like a three year old for three days. I think that would have sunk in more. He certainly doesn't like it WAY more than losing screen privileges.
Imagine what fun we could have had. I would have only let him watch PBS kid shows, cut up his meat, held his hand in the parking lot, brushed his teeth myself, put him to bed at seven etc. I really think that would have more effect then a screen grounding. He just came off being grounded from screens all weekend for numerous missing school assignments. 

Yes. Three year old treatment is going to be his consequence for lying from here on out! 

But I'm hoping and praying.....this morning of three year old treatment will be enough to get him to TELL THE TRUTH!

Honestly, all this would have been avoided if when asked if he had brushed his teeth, he had said "No" and gone and done it......