I ran into a previous client/friend of my parents today. We hugged and caught up and she asked me what I was up to. I of course excitedly tell her about our upcoming adoption and she pats my shoulder and looks at me shaking her head and says "I sure hope that works out for you. I hope you know what you're doing. We've heard such terrible stories about orphan adoptions." You would have think I told her I was diagnosed with cancer with her tone and sympathetic pat on my shoulder. How rude! Why are people like that? I mean even if she feels this way or has heard a bazillion horror stories, its not like we're so close or that great of friends that she should share them with me or give me advice!?
Why do some people love to rain on other people's parades?
I mean when you see someone having their eighth baby and they not exactly stellar parents of their other seven do you say things like "I hope you know what your doing?" or "What are you thinking?" No, you smile, congratulate and keep your negative/pessimistic thoughts to yourself!
And when you meet someone in passing that you may or may not think is making a bad decision you don't just blurt it out in the middle of Costco! Good grief!
I felt like I needed to justify my decision to adopt and then I thought, "Hey, this lady doesn't know my Alex, doesn't know how many major and minor miracles has got us to this point and she doesn't know me well enough to even say such a thing!!" Then of course I see her about five more times in the same story and I'm trying not to glare and I just want to run her over with my shopping cart!
I too have heard (and read on other blogs) of scary stories about adoptions gone bad, don't think it hasn't crossed my mind, and I know we'll have struggles and adjustments. But I KNOW this is what we're suppose to do, I know Lex is suppose to be with us, and don't think for a minute that this woman's opinion made me second guess my decision, cause it didn't. It just made me angry and defensive but I suppressed my inner mother bear and smiled politely, thanked her for her concern and moved on.
Thanks for letting me vent!
Love & peace to all!
Friday, February 20, 2009
It makes me angry...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
11 of my blog friends said something...:
I hear you! and know what that is like. even though i have never had a child before. I have had negative and this same thing on other things.
I totally am on your side and evetything. Some people really have some nerve. You know what? It's none of their business! either people can as friends be supportive and happy for you or they can just and need to keep their thoughts to themselves and keep their mouth's shut!
I am sorry this happened...again.:) It surprises me all of the time the perspective that some take to adoption. I can't count the people that have been shocked at our decision to adopt and they feel they have to make it known that we ought to rethink our decision. What do they know about what we've been through to get to this point. It is infuriating.
I might say something to the Octuplets mother if I ran into her in Costco, but I think this lady was quite rude.
Since you are in the proverbial 'last trimester' of your adoption, comments like your friend made to you probably strike the same nerve as comments like 'Are you having twins' when you were pregnant. You might think about having some fun with this and creating a post that contains things that you should never say to adoptive parents. Then open the comments to to rebuttals make people realize that they just stuck their foot in their mouth. Ha!
Do people really think that we don't know what we are doing? I love my two new wonderful children. They have brought joy and love into our family. I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. We are looking forward to doing it again. What people say doesn't change the fact that they are part of our family. My mother has told me that she does not consider them her grandchildren. It hurt me at first but is her loss to not to love them.
Oh Wendy - I am so sorry that people say these things to you! I am not at all surprised though, heaven forbid you just be happy for someone and the blessings they will give and receive. In this way this process is no different than having a new baby, you are excited to take each new step, whatever it might bring you. EXACTLY like any new parent! Argh!
Wendy, She was just rude! Don't even think about it another minute! Things are going to work out just fine! Alex could not be adopted by a better mom and dad and family anywhere!!! I just know in my heart that this is the right thing for all of you! And you know that! Everything will be fine!
People used to stop me at the mall to tell me my kids were to old to still be breast-feeding...it cracks me up how people determine what is or isn't their business.
Well, first of all, obviously, she is one crayon short of a crayloa box. I love when people "hear stories". It makes them think they are an authority on the matter. It just boils down to one thing, manners, to which, unfortunately, I have come to realize a vast majority of the public LACK! So, to help me deal with people like this, I like to say that they have SPP, my diagnosis of STUPID PEOPLE SYNDROME! Too bad there is not a cure, but just be thankful you don't have it! And next time you run into her just imagine SPP stamped acrossed her ignorant forehead! There ya go! Glad you didn't second guess yourself, because you know you are doing the right thing. Love ya lots!
I know exactly how you are feeling on this. I can't believe people act this way. I found out I was pregnant last month and we are also going through an adoption. People keep asking me if we are still going to adopt now that we are having a baby. I can't believe they would even think we would back out on our little guy now. We have known him for almost 3 years and we are not giving up...no matter what. We are almost finished with bringing him home and nothing will stop us. People are just so rude!
Post a Comment